The only clear expression that a wife is loved is
שמות פרק כא פסוק ה
וְאִם־אָמֹ֤ר יֹאמַר֙ הָעֶ֔בֶד אָהַ֙בְתִּי֙ אֶת־אֲדֹנִ֔י אֶת־אִשְׁתִּ֖י וְאֶת־בָּנָ֑י לֹ֥א אֵצֵ֖א חָפְשִֽׁי:
וְאִם־אָמֹ֤ר יֹאמַר֙ הָעֶ֔בֶד אָהַ֙בְתִּי֙ אֶת־אֲדֹנִ֔י אֶת־אִשְׁתִּ֖י וְאֶת־בָּנָ֑י לֹ֥א אֵצֵ֖א חָפְשִֽׁי:
a jewish thief sold into slavery
if he is married to a Jewish woman his master can give him a non jewish slave to breed other slaves
after 6 years if he declares he loves his master his non Jewish partner ans non Jewish children
he can remain as a slave with this master partner and children
why is there no place where the Torah talks about a man loving his Jewish wife and children?!
could not find any discussion in the commentaries!
Yevamos(62b): Our Rabbis taught: Concerning a man who loves his wife as himself, who
honours her more than himself, who guides his sons and daughters in the right
path and arranges for them to be married near the period of their puberty,
Scripture says, And thou shalt know that thy tent is in peace.49
according to Ramban is a Rabbinic decree
Rambam(Hilchos Ishus 15:19): And thus our Sages commanded that
a man should honor his wife more than himself and love him as himself. If he
has money he should increase her welfare according to the money. Furthermore he
should not place too much fear on her and he should speak with her pleasantly
and he should not be sad or angry.
Making of a Gadol (page 819) Yehiel-Yankev's talmid R' Pinhas Biberfeld: When the Alter tried to convince R' Weinberg not to separate from his wife, he responded, "Where is the drugstore which sells a potion for love?" It may be assumed that R' Weinberg's purpose in repeating this conversation to his talmid was to convey this very idea - that by making the attempt to get him to stay with his wife, the Alter had demonstrated that he did not grasp what degree of compatibility was expected between couples in the new times. Even the extreme forbearance that the Alter knew R' Weinberg was possessed of could not hold a relatively modem marriage together.
רש"ר הירש בראשית פרק כד פסוק סז
(סז) אף זו תכונה, אשר, ברוך ה', לא ניטשטשה בזרע אברהם ושרה, יצחק ורבקה! ככל שהוסיפה להיות אשתו, כן גדלה אהבתו! כדוגמת נישואין אלה של הבן היהודי הראשון, כן נוסדים הנישואין, רוב הנישואין בישראל, לא על יסוד התשוקה, אלא על פי שיקול התבונה. הורים וקרובים נמלכים בעצמם, אם הצעירים מתאימים זה לזו; משום כך גוברת האהבה, ככל שהם מרבים להתודע זה לזו. אך רוב הנישואין בעולם הלא - יהודי נגמרים על - פי מה שהם קוראים "אהבה", ואין לו לאדם אלא להציץ בתיאורי הנובילות הלקוחים מהחיים, כדי להיוכח מיד, מה רבה שם התהום בין ה"אהבה" שלפני הנישואין לבין זו שלאחריהם, איך הכל אחר - כך תפל וחסר טעם, מה שונה הכל מתיאור הדמיון, וכו'. "אהבה" זו היתה עוורת, ועל כל שעל בעתיד - אכזבה; לא כן הנישואין בישראל, שעליהם הוא אומר: ויקח את רבקה ותהי לו לאשה ויאהבה! שם החתונה איננה שיא הפריחה, אלא השורש לאהבה!
(סז) אף זו תכונה, אשר, ברוך ה', לא ניטשטשה בזרע אברהם ושרה, יצחק ורבקה! ככל שהוסיפה להיות אשתו, כן גדלה אהבתו! כדוגמת נישואין אלה של הבן היהודי הראשון, כן נוסדים הנישואין, רוב הנישואין בישראל, לא על יסוד התשוקה, אלא על פי שיקול התבונה. הורים וקרובים נמלכים בעצמם, אם הצעירים מתאימים זה לזו; משום כך גוברת האהבה, ככל שהם מרבים להתודע זה לזו. אך רוב הנישואין בעולם הלא - יהודי נגמרים על - פי מה שהם קוראים "אהבה", ואין לו לאדם אלא להציץ בתיאורי הנובילות הלקוחים מהחיים, כדי להיוכח מיד, מה רבה שם התהום בין ה"אהבה" שלפני הנישואין לבין זו שלאחריהם, איך הכל אחר - כך תפל וחסר טעם, מה שונה הכל מתיאור הדמיון, וכו'. "אהבה" זו היתה עוורת, ועל כל שעל בעתיד - אכזבה; לא כן הנישואין בישראל, שעליהם הוא אומר: ויקח את רבקה ותהי לו לאשה ויאהבה! שם החתונה איננה שיא הפריחה, אלא השורש לאהבה!
Orchos Tzadikim(Shaar 5 – Love): The love of women should be in the following manner. He should think that she is saving him from sin, and keeping him distant from adultery and through her he is fulfilling the mitzva of having children, and she raises his children, and she works for him the entire day, and she prepares food and other needs of the household. Because of her activities he is free to learn Torah and to be involved in other mitzvos. She is helping him to serve G‑d.
Kedushas Levi(Bereishis 224:67): And Yitzchok brought her into his mother’s tent and she became his wife and he loved her. What was the reason that the Torah tells us that Yitzchok loved Rivkah? A possible answer is based on the fact that there are two types of love a man has for a woman. The first type is the physical lust that a man has for a woman because he wants to satisfy his desires. Because this type of love is solely concerned with what he wants, it is actually not love for the woman at all but entirely love of himself. The second type is the love which is not concerned with satisfying his physical lusts but rather is because she is an instrument that enables him to fulfill the commands of his Creator – thus he loves her just as he loves the other mitzvos. This is called love of his wife. That is the meaning of “And Yitzchok loved her.” He had no thoughts regarding physical lust but only loved her because she enabled him to fulfill the mitzvos of G‑d.
Netziv(Bereishis 24:64): And Rivkah lifted her eyes – and she saw Yitzchok while he was still praying and he was at that moment like an angel of G‑d – extremely awesome. and she fell off her camel – Because of her great fear and awe. However she did not know who she was afraid of. If she had been sitting with Eliezer the servant on the same camel and she had been sitting behind him then she would have relaxed when she would have seen the man go and greet the servant and seen them talking together like all men. Then eventually when she would have been informed who it was – her fear would already have dissipated. But since she was sitting together with Eliezer she didn’t wait – but asked immediately who it was out of great fear. Who is that man - that makes me agitated and frightened? We see in Bereishis Rabbah that the term “that” implies someone fearsome and frightening. Therefore when she heard that it was her husband she took out her veil and covered her face out of her great fear and embarrassment because she realized she wasn’t fit to be his wife. From that moment on that fear was permanently planted in her heart and she was not able to have the relationship with Yitzchok that Sarah had with Avraham and Rachel had with Yaakov. In particular when the others objected to something their husbands had done they were not embarrassed to speak firmly with them. Rivkah was different. All of this served as a necessary preliminary to the events that would follow in Parshas Toldos when Yitzchok and Rivkah had strongly different views. Nonetheless Rivkah could not find the courage to stand up to Yitzchok and defend her views – even though it was true that Esav was a fraud. The same thing happened at the time of giving the berachos. In fact all of this was the means by which G‑d caused the berachos to be given to Yaakov in this manner as we will explain later. All was done with Divine Providence from the beginning - that Rivkah should arrive when Yitzchok was praying and thus she should see him as an awesome and frightening spectacle – it all happened according to G‑d’s Will.
Rav S. R. Hirsch(Bereishis 24:67):... A man’s love for his wife grows with time. An example is the marriage of the son of the first Jew. This is the way it is with the majority of Jewish marriages. They are not built on the basis of lust (cheshek) but rather on careful deliberations. The parents and relatives make the decision as to whether these young people are compatible with each other. As a consequence of this objective compatibility, love grows with the marriage as the couple spends more time together. In contrast the majority of non-Jewish marriages in the world are based on what they call “love”. One has only to look around to have clear proof that there is a great chasm between the “love” prior to marriage and that which exists after the marriage. One sees how quickly things change after marriage and are so different than what people imagined they would be. This “love” is blind and false. In contrast the Jewish marriages are described by this verse, “And he took Rivkah and he married her and he came to love her.” The Jewish wedding is not the result of the flowering of love but is the cause of it.
Rav Chaim Paltiel(Bereishis 24:67): And Yitzchok loved her This statement of the Torah is surprising – does that mean that originally he hated her? A possible answer is when he had the first sexual intercourse with her - he did not find signs of virginity. That was becasue she had fallen off the camel when she first saw him and this caused her to lose the signs of virginity and therefore she had the halachic status of one was lost the signs because of a physical blow (muchas eitz) – not because of intercourse. As a result of not finding the signs of virginity he hated her because he suspected that she had had relations with other men. She protested that she had done nothing wrong with any man. Eliezar also defended her innocence of wrong doing. She explained that when she fell of the camel, the force had caused her to lose the signs of viriginity. She added, “Perhaps G-d will do a miracle and I will find the signs of virginity.” They went to the field where she had fallen and they found the signs of virginity on a stone and a dove was sitting on them in order to preserve them from the sun.
Netziv(Bereishis 24:67): And he loved her – This that it says that he married Rivka is not proof that he loved her. That is because he was forced to marry her since it was not easy to find a virgin specifically from his family. Therefore it was necessary for the Torah to inform us explicitly that in fact he found a special loving relationship with her that led to his being comforted from the distress of the death of his mother.
Yad Rama(Sanhedrin 76b): The braissa says that if a man loves his wife as himself – that means that he should have mercy on her as he is merciful to himself but more than himself is not relevant. That is because love is something which is in the heart and a person is not able to love another more than he loves himself. However regarding honor that is something for which it is possible that he can honor her more than himself with clothing which is nicer than what he gets for himself.
