Sunday, January 10, 2021

Repentance for secretary having an affair with boss in office

Igros Moshe(O.C. 04:117) A woman worked in office and had inappropriate contact with a coworker. Regarding proper repentance for hugging and kissing and other disgusting behavior for a period of 6 months with a coworker while working as his secretary. It is now 4 years after you got married to a bal tshuva who is a ben Torah and truly G-d fearing and you haven’t repeated these acts and you are very broken hearted that it happened.  You should know that the essence of repentance is having great regret for what has happened and accepting never to do it again as we see in Rambam (Teshuva 2:2). Certainly confession in whispering to G-d is sufficient repentance together with the 4 Yom Kippurs that have occurred. However there is no question that you should do some deed to properly repent but since the wife is subservient to her husband and also has the responsibility of taking care of children and all this requires health and peace of mind therefore it is impossible to be involved in the affliction that would normally done. Rather you should work on strengthening  your faith in G-d that He sees and hears everything and nothing is concealed from Him. That will help you from doing anything wrong. It would also be good to say every day in any language you know well, that you know and believe this. You should also say Tehilim every day and if I you have time to divide it up so that you complete Tehilim every month. If you don’t have time than you should finish it every two months. It is a good idea to keep this up and it will also serve to increase the merit and thus the blessing in your house. Furthermore every Monday and Thursday you should silently say Vidoi but only from Our G-d to we have wronged You but not more than that. On erev Rosh Chodesh which is called Yom Kippur Koton, you should say the Vidoi of Rabbeinu Nissim which is printed in the Machzor of Yom Kippur and it is divided into 6 sections – but the fourth section which is for the sake of others don’t say because it is only said publically in synagogue.  All this should be done without an oath so that you will not transgress if you forget sometimes or you are prevented from saying for any reason. In addition you should decide that when your daughters grow up that you try to prevent them from working in an office so that they are not placed in such  temptation. The saying of saying vidoi on Monday and Thursday and erev Rosh Chodesh should be said until this coming Yom Kippur while the saying of Tehilim should continue indefinitely but without an oath. All the saying of Vidoi is to be said only before G-d but no one else should know about it. It is forbidden to publicize one’s sins.  You should also know that it is forbidden to be depressed but only should only have joy that you are merited to  repent and have a husband who is a talmid chachom. On Yom Kippur you will be able to have complete repentance from G-d. G-d should bless you and your husband with all good and peace, pleasure and happiness  from your children and your descendants should have G-d’s blessing

2 comments :

  1. https://www.chabad.org/kabbalah/article_cdo/aid/1879377/jewish/When-Caught-in-the-Middle.htm

    The Yismach Moshe, a famous chassidic rebbe, claimed to know his previous incarnations, including being in the generation of yetziat mizrayim.
    His grandson related the story that he even saw the conflict between Moshe rabbenu and korach, and advised his grandson never to take sides.
    Which betrays the entire story, and shows these claims to be fake and Sabbatean. How can anyone suggest that Korach was equal to Moshe, or that one should not take sides.? Korach was an early Sabbatean.
    Korach was just someone who had an inherited tribal position (like a chassidic rebbe). His end aptly describes the quality of person he was.
    Even the 13 ikkarim suggests that Moshe was a navi without equal.
    Its no surprise that satmar have their roots in fake Sabbatean chassidism.

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  2. Was the secretary already married when the affair took place?

    Do we know the details of whether there was only hugging, or the whole hog?
    How reliable is the person?
    Depression is forbidden - great , how does that knowledge help someone with depression?

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