Real meaning of LaG BaOmar - Rabbi Hoffman

The Real Meaning of LaG BaOmer By Rabbi Yair Hoffman
The Ramah Shulchan Aruch (OC 493:2) that on LaG BaOmer we engage slightly in Simcha – joy. Commemorating LaG BaOmer is a serious matter. The Mogen Avrohom cites the Kavanos HaArizal that discusses a certain individual who had the habit of reciting Nachem every day. He continued to do so on LaG BaOmer as well. For doing so he was punished. We see, therefore, that one should take the words of the Ramah quite seriously. A number of reasons are cited by Torah authorities for commemorating Lag BaOmer: • It commemorates the students of Rabbi Akiva who ceased dying during this day – although the deaths persisted between Pesach and Shavuos. (Shla Psachim 525). • This day is the Yartzeit of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai who revealed the inner secrets of the Torah (Chayei Adam Moadim 131:11) • This is the day that Rabbi Akiva granted ordination to his five students – among them Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai – they did not die in the plague that struck Rabbi Akiva’s other students (Pri Chadash OC 493) • It also commemorates the Manna which began to fall on this day after the Bnei Yisroel left Egypt (Responsa Chsam Sofer YD #233 “Amnam Yadati”). In this short essay, we will attempt to discuss each of the four reasons mentioned above. The Students of Rabbi Akiva The Talmud (Yevamos 62b) tells us that 12,000 pairs of Rabbi Akiva’s students died on account of the fact that they did not extend honor to one another. Rav Chatzkel Levenstein zatzal asks how it could be that the great students of Rabbi Akiva neglected this most basic of principles? His answer is most illuminating. Our Rabbis teach us that Kinah, Kavod and Taavah – jealousy, the pursuit of honor, and the pursuit of desires take one out of this world. “If so,” Rabbi Akiva’s students reasoned, “how can we accord each other this spiritual poison?” Rabbi Levenstein explains that they were unaware that, in fact, honor is only poisonous when one seeks it – but when one extends it to another it is not poisonous at all. When we build the self-esteem of others, it is actually quite healthy. Rav Levenstein explains that this notion is very subtle and nuanced and it could well be that the notion itself was only revealed in the world at that time. Why then were they punished? They were smart enough to have been able to figure out and contemplate this issue by themselves. Having neglected to delve into this psychological insight was their error. Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai Rashbi, whose Yartzeit we commemorate on this day, merited to compose two extraordinary books that form part of the Zohar. They are the Adara Rabbah and the Adarah Zutah. Rav Yoseph Chaim in his Responsa (Rav Pe’alim YD #156) explains why it was that Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, above and beyond his masters the Tannaim, merited to write these extraordinary books. He explains that although his teachers and masters were greater than he was, he had the ability of couching these teachings in esoteric terms. Indeed, Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai was so adept at obscuring the true understanding of these thoughts, that they could even be expounded upon publically – and only those that truly merit understanding it would be able to figure out the true inner meaning and import. According to this, we commemorate the fact that Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai not only transmitted these remarkable teachings, but vouchsafed them in such a manner that they not be abused or taught to those who are unworthy. Jewish Continuity The ordination that Rabbi Akiva conducted on his five students was a heroic event that changed the course of Jewish history, and that of the world. These students were Rabbi Meir, Rabbi Yehudah, Rabbi Yossi, Rabbi Shimon and Rabbi Elazar Ben Shamoa. Under the pressure of the dark forces of Roman tyranny and religious oppression, these valiant scholars, who were privy to the noblest ideals of the Bible, its teachings and oral traditions, knew that no matter what the cost – they must ensure the continuity of these teachings. They were the future educators of us all. It was a point in time where the forces of evil and darkness were pitted against goodness and light. The light of Torah ultimately won out and Torah Judaism was to effect and alter the world. We commemorate this remarkable event on this day of LaG BaOmer. The words of the Mogen Avrohom concerning the man who was punished for not commemorating this day are, therefore, well understood. The Manna The Manna represents the spiritual nourishment that G-d granted the Jewish people upon their departure from Egypt. Manna allowed us, the Jewish people, to develop a close bond, a Dveikus, with the Creator – that has defined who we are as a nation. Although the Manna no longer falls, the admonition that the Jewish people have to continue that bond, to continue imitating G-d and attempting to be like Him has never ceased. The Talmud (Shabbos 133b) tells us Mah Hu Rachum af attah Rachum veChanun – just as He is Merciful, so should you be merciful. Just as He is kind so too must you be kind. Just as He clothes the poor - so should you clothe the poor. Just as He buries the dead, so should you buy the dead. This is the message of the Manna that still exists to this day, and this is what LaG BaOmer commemorates. Nonetheless, perhaps due to the deaths of so many of Rabbi Akiva’s students, the Minhag is to celebrate a little bit and not to make it into a full-fledged holiday. The Chsam Sofer points out that our Talmud does not mention it as a holiday at all. So how do we commemorate this day? The Bnei Yissasschar states that the custom is to light a number of candles in Shul on this day. We do not fast on this day – even for a Yahrtzeit, except for a fast of a bad dream. We do not recite Tachanun on this day, nor the Mincha before it. We get married and attend weddings. We join in with singing and dancing, and we listen to music (See Pri Magadim Aishel Avrohom 493:1). So as we hear the song and dance of the Jewish weddings and the words, “Od Yeshamah, let it still be heard in the cities of Yehudah and in the outskirts of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of happiness, the sound of the groom and the sound of the bride” let us think of these four reasons: Building the self-esteem of others and according others due honor is of utmost importance; vouchsafing the teachings of the Torah is paramount; Jewish continuity and education is key; and the spiritual bond and Dveikus that we have with Hashem should be central to our lives. May Hashem bring the Geulah Shleimah speedily in our days! The author can be reached at yairhoffman2@gmail.com

Secular look at Chareidim #2: Amnon Levi

Secular look at Chareidim #1: Amnon Levi

Abuse: Brooklyn man sentenced to 20 years

NY Daily News  

A perverted Brooklyn father who admitted Monday to sexually abusing two young children over several years will be sentenced to 20 years to life in prison.

The surprise plea deal for Michael Sabo, 38, came just as his abuse and child pornography trial was set to start in Brooklyn Supreme Court.

He pleaded guilty to molesting a 5-year-old boy for five years starting in 2001 and to repeatedly forcing a little girl to engage in sex acts when she was between the ages 6 and 9.

Abuse: Shame of Catholic Church by BBC

Time Magazine

"Immorality, liberality leads to murders": Chief Rabbi

YNet     Chief Sephardi Rabbi Shlomo Amar said that the recent wave of murders is the result of lax education and promiscuity. "A person who is allowed (to do) anything doesn't respect boundaries," the rabbi told Ynet.

"And so we've reached a situation in which young people – who aren't bad or criminals – murder someone who criticizes them; (a situation) in which women murder, children kill their parents and parents kill their children. I've heard about it and I'm frightened." 

Amar said that there is a "terrible crisis in the education of the (young) generation," mainly a lack of boundaries. "Today, people think that anyone who wants to maintain minimal modesty is primitive and belongs to a different generation. Things that were condemned by every other generation, considered abhorrent by the Torah, have become legitimate."

Abuse: More time for Justice

NYTimes Hawaii significantly strengthened its protections against child sexual abuse last month when Gov. Neil Abercrombie signed a measure extending the statute of limitations for civil lawsuits filed by child victims. At least as important, it opens a one-time two-year window to allow victims to file suits against their abusers even if the time limit had expired under the old law. 

Like similar laws in California and Delaware, the Hawaii measure recognizes some wrenching realities. It can take many years, even decades, before child abuse victims are emotionally ready to come forward and tell their stories in court. But by then, they may be barred from suing by the statute of limitations. For example, many suits against the Catholic Church have been blocked because the church’s covering up for pedophile priests made it hard for victims to come forward until long past the time limit for bringing civil claims. 

Hawaii’s new law allows child victims to bring suits up to the age of 26 (it was 20), or three years from the time the victim realizes the abuse caused injury. The law’s leading opponent was the Roman Catholic Church, which has been working hard to defeat statute of limitations reform across the country.

Lag B'Omer is dangerous!

JPost

As Lag Ba’omer approaches, a released survey states that nearly 25 percent of parents disregard their children’s safety by not supervising dangerous bonfires.  [...]

Beterem, the National Center for Child Safety and Health, said that most people understand where to initiate bonfires – in an open area without telephone and electricity wires, trees, traffic and combustible products. But many parents are unaware and fail to prevent young children from approaching the bonfire, especially in windy weather.

ORA - "beis din should give authorization"

guest post: Rabbi Jeremy Stern admits (at 58:00) that public pressure on a husband for not giving a get is inappropriate halachically absent a ruling from a beis din that a get be given.  Nonetheless, Ora was publicly demonstrating against Friedman and his family for over a year before any beis din had called on him to give a get.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEi4SXT_fCA

ORA: 1 Million dollars vs 1 child

Guest Post: Rabbi Jeremy Stern acknowledges that if a wife steals a million dollars from the husband and runs away, "she acted completely inappropriately."  He also acknowledges that in such a case the husband is not required give a get absent the husband having a "fair day in court."  [starting at 58:47]

Apparently,for Rabbi Stern (and presumably Ora's rabbinical advisers such as Rabbi Schachter) one million dollars are far more important than a mere child.  Tamar Epstein abducted the child she had with Aharon Friedman, but instead of labeling Epstein's abduction of the child as completely inappropriate, Rabbi Stern calls Epstein's actions kedas ukedin.  And while Rabbi Stern acknowledges that a wife's stealing a million dollars from a husband is (absent the "husband's having a fair day in court") grounds for not giving a get, Rabbi Stern maintains that Epstein's abduction of the child is not grounds for withholding a get.

And if the husband were to agree to postpone adjudication in civil court to bring the matter to BD, but then the wife were to violate the BD's orders so that the case is heard by the civil court at a much later date, and the court were to rule (at the wife's request) that the wife can keep the money or the child because the husband had waived his right to recover the money or the child as a result of delaying the court trial in order to have the matter decided in Beis Din, the husband would hardly have had a "fair day in court."

Ma'us alei: Husband disgusting/wife sensitive?

We have been discussing the issue of what to do when the wife declares ma'us alei to beis din primarily as to whether the husband is forced in some to give a divorce. Rambam(Ishus 14:8) says she can not be forced to live with him because she is not a captive who can be forced to be with someone she hates.   We have this teshuva of  Rav Ovadiya Yosef which indicates we have to see that she really views him as disgusting or repellant and not that she is interested in another man.There are clearly cases such as a wife beater or psychopath where there is no need to explain ma'us since any intelligent adult would also find him disgusting.

 But what if we see that the husband is not terrible - but she says she can't stand him. Do we insist that she has to put up with her dislike of her husband for the sake of the family? Or does ma'us alei simply mean - he is not my cup of tea and I want out. What is she could deal with him - if she was on psychiatric medication - does she need to take medication to preserve the marriage? What if he is not frum enough and it grates on her nerves how insensitive he is to Torah - is that considered ma'us alei. What if he is too frum and is machmir on everything - she can't stand it - is that ma'us alei.

In sum, does ma'us alei mean merely she personally can't stand him or does it mean that objectively this person has to be disgusting? Does she have to work on herself not to find him disgusting?