Why do good people do evil things in divorce cases? A lesson from Shlomo HaMelech

Dear Rabbi Eidensohn,

In several divorce case that you have covered, there has been some serious unbecoming behavior that some of the divorcing parties have perpetrated. To those of us who have had interactions with these people, it often does not make any sense. People who generally act with kindness, consideration and fairness act in self-centered and mean-spirited ways. How does this come about? How do good people go so wrong? The Gemara relates, that the stories mentioned in Tanach are instructive to each and every generation. While there were many more stories and prophecies that were not recorded in Tanach, only those that are relevant to all generation were transcribed. We may find an interesting answer there.

King Solomon was only twelve years old when he succeeded his father as the king of Israel. At that point, Hashem appeared to him in a dream and gave him a blank check offer. Hashem told Shlomo Hamelech that he can have whatever he would like. With awareness and recognition of his youthfulness and inexperience, Shlomo asked Hashem to provide him with the wisdom to be able to understand how to properly lead the Jewish people. More importantly, he asked for the wisdom to be able to properly differentiate between right and wrong. Being that Shlomo’s request was completely selfless, Hashem told Shlomo that He will give him the wisdom to be the wisest man ever – in addition to other gifts.

Immediately thereafter, the young Shlomo was put to the test. The Radak explains that the case that he was asked to rule upon was to show all of us his great wisdom. Indeed, the whole nation was watching him and eyeing this case to see Shlomo’s ability to rule. There were two single mothers who shared a room. Both had given birth to baby boys. However, unfortunately, during the third night one baby died beside her mother. Sad, upset, hurt and distraught at having lost her precious child, she quietly switched her dead child with her roommate’s sleeping child. She intended to raise this child as her own. She was going to shower the baby with love, warmth and motherly care. When her roommate awoke to take care of her baby, she saw the other mother's dead child beside her. She immediately realized that this was not her child! Her child was alive and well at the other side of the room. Naturally, a custody battle ensued. They took their battle to King Solomon. The nation would now witness Shlomo Hamelech’s – the wisest of all men – wisdom.

Listening to both mothers, Shlomo wisely declared that “We must split it evenly. Cut up both children – the one who and the one was alive! - in half!” It worked! The mother of the dead child agreed to cut both children up. However, the mother of the living child begged Shlomo to keep her child alive. She would rather her child live, even with a woman who had kidnapped him, rather than her child being killed. It now became obvious who the rightful mother was. It was self-understood to all observers that the real mother was the one who wanted to keep her child alive.

The Novie relates that now, through his ruse and ruling, the whole nation saw Shlomo Hamelech’s amazing wisdom.

In one of his famously inspiring shmoozen, Rav Chaim Shmulevitz asked: “Shlomo! How did you know?! How did you know that this woman would be willing to cause the murder of this child – a child she wanted to raise as her own? Just because she was willing to kidnap this child should not mean that she was willing to murder the child! Had your ruse not worked, you would have looked childish and foolish.”

It is apparent that the reasoning in this case is one that is applicable to people in all generations – otherwise it would not have been transcribed.

Obviously, Shlomo Hamelech in his great wisdom understood with absolute certainty, that once a person is willing to wrongfully take a child away from their parent – even if it is to satisfy a deep emotional hurt – at that point, they have become willing to murder the child. Indeed, depriving a child from their parent is emotional destruction of the child.

Yes, there may be organizations, movements and good friends who may encourage divorcing parents to use their children as leverage, as a weapon of war and deny their children their other parent. It may be bring about interesting results.The downside is, that at that point they have become willing to completely destroy their child. They have chosen the other objective over the well-being of their child. This may very well be the underlying cause of how good people fall into behaving so wrongly in divorces.

The unpleasant details of how Tamar Epstein destroyed her marriage with the encouragement of the Kaminetskys (part 3)

How Rabbi Schachter’s conferring papal infallibility upon Rabbi Kamenetsky led Rabbi Kamenetsky to believe he could annul a marriage: Part 3

The terrible travesty of justice in this case is not just that Tamar decided to have custody litigated in court instead of in Beis Din – although this decision by itself is extremely troubling and contrary to halacha. The terrible travesty in this case is that the destruction of a family with a young child could have been avoided. And even if divorce was going to occur, it could have been settled amicably and quietly. 

Instead of pursuing either of these two outcomes, the Kamenetskys encouraged the Epstein family to engage in no-holds barred warfare against Aharon, the Baltimore Beis Din, and even the very notion of halacha, and a Jewish community. This has included kidnapping the parties’ child and then getting that kidnapping to be treated as a fait accompli by violating several agreements between the parties, tricking Aharon into canceling a pendete lite civil court trial in which it was likely that the child would be returned in order to bring the case to Beis Din, committing perjury in court and the Baltimore Beis Din, violating the Baltimore Beis Din’s orders regarding dismissing the civil court case, and then successfully arguing in civil court that Aharon couldn’t contest the kidnapping because he had voluntarily cancelled the pendete lite trial to bring the case to Beis Din. 

There is no low to which this campaign would not stoop or any level of crime in which they would not engage, including a vicious Tisha Ba’av assault (in which Cheryl Epstein [Tamar’s mother] signaled her henchmen to attack by telling the child to give Aharon a kiss) that endangered the life of the child and constituted Federal capital crimes, and a capital crime under halacha.  Instead of protesting against the Kamenetskys’ horrible abuses, other rabbis [with the notable exception of Rabbis Eidensohn] were generally silent or cheered them on, with Rabbi Schachter bestowing Rabbi Kamenetsky with papal infallibility.

Parts 1 and 2 described what happened before 2010.

http://www.daattorah.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-unpleasant-details-of-how-tamar.html

http://daattorah.blogspot.com/2016/02/the-unpleasant-details-of-how-tamar.html

The following describes what happened next:

Tamar again filed for absolute divorce and obtained a divorce on April 12, 2010, pursuant to Maryland’s no-fault divorce law.

The Baltimore Beis Din refused demands by Tamar and the Kamenetskys that the Beis Din order that a get be given.  The Beis Din had held several hearings with the participation of both parties and ruled that there was no obligation to give a get. 

In an attempt to override the Baltimore Beis Din, on May 12, 2010, Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky wrote a public letter purporting to rule that Tamar is an agunah, and urging the public to pressure Aharon.  It has been reported in both the secular and mainstream media that Rabbi Kamenetsky has longstanding financial and personal ties to Tamar’s family.  [http://articles.philly.com/2010-04-20/news/25213049_1_family-physician-geriatric-medicine-future-wife  “Dr. Epstein [Tamar’s father] was an active supporter of Talmudical Yeshiva of Philadelphia, a religious school for Orthodox Jewish boys and young men in Overbrook. He volunteered his medical services to the school and was on call to care for the students 24/7, said a close friend, Rick Goldfein [Tamar’s lawyer].”  Rabbi Kamenetsky is founder and dean of the school. "Dr. Dovid Epstein, z’l," Yated Ne’eman, May 4, 21012 (noting how close Dr. Epstein was to Rabbi Kamenetsky and featuring a picture of the two, and Dr. Epstein’s involvement in the Philadelphia Orthodox community). The letter was written on the letterhead of the Philadelphia yeshiva of which Rabbi Kametesky serves as rosh yeshiva. 

This letter by Rabbi Kamenetsky was an outrageous attack on the legitimacy of Beis Din.  The letter by Rabbi Kamenetsky was a clear declaration that very wealthy families who are significant financial contributors to yeshivos and other community organizations have a right to get the rabbis to whom the wealthy families contribute money to override any Beis Din decision if the wealthy family doesn’t like the way that the Beis Din rules.

In June 2010, the Washington Beis Din sent another hazmana [summons] to Aharon, claiming that because Tamar had shown them a copy of a civil divorce decree and court ordered financial settlements and custody arrangements [making most of C’s time with Aharon impossible because of Shabbos] that the Washington Beis Din claimed “seem prima facie to be in line with common divorce settlements” thus indicating that the “court has settled all issues” and that Aharon had refused to give a get, the Washington Beis Din would be “forced to publicize [Aharon’s] wrongdoing” unless Aharon appears before the Washington Beis Din and proves (1) the court documents to be invalid, (2) that a get was given or (3) a “grievously extraordinary reason” that would justify Aharon’s action.   The letter was signed by Rabbis Winter and Klavan.

In August 2010, Rabbi Kamenetsky wrote another letter purporting to rule that Tamar is an agunah and urging the public to put pressure against not only Aharon, but also his family.  The letter was written on the letterhead of the Philadelphia yeshiva.

In August 2010 the ORA organization, of which Rabbi Hershel Schachter serves as posek, publicly denounced Aharon, even before trying to contact him to obtain his side of the story – contrary to ORA’s claim that it attempts to obtain information from both sides before publicly intervening against one party.  ORA publicly distributed defamatory letters with Aharon’s picture and that of his mother and uncle.  They demonstrated against Aharon’s mother, his uncle, and the shul of which Aharon’s uncle is rav.  The demonstrations continued for several years, and included a physical assault against a family member of Aharon.  These attacks against Aharon and his family directly contradict statements by ORA and Rabbi Schachter that action can only be taken with regard to a get pursuant to a ruling of a beis din.

In August 2010, Rabbi Dovid Rosenbaum, who became rabbi of the Young Israel of Greater Washington upon the passing of Rabbi Gedaliah Anemer, told Aharon that he was forbidden from getting an aliyah in shul.

In September 2010, the Washington Beis Din ruled that it had no right to get involved in the case, as Aharon had argued to the Washington Beis Din.

On November 18, 2010, Tamar filed a contempt motion against Aharon in Court, demanding that C’s relationship with Aharon be limited to “supervised visits” – that is, C could not be alone with Aharon.  Tamar alleged that she had used tracking devices [hidden, amongst other places, in C’s diaper wipes and stuffed teddy bear] to prove that Aharon and C were outside the vicinity of her house. Aharon then filed a contempt motion alleging that Tamar had repeatedly refused to let C be with him during times they were to be together under the Order and asking that the Order be modified to remove the vicinity restriction. Aharon argued that Tamar and her family had made the Philadelphia area dangerous for Aharon and C to spend time in.  Tamar argued that the vicinity restriction should stay in place, and denied that there was any danger to Aharon or C.

On December 9, 2010, Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky wrote another public letter attacking Aharon and claiming that Aharon is “mechuyav” [obligated] to give a get, and also noting with approval a public demonstration against Aharon, scheduled for December 19, 2010.  The letter was written on the letterhead of the Philadelphia yeshiva.  Rabbi Schachter added his signature to this letter.

On December 17, 2010, the Washington Vaad released a public letter: “We, the members of the Rabbinical Council of Greater Washington, are fully cognizant and aware of the communal concern and polarization of opinions surrounding the dissolution of the marriage of Tamar Epstein and Aharon Friedman. While we truly empathize and understand the feelings on both sides we must follow the objectivity of Torah values and halakhic principles as our guide if we are not simply to react to the powerful emotions of the moment. These emotions, though legitimate, may or may not lead us in the proper direction, while halakhah can always serve as our roadmap in times of trouble.” The letter acknowledged that “First, at this time there is no Bet Din order for Mr. Friedman to give a get. Second, there is no Bet Din statement indicating a refusal to comply with a Bet Din’s order to give a get (a siruv) that exists at this time. …” 

Later that afternoon, a group deeming itself “Concerned Members of the Greater Washington Jewish Community,” including the leaders of the Orthodox Union’s Washington D.C. office, responded to the Washington Vaad’s letter by supporting the ORA rally, and demanding that the Washington Vaad backtrack from its position and pressure Aharon to immediately give a get.

On December 22, 2010, the Baltimore Beis Din stated in the Washington Jewish Week: ”Currently, the Epstein-Friedman case remains open but dormant, as “neither party has approached” the Baltimore beit din, requesting that it reconvene, according to Rabbi Mordechai Shuchatowitz, a rabbi on the court. “Right now,” he said, “the ball is in [Epstein’s] court” because, as the party seeking the get, she is responsible for reinitiating proceedings. Since the court has yet officially to order a get, Shuchatowitz said, it’s “a bit premature” to be holding rallies and other events meant “to pressure [Friedman] because he’s not been given his day in court.” After all, “you can’t disobey something you’ve not been told to do.”

The Baltimore Beis Din made this statement based on its understanding of the case at the time.  This was even though Tamar’s to’ain Goldfein had repeatedly and successfully lied to the Baltimore Beis Din and fooled them about the circumstances under which Tamar had violated the Beis Din’s order regarding dismissing the case from civil court.  The Baltimore Beis Din would later issue a letter apologizing to Aharon regarding the Baltimore Beis Din’s misunderstanding regarding what happened in civil court.  But it is important to note that even with that misunderstanding, the Baltimore Beis Din’s position all along was that it was wrong to demonstrate against Aharon and that the ball was in Tamar’s court if she wanted a get.

On December 23, 2010, ORA responded by circulating a letter written by its posek, Rabbi Hershel Schachter, claiming that because Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky had purported to rule that Tamar was an agunah and that Aharon was obligated to give a get, the fact that no beis din had issued any such ruling was irrelevant.  Rabbi Schachter wrote that Aharon must be pressured to give a get because Rabbi Kamenetsky had said so.  Rabbi Schachter explained that the basis of his ruling to follow Rabbi Kamenetsky was “sod hashem le’ruv” and “kvar horah zaken,” essentially meaning that Rabbi Kamenetsky’s word must be treated as the word of G-d.  Rabbi Schachter wrote that Aharon's situation is the same as "a slave whose master provides for him a Canaanite maidservant, that until now it is has been permissible, and now it is forbidden" who should be beaten until death. Furthermore, Rabbi Schachter specifically wrote that any person can take the law into his own hands to beat Aharon to death. 

Rabbi Schachter's actions in the case so directly contradict his earlier statement on the halachic aspects of these matters that it almost appears as if his earlier statement was specifically intended to protest against the very actions in which Rabbi Schachter himself and ORA would later engage.

“What is important to keep in mind is that whoever is chalashing for [wants]... a get must consult with rabbonim... with respect to issues of pressuring the other to give the get. You have to go to batai dinim and everything has to be done with a legitimate beis din. Sometimes people will go to criminals. Unfortunately there are criminals in every field. There are rabbis that are criminals also. Unfortunately, the husband or the wife will go to a Beis Din that has an awful reputation, and they will recommend things that are against halacha. You have to go to a reputable Beis Din and the Beis Din should give proper advice....

The Batai Dinim have a special obligation, the role of the Beis Din b'zman haze, is to maintain law and order. That people shouldn’t skin each other alive and that people should act decently towards each other.”

https://web.archive.org/web/20131007060705/http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/739308/Rabbi_Hershel_Schachter/Options_for_Helping_Agunot - at about 38 minutes in.

This letter from Rabbi Schachter and intense intimidation from the Kamenetskys and others was successful in silencing the Baltimore Beis Din.  For many years, they were too afraid to again publicly defend Aharon even though their position was that demonstrations against him were wrong.  The Baltimore Beis Din explained that the Kamenetskys and the other rabbis attacking Aharon were in another league, and that therefore the Beis Din would not publicly contest them.

However, to their great credit the Baltimore Beis Din refused to be bullied by the Kamenetskys into issuing any ruling of any sort against Aharon that the Beis Din knew would be without any halachic basis whatsoever, such as ordering that a get be given.

As Tamar, her family, Frederic Goldfein and the Kametnetskys could not bully either the Baltimore Beis Din or the Washington Beis Din to do as they demanded, that is issue a ruling against Aharon that would have been without any basis, they shopped around for yet another beis din to intervene.  In January 2011, Tamar asked the Beis Din of America (BDA) to issue a hazmana [summons] to Aharon.  Rabbi Weissmann, the administrator of the BDA called the Baltimore BD, which told Rabbi Weissmann that the parties had signed a shtar beirurim with the Baltimore BD.  The BDA concluded that it had no right to intervene in the case and refused to issue a hazmana to Aharon.

It is not known how many other batai din Tamar, Goldfein and the Kamenetskys shopped around. 

In February 2011, Tamar’s lawyer and to’ain, Frederic Goldfein asked the criminal Rabbi Mordechai Martin Wolmark to get involved in the case – according to Goldfein’s testimony at the Mendel Epstein trial in Federal district court in Trenton.  Goldfein was forced to testify when he was given immunity.  The United States Justice Department had declared in a court affidavit that if Goldfein was not given immunity he would likely invoke his Fifth Amendment right against seld-incrimination and refuse to testify.

According to Goldfein’s testimony, Goldfein and Cheryl Epstein (Tamar’s mother) met with Wolmark in February 2011.  According to Goldfein’s testimony, Goldfein and Wolmark exchanged dozens of emails.

According to Goldfein’s testimony, in June 2011, Wolmark arranged for a criminal enterprise, known as the Agudas Harabanim,  to issue a so-called hasra’a achrona [final warning] to Aharon, ruling that Tamar was an agunah.

Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky at Project Inspire Feb 27

Attempted abduction case in Brooklyn falls apart after suspect, a man from a prominent Orthodox family, comes forward - Sex abuse is only a crime for non-Jewish assailants

NY Daily News     An investigation into an attempted abduction of a 14-year-old girl in Brooklyn fell apart after it was learned that the suspect comes from a prominent Orthodox family, law enforcement sources said Wednesday.

The suspect, a 20-year-old Orthodox man, showed up at the 61st Precinct with his attorney Tuesday — a day after the NYPD released an enhanced photo of him as a suspect in the crime.

But when investigators contacted the victim after the suspect came forward the family "stopped cooperating with the cops," a police source said.

A source with knowledge of the investigation said the girl changed her mind about talking to authorities after receiving pressure from the community.

The suspect's father is the principal of a yeshiva and his grandfather is an "influential rabbi," the source said.

The victim was with her mother when the suspect — initially described as a white or Hispanic man — approached her on E. 7th St. in Midwood about 4:30 p.m. Feb. 16.

"Come here," the man demanded of the teen.

When the girl refused, he grabbed her by the shoulder and wouldn't let go until the victim's former teacher intervened, officials said.

"The case and the investigation is closed," an NYPD spokesman said Wednesday. "No one is charged." [...]

Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblatt voluntarily steps down as community rabbi

Times of Israel     Following a tumultuous year of sexual misconduct allegations and a community effort to bring about his ouster, Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblatt told his New York synagogue Wednesday that he would step down as community rabbi. 

The decision was announced in a letter sent to the members of the Riverdale Jewish Center by its president, Samson Fine. 

“Rabbi Rosenblatt has today informed RJC’s leadership that he intends to step aside from the Senior Rabbinate of the RJC,” the email read. “The Shul’s Board of Trustees was informed at this evening Board meeting and we anticipate discussing transition details the Board in the next two weeks.”

The Riverdale Jewish Center had decided to keep Rosenblatt in place despite protests over reports of sauna chats with naked boys revealed in an exposé in The New York Times in May 2014.

Rosenblatt, who denied any criminal wrongdoing but apologized for inappropriate behavior, had been fighting efforts by some in his Orthodox congregation to buy out the remaining three years on his contract.

Despite the controversy stirred by the article about Rosenblatt’s practice for years of inviting teenage boys and young men for naked heart-to-hearts in the sauna after racquetball games, he retained the support of community leaders. [...]

Rosenblatt’s determination to stay was bolstered by the warm reception he received after a dramatic public apology in front of hundreds of congregants at a synagogue gathering in late June 2015.

“This is a crisis created by my own lapses of judgment,” Rosenblatt said, according to a recording of the speech transcribed by a synagogue member and cited in the Times. “I have brought pain to people, shame to my family and I have caused a desecration of the divine name.” [...]

The real ‘Mandate’ of Rav Dovid Feinstein and the Gedolim (Agudah)

guest post

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SAVING YIDDISHKEIT

The real ‘Mandate’ of Rav Dovid Feinstein and the Gedolim (Agudah)

PS. WE CAN SAVE OURSELVES!

If the situation were only as severe, as twisted as Rabbi Eidensohn reports, that Rabbi Dovid Feinstein may rule that there is sufficient halachic basis to allow the Greenblatt/Kaminetsky heter, regardless if the heter is true, due to his mandate to save RSK’s reputation. This is mere political corruption. 

However, I have credible information regarding the ‘Mandate’ that posits another motivation, one that reveals the disrespect, disregard, and I dare say disdain the American Gedolim have for their flock, the people. My sources report that the real ‘mandate’ is to save Yiddishkeit! R' Dovid and the Gedolim (Agudah) believe that we, the people, cannot handle the truth that a Gadol Yisroel has failed, has made a mistake, is not infallible. In plain words, they think that we are no better than brainwashed cult followers, robots, mindless followers who would leave Hashem, leave Yiddishkeit, because of mistaken or corrupt Gedolim. This is a canard, in essence, a motzi sham ra against klal Yisroel.

The following is a vort regarding the following verse from Shir HaYam, “This is my G-d and I will beautify Him, the G-d of my fathers and I will exult Him.” I was fortunate to learn this when my children were very young; I drilled this into their hearts and minds. “This is my G-d” refers to the chozrim b'teshuvah. They find Hashem, in essence, immediately; their challenge is to come to the mesora, the “G-d of my fathers”, to come face to face with the likes of Yehuda HaNasi, the Rambam, the Chofetz Chaim, and this struggle is the work of a lifetime. Conversely, the FFB was given the “G-d of my fathers” as an inheritance; their challenge is to come to a true revelation that, “This is my G-d”, and they face a lifelong struggle to see that their Avoda Hashem not become stale and rote. This vort is drash; pshat is that BT’s and FFB’s face both challenges. All Jews strive to know Hashem and His Torah, to beautify and exalt Him, regardless of the perfection or imperfection of their leaders. As Rabbi Avigdor Miller, zt’l, pointed out, ‘Gedolim come and go’.

The Maskilim, Reformists, Bundists, and Zionists destroyed European Jewry spiritually before WW2. A few embers, a few Great Men, were plucked from the flames that engulfed our People during the War, including the fathers of Rabbis Dovid Feinstein and Shmuel Kaminetsky. These men were able to rebuild Yiddishkeit in America and Eretz Yisroel due to the fact that they would not sacrifice or compromise emmes. Also, the great majority of frum Yidden would not compromise. The children and grandchildren from that generation are demanding higher standards of kashrus, seeking higher standards of Torah study, etc. 

R’ Shmuel Kaminetsky, just by admitting that he was mistaken, can rise to be the Rabbenu Yona of our Generation.  

R’ Dovid, Gedolim (Agudah), your flock is strong. All we want is that you...; no, we demand the emmes!

Rav Yitzchok Isaac Sher: the Importance, nature and holiness of sexual relations

Kuntres Kedushas Yisroel (Introduction): The Ravad wrote in Baal Nefesh at the beginng of Sha'ar HaKedusha, "I wish to write at length and in detail in this section because there is benefit in being expansive. That is because in these matters the majority of people err in their understanding and therefore make mistakes in what they do. Therefore I saw fit to expound on this topic until it becomes simple and clearly understood to all those who are interested."

We see that this genuinely pious person (Ravad) said that he knows that in these matters most people err. Because he is concerned about these people, he wanted to teach them the proper understanding to deal with these matters and the proper conduct to lead a proper life. However in our lowly times, it seems to me the G-d fearing scholars do not know these matters and there are many talmidei chachomim who simply rely on their knowledge based on studying this Sha'aar HaKedusha of the Ravad. However the truth is that the Sha'ar HaKedusha is a closed document for people like us and is not properly understood. The Ravad with his deep understanding thought that his brief words were sufficiently clear for proper understanding and he even apologized in his introduction for being so expansive in this matter. He did this so that what he wrote should be simple and understandable to all those who studied it. However for those who don't have extensive knowledge, these words are often merely unclear allusions which require much elaborations and explanations in order to understand their profoundity properly

After the Ravad (1125-1198) we merited to have the Igros Kodesh attributed to the Ramban (1194-1270). Even though the Ramban saw the words of the Ravad, he nevertheless decided it would be proper to expand the material into 6 chapters. He explained the material in an impressive manner with principles and detail as to what to do. However due to our poor comprehension even the Ramban’s expansions are too terse and they themselves now need to be expanded and clarified. I will try with G-d’s help to explain the depth of his words and remove the difficulties to those who study them that prevent proper understanding.

In the first chapter I will discuss the topic in general – that these issues determine the sanctity of the Chosen Jewish People and whether they are able to be holy to G-d as the Torah says, “You should sanctify yourselves and be holy because I the L-rd am holy. Just as He is holy so should you be holy. Given that the material that man is made of and his nature are the causes of being good or bad based on his temperment and this is determined by the nature of the drop from which he developed – it follows that sexual intercourse of a man and woman is the cause of the holiness of the Jewish people and the holiness of G-d or mundaneness according to the children that are born since they constitute the nation. Therefore we are commanded to sanctify ourselves at the time of intercourse since that is the cause of giving birth to tzadikim who sanctify G-d’s name or evil people who profane G-d’s name. Therefore it is a holy obligation to know what is this sanctification. In explaining this holiness there are five aspects which are explained in these chapters – the nature of intercourse, the appropriate time, the food that is appropriate to eat, the intent and motivation for intercourse and the quality of intercourse. [to be continued]

Vaccination is unquestionably a parental responsiblity: Review article by Rav Bleich

 Rabbi  J. David Bleich Survey of Recent Halakhic Periodical Liturature  Tradition Summer 2015 p55

[...]

Childhood vaccinations are not accompanied by any significant danger. Despite widespread belief to the contrary, autism is not at all associated with M.M.R. inoculation. That misinformation gained currency and became widespread because of a spurious article based upon fraudulent research that appeared in a British medical journal. The principal author's malfeasance was subsequently exposed and his license to practice medicine was revoked. Possible connections between autism and M.M.R vaccine were rigorously investigated and in 2004, in a publication entitled "Immunization Safety Review: Vaccines and Autism," the Institute of Medicine reported that epidemiological evidence failed to establish a causal relationship. Other dangers attendant upon various forms of inoculation are infinitesimal.28 The dangers that do exist are well within the parameters of shomer peta'im as defined by Binyan Zion. For Shem Aryeh and Imrei Shefer they are far below the threshold level requiring even invocation of shomer peta'im. 

Even assuming a higher degree of danger, as earlier argued, a parent is nevertheless charged with assumption of a minimal danger on behalf of a child in order to ward off more serious danger, as evidenced by a father's obligation to teach his sons to swim. 

Nor can the principle of shomer peta'im be invoked to justify assumption of a recognized danger that can be readily averted. That is clearly the import of the statement of R. Moshe Feinstein, Iggerot Moshch, Even ha-Ezer, IV, no. 10, to the effect that, with the development of blood tests to determine whether prospective marriage partners are both carriers of the gene responsible for Tay-Sachs disease, one may no longer rely upon shomer peta'im in assuming the risk of that disease. For precisely the same reason, a danger posed by childhood disease tor which a vaccine is available may not be assumed on the plea of shomer peta'im. That is certainly the import of the statement attributed to the late R. Yosef Shalom Eliashiv to the effect that "failure to immunize would amount to ncgligence.” 29

Perfection of vaccines that immunize against disease results in a situation in which failure to vaccinate is tantamount to willfully exposing oneself to Zi1'liWI ptihim, Once divine providence has made a vaccine safely available, any misfortune resulting from failing to avail oneself of immunization is to be attributed to human negligence rather than to divine decree. Exposure to the disease without immunization is equivalent to exposure to the elements without protection. Allowing a child to be exposed to the ravages of communicable disease is no different from exposing the child to zinim pahim. Any resultant harm is not at the hands of Heaven but is derekh ikesh which the parent bears full responsibility. […]

Vaccination of one's children is unquestionably a parental responsibility." Education of parents in their halakhic responsibilities in light of the overwhelming benefits of vaccination and their resultant voluntary compliance would entirely obviate the quandary forced upon dedicated and well-meaning educators.

28 See the website tor the Center for Disease Control, www.cdc.gov. See also, Alice Park, "How Safe Are Vaccines?" Time Magazine ,inc, June 2, 2008.

29 See Akiva Tatz, Dangerous Disease & Dangerous Therapy in Jewish Medical Ethics, (Southfield, Michigan, 2010), p. 48.

Skulener Rebbe: Consequences of avoiding sex education with bachruim

  Skulener Rebbe Speaks Out

Rabbi Daniel Travis regarding Mishlei 5:19 and Rav Sternbuch's view on Planet X and Moshiach

A yeshiva bachur comments about public discussions of sexuality

Guest post by a Yeshiva Bachur

Relevant to whether these sorts of topics should be discussed publically is the following medrash rabba. 

It's in parshas tazria יט:ג

‎ר' שמואל בר יצחק פתר קריא בפרשיותיה של תורה אע"פ שנראות כאילו הן כעורות ושחורות לאומרן ברבים כגון הלכות זיבה ונגעים נדה ויולדת אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא הרי הן עריבות עלי שנאמר (מלאכי ג) וערבה לה' מנחת יהודה וירושלים וגו' תדע לך שהוא כן שהרי פרשת זב וזבה לא נאמרו כאחת אלא זו בפני עצמה וזו בפ"ע איש איש כי יהיה זב מבשרו ואשה כי יזוב זוב דמה וגו':

This seems to clearly be saying that the attitude of hush hush that we usually have towards these types of "untzniyus" halachos is in fact wrong and just the opposite hashem finds our learning of them most pleasing. So much so that instead of having them all together in the torah he split them up so they'd get "maximum exposure". This reminds me of the gemaras in brachos that say similarly תורה היא וללמוד אני צורך.

So whether or not the a blog is an appropriate place for discussion of these types of issues is a question to debate, but the reaction of some people that these things should only be learnt privately or one on one or with a rav/chassan teacher etc. does not seem to be the approach of chazal.

(Full disclosure I myself am a bachur in yeshiva, but while we wouldn't regularly come across such explicit stuff like what you posted anyone who learns mishnah berurah will eventually get to siman reish mem and anyone who learns Gemara will learn many similar gemaras like the one in shabbos which is probably more explicit than what you posted. And this is besides for what one picks up from just growing up in today's world unless you live in an extremely sheltered community but even there I can tell you many times the parents and rebbeim are living in denial about what their children know. The point is that today if everywhere around we are exposed to these things but when it comes to Torah we suppress them and refuse to talk it sends very bad signals to talmidim. My rebbeim never shied away from discussing these things with us and and one rebbe who I am very close with once told a group of first year bachurim when discussing a similar topic this exact idea."

And I can tell you from personal experience from learning with younger bachurim still in mesivta that not having rebbeim that will talk about these topics with them can have negative consequences.)

Kol tuv and zai gezunt

Scientist who won’t divorce wife fired from university post

Times of Israel

A scientist who has for years been refusing to divorce his wife was fired from his position at Bar Ilan University over the weekend, after a Jerusalem rabbinical court excommunicated the man and ordered the publication of his name, photo and personal details. 

The Rabbinical High Court of Appeals last week issued a herem – a writ of banishment — against Oded Guez, a physicist at Bar Ilan University, because he had refused to give his wife a divorce, the Ynet news website reported Friday. 

The university said Guez had already been suspended from working at the institute’s physics department a year ago, Haaretz reported. [...]

Suspected cult of Aharon Ramati - which preys on young religious women - re-emerges

update:After talking with people with connections to chinuch in Israel, it is clear that the school is considered a cult and is not an accepted part of Orthodox education. The facts presented by the newpapers was confirmed as accurate.


ynet   Beleaguered families of women who follow rabbi Aharon Ramati find their daughters trapped inside a seminary where they live in squalid conditions. Since all participants are adults, the state currently has little power to intervene

One person who joined the fight in helping the families in their struggle against the seminaryis MK Aliza Lavie (Yesh Atid). She met with parents and appealed to the Ministry of Health to examine the conditions in which the daughters live .

"From the moment I discovered what was going on at the Be’er Miriam (“Miriam’s Well”) seminary headed by Rabbi Aharon Ramati, who attracts many young women, I met many family members and I became aware of the size of the phenomenon," said MK Lavie. "I joined the struggle with the families who have daughters who study there."

"We brought about an investigation and the closure of the place, but unfortunately the activity has recently been started anew in another location. The sad thing is that years ago the senior rabbis - the late Rabbi Ovadia Yosef and Rabbi Shalom Elyashiv - called it a 'dangerous cult' and stated that 'the daughters of Israel must not study with him or go to his location, his branches, or any place under his instruction,' and called for the immediate closure of the institution. "

The Ramati affair exploded a year ago, after many parents filed complaints which suggested Ramati was running a cult. All those girls who came to his seminary came to learn with him, lost touch with families, and became more and more extreme. After examining what was going on, it was revealed that the girls live in a neglected apartment under austere and difficult conditions.

After receiving evidence of the cult, the Jerusalem Police raided Ramati’s apartment and seized computers and documents. Health Ministry officials arrived as well, confiscating edibles that were improperly stored. Ramati himself was arrested and spent several days in custody, and then released on house arrest, but not indicted. [...]

Tetzaveh; Why Is The Mizbeach Left Out by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

Guest post by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

All the way at the end of Parshas Tetzaveh, the Torah tells us about the Mizbeach Haketores.....

It wasn't included in Parshas Terumah, where we learn about all the other "keilim" in the Mishkon, and the Mishkon itself...

Parshas Tetzaveh begins with the "Bigdei Kehunah", then we have the karbanos of the "Miluim" and the Karbon Tamid,... 

Only after all that, for the last Parshah in Tetzaveh, does the Torah discuss the Mizbeach HaKetores....

The Ramban and The Sfornu explain....

For questions and comments please email salmahshleima@gmail.com

https://youtu.be/XM3lnK6WFv0