Why Jewish leaders want abusers to pay: The Torah tells us it is never too late to pursue justice

 update   Arutz 7

Orthodox activists ask NY to change sex abuse reporting laws

Activists and victims to lobby New York's state capital demanding statute of limitations be lifted for child sex abuse.

 

Advocates for sexual abuse victims in the Orthodox Jewish community will be descending on New York's state capital on May 3 to lobby the legislature to eliminate the statute of limitations for child sex abuse offenses. A bill to change the statute of limitations has languished for years in a state legislative committee committee, due in large part to opposition from the Catholic Church and Agudath Israel of America.
The bill, known as the Child Victims Act, would "completely eliminate the civil statute of limitations for child sex abuse offenses in the future," according to SOL Reform, an advocacy group that is sponsoring a series of panels and news conferences May 3 and 4.
It would also suspend the civil statute of limitations for one year, during which time the accuser could bring a civil lawsuit against a private educational organization no matter how far back the alleged abuse dates.
While the bill passed the New York State Assembly, it has been blocked in the State Senate in the decade since it was introduced.
 

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 update to update: The comment below was not written by Zvi Gluck of Amudim nor was it meant to convey the message that abusers should not be reported to the police or that abusers should not go to jail.

update: just received the following critical comment against this article for publication from someone who deals the child abuse and its consequences on a regular basis
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I was, and still am, opposed completely to the proposed Markey Law in NYS. It would have satisfied only the senseless, bloodthirsty fanatics who call themselves advocates, and falsely claim to save neshamos.  That law would have accomplished nothing.

For abuse, there is a built in limitation, called time.  Once at a certain point in time, presenting evidence becomes difficult, if not close to impossible.  No one can be blamed for that – it is part of the creation that HKB”H fashioned.  Even memories become less reliable, and may not be enough to convict.  Yes, Hashem created a metziyus that would prevent someone from being charged and convicted.  No legislature needs to make that into law, and those that do are blasphemous in trying to claim the metziyus for themselves.

There is, yet, another factor that must be considered.  The role of publicity.  Today, if someone makes a claim publicly against someone, it is not even tried in the court of public opinion, it is granted automatic conviction.  That has been exploited by the “advocates” who are obsessed with destroying people.  I count myself among those who are comfortable with exiling pedophiles to a child free island.  If they expire there, there is rarely a loss for mankind. I am not nice about that.

But the ease with which someone’s life can be destroyed is not okay. The advocates are drunk with glee when there is an accusation to make.  No investigation, no verification.  And, yes, there are plenty of false claims.  I have encountered plenty of them.  It is not uncommon for parents to create the claim, when the children never suggested it.  I don’t know percentages, and frankly do not care. False claims If we allow falsehood to become part of law, it trashes the credibility of the truth.

My two cents. I do not think this should get published.Simple reason – it will trigger the “advocates”, and this will divert the thread into a war.

There is a new organization called Amudim.  For a change, it is dedicated to the welfare of the child, assisting in multiple ways. There is no focus on the media.  It is a welcome (sadly needed) service to Klal Yisroel.

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NY Daily News

The famous joke goes: two Jews, three opinions. Yet last week, more than 100 Jewish leaders from across the religious and ideological divides came together, with one voice, to declare their support for statute of limitations reform for child abuse victims in New York State.

Why statute of limitations reform, and why are Jewish leaders lining up behind this bill? Because it’s our obligation as men and women of faith who purport to help people heal. And it is, I believe, our obligation as followers of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

After decades of denial, cover-ups and darkness, the light is finally shining on the scourge of child sexual abuse. Today, we better understand the high rate of its prevalence, the lasting and far-reaching damage caused by abusers, and the extreme difficulty survivors face in coming forward and seek justice. Tragically, New York State’s regressive laws prevent many victims from getting the justice they deserve and from stopping abusers from causing more harm.

While mental health experts have shown that it can take decades for a victim of child sexual abuse to overcome the fear, shame and trauma of abuse and come forward, our statutes allow someone to pursue criminal or civil justice only until the victim turns 23.

As a rabbi, I have met people in their 40s, 50s and 60s who are only now coming to grips with what happened to them as children, and only now able to come forward. New York law fails these victims by giving a victim only five years from the time they enter adulthood to act.

New York state has been ranked among the very worst, alongside Mississippi, Alabama and Michigan, for how the courts and criminal justice system treat survivors of child sex abuse.[...]

https://www.change.org/p/rabbi-david-zwiebel-agudath-israel-stop-blocking-passage-of-child-victims-act 

Petitioning Executive Vice President, Agudath Israel of America Rabbi David Zwiebel and 2 others

Agudath Israel: Stop Blocking Passage of Child Victims Act

Jewish Community Watch

Dear Rabbi Zwiebel, Mr. Werdiger and Rabbinic Leaders of Agudath Israel:

We respectfully join in writing to you regarding the Child Victims Act and to express our grave concerns for child safety given Agudath Israel's past and current dangerous actions. 

The Child Victims Act, also known as the Markey Bill, sponsored by Assemblywoman Margaret Markey (D-Queens) seeks to eliminate time limits in criminal and civil cases of child sexual abuse. 

New York's archaic statute of limitations sharply limits the time victims have to bring charges against a molester. A victim must come forward within five years after the age of 18 to bring criminal or civil charges against their abuser or any agency or organization that should have reported the crime.

Given the emotional and psychological devastation that victims of child sexual abuse endure they are often slow to come to grips with their past. Some are unable to do so until middle age or even later in life but certainly not before the age of 23. Furthermore, in our religious communities, this critical age (18-23) is a time when young people are seeking a suitable spouse (shiduchim) creating an especially vulnerable situation where victims of abuse may be reticent to come forward with charges regarding the abuse suffered. Thusly, New York's current statute of limitations supported by Agudath Israel protects predators and those who shield them, while often denying justice to their victims.

The passage of the Child Victims Act is not only essential for the healing of past victims; it is crucial in ensuring the safety of other children. Many studies indicate that sex offenders will victimize on average over 100 individuals over the course of their lives. This bill intends to suppress this frightening statistic and prevent further harm from being perpetrated towards new victims.

It has been recently reported in Newsweek and NY Daily News that Agudath Israel has teamed up with the Catholic Church, an institution infamous for covering up child sexual abuse, to aggressively lobby against the passage of the Markey Bill on numerous occasions over the last decade.  

Furthermore, this April the NY Daily News reported that Agudath Israel is currently opposed to any civil or criminal changes in the law in NY, fearing a flood of lawsuits. A sexual abuse insurance policy can be purchased by institutions to aid against any lawsuits that may arise. However, it ought to be of prime importance to support the victims rather than the perpetrators of heinous crimes. 

Currently, the Child Victims Act being considered is comprised of two separate bills - one eliminating statute of limitations for criminal cases and one addressing civil cases. We urge you to support passage of the Markey Bill in its entirety or at least the passage of the criminal bill. If these steps require moral courage not yet gained, at the very least cease from lobbying against this Act that can prevent child sexual abuse and save countless precious lives.

In closing, in line with the Torah's commandment in Leviticus 19:16, admonishing Jews to “not stand by while your neighbor’s blood is being shed,” we respectfully urge you to do all in your power to deter abusers and prevent harm from being perpetrated towards our children.

Thank you and respectfully,

This petition will be delivered to:

• Executive Vice President, Agudath Israel of America

• Rabbi David Zwiebel
• Chairman of the Board, Agudath Israel of America

• Mr. Sol Werdiger
• Chairman Emeritus, Agudath Israel of America

• Rabbi Gedaliah Weinberger

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Read the letter

How a community of Columbian Catholics decided that they wanted to be Jews

California Sunday

René and Juan Carlos set out to convert their Colombian megachurch to Orthodox Judaism. This is what happened.

In 1998, the Colombian government reported that 3,800 young men had died violently in Bello during the previous decade. The finding prodded authorities to show that they were doing something to address the problem. A young psychologist went to the mayor with a proposal: Gather Bello’s worst and best and send them to the Negev Desert in Israel, far away from their violent environment. Then: instant resocialization. The mayor liked the idea and recruited youth leaders, among them René and the feuding bosses

René spent the first half of the trip as Fredy’s roommate, the second half as Marcelino’s. The group played soccer, drank beer, and talked about their lives while sitting by the light of a bonfire in the desert. By the end, Fredy and El Negro shook hands, and René immersed them in the Jordan River to signal their rebirth. Just before they headed home, the sicarios warned René and the others: If they told anyone what had been said by the fire, they’d be dead men. [...]

The same year René went to Israel, Juan Carlos and Puerta were invited to France to tour Pentecostal churches for a month. The French Pentecostal movement was small. Its leaders looked to Latin American pastors for inspiration. It was Juan Carlos’s first trip to the First World. Grateful and impressed, the French organizers presented the pastors with a ten-day trip to Israel.

The two arrived for the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, which evangelicals celebrate as the Feast of Tabernacles. They toured the major Christian sites: the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the Mount of Olives, the Church of the Transfiguration. They were captivated by the landscape; the setting of the biblical tales came alive for them. But nothing impressed them more than a Feast of Tabernacles festival organized by Messianic Jews. [...

Juan Carlos was watching a new kind of evangelical in action. Messianic Jews were Christians who claimed a Jewish identity. They wore traditional religious Jewish garments, such as kippot, or skullcaps, and tzitzit, the knotted tassels of thread that symbolize the commandments. They called their pastors rabbis. This was Judaism with Jesus Christ in it. The Colombians were mesmerized. In their Pentecostal interpretation of the Bible, love for Israel and the Jews earned special blessings. They had read, for instance, in Numbers 6:27, “And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them.” The Messianic Jews were opening the door to a more profound connection with the Jewish people. [...]

His experience in Israel was all he could think about. What he had seen there felt closer to the truth. He slowly steered the Iglesia Cristiana para la Familia toward Messianism, changing the title of pastor to rabbi, persuading men to wear kippot and tzitzit, emphasizing the Jewishness of Jesus, the idea that Jesus had been a rabbi himself. The more he did this, though, the more he questioned the dogma of Jesus as the Messiah. If Jesus had been just a rabbi, then how could he be the son of God?

In early 2004, Juan Carlos returned to Jerusalem with Puerta. They stood by the Wailing Wall and searched for Orthodox rabbis who spoke Spanish. When they found a few, the pastors pummeled them with questions. How do you explain the Jewish Messiah? Why did the Jews not accept Jesus? How do you interpret the Messianic prophecies? Was the Messiah God? Was he man?

Juan Carlos was impressed by these rabbis and their answers. They were nothing like the pastors he had known. [...] Juan Carlos went back to Bello a converted man. Puerta agreed: Messianism was a meaningless hybrid. They had to embrace Judaism. If the congregation would not accept such a radical course, Juan Carlos was ready to leave and start over</ Puerta tried to slow him down, but Juan Carlos felt that waiting was dishonest. In the first assembly upon their return, before 3,000 faithful, he took responsibility for what he’d done. He had lied. He had exploited their needs and hopes. He had failed as a pastor. And the ultimate lie was Jesus himself: He was not a god; he was not the Messiah. Juan Carlos did not believe in him anymore. [...]Most of its members left to find a new church or abandoned religion altogether. Yet, to Juan Carlos’s surprise, 600 parishioners declared that they trusted him and would follow him into Judaism. Among them was René.

But how to be a Jew?

Juan Carlos had no idea. Neither did René.[...]With the sole guidance of books, Juan Carlos introduced the most critical changes to the congregation: Shabbat, kashrut (dietary restrictions), and circumcision. Members stopped working on Saturdays, though for months they continued to play music, take photographs, and pursue a number of activities that were prohibited. Pork and shellfish were banned; meat and milk were no longer mixed.[...]

It took four years, until 2009, to complete a process that was as much “Christian detoxification,” in René’s words, as it was Judaization. Most found it impossible. Of the 600 original aspiring Jews, only 200 remained. Garrandes introduced them to Moshe Ohana, an Orthodox Moroccan rabbi and a kabbalist also based in Miami. He was willing to convert them. Ohana asked the community to pay his fee in dollars for each conversion as well as cover his expenses. The congregants raised the money once again and paid, as they had paid for everything else: airplane tickets and lodging for rabbis, books, the Sefer Torah, kosher food, circumcisions. It turned out that becoming Jewish was expensive.  [...]

After two failed rabbis, Elad decided to do what he had always done when faced with a challenge: take on the job himself. The opportunity presented itself when David and Yitzhak Goldstein, two ultra-Orthodox Israeli rabbis, arrived at the synagogue in late 2012. They were canvassing Colombia in search of young men to bring to Israel as students for Diaspora Yeshiva, the Torah studies center they owned in Jerusalem. “My interest is to fill up Israel with Jewish people who identify themselves with the State of Israel as a Jewish state and Torah as their religion,” Yitzhak Goldstein says. He and his brother were looking at South America as a new “market.”

Becoming a rabbi usually requires five years and fluency in Hebrew, but the Goldsteins told Elad he would only have to attend for a minimum of two years and could study primarily in Spanish. Elad, who by then was married and the father of two children, replied he could not abandon his family and congregation for such a long period. He needed to complete everything in one year. The Goldsteins agreed. After ten months of little sleep, two meals a day, and sharing a small room with eight other students, Elad returned to Medellín in December 2013 with a rabbinical title.[...]

A decade into their Jewish lives, the converts of Bello were at the center of a larger story. Millions through­out Latin America have abandoned Catholicism, the faith of their parents. For almost 500 years, the church had maintained a monopoly on their souls. In the 1960s, 90 percent of the population was Catholic. That figure has now dropped to 69 percent. Most of the apostates moved toward evangelicalism, but a smaller, less visible cohort chose Judaism.

The Jews of Bello are the best organized, but they are not the only group that has transitioned from Catholicism to evangelicalism to Judaism. There are at least 60 such communities at different stages of conversion in Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, El Salvador, the Dominican Republic, Venezuela, Ecuador, Peru, Brazil, Chile, and Bolivia. Even in Colombia, Bello is not unique. Thirty similar communities have emerged across the country. Some are just starting; others have been practicing for years.[...]

In his desire to immigrate, Shlomo found an ally in Shavei Israel, a controversial right-wing organization best known for sponsoring the migration to Israel of the Bnei Menashe, a group from northeast India who claim to be descended from one of the ten lost tribes of Israel. Shavei Israel is an advocate for a Greater Israel, the belief that the West Bank and Gaza are part of the State of Israel by divine right.

Michael Freund, Shavei Israel’s founder and director, is an Orthodox Jew who was raised on New York’s Upper East Side and moved to Israel in 1995. Less than two years later, he became deputy communications director in Binyamin Netanyahu’s first administration. It was during his tenure that he discovered the Bnei Menashe and became the main champion of the dispersed Jews of the world — not only the alleged descendants of the lost tribes but all sorts of hidden Jews, former Jews, and wannabe Jews — helping several thousand to become Israelis.

He had no interest in Colombia until Shavei Israel’s educational director came back from touring Latin America in 2013 with news that tens of thousands from the region wanted to migrate. This got Freund’s attention. He sent a rabbi to Colombia to live in Bello and the other new communities. The rabbi spent months preparing a list of candidates for migration. Shlomo was at the top. He was one of the most articulate and experienced among the converts, and with his street smarts, the rabbi concluded, he would have no problem adapting to Israel. [...]

Shlomo was unaware of the complex efforts required to get him to Israel. The Chief Rabbinate’s intransigence had turned the Jewish Agency into Shavei Israel’s unexpected ally. The agency was considering bypassing the Chief Rabbinate’s authority and establishing an independent Orthodox rabbinical court to perform conversions overseas. In order to “test the waters,” as one person put it, the agency approved a handful of Orthodox overseas conversions not sanctioned by the Chief Rabbinate. Shlomo and his family were part of the group. Not long after, the agency went ahead and approved the creation of the new Orthodox rabbinical court. Reacting as if war had been declared, the Chief Rabbinate made it known that the conversions would not be recognized. [...]

A Palestinian tanker truck turned over Friday - Palestinian drivers also kill Palestinians

YNET

Five Palestinians were killed on Friday, when a tanker truck flipped over on Highway 35 north of Hebron, and collided with another vehicle. Both automobiles also caught fire.

Binah Magazine writer criticizes the view that authority must not be questioned - even if corrupt and against halacha

I just came across the letters section in the current Binah magazine. It clearly is relevant to the Kaminetsky- Greenblatt Heter for Tamar Epstein. A reader strongly attacks  Binah for publishing a story in which the school principal was corrupt and did things against the Torah - and the heroine was the school secretary who obtained guidance from her rav how to deal with it. This reader's point  being that one does not raise the possibility in students minds that the principal can make mistakes that one needs to do something about it. Furthermore she asserts that it is
wrong to question the system - but rather we must ignore these
corrupt deviations.[disclaimer - I did not read the story]. I was very impressed by the response of the story's writer - and for Binah for publishing the original story and the author's response presented below.

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Sara Wiederblank responds:

Dear Fellow Teacher,

I am glad to have this opportunity to discuss my intentions when writing The Secretary. The point I was trying to make is this: When
someone in authority fails to live up to his or her sacred charge, what are the bystanders to do? For some of those among us who have experienced the tragedy of failed leadership, the trauma of these discoveries is so great that they are left doubting the entire system. This serial was intended to show the responsibilities and potential of the average bystander, and also to demonstrate that when the halachic process is followed, the community's good can be served and we can all emerge from the experience whole and proud. 

 You claim that what the principal did was "quite minor" and perhaps "grossly blown out of proportion." I disagree. Lifnei iver lo siten michshol charges an advisor to only provide advice that is in the best interests of the seeker. Mrs. Hertzberg failed to do that most egregiously. Not only was she swayed by her own negios, she actively lied to pursue her own agenda. This is unacceptable in a leader and is not mitigated by her many years of outstanding service.

In fact, the Torah warns us against the likelihood that we will be hesitant to approach wayward leaders because of their history of impeccable service. In the topic of navi sheker, the false prophet, the Torah warns us not to be swayed by the man's Illustrious history of prophecy (see Ohr  Hachaim on Devarim 13:3).

Moreover, I take issue with your claim that it is terrible to allow the possibility for students to ever question authority.

I agree with your concern that people might rush to issue such judgments on their own educational leaders. This is a legitimate concern that I have kept in mind throughout writing this serial, and because of its seriousness I worked in close consultation with Binah's content director.

I hope that no one uses this story as an excuse to declare open hunting season on their own mechanchos. However, that concern is one side of a coin; the other side is passively standing by while corruption rules. That, too, is a tragic situation that this serial addresses.

You suggest that the goal of the serial was to please people who would think, "Good! Finally someone is putting the principal in her place." I certainly hope that there weren't many readers who felt this way. Indeed, I have gotten a lot of feedback from people who sympathized with Mrs. Hertzberg, and realized that she was not an evil person, merely a complex person with a mixture of good and bad, as most of us are. She is not a villain whom we rejoiced in trouncing. However, she  needed to be checked - and she was.

You also claim that going to the Rav was inappropriate and made the situation a bigger deal than was necessary. However, Ariella behaved correctly. Lo saamod al dam rei'acha demands that if you see something, you say something, to the appropriate  party, as Ariella did, 

I would like our readership to be aware that Ariella's actions were guided by my consultation with two Rabbanim, and Rabbi Eisen's response was based on their explanations of how a Torah leader should handle claims such as Ariella's. I included his detailed explanation to show readers that this is a Torah matter and has to be handled by daas Torah.

Certainly, Rabbi Eisen acknowledged the possibility that nothing untoward happened - this was no witch hunt - but the Torah demanded that he properly investigate, to avoid innocent people being hurt , I don't see how going to a Rav with a serious concern could ever it be construed as "over-responding"': it is the responsible thing for a Torah Jew to do when faced potentially serious concern.

The fact that Ariella is the heroine of this story should not detract from the daily heroism of our teachers and principals. To point to one failed leader is not to condemn them all. Is is because we so revere our leaders that we need guidance as to live with the possiblity that one of their members is perhaps not what we had hoped.

 

May we always maintain our respect for our leaders, and maintain our discernment for retzon Hashem 

Sincerely,

Sara Wiederblank

Mindfulness therapy works as well as anti-depressant drugs, major new study finds

Independent

Therapy based on the controversial concept of ‘mindfulness’ works as well as some anti-depressant drugs, according to a major new study.

Inspired in part by Buddhist philosophy, mindfulness involves training the brain to deal with negative emotions using techniques such as meditation, breathing exercises and yoga.

Some critics have claimed mindfulness techniques can bring on panic attacks and lead to paranoia, delusions or depression.

But the new study – the largest-ever analysis of research on the subject - found mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) helped people just as much as commonly prescribed anti-depressant drugs and that there was no evidence of any harmful effects.

People suffering from depression who received MBCT were 31 per cent less likely to suffer a relapse during the next 60 weeks, the researchers reported in a paper in the journal JAMA Psychiatry.

House committee votes to require women to register for draft

Washington Post

The House Armed Services Committee approved a measure Wednesday requiring women to register for the military draft, a move that comes just a few months after the Defense Department lifted all gender-based restrictions on front-line combat units.

In a twist that presages how contentious further debate may be, the author of the amendment voted against his own measure. It passed the committee by a vote of 32-30.

Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif., a former Marine who served three combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, doesn’t support drafting women into combat and he’s opposed to opening infantry and special operations positions to women. He said he offered the measure to trigger a discussion about how the Pentagon’s decision in December to rescind gender restrictions on military service failed to consider whether the exclusion on drafting women also should be lifted. [...]

Rep. Jackie Speier, D-Calif., said she supported Hunter’s measure.

“I actually think if we want equality in this country, if we want women to be treated precisely like men are treated and that they should not be discriminated against, we should be willing to support a universal conscription,” she said. [...]

Hunter’s amendment will be included in the defense policy bill that authorizes the defense budget for the fiscal year that begins Oct. 1. The full House will take up the bill soon.

Pesach- Acharie Mot 76 – Aaron and the 4 Keys of Well-Being by Allan Katz

Allan Katz

For some, happiness and well-being is a goal in life. For Torah Jews, this is in a sense a preoccupation with the ' self' and that happiness and well-being should rather be viewed as a vehicle for becoming greater, kinder and more compassionate human beings. Dr Richard Davidson says that neuroscientists show that we can change our brains –due to the plasticity of the brain – by creating more, new and stronger neural circuits by using the keys or skills for well- being in a deep and emotional way. The 4 keys are Resilience, Outlook, Attention and Generosity. It seems that Aaron the High Priest is the Torah's role model for these well-being keys.

Resilience – Resilience is the rapidity with which people recover from adversity. People who show a more rapid recovery in key neural circuits have higher levels of well-being. The problem is that our brains have a negativity bias to cope with threats and avoid danger. The brain sucks in negative interactions and their impact on the brain is said to be 5 times more powerful than positive experiences. We don't only suffer from negative experiences, but we tend to self –inflict, brood over it for the rest of the day, becoming more negativistic, stressed out, depressive, pessimistic and self- critical. Self-compassion is a skill that helps people recover and get back on track. People who see mistakes, falling and failure as opportunities for growth turn these negative experiences into positive experiences and when they repent and do Teshuva they can transform negative actions into positive actions. Aaron lost his 2 sons during the inauguration ceremony of the Tabernacle. Moses consoled Aaron and Aaron's response was to accept the Divine decree and remain silent- וידם אהרן. In order to deal with painful situations, we have to first accept the new reality. This liberates us emotionally – and instead of fighting reality, we are now in a position to be creative in handling the new situation.

Outlook – This refers to the ability to see the positive in others, their innate basic goodness, the positive side of situations and events and the ability to take positive facts and convert them into deep emotional experiences which people savor and enjoy. We also see the ' hidden miracles ' in our personal and national worlds as the Ramban explains – the great and open miracles particularly those from the exodus from Egypt teach us to look for the hidden miracles in our lives. Aaron had a compassionate approach to people. He had the ability to see the good in each person, convey it to others and also ascribe more positive attributes and motives to people's negative actions. In this way, he was able to resolve conflict, make peace between people and in this way he engaged people during Golden calf episode.

Attention. A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Instead of being mindful, connected and attentive, a large amount of people's waking life is spent not paying attention, going through physical motions in an automatic way, doing things just to get something else - reach a milestone or pass a test as there is nothing intrinsically valuable in what we are doing, and therefore we are not connected to what we are doing etc.,. The Mitzvoth we do become – מצוות אנשים מלומדה - without any emotional input, automatic and in a rote manner. When it comes to our personal interactions we should focus on deep listening and being present with the other person, and also read their non-verbal messages. Paying attention and being mindful are skills that were never taught to people. But what makes the situation worse is routine and doing things out of habit. Aaron is warned – ואל יבוא בכל עת אל הקודש – not to enter the Holy of Holies on Yom Kippur at all times of the day but only when he carries out the sacrificial service of the day. The Divine spirit rests there and Aaron should not make entering there, a habit, but be mindful of the holiness of the place and the presence of the Divine spirit. The same idea is expressed by the commandment that on the festivals people should not leave temple using the gate that they entered the temple. Familiarity breeds contempt if we are not careful to invest in relationships and quality of our actions.

Generosity –When individuals engage in generous and altruistic behavior, they actually activate circuits in the brain that are key to fostering well-being. These circuits get activated in a way that is more enduring than the way they would respond to other positive incentives such as winning a game or earning a prize. The Rambam says something similar -– we experience true joy and happiness, when we act in a generous and altruistic way and have needy people at our festive meals. Aaron not only promoted peaceful relationships between people, but was very generous in the way he approached and received people, which changed their self-worth and self-esteem.

When we interact with our children, we should be aware that we are building the neural circuits for well –being or enhancing neural structures that are negative and aggressive. By giving our kids the 4 well-being keys Resilience, Outlook, Attention and Generosity we are helping them to become better and happier people who are also concerned with the happiness and well-being of others.

Investigating child abuse in Chabad schools - The Leonard Lopate Show

Arsenic, rice and your baby’s diet

WHNT TV

Ask any mom or dad to name their baby’s first food. The likely answer? Rice cereal. What’s a common go-to “healthy” snack for toddlers and kiddos? Rice cakes.

Yet a growing amount of scientific evidence is pointing to an alarming connection between inorganic arsenic in brown and white rice and harm to children’s immune systems and intellectual development.

Concentrations of arsenic were twice as high in the urine of infants who ate white or brown rice than those who ate no rice, according to research published Monday in JAMA Pediatrics. Arsenic levels were highest in babies who ate rice cereal, often given several times a day to introduce babies to solids.

In April, the FDA proposed a limit of 100 parts per billion of inorganic arsenic in infant rice cereal. That proposal is still in the public comment phase. The European Food Safety Authority has already moved to limit inorganic arsenic in rice products to that level.

“Arsenic is a known carcinogen that can influence risk of cardiovascular, immune and other diseases,” said Margaret Karagas, an epidemiologist who studies the effects of toxic metals at Dartmouth College, and the lead researcher on the new study. “There’s a growing body of evidence that even relatively low levels of exposure can have an adverse impact on young children.” [...]

Arsenic is a natural element found in soil, water and air, with the inorganic form being the most toxic. (“Inorganic” is a chemical term and has nothing to do with the method of farming.) Because rice is grown in water, it is especially good at absorbing inorganic arsenic and, according to the Food and Drug Administration, has the highest concentration of any food. [...]

And in this case, brown and wild rice are the worst offenders, because the bleaching process used to create white rice removes the outer hull, where much of the arsenic concentrates. [...]

Pediatrician Tanya Altmann, author of “What to Feed Your Baby: A Pediatrician’s Guide to the 11 Essential Foods to Guarantee Veggie-Loving, No-Fuss, Healthy-Eating Kids,” said she’s changed her guidance on first foods. She recommends “tossing white rice cereal, as there is little nutritional benefit and it simply primes young palates for a lifetime of eating white carbs, not to mention the arsenic issue, which this study confirms.”

She echoes the advice of the American Academy of Pediatrics, which advises parents to offer a wide variety of foods including grains such as oats, barley, wheat and quinoa.

“Best first foods for infants are avocado, pureed veggies, peanut-butter oatmeal and salmon,” Altmann said. “They all provide important nutrients that babies need, help develop their taste buds to prefer healthy food and may decrease food allergies.”

Rabbi Marc Schneier resigning, reportedly under pressure

Arutz 7

Rabbi Marc Schneier, one of New York’s higher-profile spiritual leaders, is resigning from The Hampton Synagogue in Westhampton Beach after 26 years, with one report saying he was leaving under pressure.

Schneier, 57, went public with his decision to step down this summer from the Orthodox synagogue he founded in a letter emailed to congregants earlier this month. In the letter, the rabbi said he “wants to dedicate more time and resources to my work to strengthen relations between Muslims and Jews.” The New York Jewish Week published the letter on its website. [...]

However, the New York Post reported Sunday that Schneier resigned "under pressure from well-heeled synagogue members threatening to withhold pledges and payments until he was off the pulpit."

Last June, Schneier was expelled from the Rabbinical Council of America following an ethics inquiry into his behavior prompted by reports in the New York tabloids that he had had an extramarital affair with a woman, Gitty Leiner, who in 2013 became his fifth wife. [...]

Saudi family therapist gives advice on wife beating

Arutz 7   Saudi therapist, Khaled Al-Saqaby, claims women's desire for equality causes marital strife.

Saudi family therapist Khaled Al-Saqaby has provided strange advice on marital strife, in an online video footage salvaged and translated by the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI).

According to Al-Saqaby, beating one's wife should be intended as a means of discipline, rather than to vent one's anger, and should be carried out not with a rod or a sharp object, but with a tooth-cleaning twig or a handkerchief.

"Unfortunately, some wives want to live a life of equality with their husband," he said. "This is a very grave problem."

The Torah was concerned that the holy cohen gadol at the holiest moment of the year would lust for a married women and pray that her husband die

As we have noted a number of times before - the baalei mussar make a point of saying that the sins of great people are minor things which are described in an exaggerated manner because they are held to a more severe standard than everyone else.

Rav Silberstein notes a case which seems to strongly go against this view and in fact fits in clearly with the statement that the greater the person - the greater is his yetzer.

The Torah (Vayikra 21:14) tells us that a cohen gadol can not marry either a widow or a divorcee. The question is why? He notes that this question was asked by the Baalei Tosfos [the only source I could find is an attribution to Rav Yehuda HaChasid but I couldn't find it in Sefer Chasidim]. The answer they give is astounding and it illustrates the power of the yetzer harah.

"Because the Cohen Gadol would mention the special name of G-d, there was a danger that he might have lust for a married women and he would use the opportunity to wish for the death of her husband. Consequently the Torah prohibited him from marrying a widow and only allowed a virgin"

These astounding words have to be fully understood. We are talking about the holy cohen gadol who was more holy than all the other Jews. He is now standing in the most holy part of the Temple at the holies part of the year - Yom Kippur. And it is specifically at the time that he is mentioning G-d's special name. Is there any situation which surpasses this holiness?

Nevertheless the Torah is concerned  that he is lusting for a married woman at such a time and such a place and that he will take advantage of his situation to use G-d's special name to kill the husband. It is incredible to see the extent of the power of the yetzer harah.

Furthermore we see something else - how great the power of prayer is. That G-d is prepared to listen to even disgusting prayer such as this - whose whole nature is to cause evil to another who is totally innocent.

The Rav Avigdor Miller zt’l Hagaddah Shel Pesach - On Divorce

pp. 38-39

Now when we say hashta avdi – this year we’re slaves, l’shana haboah bnei chorin, what are we asking for? More liberty? We get more freedom to go and ruin more lives? We want more liberty, but only to be forced to do what’s right. Liberty is when you learn Yiras Shamayim, you learn Mesilas Yeshorim, and you learn good middos. Now, the good middos force you to move into a good neighborhood, to move out of the suburbs. When you move into a good neighborhood among frum Jews, and you join a kehilla of frum Jews, you’ll be ashamed to divorce your wife. It’s people who live out in the suburbs where one in five divorce. When they would come to a good neighborhood, they think, “What will my enemies say, the people in the shul who know me are enemies of mine. They’ll laugh at me, and therefore why should I give them an opportunity to ridicule me, when getting divorced.”

And therefore the sviva rescues people from tragedies. 40 years ago people were ashamed to divorce, and they lived off their years, and they took their grandchildren to the Chupa together and they’re buried together in the cemetery and if they were zoche to Olam Haba, they would live together in the next world too. But people have liberty today, and so if she doesn’t like her husband, she says “get out of the house,” and he says “why should I get out of the house?” And she goes and gets a writ of protection, calls in the police, and drives the husband out of the house.

Now she’s all alone. Now she’s “happy,” and now she has “liberty.” Now she has ruined her life. I met a girl like that. A girl came over to me on the street, I never saw her before. She came over to me and said, “You know Rabbi Miller, 20 years ago I demanded and got a divorce. I made a very big mistake in my life,” she said. Divorce is ruination, and that’s why women didn’t have the right to divorce according to the Torah. Only men, because women are excitable and if women can give gittin, they’ll give gittin all the time. No matter why, but the facts are the men are slower, more deliberate. It’s important. What kind of life would it be if women could give a Get? “It’s slavery” she said. That slavery is good for you. You’ll live long with your husband. You won’t have tzoros, and eventually, in the end you’ll see that it was the best thing for you to be together with your husband. You’ll grow old together and when the time comes he dies, you’ll weep and collect insurance, and you’ll be a happy person.