Rav Sternbuch: Can a talmid chachom serve his son?

Rav Sternbuch (4:209): In Kiddushin (31b) it mentions that R’ Yaakov’s father and mother both poured him a drink. The gemora concludes that he should take the drink from his mother but not from his father since his father is a talmid chachom he will be insulted if his son accepts the drink from him. In other words, since his father is a talmid chachom who wants to serve his son and the son agrees to accept his service – it will make his father feel insulted. These words are astounding! We have a case where the father wants to do something for his son so why would he be insulted if his son accepted his offer? Was his father just trying to test his son to see whether he would accept? Consequently this halachic conclusion must only be in the case where the mother is there and wants to help and but the son would rather accept it from his father. In such a case it would appear that since his father is a talmid chachom it would be degrading for him because the father is being treated as equivalent to his mother. That is why he should take the drink from his father but rather he should take it from his mother. It would follow from this analysis that if only the father was offering a drink then it would be permitted to take the drink. With this explanation, all the questions of the Maharsha on the gemora later regarding where the father is not concerned about his honor that it is not a concern and that the son is permitted to take it. However there is a problem with this answer since Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 240:25) doesn’t make this distinction and simply says that if the father is a talmid chachom that it is prohibited for the son to accept the drink. That is because if he allows his father to serve him it seems that he is insulting the father’s Torah. Thus it seems according to the Shulchan Aruch that even if the father is forgiving of his honor and really wants to serve his son, even so if the son accepts the drink the father would be insulted. This is in according with the text of the gemora here. This matter in my opinion requires great study and it is an astounding innovation. (Look at the Birchei Yosef in the name of the Pri Chodosh that he should not accept even if the father is very insistent). Perhaps this is true only if this is done on a regular basis then we should be concerned that once in a while he might be insulted. It would follow that it is always prohibited to accept service from a talmid chachom because of the possibility that he would be insulted when someone accepts his offer. In other words even if the talmid chachom really wants to be of serve it would be prohibited to accept the offer just as it is here concerning a father who wants to provide service. Nevertheless the Shulchan Aruch rules that it is prohibited unless you want to conclude that it is only prohibited if it is done on a regular basis. This matter requires further thought. That is of course referring to any Torah scholar who wants to serve others but a student who wants to serve – it a is mitzva to accept as in mentioned in Chazal.

Cherem R Gershom & Remarriage - Rav Sternbuch 3:416

 Rav Sternbuch 3 416

Dor Yeshorim - Wall Street Journal interview

Wall Street Journal             Dor Yeshorim Web site

Rabbi Josef Ekstein, who had four children die of Tay-Sachs disease, a fatal neurodegenerative condition, founded a program called Dor Yeshorim to screen people and create a database with the test results while providing participants with anonymity. Young people—typically from age 17 to their early 20s—who get tested are assigned a personal identification number and birth date without the year. The program screens for nine conditions common among Ashkenazi Jews—those who can trace ancestry to Central and Eastern Europe—and the information is kept in a database by Dor Yeshorim, which means "upright generation" in Hebrew.

How much to reveal to people remains a contentious issue in the gene-testing field. Some geneticists argue that scientists still have no grasp of most gene mutations' relevance, and that sharing information whose meaning is uncertain is potentially harmful. In some cases, people might endlessly worry or alter their lives because of a mutation for which there is no effective treatment or that turns out to be benign; others may ignore medical advice because genes show they aren't predisposed to a particular condition, even though screening can't rule out the possibility a disease will develop.

Yaniv Erlich, a geneticist at the Whitehead Institute in Cambridge, Mass., who works with Dor Yeshorim on research projects, says the group's decision to share only what it considers "actionable information" is a stance taken by many geneticists. What's unusual is that, in this case, "the marriage is the actionable information," he says.

Still, researchers believe that while risk can be lowered, it can never be completely eliminated. In genetics and love, says Edwin Kolodny, professor emeritus in neurology at New York University Medical Center and chairman of Dor Yeshorim's medical advisory board, "Marriage in most situations remains a lottery where we just take our chances."

Rav Gestetner to Rav Miller - Remarry without heter 100 Rabbonim?

Rav Gestetner to Rav Miller

Sarah Schenirer: Lecture by Dr. Hillel Abramson

Classical example of false ma'us ali claims

False ma'us ali claims against the husband

Higgs Boson - who cares?

Alleged rapist working in Brooklyn Yeshiva - Background check?

NY Daily News   Moshe Pinter, 28, was arrested and charged with a trying to molest a 13-year old boy in 2007, but pled down the top felony charge to a misdemeanor child endangerment offense after the victim declined to testify against him, according to court records and sources.

Pinter was sentenced to three years of probation, but was not barred from working with minors.

For the past year Pinter has been working at Ohr Hameir Yeshiva in Borough Park chaperoning Hasidic teens on weekend getaways while parents had no idea of his criminal past - which also includes two theft convictions.

Child victim advocates said the case highlights the need for private schools to be legally obligated to run fingerprint and background checks on employees and for Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes to publicize the names of convicted perpetrators in the Jewish community.

Debate over drafting Chareidim & Arabs

NY Times  On one level, the questions shaking the Israeli political system this week are pragmatic: how many ultra-Orthodox men and Arab citizens should be drafted into the military or national service, over how many years and how should those who resist be penalized? 

But the debate over these details masks a more fundamental and fractious one about evolving identity in this still-young state, where a “people’s army” has long been a defining principle, and about the growing cleavage among its tribes. 

That is what has brought Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s broad unity coalition to the brink of collapse in recent days, with an Aug. 1 deadline looming to replace a law providing draft exemptions to thousands of men studying in yeshivas that the Supreme Court deemed illegal in February. 

“What’s at stake is two cultures, two civilizations,” Professor Stern added, referring to the ultra-Orthodox, known as Haredim, and other Jews here. “These two civilizations used to live in some kind of peace because each one thought that the other is going to disappear eventually. Nowadays I think everybody realizes that the two camps are here to stay, and we have to decide what will be the identity in the public sphere.”

Victim who Assaulted Molester Priest - Acquitted

CNN A California jury Thursday acquitted a man charged with assaulting a retired Catholic priest, in a case that prosecutors had described as a vigilante attack.

Weiss Family Statement & Supporting Documents

Weiss Family Statement

Nachlaot: An anonymous letter objecting to a post

I just received this letter today. It is a demand that I remove a post regarding an article that appeared in the Jerusalem Post about the child abuse scandal in Nachlaot.  This is an example of the pressure that happens in the Orthodox community regarding discussing of child abuse. Anonymous letters,  anonymous phone calls etc. 

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He masterminded systematic rape of over 100 kids :The nightmare of Nachlaot

JPost

Dear Rabbi,

I recently went through your blogs on  Nachlaot and see that you are not one of the people who have been irrationally pushing the witch hunt that has been going on in Nachlaot.  Since your blog comes up every time a search is done on Nachlaot abuse, I assumed you were one of the many inciters.  In this I apologize.  However, I will take you to task on the article you did print from the Jerusalem Post.  I am not sure for what purpose you posted it.   Perhaps you didn't have any better thing to post that day.  In any case, the fact that you took the effort to give validity to an article from the JP that is based on lies and contains mostly lies is not forgivable.  (Every one is judged according to who they are.)  Therefore, since you have involved yourself in outright Motzie Shem Ra(everyone knows who S is), and chose to give the validity of the Torah to these lies by posting them on your blog as a truth, it is only right that you should want to correct the ill truths that you presented as truth. 

There is several reasons why you would want to do this.  A. Many innocent lives have been destroyed.  The only way to correct that is to expose the lies and establish the truth.  B.  As long as the children are being treated based on lies, they will never get better.  1. Many of the children that are in treatment may not have been abused. 2. And if they were abused, it is not by the people they are claiming to have abused them.  3.  The people that are abusing them are still getting away with it,  i.e. brothers,  Rebbis or whoever might actually have access to them.  C.  Several people that are in jail very well may be innocent.  D. All the other reasons stated in the letters of the Rabbis that say it much more eloquently than I do.

Therefore, it is imperative that you do what you can do to straighten out this situation.  To stand up in the name of truth. 

Having been falsely accused,  basically ostracized from the Jewish community, the Shechina cries.  

One of the MANY falsely accused of Nachlaot. 

http://nachlaotchildabuse.blogspot.com/2012/07/moral-panic-or-modern-day-witch-hunt.html

http://nachlaotchildabuse.blogspot.com/2012/06/english-translation-of-letters-written.html