Despite changing norms and perceptions, premarital cohabitation still appears to be a risk factor for divorce (Rosenfeld & Roesler, 2019). This does not mean that every couple that lives together prior to marriage later divorces; nor does it suggest that not living together first guarantees stability. It simply looks at the group data at large and shows a trend between living together prior to marriage and subsequent separations. Across all years examined in this study, the odds of divorce were 1.31 times higher for women who cohabitated prior to marriage.
It also says that the first year is more risky for those who don't pre-cohabit.
ReplyDeleteSo perhaps a better solution, at least for the open minded, would be near cohabitation, ie living separated but gaining familiarity with how the other half lives. The question is what causes the spike in divorces in the first year , versus the later on Spike for those who cohabited?
Some theories:
The first year is a bit of a culture shock , the less experienced one is with the opposite sex.
Cohabitation with a lover, gives a false sense of security. So the first year shock is less of a problem. But casual cohabitation is also unhealthy - imagine a secular person living with 3 or 4 different partners before they decide to marry one of them.
BTW, this article does not mention pre marital sexual relations.
It's only very religious who don't indulge, whereas most modern secular do.
So it is very hard to determine the effects of this behavior, when virtually everyone is indulging in it.
I always found it fascinating. It seems logical that if you live together for a while and then get married, your risk of divorce should be lower. After all, you "tried out the merchandise before buying", right?
ReplyDeleteAfter a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend after they'd been living together for a couple of years a different thought occurred to me - some relationships have a shelf-life. Let's say it's five years. If you get married right away, you divorce in 5 years. If you shack up for 2 years and then get married, then you divorce in 3 years. The wedding date was just incidental.
(The weirdest was the couple in my practice years and years ago who kept coming in and telling me how miserable they were together. Then one day they came in and told me that they were getting married the coming weekend! I had to pick up my jaw from the floor from that one)