Update and revised: See- "What is holding up the Get?"
I have been hearing from insiders - on both sides of this horrific fight - that the differences between Gital and Avraham Meir are now small and bridgeable. In other words the end is in sight. Hopefully in the very near future we can all put down the clubs and keyboards and celebrate the end to this horrible affair.
I have been hearing from insiders - on both sides of this horrific fight - that the differences between Gital and Avraham Meir are now small and bridgeable. In other words the end is in sight. Hopefully in the very near future we can all put down the clubs and keyboards and celebrate the end to this horrible affair.
What is preventing the agreement now seems to be that both sides view themselves as The Victim - which is only partially true. There is only one victim. That is the individual who at present doesn't even know about the battle that has been going on around him - that is their son. No matter how they divide custody and time - he is going to be torn between the two parents that he loves. Hopefully his parents will understand that they have to commit themselves to work together as his parents for their son's sake and act as if they are friends.
In addition one insider told me to that it is very important to mention on my blog that the figure of $350,000 is false. There has been too much yelling and screaming of about this large sum of money and the false claim that Avraham Meir is an extortionist who only cares about money. While it is true that both sides have spent at least that amount in the legal battles and the Weiss would have liked to be compensated in full for the crushing legal expenses - the Weiss's are willing to give the Get without being paid that amount. What they are demanding is only compensation for being forced to go to court initially to regain partial custody of the baby when Gital ran off with the child. That is considerably less than $350,000.
Finally we all realize at this point that the system is seriously in need of repair. There are too many examples of what can be described as corruption and insensitivity. Halacha is not being observed or being observed selectively. It is clear that some significant changes must be introduced to not only prevent women from being trapped in bad marriages - but also husbands. But the changes need to be universally accepted as operating within the bounds of halacha. This fight has raised the awareness of all of us as to how urgent the problem is. Hopefully this won't be forgotten after Gital has her Get. It is also important to note that if this was not Gital Dodelson (Kotler) versus Avraham Meir Weiss
(Feinstein) - nobody would have paid attention. There are significant
issues of marriage and divorce which need to be addressed - but why was
there been a media circus only in this case?
Update: In response to the assertion that the giving of the Get will be proof that the only reason she received it is the interviews in the NY Post and others media - it simply isn't true. The final settlement will probably be not significantly different than that proposed by Rabbi Greenwald and accepted by Avraham Meir before the media blitz. In other words, Gital's leaving the negotiating table for her media blitz against Avraham Meir - has gained her nothing! Even her supporters such as Rabbi Malkiel Kotler are disgusted by the NY Post article and Newsweek interviews - and especially by her joking comment that maybe she should live together with a guy for five years before marriage. Others were horrified by her statement "I am looking for a stepfather for my son." Rabbi Greenwald mentioned to someone that negotiations in this affair have been much harder than those that he conducted to get Sharansky's freedom.
Rabbi Greenwald - who has had a long and distinguished career in negotiating disputes - has also noted that in dealing with important people he will often ask that neither side go public with the details of negotiations. Playing to the media severely detracts from the ability to negotiate honestly and make the painful but necessary concessions. Unfortunately he apparently didn't think it was necessary to ask for it here.
It is critical to understand that if in fact Gital had bludgeoned Avraham Meir into submission by the roar of the outraged masses - the resulting Get would be posul. One of the reasons for my extensive coverage of this dispute - is to ensure that when Avraham Meir gives the Get - it will be of his own free will and not because he has a gun to his head. So a knock-out victory by Gital would be devastating to her, because she would never be able to marry without the concern for mamzerus.
For those of you who think Gital has the right to receive a Get on demand - that simple is not the Torah position. The Torah has a more nuanced position involving the concern for the stability of the family and the well being of children. In particular our Sages have noted that a readily available Get - produces the undesirable consequence that the couple is less likely to work hard to make the marriage work.
Gital definitely has won the support of secular and Modern Jews who view this case primarily as one of human dignity and the freedom of the individual to be happy. But she has lost the support of Yeshiva Jew view this as a severe chilul hashem and attack on halacha. Even for many of the rabbis who apparently supported her cause - it was primarily for political reasons - and they cringe when you mention "NY Post".
In sum, for those of you who are asking for a scorecard as to who won this fight - the simple answer is no one.
Update: In response to the assertion that the giving of the Get will be proof that the only reason she received it is the interviews in the NY Post and others media - it simply isn't true. The final settlement will probably be not significantly different than that proposed by Rabbi Greenwald and accepted by Avraham Meir before the media blitz. In other words, Gital's leaving the negotiating table for her media blitz against Avraham Meir - has gained her nothing! Even her supporters such as Rabbi Malkiel Kotler are disgusted by the NY Post article and Newsweek interviews - and especially by her joking comment that maybe she should live together with a guy for five years before marriage. Others were horrified by her statement "I am looking for a stepfather for my son." Rabbi Greenwald mentioned to someone that negotiations in this affair have been much harder than those that he conducted to get Sharansky's freedom.
Rabbi Greenwald - who has had a long and distinguished career in negotiating disputes - has also noted that in dealing with important people he will often ask that neither side go public with the details of negotiations. Playing to the media severely detracts from the ability to negotiate honestly and make the painful but necessary concessions. Unfortunately he apparently didn't think it was necessary to ask for it here.
It is critical to understand that if in fact Gital had bludgeoned Avraham Meir into submission by the roar of the outraged masses - the resulting Get would be posul. One of the reasons for my extensive coverage of this dispute - is to ensure that when Avraham Meir gives the Get - it will be of his own free will and not because he has a gun to his head. So a knock-out victory by Gital would be devastating to her, because she would never be able to marry without the concern for mamzerus.
For those of you who think Gital has the right to receive a Get on demand - that simple is not the Torah position. The Torah has a more nuanced position involving the concern for the stability of the family and the well being of children. In particular our Sages have noted that a readily available Get - produces the undesirable consequence that the couple is less likely to work hard to make the marriage work.
Gital definitely has won the support of secular and Modern Jews who view this case primarily as one of human dignity and the freedom of the individual to be happy. But she has lost the support of Yeshiva Jew view this as a severe chilul hashem and attack on halacha. Even for many of the rabbis who apparently supported her cause - it was primarily for political reasons - and they cringe when you mention "NY Post".
In sum, for those of you who are asking for a scorecard as to who won this fight - the simple answer is no one.