https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/10/5/16379910/marriage-love-relationships-eli-finkel
We have goals, we have aspirations. We're reasonably proud of who we are, but we can think of ways that we can be better, more ambitious, more energetic, or maybe better at relaxing. We're trying to achieve those goals, and the reality is that humans aren't individual, isolated goal-pursuers. Our social relationships have profound influence on the extent to which we get closer to versus further from our ideal self.
The best marriages these days take that seriously. They take the responsibility for trying to help each other grow and live authentic lives to an extent that would have seemed bizarre in 1950.
The article has an interesting insight which may be true in other areas - that modern marriages are better than those of former times. Due to more leisure and sophistication in our time, people want more out of their marriages - to grow - and some people actually get it. The same applies to education. In the old days, the strap was sufficient. Today, education is more sophisticated and may be forming a superior bond than that of former times.
ReplyDeleteWhatever the general population go through, trickles through to Jews and even frum ones.
ReplyDeletePeople see and know more about the world, and are influenced by media and fashion. Today, a household item is disposable for a new one. 50 years ago, people would repair it several times.
But, 100 or 300 years ago, people may have had unhappy marriages but divorce wasn't always an option