New York Times' "The Orthodox Sex Guru" - furthered an inaccurate stereotype that Orthodox Jews are clueless about reality

Times of Israel     Last week, the paper of record contained a 3,000 word profile piece on Bat Sheva Marcus “Orthodox Sex Guru” who feeds into the hands of the New York Times by furthering the ignorant stereotype of unworldly Orthodox Jews clueless in the bedroom.
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You don’t have to be a guru to recognize that rather than remaining in the dark ages as Marcus describes, in the last few years, Orthodoxy has been advancing in healthy sexual awareness, building on our rich treasure trove of holy traditions surrounding the spousal relationship. 

The Orthodox community in Israel is paving the way for healthy discourse and learning surrounding intimacy and sexuality. Where Dr. Marcus finds it challenging to gather a crowd for sexuality training course, we are seeing the opposite here in Israel.

In my work as an educator and therapist, I have found that the words ‘Orthodoxy’ and ‘Sex’ are not incongruous, but describe a fast growing and important area. There are a number of burgeoning organizations that offer training in the topic of intimacy to a variety of medical professionals, as well as kallah and chatan teachers.

In addition to numerous private practitioners, organizations like the Eden Center, Merkaz Yahel, the Puah Institute, and Nishmat’s Yoatzot Halacha Program, to name a few, are all doing pioneering work in expanding the healthy discussion surrounding intimacy and sexuality within the religious community in Israel.

In America steps are definitely being taken in this direction with pioneers taking the field in the form of religious and community leaders, among them; Drs. Scott and Rivky Chudnoff as well as Chani and Shmuel Maybruch. [...]

Royal Commission: Rabbi Gutnick shakes as he tells of phone call that he thought was a prank, a decision he ‘profoundly regrets’

The Guardian

Rabbi Moshe Gutnick, a senior judge of the Sydney Beth Din rabbinical court, now worked with victims of child sexual abuse and encouraged them to go to police without fear, he told the royal commission into institutional responses into child sex abuse on Wednesday.

Gutnick said he received the phone call in 1987, when he was a teacher at the orthodox Yeshivah Centre Bondi, and it was the first time he had heard of sexual abuse there.[...]

“I then subsequently forgot about the phone call because I thought it was nothing more than children playing a prank,” he told the commission.

Gutnick became emotional as he described how in 2011 a man asked to meet him. 

“This proved to be a life-changing experience,” Gutnick said before commissioner Justice Jennifer Coate.

“At my house the man asked me if I remembered receiving a phone call from a young boy in the 1980s, during which the young boy reported Gug for child sexual abuse. He told me that it was him, and that Gug had sexually abused him.

“I was shocked. It was the first time I had come face-to-face with a victim.”

Gutnick began to shake as he told the commission at Melbourne’s county court that after speaking to the victim he resolved to do everything in his power to make sure the voices of sex abuse victims were heard. [...]

Manny and Zephaniah Waks tell royal commission about sex abuse ordeal at Yeshivah Centre

abc

The only survivor of abuse within Melbourne's Jewish community to speak publicly, he has become a name synonymous with the fight against sexual abuse in the Jewish community worldwide.

However it has come with a cost.

Mr Waks has felt so ostracised by the ultra-orthodox Chabad Jewish community that he moved his family to France to start a new life.

Only days ago he returned to Australia to give evidence at the royal commission, as it hears for the first time allegations of abuse in Jewish institutions.

"You know on the plane ride on the way here I had to pinch myself to say, 'Wow, I'm actually coming to Australia because the royal commission is happening'," he said.

"I've literally been working towards this goal, even subconsciously, for decades."

Mr Waks, 39, was sexually abused by security guard David Cyprus at the Yeshivah Centre in Melbourne in the 1990s.

He reported the abuse to senior staff at the centre but he says nothing was done.

It was only years later, when he disclosed the abuse to his father Zephaniah, that they went to police.

"There is still a significant group of rabbis, mainly within the ultra-orthodox community, within the Yeshivah Chabad community, who would not support victims to go to the police," Mr Waks said.

"It causes untold damage.

"The reality is we don't even know how much damage it does because we don't know how many victims are out there thinking, 'I'd better not go because it causes all sorts of things'." [...]

In national abuse probe, leading Australian rabbi decries Orthodox community’s ‘cover-up culture’

JPOST

A senior Australian rabbi told a government commission of inquiry on Wednesday that the Jewish-Australian Orthodox community was guilty of covering up sex crimes against its members, going so far as to use intimidation to prevent people from coming forward.

In testimony before the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, Rabbi Moshe Gutnick, a senior Chabad leader in Sydney and the head of the Organization of Rabbis of Australasia, said that “a culture of cover-up, often couched in religious terms, pervaded our thinking and our actions.”

Gutnick asserted that those who reported abuse were labeled mosers (“informers”), and subjected to social ostracism, according to The Guardian.

Such actions are a “gross misuse of rabbinic power,” he said, adding that those who push for victims to go to their rabbis rather than the authorities are trying to “hush it up, to cover it up, to prevent the victim from finding redress. There is no doubt at all: Mesira [‘informing’] has no application whatsoever to instances of child sexual abuse. To use mesira in this way is an abomination.”[...]

Victim’s rights advocate Manny Waks, who was himself sexually abused as a student in a Chabad school, took to Facebook to praise Gutnick for his statement, which included an admission that he had been informed about allegations of abuse 20 years ago and had not followed up properly. [...]

Martin Wolmark's Plea Agreement in the Wolmark-Epstein Get torture case

 Wolmark Plea Details 
 

Mitochondrial Disease: Britain allows repairing embryo with DNA from 3rd party

BBC

MPs have voted in favour of the creation of babies with DNA from two women and one man, in a historic move.

The UK is now set to become the first country to introduce laws to allow the creation of babies from three people. 

In a free vote in the Commons, 382 MPs were in favour and 128 against the technique that stops genetic diseases being passed from mother to child. 

During the debate, ministers said the technique was "light at the end of a dark tunnel" for families.

A further vote is required in the House of Lords. It everything goes ahead then the first such baby could be born next year. 

Proponents said the backing was "good news for progressive medicine" but critics say they will continue to fight against the technique that they say raises too many ethical and safety concerns.

Estimates suggest 150 three-person babies could be born each year. 

Prime Minister David Cameron said: "We're not playing god here, we're just making sure that two parents who want a healthy baby can have one."

Life-saving The method, which was developed in Newcastle, should help women like Sharon Bernardi, from Sunderland, who lost all seven of her children to mitochondrial disease.

If wife went to secular court - husband does not need to deposit Get with beis din - unless he wants a Heter Meah Rabbonim

Rav Menashe Klein has a long teshuva (Misheh Halachos vol 14  1-11) where he states very clearly that a husband does not have to give his wife a get if she goes to secular court without the permission of beis din. He says this is the view of the majority of achronim - including the Maharsham (7:159) and Rav Moshe Feinstein. He also says that the husband does not need a heter meah rabbonim if his wife goes to secular court without permission - but that it is best for her sake to deposit a get with beis din because she might eventually withdraw from the secular court. None the less he notes it is the custom today to deposit a get with beis din when receiving a heter meah rabbonim [This is also the view of Rav Moshe Sternbuch (4:301)] Thus he claims the majority of achronim permit a man to remarry with a heter meah rabbonim if they deposit a get with beis din - to be given when the wife renounces the rulings of the secular court. If there is no heter meah rabbonim then there is no need to give a get. Thus there is no difference between the view of Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rav Moshe Sternbuch in this matter.  See the discussion in the comments to the post about Yoel Weiss

================================================

שו"ת משנה הלכות חלק יד סימן ז

עוד להנ"ל
אשה שהלכה לערכאות אי בעלה זקוק להיתר מאה רבנים, ולהשליש גט

ט) ולכן פשוט דאשה שהלכה בערכאות ועדיין עומדת במרדה בערכאות כל זמן שהיא עומדת בערכאות כתבו רבותינו האחרונים דאין צריך כלל להיתר מאה רבנים דעל כה"ג לא גזר מעולם רגמ"ה שלא יוכל הבעל לישא אשה ועם אשה זו אינו יכול לדור וגם אסור לו לדור עמה, שהרי כתב הרמב"ם (הנ"ל) שהיא גרוע מהעכו"ם ולכן ההיתר שנותנין לו הוא רק ליתר שאת ולהיות לו לכסות עינים בפני בנ"א שלא יראה כנושא שתי נשים, אבל מעצם דינא לא בעי היתר כלל וכ"כ הגאון הגדול המהרש"ם ז"ל (ח"ז סי' קנ"ט) שהאריך הרבה באשה שהלכה לערכאות כמה פעמים ומסרה את בעלה וכמה צרות והיתה מסרבת לבוא לב"ד ומסיק להתיר לבעלה לישא אשה בלי היתר מאה רבנים אלא שיעץ אותו הבעל שישא אעפ"כ רק בהיתר מאה רבנים ע"ש, וכ"כ האחרונים הלכה למעשה.

י) וכיון דלא צריך הבעל היתר מאה רבנים כ"ש דלא בעי להשליש גט בב"ד כיון דמעיקר דינא השלשת גט כמעט לא נזכר בראשונים אלא שהנוב"י (א"ע קמא סי' ג') כתב לא רצינו לבטל מנהג ראשונים כי אולי רגמ"ה התנה כך שלא יתירו רק בהשלשת הגט היכא דמתירין לגרש בע"כ (ועיין בי"ש וקצ"ע) ולא תקנו אלא היכא שהיא מסרבת לקבל גט שנמצא כמגרש בע"כ או שהיא חולה, אבל היכא דלא בעי היתר מאה רבנים לא בעי להשליש גט נמי לפי רוב האחרונים ז"ל וכמו שכתבנו לעיל בשם הגאון מהרש"ם זצ"ל וכ"כ הגרמ"פ זצ"ל.

ומ"מ לעצם הענין כיון דנוהגין כהיום ליתן היתר מאה רבנים מאן יקל ראשו להתיר בלי מאה רבנים וגם בלי להשליש גט יהיה מאיזה טעם שיהי', וכ"כ האחרונים הנ"ל דלכתחילה יש לקבל היתר של מאה רבנים אפי' בכה"ג. ולפענ"ד הוספתי דאפשר דכאן יש להשליש גט אפי' היכא דנושא בלי היתר מאה רבנים דהני תרי מילי נינהו ההיתר הוא שיוכל לישא וכיון שהוא מותר לישא בלי היתר א"כ ההיתר לא מעכב, ומיהו הגט שהיא לטובתה ואפשר שתתחרט ותחזור מהערכאות ותתרצה בדיני תורה ובגט ותקבל על עצמה דיני תורה, לכן יש לסדר גט בכל אופן ולהשליש.

Weiss files motion to dismiss Rivky's remaining claims because they are lies

Uziel Frankel

Update - see Weiss supplement to motion to dismiss Feb 11 2015

At this point Rivky has failed to produce evidence for any of her claims against her husband or his family. Most of the claims have beenr rejected by the courts. It has clearly been shown that her beis din is not an actual beis din and the seruv and the psak that were issued are not authentic.

 This document asserts bluntly that her claims are lies and provides evidence to support this claim. Furthermore it alleges that Uziel Frankel is the mastermind behind Rivky's campaign against Yoel Weiss and his family. 

Rivky's Face Book Picture

It is now up to the judge to decide whether to throw out Rivky Stein's case and thus vindicate Yoel or to accept the possiblity that the charges are valid and proceed with a trial.

This is the 6 page filing. It does not include the supporting documents which will be published later.



==========update Feb 3 ==
SEE Rav Menashe Klein's teshuva  that states the majority of achronim(including the Maharsham and  Rav Moshe Feinstein] pasken that if the wife goes to secular court without the permission of beis din - the husband does not need to deposit a get with beis din - unless he wants a heter meah rabbonim [as stated by Rav Moshe Sternbuch]. She only receives the get when she renounces all rulings of the secular court

 Weiss filing 

Tzohar Conference: What Happens to Sexually Active Orthodox Singles?

Forward    When it comes to singles and sex in the Jewish community, Orthodox spiritual leaders have a dilemma. They can pretend it’s not happening, or they can open a difficult dialogue with their constituents.

Last week, the Israeli rabbinic organization Tzohar attempted to address this issue in a groundbreaking conference, “In the First Person: Sexuality within the Family and Religious Society.” Tzohar trains rabbis to perform participant-friendly wedding ceremonies at no charge. Its female volunteers teach Jewish and secular brides the Jewish laws surrounding immersion in the mikveh (ritual bath) before and after marriage. The event was attended by the female volunteers, and the wives of Tzohar rabbis.

“Many singles today feel that it’s their right to express their sexuality,” said panelist Rabbanit Chana Henkin, director of the Nishmat seminary for women, calling sexuality among Orthodox singles the elephant in the room. “Despite our discomfort with the topic, educators and community leaders must be prepared to discuss these issues openly.”[...]

“The problem is only going to become more acute,” says Dr. Naomi Grumet of Jerusalem’s Eden Center, an initiative that hopes to “transform” the mikveh. “People have higher expectations and want to accomplish things, like travel and education, before they settle down. Also, when they have done these pursuits, they aren’t necessarily willing to come back and marry the boy or girl next door. It is likely to take more time to find someone.”

Like Henkin, Grumet doesn’t want to see sexually active singles ostracized. “Singles who are sexually active may feel they don’t have a place in the community. Yes, it’s happening, and it’s forbidden by Jewish law. But a lot of people transgress in other areas of religious practice, yet still feel welcome within the community.” [...]

Dozens arrested as Haredi protest arrest of yeshiva students who refused to enlist

YNET

Dozens were arrested Monday morning when hundreds of Haredi men protested across Israel, blocking roads in protest against the arrest of yeshiva students who had been classed as deserters after deliberately missing their IDF enlistment.

Demonstrations were held in Jerusalem, Ashdod, Hadera, on the outskirts of Bnei Brak, at the entrance to the religious community of El'ad and at Shiloh junction. [...]

The demonstration in the capital was attended by the Jerusalem branch, an extremist Lithuanian Haredi group, who held up signs reading, "Going to recruitment offices is entering enemy territory". A text message was sent to thousands of yeshiva students Monday morning saying, "those who have not yet been arrested must continue protesting – we cannot remain silent about the arrest of the yeshiva members".

Jury Selection Process Begins in Mendel Epstein Kidnap and Divorce Conspiracy Trial

Shore News Network    TRENTON-Today, the jury selection process began in the trial of  U.S. v. Epstein – Mendel Epstein, 68, of Lakewood, New Jersey, an orthodox Jewish rabbi charged with conspiring to kidnap and force Jewish men to grant their wives religious divorces; trial scheduled to start Feb. 17, 2015.

The hearing will be presided over by the honorable Judge Wolfson.

On May 22, 2014, A federal grand jury  indicted four Orthodox Jewish Rabbis and one of their sons for allegedly conspiring to kidnap and force Jewish men to grant their wives religious divorces, U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman announced.

The indictment charges all five men with kidnapping conspiracy and variously charges the defendants with specific instances of kidnapping and attempted kidnapping. Rabbis Mendel Epstein, Martin Wolmark, Jay Goldstein, a/k/a “Yaakov” and Binyamin Stimler had previously been charged, along with others, with conspiracy to commit kidnapping in a complaint unsealed Oct.10, 2013. Four of the others charged, including Jay Goldstein’s sons, Avrohom Goldstein, 34, and Moshe Goldstein, 31, both of Brooklyn, N.Y., have since pleaded guilty to extortion charges in connection with the case. The rest of the charges are pending.

David Epstein was previously charged with a 2009 kidnapping to compel a religious divorce, or get, in a complaint filed on May 15, 2014.

Rav Sternbuch's letter in response to the demonstration of the Sikrikim

לאחר תקופה ארוכה שגורמים ידועים משמיצים את ה"עדה החרדית" ואת מרן הראב"ד שליט"א העומד בראשה, בפרשיית פרויקט רמת אברהם במתחם שנלר, עד כדי הפגנת קומץ סיקריקים מתחת ביתו של מרן הראב"ד, וזאת בשל רצונם להעביר לרשות אתר"ק פיקוח מלא במתחם שנלר, כותב מרן הראב"ד שליט"א מכתב ברור בעניין.

"אודות האסיפה בענין מתחם שנלר, ישבנו בבית דין אור ליום ד' והחלטנו שצריך השגחה ומנינו הרב ליפשיץ נ"י כמשגיח לבד כשליח בית דין".

מרן הראב"ד מדגיש: "ויסכר פי דוברי שקר שמוציאים לעז שאני מתיר ח"ו לפגוע במקום".

מרן הראב"ד ממשיך בדבריו הנחרצים נגד מפיצי השמועות כי דעתו להתיר את המשך החפירות במתחם: "אני לא מוחל להם לעולם".

ומה שעשו למחרת בבוקר בלעדי לא נוגע לי כלל ונעשה שלא בנוכחתי.

והקב"ה יסיר כל לזות שפתיים וימהרו לחזור בתשובה"

Violent clash in Ponevezh Monday morning

Arutz 7   Student arrested for assaulting yeshiva dean, leading to all out clash between rival factions vying to control flagship Lithuanian yeshiva.

A violent clash occurred on Monday morning at the flagship Lithuanian-haredi Ponevezh Yeshiva in Bnei Brak, the largely haredi suburb of Tel Aviv, after the yeshiva's dean Rabbi Shmuel Markovich was assaulted by a member of an opposing faction who was later arrested.

The attack was reported by yeshiva students who witnessed it on Sunday night, and on Monday morning the student suspected of hitting the rabbi was arrested. He denied the charges, claiming that instead he was attacked by followers of Rabbi Markovich.

Following the incident, several other students were wounded as violence flared up between the two opposing factions, with witnesses saying that tear gas was even used in the confrontation. [...]

BHOL

פוניבז' בוערת: עשרות התפרעו, ראש ישיבה הוכה

הגר"ש מרקוביץ, ראש ישיבת פוניבז' מפלג 'המחבלים', הותקף • תלמידיו פרצו לפנימיית 'נווה שלום' של הפלג היריב

אלימות חסרת תקדים בישיבת פוניבז'. תלמידי הישיבה מפלג ה'מחבלים', פרצו לפנימיית ה'שונאים', לאחר שראש הישיבה, הגר"ש מרקוביץ הוכה.

אתמול ביקש הגר"ש מרקוביץ' מתלמידיו, פלג 'המחבלים' בישיבת פוניבז', לשוב ללימודיהם, אך למרות זאת הערב שוב פרצו מהומות במהלך תפילת ערבית.

כאשר בחורי 'המחבלים' ו'השונאים' נאבקו ביניהם מי יתפוס את עמוד התפילה. במקום החלה התפרעות והותז גז מדמיע.

בהמשך לכך, לפי טענת התלמידים, בעת שראש ישיבת פלג ה'מחבלים' הגר”ש מרקוביץ שוחח בלימוד עם עשרות מתלמידיו ברחבת הישיבה, ניגש אליו אחיינו הרב יוסי כהנמן, בנו של נשיא ישיבת פלג ה'שונאים' הגר”א כהנמן, ותקף אותו, במקום פרצה קטטה רבתי.  

Why do non-Orthodox rabbis marry Jewish same-sex couples but not interfaith same-sex couples

NY Times  When Julia Spiegelman and Erina Donnelly, two teachers who met as undergraduates at Bryn Mawr, became engaged, they were looking forward to planning a wedding that included elements from both of their religions.

Ms. Spiegelman grew up attending a Reform synagogue in Andover, Mass., and Ms. Donnelly was raised a Roman Catholic.

The two women attend Jewish and Catholic services together, and they had hoped to find marriage officiants from both religions, which they did not think would be difficult. Most non-Orthodox rabbis officiate same-sex weddings, and while they could not expect to find a Catholic priest to officiate, they planned to ask a layperson from Dignity/Boston, a community of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Catholics, to take part.

So one Sabbath morning, they approached the rabbi at their Boston-area synagogue, a liberal congregation unaffiliated with any particular branch of Judaism.

“We were really confident it was going to be this rabbi,” Ms. Spiegelman, 29, said, sitting in the condominium that she and her fiancée recently bought.

But the rabbi told them that she could not perform the wedding. The problem was not that Ms. Spiegelman wanted to marry a woman — it was that she wanted to marry a non-Jewish woman.

“In retrospect, I can’t believe we were so naïve and trusting,” Ms. Spiegelman said. “We were so excited to tell her we were engaged and wanted her to do our wedding, and she was like, ‘I don’t do that.’ ”

“That was a real blow to us,” she said as their cat, Laurie (named for the “Little Women” character), moved about the cozy living room. “We’d understood that she perceived our relationship as legitimate and would see our marriage as legitimate. And it really hurt us to be rejected for that reason.”

To many, the rabbi’s refusal seems paradoxical. If clergy can embrace same-sex marriage, why can’t they marry a Jew to a non-Jew? But for Jews, troubled by declining levels of affiliation, the concern about interfaith marriage is strong. A majority of Jews now marry outside the faith, and, according to the major 2013 Pew survey of Jewish identification, millennials with one Jewish parent are far less likely to consider themselves Jewish than those with two Jewish parents.[...]