Bar Ilan conference on Orthodox wife abuse

YNET אלימות במשפחה היא מכת מדינה שאינה מבחינה בין מגזרים ואוכלוסיות, אך בכל זאת, עד לאחרונה לא בוצע מעולם מחקר על שכיחות התופעה במגזר החרדי. בכך נותר הבית החרדי סגור ומסוגר, גם אם מאחורי הדלת התרחשו מחזות מסמרי שיער

YNet English   Domestic violence is a national epidemic that does not differentiate between sectors of the population, and yet, until recently no study has been conducted to examine the frequency of the phenomenon within the haredi sector.

Dr. Mally Schori-Biton, a criminologist and couples' therapist from Ariel University Center conducted a pioneer research that aimed to distinguish the phenomenon's unique characteristics within the religious and haredi sectors, while addressing a subject that was considered taboo for many years – violence against women.

The research will be presented during a conference in Bar Ilan University on June 20, which will host the top therapists in the haredi sector. 

The dangers of new technology e.g., the Printing Press

The Atlantic   Near the end of the conference, Rabbi Jacob Schacter of Yeshiva University -- who had taught many of the men in the room and was affectionately called "Rebbe" -- led a session offering some Jewish reflections on the age of the internet. Though the men gathered for this conference were modern Orthodox, not the Haredim whom the media usually call "ultra-Orthodox," I immediately thought of the recent ultra-Orthodox rally in New York that focused on the dangers of the Internet. But Rabbi Schacter pursued these issues in a surprising and, to me, enlightening way. 

Professor Fishbane and I had prepared some brief handouts to guide the participants in our sessions, but Rabbi Schacter had a rather more ambitious plan. After recommending Clay Shirky's recent books Here Comes Everybody and Cognitive Surplus -- he was speaking my language then -- he plopped before each of us a three-ring binder filled with photocopies of passages from a wide variety of rabbinical texts, most of them dealing with the proper preparation of a divorce decree, known as a get. (Anyone who has seen the movie A Serious Man will be familiar with the complexities of the get.) 

This seemed a strange way to proceed, but I soon saw the sense of it, because traditionally a get had to be written by a sofer (scribe) according to a very strict protocol -- and with the rise of the printing press in the sixteenth century, debates ensued among rabbis about whether a printed get could ever be legitimate. This led in turn to a fascinatingly complex debate, chiefly focused on the Taz, a name that refers both to a book (the Turel Zahav) and its author (David HaLevi Segal, a seventeenth-century Polish rabbi). The Taz is itself a commentary on the Shulchan Aruch, written a century earlier in Safed by Rabbi Yosef Karo.

Killing child molesters - is it legal?

Time  Consider it a warning to those who would stoop to sexually abuse children: on Saturday, a Texas father who allegedly discovered a man sexually assaulting his 4-year-old daughter hit him so hard that he killed him.

And few seemed to care. “Dad’s a hero in my book,” was one of more than 5,400 comments on CNN. “No jury in this country will convict the father,” read another.

The incident took place in Lavaca County, Texas, west of Houston, where the girl’s family had invited people over, including the man who was killed. Neither man has been identified, but Lavaca County Sheriff Micah Harmon told CNN that they were casual acquaintances. The preschooler stayed inside her house while relatives were outside tending to the horses; when her father came back, he found the man attacking his daughter and cut short the assault by punching him in the head multiple times.

Must teach until students understand reasons

Shulchan Aruch(Y. D. 246:10): If a when a teacher gives a lessen and the students don't understand he should not get angry at them. Instead he should patiently teach over and over against until they understand the depth of the matter. On the other hand a student should not say that he understands when he doesn't.  Instead he should continue asking questions until he understands it. And if the teacher gets angry with him he should reply, "This is Torah and I have to learn it but my mental abilities are limited."

Eiruvin(54b):Rabbi Akiva asked, How do we know that a teacher is obligated to keep teaching his student until he has mastered the subject? We learn it from the verse (Devarim 31:19), And you shall teach it to the children of Israel.And how do we know that it must be taught until the students are totally fluent in the material? Because that verse says, “Put it in their mouths.” And how we know that the teacher needs to explain the reasons to the students [and not just teach it didacticly – Rashi]? Because the verse (Shemos 21:1) says, Now these are the laws which You have put before them.

Eiruvin (54b): R. Pereda had a pupil whom he taught his lesson four hundred times before the latter could master it. On a certain day having been requested to attend to a religious matter he taught him as usual but the pupil could not master the subject. ‘What’, the Master asked: ‘is the matter to-day?’ — ‘From the moment’, the other replied. ‘the Master was told that there was a religious matter to be attended to I could not concentrate my thoughts, for at every moment I imagined, now the Master will get up or now the Master will get up’. ‘Give me your attention’, the Master said, ‘and I will teach you again’, and so he taught him another four hundred times. A bath kol issued forth asking him, ‘Do you prefer that four hundred years shall be added to your life or that you and your generation shall be privileged to have a share in the world to come?’ — ‘That’, he replied. ‘I and my generation shall be privileged to have a share in the world to come’. ‘Give him both’, said the Holy One, blessed be He.

Reality Check:Self-Esteem vs "You're not special"

Eliyahu will poskin - not Moshe - because he never died

Dr. Marc Shapiro in the recent Seforim Blog wrote:

I recently found a very interesting comment by R. Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev, Kedushat Levi ha-Shalem (Jerusalem, 1958), Likutim, pp. 316-317. He asks why we say תשבי יתרץ קושיות ואבעיות, that in Messianic days Elijah will answer all problems. Since Moses will be resurrected, and he is the giver of the Torah, why don’t we say that he will provide the answers? R. Levi Yitzhak explains that only one who is living in this world knows what the situation is and how the halakhah should be decided. This is not the case with one who is dead and has lost his worldly connection. This explains why Elijah will provide all the answers, as he never died and was always part of the world. Therefore, unlike Moses, Elijah is the one qualified to decide matters affecting us. The lesson here is obvious, especially for those who think that every issue must be decided in Israel by authorities who really have really no conception of how American Jews live.

I found this same idea in the Beis Elokim of the Mabit who predated the Kedushas Levi

בית אלקים (שער היסודות - פרק ששים): והחכמים שימצאו באותו הדור ילמדו חכמת התורה לאותם שנקברו זה כמה שנים, וגם ימצאו ספרי התורה ונביאים וכתובים אשר יהיו באותו הזמן ומהם ילמדו תורה שבכתב ותורה שבעל פה, כפי מה שהוא רמוז בה כפי שלמדו החכמים שבדור ההוא, ואליהו ז"ל ימצא בפרסום בזמן ההוא אשר הוא "תשבי "יתרץ "קושיות "והויות, והוא ישיב לב אבות על בנים ולב בנים על אבותם בכל הדברים ובפרט בקבלת התורה ובכל העניינים שהיו נסתרים בעוה"ז הכל יתגלה על ידי אליהו הנביא, כי שאר הנביאים והשופטים והחכמים אשר היו בדורות העוברים וגם האבות והשבטים וממשה רבינו ע"ה עד ימי התחייה כשיחיו, לא ידעו מענייני העוה"ז ממה שקרה אחרי מותם, כי היו בג"ע התחתון והעליון מובדלים מענייני העוה"ז הגשמי, אבל אליהו ז"ל אשר חיה מימות משה רבינו עד ימי יהורם ידע כל מה שהיה בימיו, ואחר הסתלקותו בגוף ונפש נזדכך גופו כאחד מן הגרמים השמימיים או יותר, והכינו האל יתברך להמצא בעת צרת ישראל להצילם על ידו ובזכותו בכל הדורות אשר הם צריכים לו, ומתגלה ג"כ לחכמי ישראל לגלות להם סודות התורה כפי הכנת כל דור ודור, מלבד מה שמקובל אצלנו היותו מצוי נ(מצות ברית מילה אשר קנא עליה ואנחנו מכינים בפועל כסא לכבודו:

Florida's Mandated reporting law - $1 million fine

VIN Editorial    It is that common theme, again, that is once again in the news - the abuse of young people where someone in authority is protecting the abuser or molester. The names and players change but the theme remains constant.  And, unfortunately, there does not seem to be an adequate solution.

After the Baruch Lanner case many thinkers in our community had thought that the times of covering up were over.  A few years elapsed.  Then came the accusations against Kolko and people once again thought that a fundamental change had happened. It didn’t. We went back to the same routine.  And many more innocents were victimized.  Newspapers and bloggers picked up the cry for protection of the innocents and the abused, but by and large, our leadership did not make the fundamental changes that were necessary for complete safety in schools. 

Last week, Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes issued a call to push for a law that would make Rabbis into mandated reporters.  The call was not met with welcoming arms.  A subtle rift was detected by some between the Brooklyn DA and some of the Rabbinic leaders who had formerly worked together. 

There is one thing that will work, though, and it is perhaps time that we do it.Florida Governor Rick Scott has recently signed a bill, SB 1816 , into law that we must adopt here in our fine state of New York, as well. Institutions must put the well-being of children before their own reputations.  Florda’s SB 1816 provides the toughest child abuse reporting law in the country and gives the law some teeth too.

In essence, institutions that do not report allegations of child abuse will face huge fines – fines to the tune of $1,000,000.  That’s right, one million dollars.  New York State must also pass such a law. 

If New York State passes such a law, no institution will question their obligation to report.  The law also draws no distinction between mandated reporters or not.  Any school or institution that suppresses or quashes a report will face the fine.[...]

Chillul Hashem - and resulting crisis of faith

Rabbi Eidensohn - I salute you.

In your recent blog posts, you have touched repeatedly on something that has been deeply troubling me for a very long time.  Because it is relevant to this discussion, I include a letter I wrote to my Rav  a few months ago.  You can insert the phenomena of intimidation and abuse of victims mentioned in your blog to my list of disillusionment.

If you would like to post this on your blog (anonymously of course) I would be grateful to see what response it gets.  

And I would also very much like to know how you deal with this situation.  Can you see any way forward?  Can Klal Yisrael be saved from this horrible scourge where "frum" social policy is effectively dictated by a bunch of corrupt, immoral bullies?

============================================

Rebbe,

I have for a long time harbored several misgivings about the Charedi world.  You already know my opinion about the seeming obsession with chumros.  Moreover, I find the very concept of categorizing Jews quite offensive: was David Hamelech charedi?  Was he Dati-Leumi or Tziyoni?  No, he was a Yehudi.  OK, I can tolerate as much as saying which shevet you belong to, so maybe I can deal with Sefardi and Ashkenazi labels, because we have different minhagim - just so long as there is mutual respect, and my saying I'm Ashkenazi doesn't mean I think less of the next guy who happens to have made aliya from Iraq.  But these days, when someone says they're Charedi, it usually carries implications that everyone else is somehow a lesser Jew, holding at a lower level at best; off the derech and an apikoros at worst.  And this last series of events in Beit Shemesh and Mea Shearim is only serving to solidify this perception in my eyes.  Notwithstanding the unbelievable chessed and selflessness of individuals in the Charedi world (e.g. Zaka, Yad Sarah, Hatzola etc.) it is becoming increasingly apparent to me that the mainstream Charedi establishment is becoming more and more openly hostile to and deprecating of all other Jews.

And it comes from the top.  Rav Elyashiv may be a sacred cow, but this letter that was trumpeted all over the Charedi media just blows me away.  I didn't trust the media to translate and excerpt it for me; I read it in full, with my own eyes - and it is totally unambiguous.  No to the army.  No to secular studies.  No to any form of contact with the secular world.  And the startling claim "אשר לא שערום אבותינו" - that our ancestors never learned these things.  So Rambam wasn't a physician.  Rashi wasn't a vintner.  The Chayei Adam wasn't a businessman.  Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov weren't shepherds.  And people like me, who committed the sin of learning a trade and don't spend our time in full time learning - and especially those who go to the army - are clearly outside the fold, תועים and חטאים, in the opinion of Rav Elyashiv, the Official Gadol HaDor.

My best דין לכף זכות is that R' Elyashiv did not write this letter, and that his signature at the bottom is forged.  But considering that the learned Rav has not protested against the forgery of his signature here, we must conclude either that he agrees with the content, that he is being kept in ignorance by his askanim/handlers, or that his protests are not being allowed to be publicized.  And whichever conclusion we come to, it makes it very difficult to take anything I hear in his name seriously.  If he is so out of touch with the outside world because everything reaching him or emanating from him is so thoroughly filtered and perverted by his askanim, then frankly he is no more than a puppet.

Irrespective of whether or not Rav Elyashiv actually wrote this letter, the common perception now is that this is the Official Charedi Position on life.  Any True Believer must forswear any secular education, accept the privations associated with having no professional qualifications and therefore the extremely high probability  lifelong poverty and reliance on handouts from the aforementioned חטאים and תועים with whom he should have no contact (beyond extending his palm to them).  And not a breath of protest or dissent from anyone.  Since it comes from Rav Elyashiv, this is Torah MiSinai, and to question it is apikorsus.

I'm not buying the apologetics anymore about Charedi society being centered on chessed.  Haven't bought it since the charedim turned their backs on the Jews of Gush Katif.  If the Jew in need wears (or wore) a different kind of kippa, it's not for us to protest if he gets kicked out of his home and has his life ruined - just so long as the government keeps funding our yeshivos.  We'll protest about desecration of ancient graves on Kvish 6 and remain silent about the desecration of fresh graves in Neve Dekalim.  The behavior of the Sikrikim in Beit Shemesh and Mea Shearim does not strike me as an aberration, but rather the logical conclusion of a certain attitude about life that seems to characterize the Charedi world in general.  So it makes perfect sense that the Rabbonim don't condemn it; why should they, if it serves their purposes?  

אמר רבי אלעזר אמר רבי חנינא: תלמידי חכמים מרבים שלום בעולם.  

I am no Talmid Chacham, and I cannot judge who is a Talmid Chacham.  But I am pretty well grounded in logic.  And if the above statement is true, then it logically follows that anyone who increases machlokes in the world ipso facto cannot be a Talmid Chacham.  

Rebbe, I have to tell you, if I had not learned Torah under Rabbi G' ZTz"L, I probably would have come to the conclusion by now that there are no Talmidei Chachamim left in the world, and maybe even that Torah produces self-righteous, self-centered and elitist bullies who don't give a tinker's cuss about anyone outside of their narrow world.  If it were not for you, presenting a sane alternative to the insanity of the rest of the Charedi world, I might already have packed my bags and gone back  so that I could educate my children in the school that Rav G' founded, and draw my inspiration from what seems now to be one of the last sources of genuine Torah in the world.  Torah without politics.  Torah without divisions.  Torah without judgmentalism.  Just Torah.  And Shalom.

Chillul Hashem cuts deep.  It's not just chilonim who are alienated by this disgraceful behavior and the שתיקה כהודאה of the Charedi world.  It's even frum Jews like me.  And who knows how many people never learned Sane Torah under a Rabbi G', and have been pushed off the derech altogether?

Please convince me I am wrong.  And please tell me who the talmidei chachamim are in our generation who are increasing Shalom in the world.  I am sick to my stomach, disillusioned, and frankly, hanging on to the thread that is Rabbi G' to maintain my own faith.

Sincerely,

Bullies, trolls & sick people

For those of you who are following the abusive comments from "Outraged" - you are seeing in real time what goes on in the frum community regarding those who dare criticize the establishment view. This is also the standard procedure against those who  report abuse - whether victims, families or concerned community members. This is going on big time in Lakewood now regarding the Yosef Kolko case. The debate there  is not a reasoned one with halacha or cost/benefit analysis. There are a few individuals who threaten - with epithets such as moser or  lashon harah - apikoros. At other times they are more blunt - "your kid is no longer welcome in yeshiva because you are a moser." Sometimes it is more subtle such as no shidduchim. This the intimidation that D.A. Charles Hynes referred in abuse cases when the defendant's name is revealed.

By and large the abuse comes from  askanim or  zealot rabbis. However it is important to note - this bullying doesn't go on just against bloggers or abuse victims. It is also used against the rabbinical leaders themselves. Tropper was not only good at handing at the goodies to those who supported him - but he was good threatening those who stood up to him. Thus he achieved the silence of gedolim - who knew he was twisted - but didn't want the burden that came with confronting him

One of America's leading gedolim was threatened that if he didn't sign a certain letter denouncing the Zoo Rabbi - he was finished because top student would no longer be sent to his yeshiva. He signed it.

Outraged has threatened me on various levels. - the spiritual (loss of olam habah for daring to criticize gedolim), social (find those who have influence with me so he can knock be out of my perch), psychlogical (I am sick and in need of therapy 4 days a week)...... etc etc.

These threats are not idle ones and he is seriously out to get me. This is the dynamic that the Netziv wrote about in his introduction to Bereishis. The Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of pious individuals who felt that anyone who disagreed with them was a heretic and had to be killed. This righteousness was behind the lashon harah and sinas chinam.

CDC: Metzitza infected 11 Babies in NYC

Time Magazine   The report is sure to reignite a long-simmering debate over public health and religious liberties: the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported on Thursday that 11 baby boys in New York City were infected with herpes between Nov. 2000 and Dec. 2011 following an ultra-Orthodox Jewish circumcision ritual called metzitzah b’peh — or oral suction — in which the mohel puts his mouth directly on the newborn’s circumcised penis and sucks away the blood.

Ten of the babies were hospitalized, at least two developed brain damage and two died, according to the New York City health department. In 2005, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg asked rabbis throughout the city to move away from performing metzitzah b’peh — and also issued an open letter [PDF] to the Jewish community warning of the health risks — but they refused claiming the practice was safe.

Convert of R' Karelitz rejected by Rabbinut Court

Haaretz   The Netanya Rabbinical Court recently rejected a request by a woman to have her conversion recognized, even though it had been conducted by the Bnei Brak Rabbinical Court of Rabbi Nissim Karelitz, which is considered one of the most respected rabbinical courts in the ultra-Orthodox world.

This was an extraordinary decision, since state rabbinical courts usually approve the rulings and conversions of Haredi rabbinical courts automatically. But the Netanya panel, headed by Rabbi Shlomo Shapira, declared that Haredi rabbinical courts have no intrinsic advantage and that conversions by the state rabbinical courts are preferred. [...]

ORA: A Child is a Tool against a Parent

Guest Post: Larry Silverstein. It should not be surprising that Rabbi Jeremy Stern and ORA would openly complain about demonstrators, such as himself, having to travel from New York or Pennsylvania to Silver Spring to demonstrate against Aharon - while completely disregarding that ORA is demanding that the child have to travel from Pennsylvania to Silver Spring every time the child is to spend time with Aharon.  See http://www.daattorah.blogspot.com/2012/06/oras-inconsistencies-regarding-aharon.html

ORA frequently acts in complete disregard of, or directly contrary to, the best interests of the children in ORA's cases - such as supporting several child abductors, and trying to prevent children from spending time with their fathers. 

For ORA, a child is just a lowly tool to be used against a parent.  ORA is encouraging and assisting Tamar in using the child of which she and Aharon are parents as a mere tool against Aharon.  What is in the child's best interests is subordinated to using the child as a tool against the other parent for any purpose Tamar and ORA choose.  

And these are not unsupported accusations.  ORA itself openly boasts to the media that it is using the child as a tool against Aharon, such as pressuring Aharon's relatives to stop making it possible for the child to see Aharon.

"ORA has tried to get Friedman’s relatives to agree to stop helping him ferry his 4-year-old daughter between her parents’ homes for her semi-monthly visitation with Friedman. But they have not agreed," the Forward reported, citing Rabbi Stern. http://blogs.forward.com/sisterhood-blog/152345/congressman-pressed-on-agunah-issue/

Rabbi Jeremy Stern has said that ORA considers it appropriate to demonstrate against Aharon's relatives for the supposed sin of enabling the child to spend time with Aharon, and has already done so.  Rabbi Stern called up Aharon's relatives on the day they picked up the child -  threatening them for making it possible for the child to spend time with Aharon.  And Rabbi Stern can only know which relative to threaten, because Tamar tells him.   (Aharon lets Tamar know in advance who is coming to pick up the child so that the child will know.)

Tamar also organized a large demonstration at her house in front of the child against the child's aunt, uncle, and three young cousins, when they came to pick up the child - and refused to let them pick up the child before subjecting them to additional harassment by her lawyer and rabbi. 

Note that under the current parenting schedule, it is sometimes impossible for Aharon to pick up the child for the weekend before Shabbos, and the only way the child can be with him on scheduled weekends is if Aharon's relatives do the driving.  [The parenting schedule generally has Aharon picking up the child from Tamar's house on Thursdays at 5 (although sometimes the pickup time is not until Friday afternoon or Erev Yom Tov), but given that Aharon has a full-time job in Washington DC and Tamar unilaterally relocated the child to Pennsylvania, Aharon is often not able to leave work early enough on Thursday to pick up the child before the child's bedtime (note that Aharon leaves work early each Friday (except in the summer), so he can't always leave early on Thursdays as well) nor generally leave work early enough on Friday to pick the child up before Shabbos,  Tamar vehemently objected to the schedule, arguing that the child should not miss school on Fridays and should not be allowed to travel to Silver Spring for most of the child's time with Aharon.]