Dr. Salamon (psychologist), R Frankfurter (editor of Ami magazine) & Pinny Taub (survivor and advocate) - discuss dealing with abuse while avoiding vilifying Orthodox community

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         Complete Show mp3   Sunday, November 20, 2011 3:00 AM Dr. Michael J. Salamon, Woodmere Psychologist Tackling Abuse in Orthodox Jewish Community, Pini Taub abused around 1990 abused by Rebbe in Yeshiva

This is an important event. Dr. Salomon is an Orthodox therapist who deals with abuse victims and has written a book about the unique issues of dealing with abuse in the Orthodox community. Pinny Taub is a chassidic victim who has been an eloquent advocate for victims. He recent stopped attacking the rabbis and institutions who have not helped or have obstructed help for victims. He now feels it is necessary to focus exclusively on change which doesn't involve criticism of rabbinic authority or the Orthodox community. Rabbi Frankfurter is the editor and publisher of Ami Magazine - who constantly attacked Dr. Salamon for vilifying the Orthodox community over the abuse issue - even though he admits he didn't read his book and later apologized to Dr Salamon -  if it were true that he wasn't vilifying the community.

The issue of course is the old one of what is more important - to protect the victims of abuse or to preserve the perception of authority and integrity of the rabbis and community leaders. Everyone would agree if you can have both - than go for it. The issue is when you have to decide between the two which side to you chose. Can you only help the victims to the degree that it doesn't embarrass the community?  Or is helping the victims the prime value - even when it causes embarrassment and reduced respect for the rabbis. 

It is interesting that the main villain according to Rabbi Frankfurter, Pinny Taub and Dr Salamon is the bloggers. They all seem to assume that there are no good blogs or that no good comes from even bad blogs. In this they are both clearly mistaken.

The following was from a  discussion I had on Cross-Currents  with Pinny Taub (who contributed a chapter to my book) on this issue

Pinny Taub wrote to me:

I really have a lot of respect for you. I did not include you in my letter and I did not include most activists. I specifically wrote hate-filled. I agree that whatever has changed for the better came because of the constructive criticism and you deserve a great deal of credit for that. Regarding your book I have no regret that I added my story. If my story helped only one person become more aware, then I thank you for giving me this opportunity.

Author of Hush speaking in Chicago

Author of Hush - speaking at Y.I. of Long Beach

In recognition of the Second National Jewish Week for the Prevention of Child Abuse, the Jewish Board of Advocates for Children, and the Young Israel of Long Beach are pleased to announce the first New York public appearance of Judith Brown, the acclaimed author of the award-winning book, "Hush", which is based upon the story of a case of child sex abuse in Brooklyn's Chassidic community.

The lecture, free of charge, is scheduled for Sunday, November 27, 2011, at 7:30 p.m. at Young Israel of Long Beach, 120 Long Beach Boulevard Long Beach, NY

Introductory remarks will also be made by Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC) president Elliot Pasik, Esq., who will give an update as to ongoing progress in making our yeshivas and all nonpublic schools safer and better.

Is a parent who had incestual relations - decades ago - still a danger to family?

Received this letter today with permission to post it. Any constructive suggestions welcome. I don't deal with this type of assessment - and I am not sure it is even is valid. Therefore I think the family needs to be informed as a first step - and the father evaluated by an experienced professional. Since he hasn't molested anybody recently - there is no requirement either according to halacha or secular law to report him. The issue is entirely whether he is dangerous.

[Update 11/16/2011]. I discussed this issue with a number of psychologists who deal with abuse. The consensus was that while testing can be useful -  there in no test which can establish that a person is not a threat. So while it does happen that an abuser stops - it is difficult to determine whether a particular abuser has permanently stopped and is no longer a danger. Often it simply means that he choses his victims more carefully so that he doesn't get caught. Therefore this abuser can not be trusted and care must always be taken not to leave him alone with children. So while there is no requirement to report him to the police in the absence of any known abuse in many years - he is a major concern. However how to inform others is not a simple matter - especially where no one is willing to file a complaint. Therefore an expert in child abuse should be consulted for advice how to proceed. It is important to know that sometimes an abuser will abstain for 20 or 30 years and then start again.

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Dear Rabbi Eidensohn,

I am writing because of the work you have done into the problem of pedophilia, etc. My question is as follows.

A (female) student/friend of mine was incested as a child by her father, a rabbi from a prominent Chassidic family. She knows of cousins who were also abused by him, many years earlier, when he was still a bochur.  (These cousins include two women and a man). She (my student) has reason to believe that her brother and another sister were also incested. My student is now over forty and the abuse occurred between age 2 and 12.; Her father admitted to it. Until last night she had not spoken with anyone in the family about it (except her mother).

My friend has distanced herself from her family (gently but firmly with no explanation) starting about 10 years ago, but in the course of her own healing process she realized that her nieces and nephews are likely in danger for the scientific research suggests that a pedophile rarely ceases his predatory behavior at his own initiative, even in elder years (her father is probably in his late sixties). So yesterday she spoke with her brother, and told him her story, and charged him with informing their other siblings to be cautious with their children and to not leave them alone on any regular basis, with their grandfather.

The brother took it in, and then said that there is this therapist who gives people a test that is supposed to distinguish between pedophiles who are likely to be still dangerous and those who are probably not. He wants to ask his father to take this test to see if it is really necessary to inform his siblings. (Also if his father is really a danger than maybe he must inform the next generation his own children, nieces and nephews to watch their children).

My question is,: Do you know anything about this test. Do you think it is reliable. What if the perpetrator lies about the extent of his previous offences, can it detect that. Do you know about this therapist. Is there someone you can refer me to who might help me sort this out. My friend/student does not want to be involved any more.  She feels like she did her bit by telling her brother, and feels that further involvement would be harmful to her, so she has dropped the ball in my court.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.  Many thanks

Penn Scandal: Aish HaTorah did not publish my criticism of their article

Yesterday I submitted my criticism of Aish HaTorah - The_Penn_State_Scandal article to their comment section-  it has so far not appeared. I assume it was rejected. See my post- Penn-state-scandal-learning-torah-from goyim

Positive feedback from a reader regarding my books on abuse

little sheep wrote:

Hi,

As a survivor of child sexual abuse, as well as someone who runs an online support group and an educator of young children, I want to commend you for the sensitivity you displayed in your book. I borrowed volume one from a friend (also a survivor and educator) and have just ordered volumes two and three.

You may not get this response often, therefore I feel compelled to send it to you. After staying up all night last night reading your book, I ultimately realized that I had enough information about a certain member of my support site indicating that she and a sibling are in imminent danger and was able to contact people  to help her get started on the process of reporting her abuse. Unfortunately, she is still at a stage of extreme fear (rightly so-the last attack she experienced was on Yom Kippur, after she refused to forgive the perpetrator for a previous attack), and says she will not talk to the authorities if they speak to her. Therefore, two therapists and a rav are now working with her to get her into counseling and hopefully help her leave the house and report the abuse.

Thank you so much for all the work you do for k'lal yisroel!

Catholic bishop who violated mandated reporting - gets a deal

New York Times

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In a deal to avoid a second round of criminal charges, a Roman Catholic bishop in Kansas City has agreed to meet monthly with a county prosecutor to detail every suspicious episode involving abuse of a child in his diocese for the next five years. 

Bishop Robert W. Finn of the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph was indicted in October by a grand jury in neighboring Jackson County for failure to report suspected child abuse by a priest he supervised. He is the first American bishop to face indictment on charges of mishandling an abuse case. [...]

But victims’ advocates criticized the deal because it essentially allows Bishop Finn to avoid prosecution and relies on him to volunteer information to the prosecutor. 

“There’s no one else that they would make this kind of a deal with but a bishop,” said Marci Hamilton, a professor of public law at the Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law at Yeshiva University, who has written about the church and child abuse cases. “There’s always all this maneuvering to avoid having bishops testify in child sex abuse cases, or in any case.”