Rav Sternbuch:Forcing Husband to divorce Wife

This should be read together with these other teshuvos of Rav Sternbuch

Teshuvos v'Hanhagos (1:389): Question: A woman has suffered for a number of years from her husband who refuses to divorce her - how can he be forced to give a get?  

Answer: It is an established halacha that if the wife refuses to live with her husband because she claims he is disgusting to her (ma'os alei) that it is impossible to force him to divorce her. This is explicitly stated by the Rema (E.H. 77:3). And even if it has been a number of years that they have separated and he is being spiteful and cruel in refusing to divorce her it is clearly stated by the Teshuvos haRosh (43:6) that if we force him to give the get there is the concern that it is a get me'usa and therefore invalid and it only serves to increase mamzerim. However while it is stated in the Rema (E.H. 154:21) that nidoi (cherem) is considered force and is prohibited, nevertheless he says it is permitted to decree that no Jew should do him a favor or should do business with him or even to circumcize his sons or to bury them - until he divorces his wife. But the Pischei Teshuva (E.H. 154:30) says there these shunnings (harhakos) are equivalent to nidoi (cherem) and are not permitted to be imposed today and the only recourse is to tell him that it is permitted to call him a sinner  and he says it is best to be strict according to this opinion. This is agreed to by the Chazon Ish (E.H. 105:12). He concludes in the name of the Rashba that it is not permitted to humiliate the husband or to torment him - examine this well.

However it appears that what is prohibited is to humiliate him and to shun him in a manner similar to cherem - i.e, not to do business with him and not to do him a favor - and that is not done today. (Chazon Ish understands the Pischei Teshuva differently). But when he is not actively humiliated but that he is only not given honors for example he is notified that he will not receive an aliyah in his shul or any other shul and that he will not be allowed to be the shliach tzibor - then this is not like cherem at all even though it causes some humiliation. The only pressure permitted is that he should know that the community does not approve of his conduct of being cruel to his wife - but this is not called force at all.

I recall witnessing an incident involving Rav Yechiel Weinberg (Seridei Aish) concerning a husband who spitefully refused to divorce his wife after a number of years and he directed that it be known and publicized that this husband was not to get an aliya in the shul. That is in accord with what I have written that this type of pressure is not called force. It is also done here in Yerushalayim to publicize notices in the street that a particular person is a sinner and has made his wife an aguna. In my opinion 1) if she has solid justification for her desire to be divorced then it would be possible and appropriate to force him  actively with humiliations to give her a get. We learn from Kesubos (71a) if it is clear that he hates her then he is obligated to divorce her. 2) On the other hand if there is no apparent reason for her being repelled by him we can distance him.  I am inclined to permit humiliation in such cases but it is necessary for beis din first to be very careful and thorough in evaluating the situation as to whether it is appropriate. Similarly one should not spare any efforts to encourage that she live with him when she requests a divorce and there is no clear reason except she says she doesn't like him. 3) But if there is a clear reason - then even if we don't force him with a beating we are accustomed to be lenient to pressure him with notices  in shuls as I mentioned above.

This that the wife creates pressure with the claim that he is tormenting her and she can not stand the situation any more and that she is ready to go to "rabbis" who are lenient in divorce - that is still not justification for us to make rulings against the Torah. The ways of G-d are hidden and some suffer physically while other suffering financially and some suffer in their marriage. We need to hope to G-d that the end of suffering has arrived and that he will divorce her. On the other hand, to force him with high payments for food or to humiliate him when it is not permitted - it doesn't help because this pressure only produces a get me'usa - G-d forbid - which has no validity. But concerning cruelty and spite which is characteristic of Sedom - only Heaven can punish him.

Igros Moshe: Reading medical texts regarding sex

Igros Moshe(E.H. 1:102): Question: Prior to the wedding is it appropriate prior to read medical books regarding the topic of sexual relations in order to know how to provide pleasure for the woman - in order that there be domestic tranquility (shalom bayis). Answer: On the last few days prior to the wedding, the chasan is normally preoccupied with thoughts of sexuality as we know that the first night after the wedding that this preoccupation is considered preoccupation with a mitzva and he is exempt from saying Shema as is explicitly stated in the gemora.... However prior to this period of just before the wedding, it is not appropriate since there is the concern that reading this material would arouse sexual fantasies (hirhur) and causes zera l’vatala. The only exception would be for a person who is certain that this would not happen. However who today can be so sure of himself

Rav Sternbuch: Calling police for Jewish owned house of prostitution

This tshuva has a clear relationship to calling police for a sexual predator

Teshuvos v'Hanhagos (2:727): Question: A Jew is running a house of prostitution in the community, is it permitted to report him to the police?

Answer: It seems obvious that that if the reporting to the police closes the operation, then not only is it permitted to report it but it is a mitzva to do so for two reasons. 1) He is considered a rodef (pursuer) after illegal sexual activity (ervah). Just as with someone who is trying to kill another or even one who only causes another to die - he has the status of rodef. Here also he is considered a rodef after prohibited sexual activity (giloi arayos). Furthermore since many transgress prohibited activities because of him it is also beneficial to the community (migder milsa) to inform on him so that the receive a severe punishment. Thus it is permitted to inform on him ןif he is causing adultery and he will be imprisoned so he will no longer be able to do evil anymore.

However if reporting him does not stop his activities then it requires further analysis to determine if it is permitted to permit the very serious prohibition of mesira (informing) - even against such a evil person.

Nevertheless if at the time he is in jail the house of prostitution is closed down or its activities stopped or even if they are merely reduced - it would appear there is no problem at all to report him. This is true even if reporting him causes him to receive a long prison term -  since today imprisonment is not considered life threatening. Therefore it is obligated to call the police.

Look at the Taz (Y.D. 157:8) who says a counterfeiter has the status of rodef because he is endangering the community and this applies to any other bad activities which are done on purpose. So surely in our case where he is endangering people's spiritual welfare. However it appears that even the psak of the Taz only applies if the reporting actually brings about an improvement. However if someone else will replace him and thus the activity is not stopped - he can not be reported for nothing as is explained in Gittin (7a) that even bad people are not to be reported to the government if it doesn't improve the situation.

This that you claim that only the house of prostitution is only for goyim. First of all it is also prohibited for us to cause goyim to commit adultery and to assist them to sin in this manner. He is also endangering the Jewish people because this is against the secular law. Furthermore it is a incredibly bad chillul haShem.  In addition who is determining and guarantying that only goyim enter? Therefore it is obvious that this claim is not valid.

If it is possible to warn him in a manner which doesn't endanger the person issuing the warning then it is definitely obligated to warn him first. However if it is impossible because of the possibility of being harmed - then he is to be reported to the police without warning in order to stop the immorality and the chilul hashem according to the ruling of the Taz cited above.

A misbehaving woman is ugly: Beauty only to serve G-d

Rav Yaakov Emden(Avos 6:2): The verse (Mishlei 11:22) a beautiful woman who misbehaves is like a gold ring in the nose of a pig. The explanation of this verse is that Shlomo saw with his wisdom the lust that men had for women. Their love blinded them from seeing the disgusting aspects of women. This is stated in Shabbos (152a): A woman is like a pitcher of filth and her mouth is full of blood and yet everyone runs after her. If you would reveal to them her blemishes they would not pay attention. Thus Shlomo used a parable that was obvious and known to all and applied it to a woman. Thus it means that even though a ring is something very valuable – the pig itself is not beautiful. It is clearly disgusting to everyone and therefore even with the beauty of the ring – the pig itself is not innately attractive. This is the point of comparison to a woman. Thus when the external reasons for the attractiveness of women are removed – she herself is compared to a pig. A person should not be seduced by the form and beauty of a person since it is superficial. Thus a person who is perceived of as beautiful – the beauty is only to serve G‑d. If he doesn’t act in this manner, he destroys the godly image. Thus we see about the wicked Haman (Esther 7), And the face of Haman was covered. That is because he angered G‑d. The consequence for one who has caused anger and is reprimanded is to be degraded, embarrassed and to have his face concealed.

Rachel showed modesty by betraying Yaakov?

This description is also found at Megilla (13b). How is the betrayal of her husband as well as causing him great embarrassment and to violate halacha (since he was having relations withone woman while he had his mind on another one) - considered praiseworthy and why is it labeled as tznius (modesty)?

Bava Basra(123a):... Wherein did Rachel's modesty lie? It is written, And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's brother and that he was Rebecca's son. Was he not the son of her father's sister? But he said to her,[Will] you marry me? [And] she replied to him, Yes, but father is a sharper, and you will not he able [to hold your own against] him Wherein, he asked her, does his sharp dealing lie? I have, she said, a sister who is older than I, and he will not allow me to be married before her. I am his brother he said to her, in sharp dealing. But she said to him, may the righteous indulge in sharp dealing? [he replied]. With the pure, [Scripture says], Thou dost show thyself pure, and with the crooked Thou dost show thyself subtle.[Thereupon] he entrusted her [with certain identification] marks. While Leah was being led into [the bridal chamber] she thought, my sister will now be disgraced [and so] she entrusted her [with] these very [marks]. And this accounts for the Scriptural text, And it came to pass in the morning that, behold, it was Leah, which seems to imply that until then she was not Leah! But, [this is the explanation]: On account of the [identification] marks which Jacob had entrusted to Rachel who had entrusted them to Leah, he knew not [who] she [was] until that moment.

Kidush HaShem:Mesiras nefesh which ignores consequences?

This is a continuation of the post regarding Berachos (20a). The Shaloh seems to be rejecting the premise of the gemora that one should act quickly with mesiras nefesh and not worry about the consequences and as a result you will have your prayers answered. The Shaloh criticizes Rav Ada for not thinking the matter over carefully before he acted. On the other hand the Yaavetz & Ben Yohoyada praise self sacrifice for kiddush haShem without concern for the negative consequences. In other words the Shaloh possibly doesn't view it as a kiddush hashem if it results in a major mistake while the Yaavetz & Ben Yohoyada assert that the "damn the torpedoes" approach is viewed by all as a kiddush haShem. This debate seems to anticipate the debate in the religious community of acts of kana'os (zealotry) whether they are praiseworthy because of their motivation to improve religious observance or whether they are perceived as a disaster because of the insensitivity displayed and the negative view of religion created. This also seems related to this issue of yashrus - in particular the Netziv's criticism of the tzadikim in the Second Temple who ignored the negative consequences of their piety.

Shaloh (Sha’ar HaOsiyos Mem Masun patience 3-4): 3) Dovid (Tehilim 119:59) said, “I have evaluated my path and I have returned my feet to Your testimonies.” Dovid was saying, Every path that I wish to travel and everything which I wish to do, I first evaluate it prior to doing it. It is good and upright in G‑d’s eyes and that of mankind than I do it or go in that path. On the other hand if it appears to me that the path is not good than I leave it for another - because in everything there are alternatives. In this manner I always turn my feet to Your testimonies. Therefore a person should always attach himself to this approach and it should become second nature to him. He should not do anything in the world – whether great or small or any word at all and even if he hears insults - until he has thought clearly about the matter and decided what is the best course of action. And he should remember G‑d and His holy Torah and keep that in front of his eyes and then he will be secure in his path and will not stumble. 4) This applies not only concerning issues left to personal discretion but even concerning mitzvos. He should do them deliberately and with care. For example the incident recorded in Berachos (20a) where Rav Ada was punished 400 zuz. He said to the woman he embarrassed by acting hastily, “Masun masun is equal to 400 zuz.” This was concerning a matter of mitzva and kiddush haShem in which Rav Ada tore a cape from a woman who was wearing it in the market thinking she was Jewish. Even though it says that a diligent person does mitzvos as soon as possible and it is necessary to be swift – that is only regarding mitzvos which are well known and understood thoroughly such as going to the synagogue or yeshiva and fulfilling all the mitzvos involving deeds mentioned in the Torah. However those things which require thought and understanding – such as a person who is planning to distribute a purse full of money to the poor and he meet a group of poor people – he should not be hasty. He first needs to ascertain which of the poor are more deserving than others. The same is true of many other things. And surely this deliberation is necessary in matters left to personal discretion. Nothing should be done or any words said until he has thought carefully about the matter. These considerations apply infinitely more so to a deed or word concerning a prohibition such as hitting or disputes etc. He needs to be deliberate and patient and review the matter from all sides. Only then will he have peace and tranquility and quiet all of his days from troubles and in addition he will find have grace intelligence in the eyes of G‑d and man.

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Ben Yohayada (Berachos 20a): Rav Ada bar Ahava thought the woman was Jewish. The question arises as to why he decided to be moser nefesh since he thought she was Jewish? It appears to me that even though he thought she was Jewish, he hadn’t conclusive evidence and he was aware of the slight possibility that she was not Jewish. Nevertheless he acted based on the following reasoning. If in fact she was Jewish he did the right thing by removing the red cape. And even if she was not Jewish - and as a result of his action he would have to pay money or even endanger his life from physical punishment if she was a member of the ruling class - he would still benefit from the fact that he was doing a kiddush haShem by this act. That is because those who heard about what he did would say how careful the Jews are to observe their mitzvos that this Torah scholar was so zealous for the sake of G‑d to the point of endangering his life and didn’t worry that perhaps the woman was not Jewish and that she might be a member of the ruling class that would result in a very severe punishment. Thus we learn from this to be moser nefesh for kiddush haShem.

Yaavetz(Migdal Oz – Even Bochen 21): There is another type of kiddush haShem and that is to place oneself in danger in order to establish proper Jewish observance and to attack sinners. For example Pinchas and Rav Ada bar Ahava mentioned in Berachos (20a), “Why did miracles happen to earlier generations? Because they gave themselves completely for kiddush haShem.” Included in this is for a person to tell the people what is the correct and good path to follow and not to be concerned about himself or his money. His only consideration should be to improve his fellow man and to honor G‑d. There is no greater kiddush haShem than this.

Chazon Ish: True moderation can only be achieved as failure to achieve perfection

Chazon Ish(Letters 3:61): Just as the unvarnished facts and truth are synonymous so are uncompromising perfectionism and greatness. Perfectionism means to develop something to the ultimate degree. One who advocates moderation and despises perfectionism, his lot is with the frauds or with those lacking understanding. Without perfectionism, there can be no completion and if there is no perfection, there is no beginning. The beginning is with constant questions and replies. The perfecter is the brilliant respondent who orders everything in its rightful place. We regularly hear announcements from well‑known groups that they have nothing to do with uncompromising perfectionists. They nevertheless describe themselves as being the true Jews with appropriate faith to Torah. We simply note, however, that just as there is no such thing amongst lovers of wisdom as love for minimum knowledge and hate for the very wise there is similarly no such thing as loving Torah and mitzvos moderately and hating the uncompromising perfectionists. All the foundations of emuna, the 13 principles and their derivatives, are inherently incompatible with the lightweight wisdom and superficial life that exists in this world. In contrast clear recognition, energetic involvement; high precision in emuna is the hallmark of the perfectionist. Those who proudly testify on themselves that they have not tasted the sweetness of uncompromising perfection are simultaneously testifying that they are missing emuna in the foundation of religion both intellectually and emotionally. Their attachment is only lukewarm. The perfectionists, who despite their genuine wish to have pity on these doctrinaire moderates, do not honor and respect their opponents. The yawning abyss that separates them is naturally only widened as the result of the disputes that occur when they interact with each other. The only true moderation that can exist is that which results naturally to those who love the perfection and strive towards it and educate their children to strive for the peak. In contrast how unfortunate are those “moderates” who cast aspersions on the perfectionists. The obligation of our education is to perfection. The only genuine protection of the educational system is to be contemptuous and to ridicule those who denigrate perfection. However given the burning spirit of youth it is not appropriate to strongly condemn specific individuals amongst the unfortunates. Instead, the youth should be developed to have true love of Torah that requires personal effort and heavenly pleasantness and they should not have obstacles placed on this road. Those schools that are labeled as moderate schools, they are not successful because of the fraud that is inherent in moderation…

במשך שנים: המלמד ב'חיידר' חשוד שפגע בתלמידיו

 https://www.bhol.co.il/news/1579552

ה'רבה', המתגורר בשכונת נווה יעקב בבירה, חשוד כי פגע בחומרה בכמה מתלמידיו במשך מספר שנים | חלק מהתלונות מדברות על תקיפות חמורות גם בתקופה האחרונה | בית המשפט האריך את מעצרו

Jerusalem rabbi arrested for sexual offenses against minors

 https://www.jpost.com/breaking-news/article-754542

According to reports, the suspect is in his 50s and is a rabbi. His remand was extended while the investigations continue.

The rabbi has allegedly committed sexual offenses against minors in several different cases over a period of years.

POLITICS House Republicans are furious about Hunter Biden special counsel

 https://www.cnbc.com/2023/08/11/house-republicans-furious-about-hunter-biden-special-counsel.html

 After more than two years of demanding that the Justice Department appoint a special counsel to investigate Hunter Biden, Republicans in Congress finally got their wish on Friday. And they were furious.

The new twist in Hunter Biden’s case is a huge political headache for his father

 https://edition.cnn.com/2023/08/11/politics/hunter-biden-investigation-joe-biden/index.html

Given that Republicans have been calling for a special counsel for months, they might have been expected to celebrate Friday’s bombshell announcement.

But top GOP lawmakers immediately launched a flurry of attacks on Weiss, despite the fact that he was first appointed under Trump, claiming that far from insulating the case from political influence, his appointment as a special counsel was an attempt at a cover up. The GOP has turned against Weiss because he has not substantiated their evidence-free claims that Joe Biden conspired with his son to enrich their family while he was vice president and they also claim that the plea deal originally offered to Hunter Biden was a “sweetheart” agreement.

Republicans Wanted a Special Counsel Investigation of Hunter Biden. Now Many Oppose It.

 https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/12/us/politics/republicans-hunter-biden-special-counsel.html

Although some G.O.P. lawmakers see the appointment of David C. Weiss as a vindication of their strategy, others criticize the now-scuttled plea deal he struck with Mr. Biden.

Republican fantasy Hunter Biden's crimes - Mishpacha Magazine expose!

 https://mishpacha.com/the-hunter-scorecard/

Hunter Biden has proven the most fecund source of scandals of anyone in recent memory. Or at least, he should be — if not for all the major American institutions that have been caught trying to cover his tracks. The Department of Justice (DOJ), the FBI and CIA, the US intelligence community, the mainstream media — all of these formerly trusted entities have seen their image tarnished in the eyes of the public with the revelations of Hunter’s wrongdoing.

5th Circuit deals blow to federal gun statute used in Hunter Biden case

 https://www.foxnews.com/politics/fifth-circuit-deals-blow-federal-gun-statute-used-hunter-biden-case

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit on Wednesday voided a federal law that prevents unlawful drug users from possessing firearms.

The statute, 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(3), bars anyone who is an "unlawful user of or addicted to any controlled substance," including marijuana, from possessing a gun. Violators can face up to 10 years in prison. However, a three-judge panel, citing the Supreme Court's landmark gun rights decision last year, unanimously found the statute unconstitutional as applied to defendant Patrick Daniels.