Raising children - curse or joy?

 One of the punishments that Eve received was tzar gidal banim

Eiruvin (100b): Rav Yitzchok bar Avdimi said, Eve was cursed with 10 curses as it says Bereishis (3:16), “To the woman, He said, and I will greatly multiply.” That is referring to two drops of blood – one being that of nidda and the other that of virginity. your pain, refers to the pain of raising children. “And your travail”, refers to the pain of pregnancy. “and in your pain you shall give birth to children” is literally birth pains. “And your desire shall before for your husband” teaches that a woman has a desire for her husband when he is about to go on a journey. ”And he shall rule over you” teaches that while the wife expresses her desire for her husband with her heart, the husband does expresses his desire for her with his mouth. But this is a fine character trait of women? What it meant is that she needs to ingratiate herself with him. But these are only seven? When Rav Dimi came to Bavel he explained, She is wrapped up like a mourner, she is banished from the company of all men and she is confined within a prison.

 

However Tosfos (Sanhedrin 19b) describes it as simcha (joy)

תוספות הרא"ש מסכת סנהדרין דף יט עמוד ב

שפדאו מצער גדול בנים. אין הבנים צער לאדם אלא שמחה כדאמר גבי עובד אדום שברכו הקדוש ברוך הוא וילדו ששה בכרס אחד ולאברהם היו הרבה בנים, אלא צער יוסף ודינה ושמעון וגלגול ירידת מצרים היה ראוי לבוא בימי אברהם ופדאו יעקב

Women and death

Tosfos Sanhedrin (20a): Women go before the coffin at a funeral. Since this is a time of suffering there is no concern for producing sexual thoughts. In the Yerushalmi there is a dispute. One view is that this practice is because women are the cause of death while others say that women should follow the coffin because it is degrading for the women to be stared at by the men. 

Bereishis Rabbah (017:08) Why do the women walk in front of the corpse at a funeral?’ Because they brought death into the world, they therefore walk in front of the corpse, as it is written], For he is borne to the grave... and all men draw after him, as there were innumerable before him’ (Job 21:32 f).

Women mature intellectually earlier than men because they don't study Torah

 Torah Temimah (Bereishis 02:22.48) If you investigate the matter it seems that both understandings are correct. In other words the female has greater understanding and commonsense than the male and the intellect matures earlier. This is expressed by Rashi (Kesubos 50a) where he explains why girls start fasting at the age of 12 while boys wait until the age of 13 because girls develop intellectually earlier because they aren’t weakened by Torah study. That is because if the body is strengthened that also means the mind is strengthened.

Eve was the mother of life because she brought death into the world

 Toras Moshe (Bereishis 3:20): Adam called his wife Eve because she was the mother of all life.Rashi explains that this goes back to the initial issue of giving names. Accordingly in agreement with our Sages (Avoda Zara 5a) : Come let us render gratitude to our ancestors because they brought death to the world. Because if they were still alive we in comparison to them would be like animals. But now that Eve brought death to the world she became the mother to all life because withot her we would be like we never came into the world.

Women are inherently materialistic

 Maharal (Sotah 22a): Mishna: ... an ascetic woman (isha perusha) and ascetic wounds ... destroy the world. Women are materialistic and therefore asceticism is not relevant for them i.e., to abstain from that which is permitted to her. That is because abstaining from that which is permitted is abstaining from materialism entirely and this is simply not characteristic of women since they are materialistic therefore it is not normal for her to be ascetic. If you do find a woman who is ascetic it is because she wants to be viewed as a righteous woman and thus it is for her benefit – rather than for spiritual purposes. This is similar to “ascetic wounds” It happens to a person who is excessive with his asceticism and he does things which are inappropriate. This is only done is to make an impression on others rather than for spirituality and thus it is not normal. So not only do these two categories fail to build the world they actually are destructive to the well-being of the world. That is because all things which are excessive - remove a person from the world. Similarly foolish piety which is also mentioned in this Mishna and a cunning wicked person – because they all act inappropriately. It is very necessary to understand these matters in order that a person knows to do acts of piety with wisdom and common sense.

Subservience of wife was a punishment

Ohr HaChaim (Bereishis 3:16): And to the woman G-d  said. I will greatly increase your pain. G-d intended to give Eve three punishments corresponding to three things that motivated her to sin. She said 1) the fruit is good 2) it is a source of lust 3) It is good for intelligence. So corresponding for the desire for pleasure against G–d’s desire she was punished with pain even in the time of rejoicing i.e. pain in giving birth, Corresponding to the issue of lust... G‑d said, And to your husband will be your desire that you will lust after him constantly. There is in this two aspects of the punishment. 1) She will lust but will not have control in sexual issues rather it will all depend on her husband and this aspect is also included in “He will rule over you.” 2) In reality her desire is never fully satiated. This is a major difference between men and women. A man is capable of being fully satiated while a woman cannot. It is truly a great punishment that she is never able to satisfy her desires. . and corresponding to the last item she thought she would remove G‑d’s great control because she wanted to be like G‑d  and as punishment G‑d  added another layer of control and subjugation - her husband.

Women are weak minded but have greater Binah (understanding)

 Torah Temimah (Devarim 11:19.48) She is not required to learn since we have a rule that all those that others must teach are obligated to learn. It would seems obvious that while there is no obligation for a girl to learn Torah but if she wants to be taught it is permitted. But the truth is that the halacha is that it is prohibited to teach girls Torah. The reason is stated in Sotah (21b) that wisdom leads to slyness and deception and she will end up concealing her transgressions. The Rambam (Talmud Torah 1:13) writes that the reason is that she will end up turning Torah into nonsense. Ultimately all these views are based on the principle that women are naturally weak minded (daatan kalos)

 Torah Temimah (Devarim 11:19.48): The principle that women are weak minded seems to contradict the principle that women  were given extra binah (understanding) . However in truth the characteristics of daas and binah are different. Daas refers to the initial impression that the mind forms while bina is the conceptualization which is developed after careful examination and thinking over a period of time as well as the deductive process of deriving conclusions and the ability for abstract thinking. Therefore even though women  have greater binah than men., but their ability to quickly and accurate grasp new knowledge is inferior. And this is agreed to by scholars. Furthermore those who investigate mental processes write that a person who has a sharp mind has to be extra careful to avoid distorting truth and thus women have a bigger danger of distorting the truth than men because they more easily can construct rationalizations and mistaken views based on weak and flimsy grounds. This is easily readily experienced to be true. This also the meaning of Avos (3:17) if a person is lacking Daas he lacks understanding. That means if a persons facts are weak than the understanding that is developed can not be relied on. So women have a weaker grasp of facts so therefore the conclusions they develop are more likely to be false.