Going to secular court: When and how? Does beis din need to give permission

This is a very important topic and keeps coming up. Would somebody like to do a guest post on the topic?

שו"ע חושן משפט כו

סעיף א

 אסור לדון בפני דייני עובדי כוכבים ובערכאות שלהם (פי' מושב

קבוע לשריהם לדון בו),  אפילו בדין שדנים בדיני ישראל, ואפילו נתרצו ב' בעלי דינים לדון בפניהם, אסור. וכל הבא לידון בפניהם, הרי זה רשע, וכאילו חרף וגדף והרים יד בתורת מרע"ה. הגה: ויש ביד בית דין לנדותו ולהחרימו עד שיסלק יד העובדי כוכבים מעל חבירו (מהרי"ק שורש קנ"ד). וכן היו מחרימין המחזיק ביד ההולך לפני עובדי כוכבים (ריב"ש סי' ק"ב). ואפילו אינו דן לפני עובדי כוכבים, ק שכופהו על ידי עובדי כוכבים שיעמוד עמו לדין ישראל, ראוי למתחו על העמוד (מרדכי פ' הגוזל קמא). וע"ל סימן שפ"ח. מי שהלך בערכאות של עובדי כוכבים ונתחייב בדיניהם, ואחר כך חזר ותבעו לפני דייני ישראל, יש אומרים שאין נזקקין לו (מהרי"ק שורש קפ"ח /קפ"ז/); ויש אומרים דנזקקין לו (מרדכי בפ' הגוזל בתרא), אם לא שגרם הפסד לבעל דינו לפני עובדי כוכבים (מהר"מ מירזברק). והסברא ראשונה נראה לי עיקר.

סעיף ב

 היתה יד עובדי כוכבים תקיפה, ובעל דינו אלם, ואינו יכול להציל ממנו בדייני ישראל, יתבענו לדייני ישראל תחלה; אם לא רצה לבא, נוטל רשות מבית דין ומציל בדייני עובד כוכבים מיד בעל דינו. הגה: ויש רשות לבית דין לילך לפני עובדי כוכבים ולהעיד שזה חייב לזה (בה"ת בשם ר' שרירא). וכל זה דווקא כשאינו רוצה להיות ציית דין, אבל בלאו הכי אסור לבית דין להרשות לדון לפני עובדי כוכבים (מהרי"ק שורש א').

סעיף ג

 המקבל עליו בקנין לידון עם חבירו לפני עובדי כוכבים, אינו כלום, ואסור לידון בפניהם.  ואם קבל עליו שאם לא ילך בפניהם יהיה עליו כך וכך לעניים, אסור לילך לדון עמו לפני עובדי כוכבים  וחייב ליתן מה שקיבל עליו לעניים. ויש מי שאומר שאין בית דין מוציאין ממנו, אלא מודיעין אותו שחל הנדר עליו.

סעיף ד

 שטר שכתוב שיוכל לתבעו בדיני העו"ג, אינו רשאי לתבעו בפניהם. ואם מסר השטר לעובד כוכבים שיתבענו בדיניהם, חייב לשלם לו כל מה שהפסיד יותר ממה שהוא חייב בדיני ישראל. הגה: וכל זה שיכול לכופו בדין ישראל, אבל אם הלוה אלם, מותר למסרו לעובדי כוכבים (ב"י ס"ו בשם הריטב"א). וע"ל סוף סי' שס"ט (הרא"ש בתשובה כלל י"ח סי' א'). מדין עובד כוכבים המוכר שטר חוב לישראל על ישראל אחר, אם דן הוא בדין עובדי כוכבים.

Mendel Epstein's son arrested in new case: Stun guns used to force Divorce

Asbury Park Press    Two men were arrested at their township homes Thursday on charges that they took part in a kidnapping of a reluctant Orthodox Jewish husband to force him to grant his wife a religious divorce, beating him and shocking him with a stun gun on his fingers and genitals, according to the U.S. Attorney for New Jersey.

David Aryeh Epstein, 39, and Chaim Baruch Rubin, 32, are charged with kidnapping, according to U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman. Epstein is the son of Mendel Epstein, a 68-year-old Brooklyn rabbi who was accused of similar charges last fall.

According to the complaint, in November 2009 Rubin called the victim concerning a sales job opportunity at ShredZone in Lakewood, and the victim, who had been living in Brooklyn, moved to a temporary residence in Lakewood to begin work. A few days later, Rubin asked him to stay late for a private meeting.

When he walked to his car that evening, the victim was attacked by a group of men, the complaint says. He was dragged into a van, bound with duct tape and zip ties, beaten and shocked with a stun gun on his fingers and genitals until he agreed to grant his wife a divorce.  [...]

Mayo Clinic: Minnesota Woman Beats Cancer with Measles Vaccine

Text of Mayo Clinic report

The myth of therapist/therapy neutrality e.g., sex education

The following important discussion was taken from the comments section of  Psychology: Jewish alternative  to a more prominent location as an important issue in its own right. My observation is not only are therapists often not neutral but even frum therapists often assume that in conflicts between halacha and the therapy they learned - therapy wins out. Issue such as lashon harah about parents or spouses - which is sometimes permissible but often alternatives are not used because it is done for the sake of therapy. In the discussion below the mere mentioning of sex education creates major consequences which are not necessarily handled properly.

================================

AllanKatzMay 13, 2014 at 6:48 PM

Can JOE be more specific as to the aveiros the therapists are validating. Validating usually means acknowledging/ empathic understanding for a problem or a solution to the problem , but not that it is acceptable or the long lasting solution we want 

Joe OrlowMay 15, 2014 at 1:33 AM

Allan,

That's a tall order. I intended my comment for those who have independently arrived at the same conclusion as I have. I'm not sure if I can successfully clarify my comment for others. Also, if I mention a specific case, even with hiding the identity and changing details, someone who knows me may figure out who I am referring to.

That being said, may I have your permission to build a hypothetical case? For example, let's take a teenage girl in a day school that bills itself as Modern. Let's call her "B.Y." for Bas Yisrael. I am making this up in a way that is consistent with the kinds of outcomes I've encountered. Correct at will.

B.Y. [sitting in therapist's office]: Uh, so...how do we start?

Therapist: Why don't you tell me what brought you here.

B.Y. [vehemently]: My parents! [almost spitting out the words] They forced me.

Therapist: [raising eyebrows slightly, look of intent concentration]

B.Y.: So it started out fine. I invited him to come to my house to do homework.

Therapist: Him?

B.Y.: Didn't my parents tell you ANYTHING?! My boyfriend...only he wasn't my boyfriend then. Just a classmate. We had a project due, and the teacher put us on the same team, so I said, 'Let's work on it at my house' and my parents were like, "OK."

Therapist: I'm sensing anger.

B.Y.: I AM angry. A few months before my parents had sat me down and we had a talk. They treated me with respect, answered all my questions -- I felt... [pauses]

Therapist: Yes?

B.Y.: ...I felt, you know, empowered! They were so sensitive and polite. We'd never had a conversation like that before.

Therapist: Do you want to tell me what you spoke about?

B.Y.: It was a candid and honest talk [voice drops to a whisper] about sex.

Therapist: Oh.

B.Y. [sparks flying] They said they TRUSTED me! They told me I was now expected to take on RESPONSIBILITY for my decisions!! [starts crying]

Therapist: [after a time, gently, not prying, almost like wondering to himself] Anything else?

B.Y.: [now composed] So, last week I told my parents that I wanted the same boy to work with me on some homework, and they said "No."

Therapist: [repeating] 'They said 'No.'"

B.Y.: "No." [catching herself] I mean, yes, they said "No." [Drawing out the words] So I said, "Why in the world did you talk to me about relationships if you didn't want me to have a relationship??" [puffing out cheeks, pouting, folding arms, withdrawing into herself]

Therapist: [silent]

B.Y. [after a long time of staring into nowhere, quietly, in a low monotone] The answer was they were trying to "prevent" me from having a relationship. [clams up again]

Therapist: So first they communicated with you in a way you understood to mean you had permission to have a boyfriend, while their intention was the opposite.

B.Y.: Oh, no. They DEFINITELY were signaling that they were willing to allow sex at home. I KNOW that because I found a link on their computer to an article that used the E X A CT same language they used in our original talk. Stuff like, "need not be a green light for promiscuity but can be a red light for undeclared, unpredictable, unsafe activity." They just changed their mind later when they were faced with the reality.

Therapist: Ah.

B.Y. [suddenly, looking up questioningly]: Do you you think that was right of them to act that way?

Now, Allan, I put it to you: what can the therapist possibly respond that is both professional and that will absolutely preclude the possibility of B.Y. saying to her friends: "My therapist says it's OK to have a boyfriend"?

AllanKatzMay 15, 2014 at 10:46 AM

I think I hear you. My 2 cents worth -Maybe the therapist can answer – I hear where you are coming from and sort of understand how you are feeling , but I would appreciate it if you could tell me more , I want to get a better understanding of your concerns and perspective. The boyfriend is only one solution to the kids concerns.

About your parents decisions – I think it would help if we could first get a better understanding of their concerns and perspectives

This will help the kid see the problem from the eyes of the parent and understand the consistency of their decisions. – if one finds oneself in a situation I can trust you to be responsible , but until marriage it is best build friendships with girls

A solution would be to take into account the concerns of both parties . When the concerns of parents are addressed we are setting limits. Sometimes a solution would be to give a kid more autonomy in another area to compensate

Exercising the Mind to Treat Attention Deficits

Update See  NYTimes - previous article

NY Times   Which will it be — the berries or the chocolate dessert? Homework or the Xbox? Finish that memo, or roam Facebook?

Such quotidian decisions test a mental ability called cognitive control, the capacity to maintain focus on an important choice while ignoring other impulses. Poor planning, wandering attention and trouble inhibiting impulses all signify lapses in cognitive control. Now a growing stream of research suggests that strengthening this mental muscle, usually with exercises in so-called mindfulness, may help children and adults cope with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and its adult equivalent, attention deficit disorder.

The studies come amid growing disenchantment with the first-line treatment for these conditions: drugs.

In 2007, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, published a study finding that the incidence of A.D.H.D. among teenagers in Finland, along with difficulties in cognitive functioning and related emotional disorders like depression, were virtually identical to rates among teenagers in the United States. The real difference? Most adolescents with A.D.H.D. in the United States were taking medication; most in Finland were not.

“It raises questions about using medication as a first line of treatment,” said Susan Smalley, a behavior geneticist at U.C.L.A. and the lead author.

In a large study published last year in The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, researchers reported that while most young people with A.D.H.D. benefit from medications in the first year, these effects generally wane by the third year, if not sooner.

“There are no long-term, lasting benefits from taking A.D.H.D. medications,” said James M. Swanson, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, and an author of the study. “But mindfulness seems to be training the same areas of the brain that have reduced activity in A.D.H.D.”

“That’s why mindfulness might be so important,” he added. “It seems to get at the causes.” [...]

Four men in Far Rockaway charged with stealing $12 million intended for Jewish special needs toddlers

See last years NY Times   Villiage Voice   According to the Queens District Attorney's office, four men in Far Rockaway, including a rabbi, have been charged with stealing $12.4 million intended for Jewish special needs toddlers. The men allegedly used that money for all sorts of other things instead, including home repairs on one man's residence, redesigning another man's home from the bottom up, and helping pay for catering for a third man's daughter's wedding and his son's Bar Mitzvah.

According to an audit conducted by the state last year, exactly zero dollars are believed to have gone to the special needs babies, who were supposed to receive specialized one-on-one instruction. Yep. This is a bad one.

The indicted men are Ira Kurman, 52, Rabbi Samuel Hiller, 56, Roy Hoffmann, 50, of 1 Hazel Place and Daniel Laniado, 41. Kurman and Hiller live in Queens, Hoffmann in Long Island and Laniado in Brooklyn. All four men, like their victims, are Orthodox, and the scandal quickly spread through the haredi community last year after a state audit revealed that Island Child Development Center, a day care center for special needs kids which Kurman was the director of, had received millions in taxpayer funding for the instruction of 200 special needs children, aged 3 to 5.[....]

Rav Sternbuch will speak tonight at 6 p.m. in Netivot

Tamar Epstein's marriage "annulment", Rabbinical Council of Washington and the degradation of Orthodox values and authority

Guest Post  by Joe Orlow

See - Tamar Epstein claims she is free even without a Get

[update added questions from Friedman supporters]

================
The Aharon Friedman-Tamar Epstein divorce process is an issue that has led to a split in the Jewish community. I am directly aware of a number of people, including people who are learned, who were initially supporters of Tamar Epstein and subsequently have become strong supporters of Aharon Friedman after they discovered more about the case and studied in more depth the Halacha which has a bearing on this case.

The Rabbinical Council of Greater Washington (RCW) relying on a letter from the Union of Orthodox Rabbis of the United States and Canada (Agudath HaRabonim), made a bizarre statement that "Mr. Aharon Friedman has been adjudged in violation of an order of a Beis Din and accordingly is now considered halachically to have made his wife an agunah."

Subsequent to the Agudath HaRabonim letter being issued, one of the Rabbis who signed the letter was arrested by the FBI in a sting operation for allegedly offering to free a woman from her husband -- even though the "husband" in question did not exist, since the woman had lied to him as part of the sting. One of the staff members of the Agudath Harabonim was also arrested as part of the sting.

Another Rabbi who signed the letter has allegedly been involved in a similar case, in which an actual husband was beaten and apparently almost killed.

Another Rabbi who signed the letter has a longstanding and close connection with Tamar Epstein's family.

Another Rabbi who did not actually sign the letter but added his signature to a copy of the letter has apparently called for beating husbands who don't give a Get to their wives after the husband and wife have been separated for an extended period, apparently without regard to the circumstances of the separation.

In this context, the statement by the RCW that "We urge those who have contact with or influence over Mr. Aharon Friedman to persuade Mr. Friedman, through proper [emphasis added] means only, to promptly comply with the order of the Beis Din and to promptly give his wife the required Get." would seem to indicate that violence is in order. Indeed, after the RCW's letter was issued, Aharon was attacked in the driveway of his wife's residence as he dropped off his daughter.

Lately, Tamar Epstein denies she's married to Aharon Friedman.

I have three initial questions:

(1) Are we allowed to take under consideration the published reports about Rabbi Mordechai Wolmark and Rabbi Yisroel Belsky and their alleged involvement in beating husbands, and if yes, how does this impact the letter they wrote about Aharon Friedman?

(2) How should we treat the RCW which apparently has allied itself with these men?

(3) How should we treat the RCW in light of their silence in regard to Tamar Epstein's disregard of her marriage to Aharon Friedman and her making herself available for marriage to another man?

[added questions from Friedman's supporters:

Following the assault on Aharon, the DC Vaad, and the rabbis who are its members, have refused to answer the following two questions (sent to them by email and postal mail):

Do you and the Washington Vaad consider beating Aharon to be "proper means" of "persuading" Aharon to give a get as called for in the Vaad's letter?

Would you or the Washington Vaad recognize as valid a get that was obtained through beating Aharon?

Furthermore, the RCW has an affiliated Congregation whose Rabbi is a graduate of a Yeshiva with a Bais Medrash

(a) where the students discuss the New Testament with Catholic clergy,

(b) whose current president welcomes intermarried couples,

(c) whose Rosh Yeshiva is embarrassed by the Torah as it has been received (and who seems to be advocating for a way to end a marriage in general without a legitimate Get), while

(d) the coordinator of conversions for the Rabbinic organization associated with the Yeshiva denies that any Jews are descended from Abraham.

Is a Jew allowed to step into that RCW affiliated Shul? If yes, can one eat from the kitchen in that Shul (the kitchen is certified Kosher by the RCW)?

One of the Rabbis of the RCW co-authored a Sefer with a number of Rabbis closely connected to this Yeshiva. Can a Jew Daven in this RCW Rabbi's Shul and eat from the kitchen there?

If food from the kitchens at these Shuls are off-limits, may one still eat at and/or buy food from other RCW certified Kosher establishments such as butcher shops?

There is an Orthodox school here whose Rav ha-Kehilla is a Musmach of this Yeshiva. May a student attend this school?

Furthermore, there's an international Orthodox organization that has some member congregations that have Rabbis who are graduates of this Yeshiva. This organization has not categorically stated that these Rabbis cannot participate as members of the Kashrus branch of the organization. May a Jew eat food which has been certified as Kosher by this organization?

There's another international Kashrus organization whose Rabbinic leader has given a letter of support to the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA). ORA is the group that broke the news that Tamar Epstein, a married woman, is "free" and which took credit for facilitating this married woman's being granted the freedom to marry another man. May a Jew eat food certified Kosher by this Kashrus organization?

Lastly, it is my understanding that the entire Jewish Nation accepted upon itself to follow the Shulchan Aruch, and that when a Rav decides not to follow the Shulchan Aruch in a given case that it is not improper to request of him that he explain why we do not follow the Shulchan in that case.

Yet, reportedly, there's a Rav of the RCW that said that when a great scholar says to go against the Shulchan Aruch that the great scholar must be followed unquestioningly. Is one allowed to Daven in this Rav's shul, or to ask Halachic questions of him?

Psychology: A Jewish alternative through Torah Eitzah and Mussar - Rabbi Yosef Epstein

בדורותינו

בדורות שלפנים, היתה חכמת העצה נדרשת מפי חכמי תורה ויראה, מפי זקנים שבעי הרפתקאות ונסיון ׁ(עי' שמו"ר ג:י כל מי שנוטל עצה מן הזקנים וכו': ודר"א זוטא פ"ז), וזיוה הי' נאצל מזיו עינים הבהירה של גדולי הדורות מנהיגי האומה.

אולם בדורותינו אנו, הלכה חכמת העצה ופשטה צורה ולבשה צורה - מעט מעט עברה מרשותם של חכמים וזקנים לרשותם של מדענים, עולי ימים, מקצוענים, מהם גם כאלה שלא פתחו בה אלא כקרדום לחפור בה.

רמה הוא המעין הימנו שואב הייעוץ בימינו, הן אין זה אלא חכמת הפסיכולוגיא של ימינו - הפסיכולוגיא של "פסיכואנליטיקה" ר"בהייביוריזם" אשר פיררתי· הארסיים אנו אוכלים.

אף המדען או היועץ הדתי, למרות כשרות אישיותו, סוף סוף מקורו המדעי נובע משם. אם בכח העיון והמחשבה שלו לא די עצמאי הוא, ואם הכרתו לא די עמוק ברקע התורה והאמונה היא נעוצה, קל לו לגרעין פורה רוש ולענה להיות תוסס וצומח תחת סף הכרתו, ולהעביר גם טעם וריח אל מוחו של הנוטל עצתו.

יותר מזה, לאור מחקרי הערכה ו"דיררחים" בשדה הפעולה המדעית של הייעוץ  המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית, לא רק שהתחילו רבים וחכמים לפקפק ביעילותם של אי-אלה מהם, אלא גם להודות, באיזה ענפים, על קלקול העולה על התיקון ועל הפסד העןלה על השכר, וטוב שלא נבראו משנבראו. (כל זה הוא מהפרסומים המדעיים של אלה, ואכהמ"ל.(

הרואה את הנולד

למרות המבוכה בשדה המחקר של הפסיכולוגיא - יום יום ושיטותיו הסותרות אשה את רעותה, למרות הטלת הספק בעצם האפשריות של קביעת שיטות וכללים כלל-אנושיים בחכמת הנפש, למרות האכזבה בהישגי הייעוץ המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית, ולמרות המשבר המוסרי המאיים בעולם המעשה האוכל את פירותיהם, של איזה מהשטות, הולכים ממסדים אלה הלוך והתבסס, הלוך ופרוש את מצודתם על החיים.

והמצודה פרושה גם על מחננו אנו. מחנה שומרי התורה והמצוה. גם אנו מתרגלים לפנות אל ה"כתובת" של ה"פוסקים" ה"מומחים" בבעיות נפש, יועצים מקצועיים ועובדים סוציאליים. להסתייע על ידם בענינים חברתיים, משפחתיים, חינוכיים.

ומה הפלא?

היכן לא נגעה יד הפסיכולוגיא המודרנית. הייעוץ המקצועי והעובד הסוציאלי?

בחינוך - האם יש לך בית ספר, גבוה אר תיכוני, בעל חשיבות שאין על משמרת מוריו ופקידיו, פסיכולוג, יועץ ועובד סוציאלי?

בחברה - האם יש לך מוסד חברתי פילנטררפי מקובל על הרבים שאין מתקיימת על ידו שירות פסיכולוגית. ייעוציה וסוציאלית?

במשפחה - היש לך כתב-עת די נפרץ שאין על עמודיו טור לייעוץ בחיי אישות ומשפחה?

גלגל חוזר הוא בעולם - הפסיכולוגיא, הייעוץ המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית מפתחים את הרגישות לבעיות. לעשותנו "מפונקים" לאותו דבר. מה ששוב מגדיל את הזיקה לפסיכולוגיא. לייעוץ ולשירות, וחוזר חלילה.

עלתה דעה בין החוקרים הסוציאליים כי גברה ועצמה בימינו "שכבת הבוגרים" המתרכזת על דרישות עצמיות תוך צמאון לחידוש ותמורה. שורש פורה בעיות נפש ומשברים. אמנם רבה בזה השפעת פיזור הנפש של החיים המודרניים אבל האם אין בזה חלק גם להשפעת הפינוק של הממסדים האמורים?

ובזה עלינו לעמוד על המשמר ולהיות רואים את הנולד!

הנה נוסף על הגורם החברתי של ימינו נוסף גם הגורם של המשטר הממשלתי המודרני ההולך ומתערב ונעשה פעיל ביותר בממסדים החברתיים, פילנטרופיים, וחינוכיים, וממילא גם מרבה לפתח את ממסדי הייעוץ המקצועי והשירות של העבודה הסוציאלית, תומך בהם כספית, ומקרב ומושך את הלבבות להנאתן.

בתהליך זה לא ימלט כי בהמשך הזמן ימסר לממסדי הפסיכולוגיא, הייעוץ המקצועי והשירות של העבודה הסוציאלית גם כח רשמי של כפי'!

כבר הגיע לידי זה שמדברים על תנועה להנהיג חוק על ידו יהא על זוג העומד להנשא להציג לא דק אישור על בריאות הגוף אלא גם על מצבו הפסיכי!

דברים אך למותר לבאר מה המה ה"סיכויים" הצפונים בזה להשפעתם של הפסיכולוגיא השימושית, הייעוץ והשירות הסוציאלית, ומה משמעותה השלילית של השפעה זו ליהדות!

האם מתבוננים אנו בזה? האם אנו עושים מה בזה בעוד מועד?

האם רואים אנו את הנולד?

Lakewood rabbi admits to plot to kidnap Orthodox Jewish man to force religious divorce

Asbury Park Press    David Wax, the rabbi accused of plotting to kidnap an Orthodox Jewish man to force him to give his wife a religious divorce, and whose case led to similar charges against other rabbis, pleaded guilty in federal court Tuesday, officials said.

David Wax, 51, of Lakewood pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit kidnapping in a case that dates back to 2010, authorities said. David and his wife, Judy Wax, were arrested and charged with paying to have an Israeli national — Yisrael Meir Briskman — kidnapped and beaten in order to force him to give his estranged wife a religious divorce.

During his plea Tuesday before U.S. District Judge Freda L. Wolfson, David Wax implicated Mendel Epstein, a Brooklyn rabbi who has a home in Lakewood, along with several other men who were charged last fall in a similar conspiracy.

According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office, the charges against Judy Wax still are pending. [...]

For Orthodox Parents, Time To Talk Sex by Rabbi Mendel Horowitz

Forward   Recent articles in the Forward have raised the issue of Orthodox Judaism’s so-called repression of sexuality. Although I thought the articles were not particularly respectful of Orthodoxy’s moral codes, they do indeed raise a point. Arguably bad mannered, they are undoubtedly on to something.

This past summer, an article in The New York Times, presumably overlooked by many Orthodox Jews, examined the propriety of allowing teenage children to be sexually active at home. The author, who admits to being childless, suggests that the ideal attitude of parents be a “well-mixed cocktail of caution and tolerance.”

Continuing the conversation, the online magazine Slate lent support for a suggestive approach by reporting how Dutch parents enjoy more open dialogue with their children about sex than American parents do, all while “demonstrating acceptance and respect for their kids’ relationships.” Such parental candor is proposed as grounds for the low rates of teenage pregnancy in the Netherlands.

The discussion is not irrelevant to Orthodox Jews. While they will probably not consider in-house licentiousness — and I am not suggesting they should — having more open dialogue with children about their personal lives may help to promote more fruitful relationships. When it comes to sex, acceptance and respect are said to correlate with safer, healthier lifestyles.

Showing young people that we trust them to act responsibly seems to increase the likelihood of their responsible behavior. Allowing sex at home need not be a green light for promiscuity but can be a red light for undeclared, unpredictable, unsafe activity. Permission sometimes helps to prevent.

For Orthodox Jews for whom premarital sex (and even masturbation) is forbidden, the mere mention of sexuality is almost equally taboo. While some secular counterparts, too, may be prudish, devout parents’ inhibitions are complicated by immovable religious mores. With procreation a positive religious act, explicit regulations govern its procedure. The line between inappropriate words and less appropriate deeds is thin. Seeing themselves as Jews first and parents second, some Orthodox fathers and mothers propagate ignorance and insecurity by avoiding the conversation entirely. With no consent for action, many Orthodox teenagers have no vocabulary even for talking about sex. [...]

Nicholas Winton: Saved 669 Jewish children from the Nazis

Wikipedia   Winton was born in Hampstead, London, the son of German Jewish parents who had moved to London in 1907.[5] Their family name was Wertheim, but they subsequently changed it to Winton in an effort at integration.[6] The family eventually converted to Christianity, and Winton was baptised.[7]

Just before Christmas 1938, Winton was about to travel to Switzerland for a skiing holiday, when he decided instead to travel to Prague to help his friend Martin Blake, who was involved in Jewish refugee work,^[5] and had called him asking for his help.^[9] There he single-handedly established an organization to aid children from Jewish families at risk from the Nazis. He set up an office at a dining room table in his hotel in Wenceslas Square.^[10] In November 1938, shortly after Kristallnacht, the House of Commons approved a measure that would permit the entry of refugees younger than 17 years old into Britain, if they had a place to stay and a warranty of £50 was deposited for a ticket for their eventual return to their country of origin.<sup>[11][...]

Winton kept quiet about his humanitarian exploits for many years, until his wife Grete found a detailed scrapbook in their attic in 1988.[20] It contained lists of the children, including their parents' names, and the names and addresses of the families that took them in. By sending letters to these addresses, 80 of "Winton's children" were found in Britain.[20] The world found out about his work in 1988 during an episode of the BBC television programme That's Life! [21] when he was invited as a member of the audience. At one point Winton's scrapbook was shown, and his achievements explained. The host of the programme, Esther Rantzen, asked whether any in the audience owed their lives to Winton, and, if so, to stand – more than two dozen people surrounding Winton rose and applauded.[22]</sup> 

Schlesinger Twins: Paul Kendall of The Telegraph describes the injustice to Beth and her sons

The Telegraph ....Thanks to an Austrian family court judge, who has awarded full custody of the children to Mrs Schlesinger’s estranged husband, the petite Cambridge graduate has not put her boys to bed at night-time for almost three years. And yet her former partner, Michael, was deemed so violent and unpredictable at the time of their separation that social workers recommended not only that Mrs Schlesinger be granted sole custody, but also that, on the occasions the father had access to the twins, he never be left alone with them.

The alteration to that original decision has been described by one British MP as “one of the worst miscarriages of justice” he has experienced in nearly 25 years as a politician, and by another as a “blight on the Austrian judicial system”. It has raised serious questions about the impartiality of the judge on the case and hints at a sinister conspiracy that spans both the Austrian Landesgericht (Court of Appeal) and the social services.

More worrying still, it appears that the twins’ development is suffering in their father’s care. Only recently out of nappies, the boys, Samuel and Benjamin, are still unable to talk, three weeks shy of their fifth birthdays.

“It’s like a living grief,” says Mrs Schlesinger, sitting on the edge of a couch in her front room, opposite shelves stacked with puzzles, soft toys and sticker books. “I’m mourning my children, but it’s kind of a perverse mourning because they’re still alive. I know they’re alive and I’m so close to them – I’m just down the road – and yet I can’t see them or play any meaningful role in their lives.”[...]

In normal circumstances, Mr Schlesinger’s abuse of his doctor’s credentials and attempt to have his wife committed under false pretences – thus separating her from her children – would have excluded all possibility of him ever gaining custody. And, in fact, the case judge, Susanne Göttlicher, rejected an application by Mr Schlesinger for custody in April 2011.

But, just three months later, Judge Göttlicher reversed her decision and placed the children into his full-time care.[...]
The decision is regarded as so inexplicable, in fact, that Mr Stringer and others suspect the judge has been unduly influenced. It is a matter of record that, very soon after Mr Schlesinger was evicted from the flat, he sought the help of a judge from the Court of Appeal, Konstanze Thau, who is a friend of the family. Judge Göttlicher has admitted that she has discussed the case with Judge Thau.

“At the very minimum, there appears to have been irregular and unprofessional behaviour,” says Mr Stringer.

Ivan Lewis, MP for Bury South, the neighbouring constituency to Mr Stringer, who has taken a close interest in the case, goes further.

“There is no doubt that there has been inappropriate intervention in this case by another judge who is a personal friend of the father,” he says. “It’s following that intervention that the judge on the case started making decisions that were incredibly supportive of the father.[...]

Brooklyn District Attorney. - Is selling out to Satmar part of the job?

Verdict Justia by Prof. Marci Hamilton Here we are at the end of Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and let’s just say that the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community as a whole is not going to receive any justice awards soon, though two brave individuals should.

First, there is the specter in Brooklyn of a sweetheart plea deal for the criminal who threw bleach on the face of the bravest advocate of sex abuse survivors in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. Second, at the end of last month, there was a veritable celebration in honor of the prison release of the criminal who tried to bribe a young woman and her boyfriend with $500,000 to drop charges against ultra-Orthodox molester Rabbi Nechemya Weberman.

The Sweetheart Plea Deal for a Vicious Assault

Former Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes repeatedly let down the victims of child sex abuse in the Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities. He actually lost his job because of it. The man who replaced him, Ken Thompson, ran on a platform of protecting the children who were abandoned by the Hynes administration. He started off strong by dropping the charges against Sam Kellner, who was unfairly charged with extortion when in fact he was trying to obtain justice for his son, who was sexually abused. He made many points then. Earlier this week, he backtracked.

The fight to protect victims of abuse in religious communities is difficult and daunting, and those inside the community can pay the steepest price. One of those men in the ultra-Orthodox universe is Rabbi Nuchum Rosenberg, who has persistently ministered to the abused in his community, forced the issue into the public square through a call-in show and blog, and proudly stood in support of legislative reform in Albany for them. His dogged persistence has created a wedge in the community for justice, and survivors sorely in need of support have started to speak up.

Tempers were running high December of 2012 following the trial and guilty verdict of sick molester and esteemed counselor Rabbi Nechemya Weberman.

Rosenberg had been a victim of violence before, but the day after the Weberman verdict, Meilech Schnitzler approached Rosenberg and threw bleach in his face. But for the quick action of a person who threw a cup of water on Rosenberg’s face, he might be blind today.

In a move that has sent chills through the ultra-Orthodox survivor community, Thompson cut a deal with Schnitzler that will hardly deter future violence against the survivors’ advocates. Instead of serving the years in prison the crime should have earned, Schnitzler confessed to throwing the bleach on Rosenberg and received nothing but unsupervised probation. To quote Rosenberg, “Probation in our circles is a joke.” [...]