Forced conversion

 Ramban (Devarim 21:12): The reason for all the rules and procedures required for the Yofas To’ar (beautiful captive) is that she is being converted against her will. She is not asked if she wants to leave her religion and become Jewish as is done with other converts. She is told by her captor that she must keep the Torah whether she likes it or not and must abandon her religion. That is why the verse says she must cry for her father and her mother because she is forced to leave her people and deity. This is the derasha of R’ Akiva that “her father” refers to idolatry as it says in Yermiyahu (2:27), “They say to the tree ‘you are my father’ and to the rock “you gave birth to me.’ ”  In sum, she is mourning over leaving her religion and becoming part of another nation. It is plausible that the court forces her to immerse in a mikveh and is done with slaves. Consequently since she is not becoming Jewish in the normal way the Torah distances her during this time. Our Sages say that the reason for having her mourn and and cry is that she should become repulsive and her captor will lose his lust for her. The Ibn Ezra says it is out of respect to her parents who died in the battle. In contrast the Rambam(Moreh Nevuchim 3:41) says it is to be merciful with her so that she can come to grips with her new situation because it is known that crying and mourning ultimately bring tranquility. The Rambam says during this period of mourning she is not forced to leave her religion and he is not to have sexual relations with her. However in my view this time is not to show kindness to her. Rather it is to uproot the name of her deity from her mouth and her heart as well as remove the pain of separation and loss of her father and mother and her people. That is because it is wrong to have sexual relations with a woman who is being forced and is in mourning as our Sages (Nedarim 20b) prohibited concerning a women that the husband has already decided to divorce her. So obviously in this case where she is crying in her heart to her deity to save her and return her to her people and deity (Ruth 1:15). Therefore when she is informed that she is being forcibly separated from her people and her land and being converted to Judaism, she is also told that she should give up any thought about her father and mother and her land because she will never see them again. She is told that now she will be the wife of her captor following Jewish custom (daas Moshe and Yehudis) (Kesubos 72a) Judaism. At this point she is given time to cry and mourn in order to calm down from her anguish and hopes. Mourning eventual brings acceptance and tranquility. During this time she will come to grips with the reality of conversion and this will partiall uproot idolatry from her heart as well as concern for her people and nation. She will let go of them and attach herself to this man (who captured her) as she becomes accustomed to him. That is why the Torah says that she is to be brought into his house… in the hope that she will accept her lot. All the above is only relevant when she is converted through force. However if she willing converts before a beis din according to the normal procedure for conversion – she is permitted to her captor immediately or to his father or brothers. This is stated explicitly in Yevamos (47b), “She shall cry for her father and mother for a month.” However this is only true when she doesn’t accept Judaism willingly. However if she accepts Judaism then she immerses herself in mikve and she is permitted at once. It is possible that this procedure is done with all female captives of war. In other words everyone is knows that they will be subject to this procedure – if they don’t agree to convert. Therefore because of fear of this procedure she will agree to convert from the beginning to avoid the procedure. That is why Devarim (21:14) says that in the end of he doesn’t want her she is set free – that she is free to return to her religion and she is not forced to observe the Jewish religion. That is because only the person who willing accepted conversion to Judaism is forced to observe it. Therefore only if she accepted Judaism willingly and yet violated Shabbos she is subject to stoning and if she ate pork she is subject to lashes. In other words the willing convert who ends up violating Jewish law is treated as any Jew who violates Jewish law. to send her. Furthermore if she converted willingly without being forced – she is not sent free if her captor rejects her. Because if she is viewed as being motivated to  convert out of fear - she still has the status of a full Jew. This is stated in Yevamos (24b) that in cases of questionable motivation that they are still considered full Jews.