Exercising the Mind to Treat Attention Deficits

Update See  NYTimes - previous article

NY Times   Which will it be — the berries or the chocolate dessert? Homework or the Xbox? Finish that memo, or roam Facebook?

Such quotidian decisions test a mental ability called cognitive control, the capacity to maintain focus on an important choice while ignoring other impulses. Poor planning, wandering attention and trouble inhibiting impulses all signify lapses in cognitive control. Now a growing stream of research suggests that strengthening this mental muscle, usually with exercises in so-called mindfulness, may help children and adults cope with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and its adult equivalent, attention deficit disorder.

The studies come amid growing disenchantment with the first-line treatment for these conditions: drugs.

In 2007, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, published a study finding that the incidence of A.D.H.D. among teenagers in Finland, along with difficulties in cognitive functioning and related emotional disorders like depression, were virtually identical to rates among teenagers in the United States. The real difference? Most adolescents with A.D.H.D. in the United States were taking medication; most in Finland were not.

“It raises questions about using medication as a first line of treatment,” said Susan Smalley, a behavior geneticist at U.C.L.A. and the lead author.

In a large study published last year in The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, researchers reported that while most young people with A.D.H.D. benefit from medications in the first year, these effects generally wane by the third year, if not sooner.

“There are no long-term, lasting benefits from taking A.D.H.D. medications,” said James M. Swanson, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, and an author of the study. “But mindfulness seems to be training the same areas of the brain that have reduced activity in A.D.H.D.”

“That’s why mindfulness might be so important,” he added. “It seems to get at the causes.” [...]

Four men in Far Rockaway charged with stealing $12 million intended for Jewish special needs toddlers

See last years NY Times   Villiage Voice   According to the Queens District Attorney's office, four men in Far Rockaway, including a rabbi, have been charged with stealing $12.4 million intended for Jewish special needs toddlers. The men allegedly used that money for all sorts of other things instead, including home repairs on one man's residence, redesigning another man's home from the bottom up, and helping pay for catering for a third man's daughter's wedding and his son's Bar Mitzvah.

According to an audit conducted by the state last year, exactly zero dollars are believed to have gone to the special needs babies, who were supposed to receive specialized one-on-one instruction. Yep. This is a bad one.

The indicted men are Ira Kurman, 52, Rabbi Samuel Hiller, 56, Roy Hoffmann, 50, of 1 Hazel Place and Daniel Laniado, 41. Kurman and Hiller live in Queens, Hoffmann in Long Island and Laniado in Brooklyn. All four men, like their victims, are Orthodox, and the scandal quickly spread through the haredi community last year after a state audit revealed that Island Child Development Center, a day care center for special needs kids which Kurman was the director of, had received millions in taxpayer funding for the instruction of 200 special needs children, aged 3 to 5.[....]

Rav Sternbuch will speak tonight at 6 p.m. in Netivot

Tamar Epstein's marriage "annulment", Rabbinical Council of Washington and the degradation of Orthodox values and authority

Guest Post  by Joe Orlow

See - Tamar Epstein claims she is free even without a Get

[update added questions from Friedman supporters]

================
The Aharon Friedman-Tamar Epstein divorce process is an issue that has led to a split in the Jewish community. I am directly aware of a number of people, including people who are learned, who were initially supporters of Tamar Epstein and subsequently have become strong supporters of Aharon Friedman after they discovered more about the case and studied in more depth the Halacha which has a bearing on this case.

The Rabbinical Council of Greater Washington (RCW) relying on a letter from the Union of Orthodox Rabbis of the United States and Canada (Agudath HaRabonim), made a bizarre statement that "Mr. Aharon Friedman has been adjudged in violation of an order of a Beis Din and accordingly is now considered halachically to have made his wife an agunah."

Subsequent to the Agudath HaRabonim letter being issued, one of the Rabbis who signed the letter was arrested by the FBI in a sting operation for allegedly offering to free a woman from her husband -- even though the "husband" in question did not exist, since the woman had lied to him as part of the sting. One of the staff members of the Agudath Harabonim was also arrested as part of the sting.

Another Rabbi who signed the letter has allegedly been involved in a similar case, in which an actual husband was beaten and apparently almost killed.

Another Rabbi who signed the letter has a longstanding and close connection with Tamar Epstein's family.

Another Rabbi who did not actually sign the letter but added his signature to a copy of the letter has apparently called for beating husbands who don't give a Get to their wives after the husband and wife have been separated for an extended period, apparently without regard to the circumstances of the separation.

In this context, the statement by the RCW that "We urge those who have contact with or influence over Mr. Aharon Friedman to persuade Mr. Friedman, through proper [emphasis added] means only, to promptly comply with the order of the Beis Din and to promptly give his wife the required Get." would seem to indicate that violence is in order. Indeed, after the RCW's letter was issued, Aharon was attacked in the driveway of his wife's residence as he dropped off his daughter.

Lately, Tamar Epstein denies she's married to Aharon Friedman.

I have three initial questions:

(1) Are we allowed to take under consideration the published reports about Rabbi Mordechai Wolmark and Rabbi Yisroel Belsky and their alleged involvement in beating husbands, and if yes, how does this impact the letter they wrote about Aharon Friedman?

(2) How should we treat the RCW which apparently has allied itself with these men?

(3) How should we treat the RCW in light of their silence in regard to Tamar Epstein's disregard of her marriage to Aharon Friedman and her making herself available for marriage to another man?

[added questions from Friedman's supporters:

Following the assault on Aharon, the DC Vaad, and the rabbis who are its members, have refused to answer the following two questions (sent to them by email and postal mail):

Do you and the Washington Vaad consider beating Aharon to be "proper means" of "persuading" Aharon to give a get as called for in the Vaad's letter?

Would you or the Washington Vaad recognize as valid a get that was obtained through beating Aharon?

Furthermore, the RCW has an affiliated Congregation whose Rabbi is a graduate of a Yeshiva with a Bais Medrash

(a) where the students discuss the New Testament with Catholic clergy,

(b) whose current president welcomes intermarried couples,

(c) whose Rosh Yeshiva is embarrassed by the Torah as it has been received (and who seems to be advocating for a way to end a marriage in general without a legitimate Get), while

(d) the coordinator of conversions for the Rabbinic organization associated with the Yeshiva denies that any Jews are descended from Abraham.

Is a Jew allowed to step into that RCW affiliated Shul? If yes, can one eat from the kitchen in that Shul (the kitchen is certified Kosher by the RCW)?

One of the Rabbis of the RCW co-authored a Sefer with a number of Rabbis closely connected to this Yeshiva. Can a Jew Daven in this RCW Rabbi's Shul and eat from the kitchen there?

If food from the kitchens at these Shuls are off-limits, may one still eat at and/or buy food from other RCW certified Kosher establishments such as butcher shops?

There is an Orthodox school here whose Rav ha-Kehilla is a Musmach of this Yeshiva. May a student attend this school?

Furthermore, there's an international Orthodox organization that has some member congregations that have Rabbis who are graduates of this Yeshiva. This organization has not categorically stated that these Rabbis cannot participate as members of the Kashrus branch of the organization. May a Jew eat food which has been certified as Kosher by this organization?

There's another international Kashrus organization whose Rabbinic leader has given a letter of support to the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA). ORA is the group that broke the news that Tamar Epstein, a married woman, is "free" and which took credit for facilitating this married woman's being granted the freedom to marry another man. May a Jew eat food certified Kosher by this Kashrus organization?

Lastly, it is my understanding that the entire Jewish Nation accepted upon itself to follow the Shulchan Aruch, and that when a Rav decides not to follow the Shulchan Aruch in a given case that it is not improper to request of him that he explain why we do not follow the Shulchan in that case.

Yet, reportedly, there's a Rav of the RCW that said that when a great scholar says to go against the Shulchan Aruch that the great scholar must be followed unquestioningly. Is one allowed to Daven in this Rav's shul, or to ask Halachic questions of him?

Psychology: A Jewish alternative through Torah Eitzah and Mussar - Rabbi Yosef Epstein

בדורותינו

בדורות שלפנים, היתה חכמת העצה נדרשת מפי חכמי תורה ויראה, מפי זקנים שבעי הרפתקאות ונסיון ׁ(עי' שמו"ר ג:י כל מי שנוטל עצה מן הזקנים וכו': ודר"א זוטא פ"ז), וזיוה הי' נאצל מזיו עינים הבהירה של גדולי הדורות מנהיגי האומה.

אולם בדורותינו אנו, הלכה חכמת העצה ופשטה צורה ולבשה צורה - מעט מעט עברה מרשותם של חכמים וזקנים לרשותם של מדענים, עולי ימים, מקצוענים, מהם גם כאלה שלא פתחו בה אלא כקרדום לחפור בה.

רמה הוא המעין הימנו שואב הייעוץ בימינו, הן אין זה אלא חכמת הפסיכולוגיא של ימינו - הפסיכולוגיא של "פסיכואנליטיקה" ר"בהייביוריזם" אשר פיררתי· הארסיים אנו אוכלים.

אף המדען או היועץ הדתי, למרות כשרות אישיותו, סוף סוף מקורו המדעי נובע משם. אם בכח העיון והמחשבה שלו לא די עצמאי הוא, ואם הכרתו לא די עמוק ברקע התורה והאמונה היא נעוצה, קל לו לגרעין פורה רוש ולענה להיות תוסס וצומח תחת סף הכרתו, ולהעביר גם טעם וריח אל מוחו של הנוטל עצתו.

יותר מזה, לאור מחקרי הערכה ו"דיררחים" בשדה הפעולה המדעית של הייעוץ  המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית, לא רק שהתחילו רבים וחכמים לפקפק ביעילותם של אי-אלה מהם, אלא גם להודות, באיזה ענפים, על קלקול העולה על התיקון ועל הפסד העןלה על השכר, וטוב שלא נבראו משנבראו. (כל זה הוא מהפרסומים המדעיים של אלה, ואכהמ"ל.(

הרואה את הנולד

למרות המבוכה בשדה המחקר של הפסיכולוגיא - יום יום ושיטותיו הסותרות אשה את רעותה, למרות הטלת הספק בעצם האפשריות של קביעת שיטות וכללים כלל-אנושיים בחכמת הנפש, למרות האכזבה בהישגי הייעוץ המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית, ולמרות המשבר המוסרי המאיים בעולם המעשה האוכל את פירותיהם, של איזה מהשטות, הולכים ממסדים אלה הלוך והתבסס, הלוך ופרוש את מצודתם על החיים.

והמצודה פרושה גם על מחננו אנו. מחנה שומרי התורה והמצוה. גם אנו מתרגלים לפנות אל ה"כתובת" של ה"פוסקים" ה"מומחים" בבעיות נפש, יועצים מקצועיים ועובדים סוציאליים. להסתייע על ידם בענינים חברתיים, משפחתיים, חינוכיים.

ומה הפלא?

היכן לא נגעה יד הפסיכולוגיא המודרנית. הייעוץ המקצועי והעובד הסוציאלי?

בחינוך - האם יש לך בית ספר, גבוה אר תיכוני, בעל חשיבות שאין על משמרת מוריו ופקידיו, פסיכולוג, יועץ ועובד סוציאלי?

בחברה - האם יש לך מוסד חברתי פילנטררפי מקובל על הרבים שאין מתקיימת על ידו שירות פסיכולוגית. ייעוציה וסוציאלית?

במשפחה - היש לך כתב-עת די נפרץ שאין על עמודיו טור לייעוץ בחיי אישות ומשפחה?

גלגל חוזר הוא בעולם - הפסיכולוגיא, הייעוץ המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית מפתחים את הרגישות לבעיות. לעשותנו "מפונקים" לאותו דבר. מה ששוב מגדיל את הזיקה לפסיכולוגיא. לייעוץ ולשירות, וחוזר חלילה.

עלתה דעה בין החוקרים הסוציאליים כי גברה ועצמה בימינו "שכבת הבוגרים" המתרכזת על דרישות עצמיות תוך צמאון לחידוש ותמורה. שורש פורה בעיות נפש ומשברים. אמנם רבה בזה השפעת פיזור הנפש של החיים המודרניים אבל האם אין בזה חלק גם להשפעת הפינוק של הממסדים האמורים?

ובזה עלינו לעמוד על המשמר ולהיות רואים את הנולד!

הנה נוסף על הגורם החברתי של ימינו נוסף גם הגורם של המשטר הממשלתי המודרני ההולך ומתערב ונעשה פעיל ביותר בממסדים החברתיים, פילנטרופיים, וחינוכיים, וממילא גם מרבה לפתח את ממסדי הייעוץ המקצועי והשירות של העבודה הסוציאלית, תומך בהם כספית, ומקרב ומושך את הלבבות להנאתן.

בתהליך זה לא ימלט כי בהמשך הזמן ימסר לממסדי הפסיכולוגיא, הייעוץ המקצועי והשירות של העבודה הסוציאלית גם כח רשמי של כפי'!

כבר הגיע לידי זה שמדברים על תנועה להנהיג חוק על ידו יהא על זוג העומד להנשא להציג לא דק אישור על בריאות הגוף אלא גם על מצבו הפסיכי!

דברים אך למותר לבאר מה המה ה"סיכויים" הצפונים בזה להשפעתם של הפסיכולוגיא השימושית, הייעוץ והשירות הסוציאלית, ומה משמעותה השלילית של השפעה זו ליהדות!

האם מתבוננים אנו בזה? האם אנו עושים מה בזה בעוד מועד?

האם רואים אנו את הנולד?

Lakewood rabbi admits to plot to kidnap Orthodox Jewish man to force religious divorce

Asbury Park Press    David Wax, the rabbi accused of plotting to kidnap an Orthodox Jewish man to force him to give his wife a religious divorce, and whose case led to similar charges against other rabbis, pleaded guilty in federal court Tuesday, officials said.

David Wax, 51, of Lakewood pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit kidnapping in a case that dates back to 2010, authorities said. David and his wife, Judy Wax, were arrested and charged with paying to have an Israeli national — Yisrael Meir Briskman — kidnapped and beaten in order to force him to give his estranged wife a religious divorce.

During his plea Tuesday before U.S. District Judge Freda L. Wolfson, David Wax implicated Mendel Epstein, a Brooklyn rabbi who has a home in Lakewood, along with several other men who were charged last fall in a similar conspiracy.

According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office, the charges against Judy Wax still are pending. [...]

For Orthodox Parents, Time To Talk Sex by Rabbi Mendel Horowitz

Forward   Recent articles in the Forward have raised the issue of Orthodox Judaism’s so-called repression of sexuality. Although I thought the articles were not particularly respectful of Orthodoxy’s moral codes, they do indeed raise a point. Arguably bad mannered, they are undoubtedly on to something.

This past summer, an article in The New York Times, presumably overlooked by many Orthodox Jews, examined the propriety of allowing teenage children to be sexually active at home. The author, who admits to being childless, suggests that the ideal attitude of parents be a “well-mixed cocktail of caution and tolerance.”

Continuing the conversation, the online magazine Slate lent support for a suggestive approach by reporting how Dutch parents enjoy more open dialogue with their children about sex than American parents do, all while “demonstrating acceptance and respect for their kids’ relationships.” Such parental candor is proposed as grounds for the low rates of teenage pregnancy in the Netherlands.

The discussion is not irrelevant to Orthodox Jews. While they will probably not consider in-house licentiousness — and I am not suggesting they should — having more open dialogue with children about their personal lives may help to promote more fruitful relationships. When it comes to sex, acceptance and respect are said to correlate with safer, healthier lifestyles.

Showing young people that we trust them to act responsibly seems to increase the likelihood of their responsible behavior. Allowing sex at home need not be a green light for promiscuity but can be a red light for undeclared, unpredictable, unsafe activity. Permission sometimes helps to prevent.

For Orthodox Jews for whom premarital sex (and even masturbation) is forbidden, the mere mention of sexuality is almost equally taboo. While some secular counterparts, too, may be prudish, devout parents’ inhibitions are complicated by immovable religious mores. With procreation a positive religious act, explicit regulations govern its procedure. The line between inappropriate words and less appropriate deeds is thin. Seeing themselves as Jews first and parents second, some Orthodox fathers and mothers propagate ignorance and insecurity by avoiding the conversation entirely. With no consent for action, many Orthodox teenagers have no vocabulary even for talking about sex. [...]

Nicholas Winton: Saved 669 Jewish children from the Nazis

Wikipedia   Winton was born in Hampstead, London, the son of German Jewish parents who had moved to London in 1907.[5] Their family name was Wertheim, but they subsequently changed it to Winton in an effort at integration.[6] The family eventually converted to Christianity, and Winton was baptised.[7]

Just before Christmas 1938, Winton was about to travel to Switzerland for a skiing holiday, when he decided instead to travel to Prague to help his friend Martin Blake, who was involved in Jewish refugee work,^[5] and had called him asking for his help.^[9] There he single-handedly established an organization to aid children from Jewish families at risk from the Nazis. He set up an office at a dining room table in his hotel in Wenceslas Square.^[10] In November 1938, shortly after Kristallnacht, the House of Commons approved a measure that would permit the entry of refugees younger than 17 years old into Britain, if they had a place to stay and a warranty of £50 was deposited for a ticket for their eventual return to their country of origin.<sup>[11][...]

Winton kept quiet about his humanitarian exploits for many years, until his wife Grete found a detailed scrapbook in their attic in 1988.[20] It contained lists of the children, including their parents' names, and the names and addresses of the families that took them in. By sending letters to these addresses, 80 of "Winton's children" were found in Britain.[20] The world found out about his work in 1988 during an episode of the BBC television programme That's Life! [21] when he was invited as a member of the audience. At one point Winton's scrapbook was shown, and his achievements explained. The host of the programme, Esther Rantzen, asked whether any in the audience owed their lives to Winton, and, if so, to stand – more than two dozen people surrounding Winton rose and applauded.[22]</sup> 

Schlesinger Twins: Paul Kendall of The Telegraph describes the injustice to Beth and her sons

The Telegraph ....Thanks to an Austrian family court judge, who has awarded full custody of the children to Mrs Schlesinger’s estranged husband, the petite Cambridge graduate has not put her boys to bed at night-time for almost three years. And yet her former partner, Michael, was deemed so violent and unpredictable at the time of their separation that social workers recommended not only that Mrs Schlesinger be granted sole custody, but also that, on the occasions the father had access to the twins, he never be left alone with them.

The alteration to that original decision has been described by one British MP as “one of the worst miscarriages of justice” he has experienced in nearly 25 years as a politician, and by another as a “blight on the Austrian judicial system”. It has raised serious questions about the impartiality of the judge on the case and hints at a sinister conspiracy that spans both the Austrian Landesgericht (Court of Appeal) and the social services.

More worrying still, it appears that the twins’ development is suffering in their father’s care. Only recently out of nappies, the boys, Samuel and Benjamin, are still unable to talk, three weeks shy of their fifth birthdays.

“It’s like a living grief,” says Mrs Schlesinger, sitting on the edge of a couch in her front room, opposite shelves stacked with puzzles, soft toys and sticker books. “I’m mourning my children, but it’s kind of a perverse mourning because they’re still alive. I know they’re alive and I’m so close to them – I’m just down the road – and yet I can’t see them or play any meaningful role in their lives.”[...]

In normal circumstances, Mr Schlesinger’s abuse of his doctor’s credentials and attempt to have his wife committed under false pretences – thus separating her from her children – would have excluded all possibility of him ever gaining custody. And, in fact, the case judge, Susanne Göttlicher, rejected an application by Mr Schlesinger for custody in April 2011.

But, just three months later, Judge Göttlicher reversed her decision and placed the children into his full-time care.[...]
The decision is regarded as so inexplicable, in fact, that Mr Stringer and others suspect the judge has been unduly influenced. It is a matter of record that, very soon after Mr Schlesinger was evicted from the flat, he sought the help of a judge from the Court of Appeal, Konstanze Thau, who is a friend of the family. Judge Göttlicher has admitted that she has discussed the case with Judge Thau.

“At the very minimum, there appears to have been irregular and unprofessional behaviour,” says Mr Stringer.

Ivan Lewis, MP for Bury South, the neighbouring constituency to Mr Stringer, who has taken a close interest in the case, goes further.

“There is no doubt that there has been inappropriate intervention in this case by another judge who is a personal friend of the father,” he says. “It’s following that intervention that the judge on the case started making decisions that were incredibly supportive of the father.[...]

Brooklyn District Attorney. - Is selling out to Satmar part of the job?

Verdict Justia by Prof. Marci Hamilton Here we are at the end of Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and let’s just say that the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community as a whole is not going to receive any justice awards soon, though two brave individuals should.

First, there is the specter in Brooklyn of a sweetheart plea deal for the criminal who threw bleach on the face of the bravest advocate of sex abuse survivors in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. Second, at the end of last month, there was a veritable celebration in honor of the prison release of the criminal who tried to bribe a young woman and her boyfriend with $500,000 to drop charges against ultra-Orthodox molester Rabbi Nechemya Weberman.

The Sweetheart Plea Deal for a Vicious Assault

Former Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes repeatedly let down the victims of child sex abuse in the Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities. He actually lost his job because of it. The man who replaced him, Ken Thompson, ran on a platform of protecting the children who were abandoned by the Hynes administration. He started off strong by dropping the charges against Sam Kellner, who was unfairly charged with extortion when in fact he was trying to obtain justice for his son, who was sexually abused. He made many points then. Earlier this week, he backtracked.

The fight to protect victims of abuse in religious communities is difficult and daunting, and those inside the community can pay the steepest price. One of those men in the ultra-Orthodox universe is Rabbi Nuchum Rosenberg, who has persistently ministered to the abused in his community, forced the issue into the public square through a call-in show and blog, and proudly stood in support of legislative reform in Albany for them. His dogged persistence has created a wedge in the community for justice, and survivors sorely in need of support have started to speak up.

Tempers were running high December of 2012 following the trial and guilty verdict of sick molester and esteemed counselor Rabbi Nechemya Weberman.

Rosenberg had been a victim of violence before, but the day after the Weberman verdict, Meilech Schnitzler approached Rosenberg and threw bleach in his face. But for the quick action of a person who threw a cup of water on Rosenberg’s face, he might be blind today.

In a move that has sent chills through the ultra-Orthodox survivor community, Thompson cut a deal with Schnitzler that will hardly deter future violence against the survivors’ advocates. Instead of serving the years in prison the crime should have earned, Schnitzler confessed to throwing the bleach on Rosenberg and received nothing but unsupervised probation. To quote Rosenberg, “Probation in our circles is a joke.” [...]

Schlesinger Twins: Is Dr. Schlesinger a psychiatrist? The errors (lies) of his supporters

The discussion concerning the Schlesinger twins has settled into a routine. I will post documents or material from court documents - and Dr. Schlesinger's supporters will respond either by making clearly false attacks on Beth or myself or they will present information which turns out to be inaccurate or false. One example from this week.

 On April 29 8:52 p.m. franzklammer one of Dr. Schlesinger supporters left a comment to the post "Schlesinger Twins: Does Michael's tragic family history...":

Indeed he [Dr. Schlesinger] is a psychaitrist now and opened a doctors office together with a colleague in the 4.th district. He has lots of patients which is easy here in vienna. Everyone has problems

 ==================
I received the following information about Dr Schlesinger's status as a psychiatrist in the 4th district. [If franzklammer has proof that he is in fact a psychiatrist - I will be glad to post it.]

Dr. Schlesinger is employed by the Otto Wagner Spital ("Steinhof"), the same as Dr. Földes, only Dr. Földes is responsible for liason with the Wilhelminensital down the road, where Dr. Schlesinger did at least part of his internship.

The General Medical Council does not have a record of his having a practice at all but they suggest that he might occasionally do a locum in a practice. His listed phone number is apparently where he can be reached at the hospital. The Otto Wagner Spital has only 3 depts: psychiatry, orthopaedics and pulmonology.

Psychiatrist are listed on this site-  http://www.praxisplan.at  (HE'S NOT LISTED HERE!)

List of psychiatrists in Vienna's 4th district

Dr. Oswin Wagner

Verhovnik Ulrike Dr

Aust Irene Dr

Butterfield-Meissl Christine Prim DDr

Gross Rainer Dr

Hein-Walcher Renate Dr

Kaiser Gerda Mag Dr

Kösten Michael OA Dr

Leitner Adelheid Dr

Meissl Christine DDr

Reisz Gerhard Dr

Schindler Shird-Dieter Prim Dr

Wörgötter Gabriele DDr

Ziegler Heidrun Dr

Leopold-Messer Günter Dr

Allan Katz: Collaborative talking and learning

 Allan Katz wrote:  Here is a short blog I did for a parenting site

http://tinyurl.com/na8a9rb

 Talking does not help, I wish I could get him to listen !

I am sure most of you are familiar with these words of desperation. I agree that talking does not help, but because the wrong people are doing the talking and listening. Kids should be doing the talking and reflecting and we the listening, guiding and challenging them with our questions.

 The CPS - Collaborative Problem Solving approach   process promotes relationship and many cognitive skills. But what happens if you try to gather information about his concerns and perspectives and the kid answers – I don't know. Here we need 'Drilling down techniques' to help us get a clear understanding of the kid's concerns. And what happens if the kid tells you to shut up or he does not want to talk about it, and then the CPS process would begin with ' I have noticed that when I want to talk to you about 'homework' you are not keen to talk to me about it- what's up? And if the kid still does not want to talk, we can focus on non-emotive general chatting. Here we can build trust and connection and also introduce the CPS language of concerns, perspective taking, mutually satisfactory solutions, family and individual goals. Kids don't talk because it may be a trust issue, they see the process as another way of parents imposing their will or find it difficult to articulate or even define their concerns.

Some parents complained to Barbara Coloroso that their son used to listen to them, but know he is involved in a bad crowd and he now listens to them. She answered – nothing has changed – he used to listen to you, now he is listens to them. When kids do the talking and reflecting they develop their own values. So let's listen to them so that they will talk to us.

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here is a 10 min youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aM11PG_rag

the ILC interdisciplinary learning collaborative shares what is happening in some progressive school , rather different than teaching focused on improving test scores

Suspected contamination of drinking water in southern, eastern neighborhoods of Jerusalem

Jerusalem Post     Residents of several neighborhoods in the southern and eastern part of Jerusalem must boil their drinking and cooking water for two minutes before use until further notice, the Health Ministry said at noon on Wednesday.

The reason is “a suspicion of contamination” of water supplies in Baka, Abu Tor, Talpiot, Tsur Baher, Silwan, Ras el-Amud, the Old City, Mamilla and Morasha (Musrara), the ministry said.

Do not use tap water for drinking, brushing teeth or “dealing with food” without first boiling the water for two minutes, the ministry said. The Gihon water consortium and the ministry are conducting checks to ensure the safety of the water, it added.

For more information, call the Gihon information number *2070.

Schlesinger Twins: Does Michael's tragic family history explain his cruelty to Beth? Part I

updated with Beth's father-in-laws testimony and prohibition to see grandchildren.
Just received the following letter from Beth Alexander in which she speculates about the basis for her husband's cruel campaign against her involvement with her children. I will be publishing additional information regarding this in another post.

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Last week the father wrote another spiteful letter to court denying the children greater access to their mother. He also insisted that the current arrangement whereby the handovers are done at a visiting centre every second Sunday and outside supermarkets on Tuesdays by a private person (former worker at the visiting centre) mustn't change and that I must continue to pay 50 Euro per visit.

He refuses to allow me to pick them up from the kindergarten because he claims I would 'disrupt their routine and calm' Why is he so afraid of me meeting the teachers and other parents? What is he trying to hide?

He refused the generous offer of Chief Rabbi Eisenberg to supervise the handovers for free because of the 'tension between them'.

He denied the twins weekends or overnights with their mother because he claims they need 'intensive therapy and I 'don't recognize their needs.'He said they need stability with 'the father and his family!' The children are mostly seen with the Filipinos. I wasn't aware that 2 Filipinos are part of the Schlesinger family.

Why, after almost 3 years, is he still hell bent on denying Sammy and Benji their mother?

I can only surmise that his own tragic family history explains much of his behaviour today. His own father fought a ten year battle just for visiting rights to Michael and his sister Tina. Michael's mother used the same tactics to deny him all contact. He missed out on their entire childhood. She poisoned the children against their father and to this day they still bear a searing hatred for a man they don't even know - they were 3 and 6 when their mother and her parents decided to dispose of Abraham Mandel. Is that what Michael is trying to repeat with me?

His actions contradict the statement he made to court in 2011 (before he was awarded custody):

'The children's father doesn't consider the mother his enemy...but he recognizes that painting a positive picture of the mother and allowing regular contact with the children is essential for the healthy development of his sons.'

Court application, 10.6.2011

'Der Kindesvater betrachtet die Kindesmutter nicht als seine Feindin...sondern anerkennt, dass ein positives Bild der Mutter und ein regelmaessiger Kontakt zu den Kindern ein wesentlicher Bestandteil fuer eine gesunde Entwicklung seiner Soehne ist.'

After we separated I established contact with my father-in-law, a kind, gentle man who like me, was denied his role as a parent to his children. I invited him to come regularly to visit his grandchildren, Sammy and Benji, whom he soon grew to love.

He witnessed the dramatic and poignant moment his son, whom he hadn't seen for over 30 years, cruelly and violently snatched his newly discovered grandchildren from their mother.

[ Abraham Mandel (aka Jonny) has provided the following written testimony concerning this event. This is translated from the German text is placed at the end of this post].

I hereby testify on oath with full knowledge of the penalty for untruthful testimony. On 26.7.2011 my daughter-in-law Beth Schlesinger called me and asked me to come urgently to her apartment because there was a court order that the children were to be taken away.

I came by taxi as quickly as possible. As I arrived, I met Rabbi Hofmeister, my daughter-in-law, her parents and the children outside the building. A woman I did not know suddenly appeared in the lobby. She was waving some papers. I was holding Benjamin in my arms. This unknown woman (the lawyer) pointed her finger at me and ordered me to leave the building.

l stood next to Rabbi Hofmeister, whose phone was ringing continually . The Rabbi held the phone to my ear and told me quietly that my son was hounding him with calls claiming that I had no right to be there to see the children being taken away. I could hear on the Rabbi's phone how hysterically he was screaming, that he couldn't remove the children as long as I was there. He constantly threatened he would immediately call the police unless I left the building. I told the Rabbi that I would not be intimidated. I wanted to be with my grandchildren one last time.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, my son together with my daughter stormed into the building and she started screaming hysterically at me: 'Get out of here! What do you want? You ruined my life!'

I stretched out my hands to calm her down but she kept screaming louder and louder, 'Get out! You ruined my life!' Then the following occurred: I passed by my son, he made a sudden movement and hit my toes with his foot. I was under the impression that it was deliberate and asked him whether this was a reaction or whether he had hurt me on purpose. He didn't answer.

Both children saw everything and were crying. They cried incessantly and reached out their arms to their mother who was herself in shock. My son, daughter and the unknown woman then quickly left.

The mother took the crying child and tried to calm him down. I went up to the apartment with Rabbi Hofmeister, my daughter-in-law and her parents. My daughter-in-law couldn't unlock the door. We were all shocked to discover that he (my son) had had the lock changed before he came to take the children away.

There was a note on the door saying that the new key was in the postbox. Beth's father collected it. The Rabbi went back down to the lobby. I went into the kitchen with my daughter-in-law and the children. Beth sat the children down and gave them dinner. The children calmed down and began to eat.

A short time later four policemen came to the door and ordered the children to be taken away immediately. I was watching the children eating. They were immediately taken out of the apartment

My daughter-in-law wanted to go with them to the front of the building to say goodbye. A policeman held her back and the others blocked her so unfortunately she couldn't move.

Beth's father and Rabbi Hofmeister took the children and carried them down the stairs. I accompanied them. The children began to cry again. My son simply grabbed them and quickly disappeared. The children's cries could be heard long after they left the building.

After Jonny saw the children during one of my visits shortly after Michael was awarded custody, he was so horrified at their pitiful neglected state that he registered a danger report with the Social Services to have the children immediately removed from their father's custody.

The Social Services, instead of doing an immediate unannounced house visit to Dr S, instead broke all rules of confidentiality. They called him up, informed him his father had called them and said they were coming over for a chat. I had no idea any of this had taken place and was meanwhile waiting at the visiting centre for my Tuesday visit. I was then informed the father was angry at me because he thought I'd colluded with his father and he denied me my visit.

After that he denied me 4 subsequent visits and refused to reinstate my contact with the children unless I promised not to allow my father-in-law to see his grandchildren ever again. If not, he threatened to cut off all my contact with the children.

In a court hearing, the judge, Goettlicher forced me, at Dr S's insistence, to sign a declaration forbidding me from granting the children's paternal grandfather any more access to his grandchildren. There was no justification whatsoever for this order. It was based on pure spite and baseless hatred.

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German text of Abraham Mandel (aka Jonny) -  Beth's father-in-law's-  testimony.