Giving Tochacha - even if it causes embarrassment and degradation - for bein Adam L'Makom mitzvos

update Rabbi Shain has additional sources that he asked to be posted

http://yudelstake.blogspot.com/2014/08/rambam.html

BM (59a): Better it is for man to cohabit with a doubtful married woman1 rather than that he should publicly shame his neighbour. Whence do we know this? — From what Raba expounded, viz., What is meant by the verse, But in mine adversity they rejoiced and gathered themselves together... they did tear me, and ceased not?2 David exclaimed before the Holy One, blessed be He, ‘Sovereign of the Universe! Thou knowest full well that had they torn my flesh, my blood would not have poured forth to the earth.3 Moreover, when they are engaged in studying "Leprosies" and "Tents"4 they jeer at me, saying, "David! what is the death penalty of him who seduces a married woman?" I reply to them, "He is executed by strangulation, yet has he a portion in the world to come. But he who publicly puts his neighbour to shame has no portion in the world to come."’5

       Mar Zutra b. Tobiah said in Rab's name — others state, R. Hana6 b. Bizna said in the name of R. Simeon the pious — others again state, R. Johanan said on the authority of R. Simeon b. Yohai: Better had a man throw himself into a fiery furnace than publicly put his neighbour to shame. Whence do we know it? — From Tamar.7 For it is written, when she was brought forth, she sent to her father-in-law [etc].8

 Berachos(19b):     R. Judah said in the name of Rab: If one finds mixed kinds3 in his garment, he takes it off even in the street. What is the reason? [It says]: There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the Lord;4 wherever a profanation of God's name is involved no respect is paid to a teacher.

Rambam(Hilchos De'os 6:7-8): 

Halacha 7

It is a mitzvah for a person who sees that his fellow Jew has sinned or is following an improper path [to attempt] to correct his behavior and to inform him that he is causing himself a loss by his evil deeds as [Leviticus 19:17] states: "You shall surely admonish your colleague."

A person who rebukes a colleague - whether because of a [wrong committed] against him or because of a matter between his colleague and God - should rebuke him privately. He should speak to him patiently and gently, informing him that he is only making these statements for his colleague's own welfare, to allow him to merit the life of the world to come.

If he accepts [the rebuke], it is good; if not, he should rebuke him a second and third time. Indeed, one is obligated to rebuke a colleague who does wrong until the latter strikes him and tells him: "I will not listen."

Whoever has the possibility of rebuking [sinners] and fails to do so is considered responsible for that sin, for he had the opportunity to rebuke the [sinners].

Halacha 8

At first, a person who admonishes a colleague should not speak to him harshly until he becomes embarrassed as [Leviticus 19:17] states: "[You should]... not bear a sin because of him." This is what our Sages said: Should you rebuke him to the point that his face changes [color]? The Torah states: "[You should]... not bear a sin because of him."

From this, [we learn that] it is forbidden for a person to embarrass a [fellow] Jew. How much more so [is it forbidden to embarrass him] in public. Even though a person who embarrasses a colleague is not [liable for] lashes on account of him, it is a great sin. Our Sages said: "A person who embarrasses a colleague in public does not have a share in the world to come."

Therefore, a person should be careful not to embarrass a colleague - whether of great or lesser stature - in public, and not to call him a name which embarrasses him or to relate a matter that brings him shame in his presence. 

When does the above apply? In regard to matters between one man and another. However, in regard to spiritual matters, if [a transgressor] does not repent [after being admonished] in private, he may be put to shame in public and his sin may be publicized. He may be subjected to abuse, scorn, and curses until he repents, as was the practice of all the prophets of Israel.

Rav Elchonon Wasserman (Kovetz Ha’aros #70):...It would seem that all that is prohibited between people (bein adam l’chavero) is only prohibited when done in a harmful and destructive manner without justification. For example regarding the prohibition of “Not hating your brother.” This is only prohibited for gratuitous hatred (sinas chinom). In other words when he is not doing anything wrong (davar ervah). However if he is doing something wrong then it is permitted to hate him. It is important to note that the reason for hatred being permitted in this case is not because of the fact that a sinful person is not considered your “brother.” Tosfos (Pesachim 113b) explains that if you hate this sinful person for another reason then you transgress the prohibition. The hatred is only permitted because of the bad (davar ervah) that you see in him. Similarly regarding the prohibition of beating another, the Rambam writes that it is prohibited only if done as fighting (derech netzoyan). This is clear from the fact that it is permitted for a teacher to his student. And this that we noted before in Sanhedrin (84b) – that is only a rabbinic restriction. And similarly concerning the prohibition of causing anguish to a widow or orphan, Rambam (Hilchos De’os 6:10) writes that if it is done to teach Torah or a trade – there is no prohibition. Similarly concerning the prohibition of lashon harah, it is permitted against people who cause discord and quarrels in order to stop the fight. Similar concerning using words to cause anguish (onas devarim), it is permitted publicly criticize someone publicly if it is for the sake of chastisement. It is even permitted to publicly embarrass someone if it is done for the necessity of chastisement for a person who has not stopped his bad behavior after being rebuked in private. In such a case it is even permissible to curse him. In fact this is what was done by the prophets in the past as the Rambam (Hilchos De’os 6:8) notes. We thus shown from all this, that all the prohibition involving interpersonal actions do not apply when the act is beneficial.

Is this comparable to the the Kaminetsky-Greenblatt heter? Former Judge Is Convicted of Bribery in Divorce Court

NY Times

A former State Supreme Court judge was convicted yesterday of accepting bribes to manipulate the outcome of divorce proceedings in a case that led to a broad political and judicial corruption inquiry in Brooklyn.

The judge, Gerald P. Garson, 74, could face as many as 15 years in prison if he is sentenced consecutively on the three guilty verdicts, on bribery and two lesser charges. The jury acquitted him on four other counts after a four-week trial in State Supreme Court in Brooklyn.

In his roughly five years on the bench in Brooklyn, Mr. Garson handled nearly 1,100 matrimony cases, making decisions on child custody and financial matters. In finding him guilty, the jury endorsed the prosecution theory that he had an agreement with a divorce lawyer to take cash, dinners and cigars in exchange for courtroom assignments and favored treatment. [...]

Mr. Garson was first charged in 2003, along with the divorce lawyer, Paul Siminovsky, as well as one of his clients, a court officer, a former clerk and a man described as a fixer. All six were charged with felonies.

The case immediately reverberated throughout Brooklyn, from playpens and dinner tables to the upper echelons of politics. Divorce cases were reopened. Judges feared that their offices were wired for surveillance. The system of nominating judges was ruled unconstitutional.[...]

“Finally, we have justice,” said Frieda Hanimov, whose divorce case was handled by Mr. Garson and who wore a surveillance device to collect evidence against him. Adding that she and other victims were planning civil lawsuits, she said, “Now hopefully they’re going to learn and realize we have corruption everywhere.”

macho'oh vs. Macho'oh: Being concerned for a man's honor and not G-d's

Nedarim (39b): Raba, or as others say, R. Isaac, lectured: What is meant by, The sun and the moon stood still in their zebul?15 What were they doing in the zebul, seeing that they were set in the raki'a?16 This teaches that the sun and the moon ascended from the raki'a to the :zebul and exclaimed before Him, ‘Sovereign of the Universe! If thou wilt execute judgment for Amram's son,17 we will give forth our light; if not, we will not shine.’ In that moment He shot spears and arrows at them. ‘Every day,’ He rebuked them, ‘men worship you, and yet you give your light. For My honour you do not protest, yet you protest for the honour of flesh and blood.’ [Since then,] spears and arrows are shot at them every day before they consent to shine,18 as it is written, And at the light of thy arrows they go, etc

Sanhedrin (103b):It has been taught: R. Nathan said: From Gareb to Shiloah is a distance of three mils, and the smoke of the altar33 and that of Micah's image intermingled. The ministering angels wished to thrust Micah away, but the Holy One, blessed be He, said to them, ‘Let him alone, because his bread is available for wayfarers.’ And it was on this account34 that the people involved in the matter of the concubine at Gibeah35 were punished.36 For the Holy One, blessed be He, said to them, ‘Ye did not protest for My honour, yet ye protest for the honour of a woman.’

Sanhedrin (110a): Raba said: What is meant by the verse, The sun and the moon stood still in their zebul, at the light of thine arrows they went?40 — This teaches that the sun and the moon ascended from the rakia’ to the zebul, and exclaimed before the Holy One, blessed be He, ‘Sovereign of the Universe! If thou wilt execute justice for Amram's son [by punishing Korah and his assembly], we will go forth [to give light]; if not, we will not go forth.’ Thereupon he shot arrows at them, saying, ‘For My honour ye did not protest, yet ye protest for the honour of flesh and blood!’41 So now they do not go forth until they are driven to it.42

רד"ק שופטים כ

(כא) וישחיתו בישראל - אמרו כי העונש הזה היה לישראל בעון פסל מיכה שהיה בימים ההם כמו שפירשתי והנה קנאו לדבר פלגש בגבעה ולא קנאו לפסל מיכה והיה לה' לקנא ולעלות עליו למלחמה ולבער הפסל מישראל כמו שבערו זאת הרעה ולפיכך נענשו במלחמה הזאת אמר להם הקדוש ברוך הוא בכבודי לא מחיתם בכבוד בשר ודם מחיתם:

רמב"ן בראשית יט

 ומה נכבדו דברי רבותינו (סנהדרין קג ב) שהיה הקצף בפסלו של מיכה, אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא בכבודי לא מחיתם, בכבוד בשר ודם מחיתם. לומר, בכבודי לא מחיתם במחוייבי מיתה ופושטים ידיהם בעיקר, בכבוד בשר ודם מחיתם יותר משורת הדין. ועל כן סכל עצת שתי הכתות ואמץ את לבבם ולא זכרו ברית אחים:

Open Letter to Rav Aharon Schechter regarding the 4:30 p.m. meeting concerning Tamar's "heter"

Update: I had posted this Sunday morning before the meeting - but then removed it when I received conflicting messages from insiders as to whether it would be a positive influence.

Received word Monday morning that the meeting was viewed as productive

Was told I would received details later. 
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I hope the Rosh Yeshiva does not view this letter as chutzpa - but rather as acting according to Berachos (19b) - "when there is a chilul haShem our first duty it to correct the problem even if it unavoidably results in shame to distinguished rabbis." 

This letter is written out of great pain and concern for the corruption of the halachic process which has taken place - which the Rosh Yeshiva is well aware of and is why there is a meeting today at his house.

Today is perhaps the last opportunity to correct the great chilul HaShem that has resulted from the Kaminetsky-Greenblatt "heter" for a married woman to remarry without a Get. As has been fully documented, the heter resulted from the joint efforts of Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky and his son Rav Shalom  to obtain a heter for Tamar Epstein. They not only got a psychiatrist to write a false report without speaking to the husband - but they went around the world seeking out poskim who would agree to accept the facts and the "heter" that they had written up.

The relevant documentation is publicly available and leaves no doubt that the facts presented to Rav Greenblatt are false and that the "heter" has no basis - as has been clearly demonstrated by Rav Aharon Feldman and others. Rav Greenblatt did not investigate the facts or even talk with the husband. He based his psak entirely on the false psychiatric report that the Kaminetskys assured him was accurate.

The issue before the Rosh Yeshiva now is how to clean this ugly stain from the soul of the Jewish people?

It is clear that most of the distinguished attendees of the meeting have one concern - to save Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky from disgrace. We all are aware of Rav Kaminetsky's great achievement, his many talmidim, his great mesiras nefesh for many decades and the fact that he is a beloved and well liked person. But we also are aware of his obstinate refusal to take any responsibility for this "heter" or to condemn it.

There are a number of options open. The most obvious solution is simply to blame Rav Shalom Kaminetsky for everything. Let him take the full brunt of criticism and simply say he duped his father and Rav Greenblatt. However it is clear that in the eyes of the bnei Torah who have followed this crisis carefully - that is simply a cheap solution and one that ignores the facts of the case. That solution will simply produce cynicism and loss of emunas chachomim. Rav Shalom will simply be viewed as a scapegoat being sacrificed to cover up his father's active role in the "heter".

The only way this can be properly resolved is for all parties - Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky, Rav Shalom Kaminetsky and Rav Nota Greenblatt - to categorically acknowledge that the "heter" is invalid and that they made a serious error in judgment. They need to take the path of Yehuda when he admitted that he had erred in dealing with Tamar. Only by clearly and strongly denouncing this heter can it be guaranteed that it won't be used by others to destroy the kedusha of clall Yisroel.

We are not simply dealing with a one time mistake in judgement or the single tragic case of Tamar Epstein. As Rav Aharon Feldman and others have stated the issue at stake is no less than the future of Gittin and marriage as well as the stability of the family. This can not be accomplished by blaming Rav Sholom Kaminetsky for the entire debacle. The focus has to be on the future not the past. Furthermore Rav Shalom Kaminetsky's reputation and future should not be destroyed - he has much of value to contribute.  The solution has to focus on retracting the heter and preventing it from being viewed as a viable option in other cases - there is no need to ruin anybody.

We are looking forward to the Rosh Yeshiva - with siyata dishmaya - bringing a full resolution of this chilul HaShem.

The Organized Resistance Against Phony Agunahs by Joe Orlow

It is not for plain, simple, members of the community to publicly question the religious rulings of the Rabbis of congregations. The role of entering into these Halachic discussions is the perogative of the great scholars of the generation.

We hold, however, that it is the obligation of every good man -- Jew and Gentile alike -- to protest when Rabbinical leaders promote lawlessness.

Therefore, we wish to go on the record as saying:

(1) No more incitement to riot in other people's Shuls.

(2) No more incitement to snatch husbands and violently attack them.

Rabbis involved in this incitement are

The Rabbis of the Washington Vaad;

Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz; and

Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky.

We call on these Rabbis to rescind their inflammatory rhetoric and act to restore calm and peace to the community.

We cannot emphasize enough that we have no personal enmity against these Rabbis. If their car were to be stuck, we would come to their aid; in their respective domains, they are each Mora D'Asra, and all who choose to enter there should exhibit respect to them.

But when these princes of Our Nation venture into the public realm and trample the common values of Man and G-d, what citizen with any shred of feeling can remain still?

If they want to stir up others to beat their own followers, or foment a riot in their own Minyan -- by all means! But they have not limited their thuggery to those who willingly submit to them.

Therefore, with reluctance and regret, we unsheathe from our First Amendment scabbard the same weapon of the word that these men have wielded against us. We will go to the streets and online and trumpet the alarm to awake our unwary friends and neighbors.

Know that these kind, smiling, educated men we've collectively hired and/or elevated to "Gadol" status can also be nasty, arrogant, and bullheaded when it comes to placing their honor and selfish interests above the integrity of the Torah. That innocent people standing in their way get hurt seems to mean nothing to them.

We want to express Hakaros Hatov to fellow community members Mrs. Sara Barak, Dr. Jeremy and Mrs. Erica Brown, Mr. David and Mrs. Sharon Butler, Mrs. Avraham Rubin, Mr. Nathan and Mrs. Elizabeth Diament, Mrs. Sara Elikan, Dr. John Golin and Trish Weissman, Dr. Jacques and Mrs. Susan Gorlin, Mr. Dean and Mrs. Devorah Grayson, Mr. Ed and Mrs. Lori Greenberg, Mrs. Elanit Rothschild Jakabovics, Mr. David Janus, Mr. Avi Kaplan, Miss Rella Kaplowitz, Rabbi Ira and Mrs. Rachel Kosowsky, Mr. Neil and Mrs. Fran Kritz, Mr. David Levin and Ms. Debbie Rosenbloom, Rabbi Avi and Mrs. Debby Levitt, Mr. Avi Litwack, Mr. David and Mrs. Giliah Litwack, Mr. Maury Litwack, Mr. Moshe and Mrs. Rose Litwack, Dr. Jonathan and Mrs. Michelle Schneck. Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Orlee Turitz. Their groundbreaking and pioneering letter five years ago paved the way for us to openly and boldly state our position.

Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky receives support - not for being right but for being a gadol!

update: Those who signed were told that it was a private show of support for Rav Kaminetsky and that it would not be made public. The original text is the first version. It was modified after it was signed to indicate that the support was also for Rav Shmuel's psak. Lakewood was flooded with the second version which contains the loyalty clause regarding psak. Third version claims that the 2nd version was a forgery to cause machlokes - it is now the dominant version in Lakewood
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One of the great tragedies of the this crises is the way the issue of a heter which is causing a couple to commit adultery - is being avoided. Neither Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky or Rav Nota Greenblatt have actually defended their actions. The following excuses for not discussing the heter is 1) it is complicated so don't mix in 2) I didn't investigate the facts but depended on a psychiatrist who must know what he is doing or else he would damage his reputation 3) I didn't pasken but relied totally on somone else 4) It is worse to criticize a gadol then to commit adultery 5) Rav Kaminetsky and Rav Greenblatt have done so much for Yiddishkeit - how dare you open your mouth.
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FIRST VERSION

SECOND VERSION  - added it is Torah requirement to fully accept his psakim

THIRD VERSION: Claims the second version regarding psak is forgery to cause machlokes

Nathan Lewin: Defense of the Epstein Torture Gang - because they were just doing a mitzva!?

Nathan Lewin is a very smart lawyer - but in his continued defense of the Epstein Torture gang he is showing he knows nothing about elementary halacha. Torturing a husband to give a Get invalidates the Get. Furthermore it is clear that Epstein was doing it for money - not for the mitzva of freeing an Aguna. 

But even if he were doing it for a noble cause - his lack of concern for the facts as well as the illegality of kidnapping and torture - makes the whole enterprise disgusting. It is a chilul haShem and embarrassment to the Jewish community that the Jewish Press saw fit to publish such trash. Perhaps next week they will have an article about torturing a beis din into giving the wife an annulment or perhaps it will be enough to give substantial bribe - for this noble cause. Why does he think that the end justifies any and all means?! 

Instead of focusing his complaints on the FBI and the American Justice system for protecting husband from torture - he should have spent some time asking halachic experts for letters supporting Epstein's work. Does he really think Epstein's approach is supported by the mainstream poskim? If so - who are they? 

Is Lewin in favor of special training in torture techniques for dayanim so they can be more effective? Maybe instead of electric shock, Epstein should have used an electric drill on the brain of these stubborn husbands or maybe slowing skinning them alive! How can a frum lawyer defend the Epstein torture gang?

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Jewish Press

In more than 50 years of practicing law as both a prosecutor and defense counsel I have witnessed no more misguided and foolishly destructive use of law-enforcement resources than the FBI’s recent triumph in a federal court in Trenton, New Jersey.

Three distinguished rabbis who had courageously championed the cause of agunot – women whose former husbands cruelly prevent their remarriage by deliberately withholding a Get – were sentenced in mid-December to terms of ten years, eight years, and more than three years in federal prison because they were induced by FBI actors to participate in what they believed was a “forced Get” but was, in reality, nothing more than a show – a “sting” – created by the federal authorities.

The FBI set out to lure rabbis who would actively – perhaps over-zealously – try to have a recalcitrant husband (who did not exist) authorize the writing and delivery of a Get to a weeping agunah who was, in reality, an FBI agent. The agent’s acting talent persuaded the trusting rabbis that she was authentic, particularly because she brandished a forged but legitimate-looking ketubah and a seruv signed by the presiding dayan of the Beth Din of America fraudulently secured by the FBI.[...]

The “Getcha Sting” backed the wrong side in the battle between agunot and their despicable recalcitrant husbands. There are, to be sure, legitimate law-enforcement objectives that require undercover agents and call for “stings.” Potential terrorists have been smoked out by federal agents who masqueraded as compatriots or supporters. Under-age prostitution in 135 cities was stopped in October as a result of a “massive FBI sting.” The famed “Abscam” prosecutions of seven Congressmen and one Senator in 1980 grew out of an FBI “sting.”

If the FBI had some basis to believe that rabbis had formed a mafia-style organization to beat recalcitrant husbands, it might have justified a “sting” directed at such a group to prevent future violence. But the “Getcha Sting” began with efforts to lure ORA and the Beth Din of America into the FBI’s web. Not only was this an enormously foolish expenditure of federal law-enforcement resources, it was a disastrous choice made by the FBI. Husbands who withhold gittin from victimized agunot are evil, and one would expect the FBI to choose the virtuous side in this conflict. The FBI should have sided with the agunot, not with the spouses who flout rabbinic orders to give a Get.[...]

The presiding judge wrongly excluded all evidence of religious motivation and intent. From the beginning of the Trenton trial, I and the other three defense counsel tried to present to the jury the overriding motive of all those who planned and participated in the trip to the warehouse. None truly wanted to lay a hand on the fictional husband or to engage in violence. All believed the husband might agree to authorize a Get if he was only confronted. All thought they were performing a mitzvah in helping to free an agunah.[...]

The FBI’s “Getcha Sting” was comparable to similar “stings” that have been found “outrageous” so that prosecutions were dropped. Did the prosecution’s conduct in creating the “sting” entitle the defense to claim that the defendants had been “entrapped?” The current law on entrapment presents a significant obstacle to such a defense. But the FBI’s conduct is not beyond correction by the courts. Federal courts have dismissed criminal cases when the prosecution’s conduct in promoting and prosecuting fictional crimes was “outrageous.” Last January the federal prosecutor in Chicago dropped charges against 27 black and Hispanic defendants who were charged after being arrested following similar “stings” conducted by the United States Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF). [....

If the ATF’s “sting” was so outrageous that Zachary Fardon, the federal prosecutor in Chicago, dropped 27 cases against black and Hispanic defendants rather than prosecute them, why did Paul J. Fishman, the United States attorney for the District of New Jersey, proceed with the trial of rabbis and young Jewish men who committed a less serious offense than attempted robbery and possession of cocaine? And why did he urge severe prison sentences for rabbis and Orthodox Jews who were only trying to perform the mitzvah of freeing an agunah?

Supporter of Rav Kaminetsky: I don't know what happened but I know you don't know either and therefore can't deal with this issue!

update: added comment about violation of Shulchan Aruch with their continued silence

This is the first response to my request for a defense other than that Rav Kaminetsky is a gadol.

His response is that that besides Rav Kaminetsky being a gadol - he knows that I don't know what happened even though he admits he doesn't know what happened.  But how does he know that - if he doesn't know what happened and he doesn't know whether I know what happened?! So this is the standard defense- Rav Kaminetsky is a gadol and you have no right or competence to deal with this issue. Only gedolim can deal with the issue - hidden from the eyes and ears of the masses. Sad! 

Please enough with the gadol defense. The facts are clear and well documented on this blog. There must be one person who is competent to respond intelligently.
 update:

IsraelReader • 

Our well-meaning yungerman, apparently has missed an explicit halacha in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah (YD 242:10) that a rabbi is not allowed to permit something that people perceive as being prohibited. Period. However there happens to be a leniency formulated by the Shach (s.v 17), IF the rabbi provides a clear rationalization for his ruling.

ש"ך יורה דעה סימן רמב, ס"ק יז
שאסור לחכם כו' - נראה דהיינו דוקא אם מתיר בסתם... אבל אם
אומר לשואל טעם בדבר ומראה לו פנים, או שמביא ראיות מתוך הספר מותר. עכ"ל.

Hence, the rabbi(s) involved in this alleged היתר are either halachically prohibited from making such pronouncements (as per the Shulchan Aruch), or they are duty bound to explain the basis for their leniency (as per the Shach).

The public is waiting to hear the defense of this unusual ruling. The burden to explain such a ruling lies on those who made it. Until they do so, the ruling is allowed to be criticized. In fact, it MUST be criticized, since this is part and parcel of the halachic process.

Did RNG or anybody else involved in this alleged היתר do so? Not to my knowledge.

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Please excuse my writing skills I'm just a simple yungerman Idon't really write but this is something that touches my heart so I will try to express myself as best as I can . 

Disclaimer I am not a talmid of rsk and I have never met rng.

 

You want a supporter to back the heter of rsk and rng . I can't do you know why? because I'm not involved in the case I wasn't in the room and neither were you so while I cant back it you cannot bash it Oh and most importantly I'm not a gadol. You want a supporter to back it How can anyone back something they are not involved in. Thats the simple answer .

The fact that we do know is reb shmuel Kaminetsky is around 90 yrs old has spent his entire life involved in torah and is moser nefesh daily for the sake of Klall yisroel. Reb nota greenblat spent his entire life involved in gittin and is respected by most gedolim in America as a top if not the top in inyanei gittiin in america.

So your going to say that the facts that we do know or think we know are mind boggling, don't add up at all to the heter. It does not make a difference to me.That does not mean I follow blindly and I don't ask or express interest and understanding I do And i also don't understand how they got to that heter but i trust that they are not corrupt based on their history.

So you want to say they made a mistake, maybe but again who am I Did i spend my life involved in torah involved in gittin no i did not and neither did you or anybody who writes in the comment section of your blog it means its not up to me or you to say that they made a mistake.

So your going to say a lot of Gedolim are against it and strongly disagree some even very strongly . That still does not give you the right in any way to make machahs or have a blog that get people to bash gedolei yisroel

.

In short this is not something for us to deal with. We have gedolim who deal with this Behind close doors. If you feel they are not doing enough then we ask them to do more . What does it help by posting ? any toeles? So now more bochurim in yeshivah coffe rooms and older men in the mikvah can hock details cause loshan harah rechilus people to loose emunas chachomim . How can you think this is the right mehalech . In my humble opinion the only think this blog on this story did was cause harm to klall yisroel.

A feminist supporter of Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky proudly says women are destroying Orthodoxy

Times of Israel

• This year, it became clear that the rabbis who understand the crucial need to solve the ‘Agunah Crisis’, which leaves women in a state of limbo, and thus make every effort to free women who have been turned away by every other Beit Din, are illegitimate, “pasul“. They are not to be listened to, their decisions are INVALID. And yet, those who invalidate them offer no other solutions for these women…

• Horrifically, we watch as a sordid, vile saga continues to unfold surrounding a woman who was denied a get for years and eventually was given an annulment by a reputable religious court. We read the letters from rabbis calling one another traitors and ‘evil men’. We watch in disbelief as some rabbis declare her to still be married and her future children bastards. The obsession with condemning and harassing the woman who was given the ruling juxtaposed against the total lack of condemnation of the man who could end it once and for all by giving her a divorce is a sick and twisted perversion. It is painful. [...]

The state of Orthodox Judaism is crumbling, and it is because of women — but it is not their ‘foreign desires’, their shunning of tradition, or their unkosher aspirations, rather it is their lack of options, opportunity, and respect for their true needs that is causing the schism.

And the louder you shout about how we are shaking the foundations, the deeper you forge the cracks.

Va'eirah; Why Yaakov Aveinu Was Afraid of The Makkos

Guest Post by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

The Daas Zekeinim Mibaalei Tosfus, in Parshas Vayechi, discusses two reasons Yaakov Aveinu did not want to be buried in Mitzrayim. Both reasons are related to the Makkos....

One of those reasons, also taught to us by Rashi, is because Makkos Kinnim would effect his body....

The Baalei Tosfus ask on the reason from the Gemarrah in Baba Basra 17a, that Yaakov Aveinu's body would have been protected from the Kinnim...

But the way they ask the question, is instructive....

For questions and comments please email salmahshleima@gmail.com

Vaerah 76 - Sustaining Change or the Teshuva- Repentance of Pharaoh by Allan Katz

 Guest Post by Allan Katz   A central theme in the parasha is Pharaoh's refusal to set free the Israelites despite him and his people suffering the terrible consequences of his stubbornness and counter-will. Pharaoh's stubbornness and defiance was reinforced by God ' hardening his heart ' so that after a temporary relief from a plague, Pharaoh would go back on his word and was able to endure the divine plan of 10 plagues. The first question is how can God punish Pharaoh if his refusal to set the Israelites free was due to ' o' nes '= coercion, duress and force. It was beyond Pharaoh's power and control to set them free because God had hardened his heart against making this decision. The second question is why Pharaoh and people in general don't learn from their mistakes or bad choices, even when they suffer the terrible consequences of their choices and behaviors. The classical example is the alcoholic who because of drink loses his job, his wife leaves him, or gets imprisoned for destructive behavior under the influence of drink. He then shows remorse and makes promises to abstain from drink, which is usually short-lived and he is soon back in trouble again. Like Pharaoh , when they feel the stick beating down on them, they repent and do teshuva, but when the stick is removed , they go back to their old ways.

The hardening of Pharaoh's heart had 2 purposes. It came after an initial expression of stubbornness and obstinacy that had to be supported and counter-act the pain and suffering inflicted by the plagues. God did not want Pharaoh to release the people because of extrinsic reasons that he was unable to bear the suffering caused by the plagues. The Divine plan was that Pharaoh would release the Israelites when genuinely moved to repent and not for the wrong reasons - to avoid the consequences, punishments and suffering. The second purpose was to strengthen and highlight Pharaoh true will and intrinsic choice – to keep the Israelites as slaves. He was therefore not interested in setting them free. Although Pharaoh had no choice but to defy Moses' request and to refuse to set the people free because God had hardened his heart, this was truly what he wanted in his heart and therefore he was punished for this. There is a concept that when a person is forced or coerced to do something wrong or sin because of ' o'nes ' or duress, and there is an element of willingness on his part to do the action, the willingness in his heart defines the nature of the action. Instead of one being forced and therefore not accountable, the person, because of his deeper inner-will is said to have done the action intentionally and willingly. This is learned from the verse in Jeremiah 30:14. עַ֚ל רֹ֣ב עֲוֹנֵ֔ךְ עָצְמ֖וּ חַטֹּאתָֽיִךְ׃If most of a person sins were done intentionally – be'meizid, his unintentional mistakes are considered as intentional sins, since without being mistaken or acting without intention, he would have intentionally done those wrongs and sins at some later stage. So while Pharaoh's actions were not in his control, his heart approved and wanted what he was forced to do.

The reason why people don't sustain change over a long period of time is because they engage in the repentance of Pharaoh – repenting because of extrinsic reasons, changing just to avoid the consequences of sin and inappropriate behavior. And once there is relief from the consequences, they engage in denial or rationalizing what happened to them as being unfair or bad luck etc, and soon goes back to their old ways. Change can be sustained if a person has a new sense of purpose and a new vision of himself. His essential needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness need to be addressed as well. Change cannot be sustained if a person feels forced to change or change just to avoid consequences. He has to change because he believes in the positive value in what he does. Pharaoh has to change because he acknowledges God's role in the world and the role of the Israelites in God's plans. People need to feel self-determined, autonomous, and connected to their inner-beingsand values. So adopting a new life style and focusing on the underlying philosophy helps people with drink, eating, gambling, anger issues etc. Often people are lagging skills and competence required in order to adopt and live a new life style. They also need a lot of guidance to learn new skills. Then people also need to be supported by family, friends and care givers and to have a sense of belonging and acceptance. In this way, even if progress is 2 steps forward , one step back , their hearts are for doing the right thing and the teshuva they do is genuine , not the teshuva of Pharaoh done to avoid consequences.

When it comes to kids, most of their behavior can be described as beyond their control as they are lacking the skills needed to behave adaptively and flexibly when the demands that outstrip their skills are placed on them. If we support their autonomy, competence, relatedness and sense of belonging we will raise children who will engage in true teshuva and sustain real change in their lives, engaging in an autonomous way in the moral act of restitution and reparation and not do the teshuva of Pharaoh simply to avoid consequences. In this way we sustain change and create a commitment to the underlying values involved.

Thought provoking - but not frum: What's Divine About Divine Law by Prof Christine Hayes

We periodically get into discussion - sometimes heated - about man's rationality being subordinate to the Torah. I just came across a new book (publish 2015 ) which discusses these issues in great deal. The author is not frum - in fact she is a non-Jewish professor. She discusses this issuwe in her chapters on natural law.

However I think she has something to contribute to the discussion and clarify what the issues are. Obviously whatever conclusions reached are subordinate to halacha and our mesora. So I would recommend this book only for those who are secure in their Yiddishkeit and would like to gain a greater conceptual understanding of what the issues are and possible solutions.

here is one page of the book

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The present chapter searches for evidence of a moral theory of natural law, distinct
from the Mosaic Law, in rabbinic texts.

Some scholars argue that a conception of natural law distinct from the Mo­sai Law appears in rabbinic literature in sources that deal with norms that pre­date Sinai. In this chapter, we consider this claim by examining texts that deal with pre-Sinaitic normativity in general and the seven Noahide laws in partic­ular. Our goal is to determine whether the rabbinic sources dealing with these topics provide evidence of a rabbinic natural law theory. There is no question that post-talmudic thinkers drew upon the notion of seven Noahide laws as a basis for the construction of aJewish natural law theory, but is such a theory in­ herent in the talmudic conception of the Noahide laws, or of pre-Sinaitic norms in general?

By the Middle Ages, Jewish philosophers were explicitly engaged by the no­tion of natural law and its relation to the revealed law of Jewish tradition. The first jewish thinker to apply the term "natural law" in a Jewish context was Jo­seph Albo (fifteenth century) who divided law into natural, conventional, and divine categories (Novak 1998, 124-25). Nevertheless, David Novak has ar­gued that Albo was not the first Jewish thinker to conceive of natural law in the Jewish context (124) and that "natural law theory, using a variety of different terms for itself throughout the ages, has been a constant element in Jewish thought." In recent years, a number of scholars and constructive Jewish theo­logians have argued that a notion of natural law is compatible with Jewish tra­dition (as a supplement to the revealed Written Law and the Oral Law), while others have argued that the concept of natural law is incompatible with the doctrine of a divine revelation of law.' To be clear, it is not our purpose to de­termine whether Judaism-as a multimillenium religious culture-has devel­oped or incorporated a conception of natural law as distinct from the Mosaic Law at any time in its long history, or whether it can draw upon the concept of Noahide law for the construction of such a view today.' Our question is rather lin I 'I und distinctly historical: do the classical rabbinic sources of late antiquity (i.e., prior to the rise of medieval Jewish philosophy when Greek cat­egories are more clearly adopted and adapted to Jewish tradition) evince a con­ception of natural law that matches and reflects natural law discourse in antiq­uity? This is not a philosophical or theological question about the compatibility of natural law theories and the abstract entity "Judaism:' It is a historical ques­tion about the presence or absence of Greco-Roman natural law discourse and conceptions in the literature of rabbinic Jews from the second to the seventh century CEo Any candidate for the title of "rabbinic natural law theory" will 

No More Statutes of Limitations for Rape

NY Times   THIS week, Bill Cosby was charged with three counts of aggravated indecent assault. The felony charges stemmed from an incident more than a decade ago, in which Andrea Constand says Mr. Cosby drugged and assaulted her in his home. Mr. Cosby says he intends to fight the charges, and no court has found him liable for sexual misconduct.

The timing of the criminal charges was not arbitrary. The date of the alleged assault was Jan. 15, 2004, and Pennsylvania’s statute of limitations for rape and sexual assault is 12 years: If prosecutors had delayed two and a half weeks, the limit would have tolled.

Mr. Cosby’s public fall in the wake of dozens of accusations has been an education in the reality of sexual assault, especially concerning the long conspiracy of silence, and the weight of shame victims are made to carry, when the suspect is powerful and famous. “I was a teenager from Denver acting in McDonald’s commercials,” wrote Barbara Bowman, another of his accusers, in The Washington Post in 2014. “He was Bill Cosby.”

After decades of unsettling claims and quietly settled lawsuits, Mr. Cosby’s public reputation has gone from America’s dad to America’s creepy uncle. But Mr. Cosby finally faces prosecution only because of a deposition made public in July: If that testimony had been revealed just a few months later, it could have been too late for prosecutors to try this case.

The charging of Mr. Cosby, just under the wire, raises a key question: Why is there a statute of limitations for rape and sexual assault at all? Across the country, 34 states have statutes of limitations on rape, sexual assault or both, ranging from as little as three years up to 30. (A few states also have reporting deadlines tied to statutes of limitations; and a number of states provide for an exemption from statutes of limitations if a DNA match is later made on a reported rape or sexual assault.)

Restrictions on how long charges can be brought after the alleged commission of a crime exist primarily to prevent the deterioration of evidence, but also to promote public order, protect criminal defendants who may have a harder time guarding themselves against long-ago accusations, and encourage plaintiffs to bring cases or report crimes swiftly.

Those are laudable goals that make sense in theory. But in practice, they undermine justice for survivors.[...]

Steipler : Yaavetz' cure for severe depression and suicidal impulses - more love and affection with spouse

Steipler (Letters #10): Question: Concerning a person who suffers from severe depression who has tried to commit suicide. Answer. Perhaps it would be helpful to teach his wife to speak to him words of endearment and affection. Perhaps he is one who takes a very ascetic approach to marital relations. In truth that is what he needs for a cure as the Yaavetz states in his Siddur, "There is someone I know who fell into a severe depression and it became apparent from what he said that it is the result of studying Musar books. Because of these pietistic studies he only has marital relations once a week and that only happens after he makes many religious preparations and he only does it exactly at midnight...I told him that he should increase the frequency of marital relations even having them 3 or 4 times a week – or more. And he should be involved in showing affection and hugging and kissing..." Thank G-d he recovered completely from his depression and thus we see clear proof that the advice of the Yaavetz is very helpful....
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David Sedley 

Rabbi Eidensohn, as a psychologist who recognizes that there is such a thing as depression (which is not always cured by more frequent marital relations) why do you publicise this kind of teshuva? It may lead people to lose their faith in the Gedolim of the previous generation, or conversely it may lead to an increase in suicides.

Also, as an aside, what cure does the Steipler offer for single men? And what about for women?
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Daas Torah

Rabbi Sedley - as one who appreciates your genuine intelligence, commonsense and sensitivity - I am troubled by your question.The Steipler did not say that sexual frustration is the source of all depression or that a general cure for depression involves sexuality. Not all the details are included in this letter but it is reasonable to assume that a person with a history of depression and suicidal thoughts has been to therapists. Has already been prescribed medication and psychotherapy - but it isn't working. He is dealing with a person who he presumes to be obsessed with mussar and asceticism and as a result has a very unhealthy relationship with his wife. Such are not unusual in the yeshiva world and people who suffered from inappropriate spiritual endeavors [i.e. too much Mussar] were often referred to the Steipler.The point of the letter and the reason it is given out to chasanim - is not to tell yeshiva avreichim to avoid medical or psychological treatment for depression. It is not to say there is no halachically acceptable cure for depression for single men or women.It is simply to say that an unhealthy focus in spirituality can produce depression. An unhealthy attitude towards sexuality can produce depression. That depression resulting from a warped understanding of yiddishkeit and one's human needs - is not a badge of honor.A person needs to know what the Torah expects of him and what his or her genuine human needs and obligations are - and not try deny them by being a "tzadik".i

 .קהלת ז (טז) אַל תְּהִי צַדִּיק הַרְבֵּה וְאַל תִּתְחַכַּם יוֹתֵר לָמָּה תִּשּׁוֹמֵם