The following is a letter that Beth Alexander asked me to publicize. I am greatly saddened and disgusted that she had to publicize this request. It is inconceivable to me that anyone who has a Jewish heart would refuse her - and yet so far she has been unable to get permission from Chabad. This is especially troubling given the importance that the Rebbe and Rav Moshe Feinstein held of birthdays.
Furthermore I have been informed that my publicizing Beth's plight irritates members of the Vienna community - including its rabbis. I have been told that there is muttering about "Why air this on the Internet?" I in fact share your concerns but I see no alternative at present. I welcome any suggestion that would take care of these matters of common decency - without publicity. So far private requests have accomplished nothing!
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update - The Law of Austria regardiing child custody European Commission
http://www.help.gv.at/Portal.Node/hlpd/public/content/10/Seite.100022.html
In the case of sole custody, the non-custodial parent has the following minimal rights.
The right to information, statements and representation
The custodial parent is obliged to inform the non-custodial
parent about important matters and changes in the life of a child of
both parties (eg change of school, change of address, illnesses which
are not just minor, success at school).
The non-custodial parent
has the right to make a statement about these topics. The custodial
parent also has these rights, ie the parents are obliged to inform each
other about these things. The non-custodial parent also has to care for
and rear the child and represent him/her in everyday matters, as long as
circumstances permit, e.g when the custodial parent is not present and
the child is lawfully spending time with the non-custodial parent.
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I address this simple request to Chabad International; to every Chabad Shalich, Rabbi, Rebbetzen and Chabadnik, in every country and in every continent of the world:
You are the so-called emissaries of the Rebbe. You have chosen a very noble role; to publicly take upon yourselves the onus of 'caring for' and 'reaching out' to Jewish souls all over the world. Your ethos: when you hear a cry of distress, you rush to help. When you see suffering, you do everything in your human power to relieve the pain.
Samuel and Benjamin Schlesinger will be 5 years old this Shabbos. I've been told the normal procedure on a child's birthday is as follows:
The Chabad kindergarten in Vienna, Rav Biderman's school, celebrate with a party in the class and crown the child a birthday 'king or queen.' The child's parents are invited to be there to join in.
Since my twins' birthday is on Shabbos, I assume this party will take place on Friday.
My little princes will have their turns as the birthday 'kings.' Their class will sing 'yom huledet sameach' and their friends will congratulate them and give them gifts. There is just one thing missing from this wonderful occasion: the life source who carried them and brought them into this world: their mother.
Every other child takes it for granted that their 'mama' is invited by the kindergarten to their birthday party, that their 'mama' brings them in the morning and picks them up in the afternoon. Sammy and Benji are not that fortunate.
Michael Schlesinger cancelled my visit this Tuesday without giving any reason and the visiting centre cancelled my visit this Sunday.
I therefore have ONE request from you:
TO ALLOW SAMMY AND BENJI TO HAVE THEIR MOTHER AT THEIR BIRTHDAY PARTY IN THE CHABAD KINDERGARTEN IN VIENNA
Such a simple request yet one which would mean all the joy and happiness in the world to me and my boys. Do not turn me away. There is no court order prohibiting me from attending the kindergarten. No law will be broken if I am present and yet how many Chabad principles will be broken if I'm denied this simple wish?
It is not my intention to inconvenience anyone. I only want to be there for my babies - the children to whom I GAVE BIRTH - on their BIRTHday.
Please have compassion. See our tears and hear our cries. Let the twins' 5th birthday be a happy memory we can look back on and cherish.
Such a lofty mission as you embraced was never meant to be easy. You can choose to take the easy route and ignore me, letting us suffer further, or you can take on the challenge like warriors and honour the name of the Rebbe throughout klall Yisroel.
I charge you, every single Chabadnik around the world, to do EVERYTHING in your power to make Rav Biderman's Chabad school in Vienna do the right thing by Samuel and Benjamin and let my two little boys enjoy their birthday party in the presence of their mother.
Thank you.
Beth