Rav Sternbuch: Living with Bitachon

Bad Charity: Destroying with kindness

Time Magazine

In the history of foreign aid, it looked pretty harmless: a young Florida businessman decided to collect a million shirts and send them to poor people in Africa. Jason Sadler just wanted to help. He thought he'd start with all the leftover T-shirts from his advertising company, I Wear Your Shirt. But judging from the response Sadler got from a group of foreign-aid bloggers, you'd think he wanted to toss squirrels into wood chippers or steal lunchboxes from fourth-graders.

"I have thick skin, I don't mind, but it's just the way they responded — it was just, 'You're an idiot, here's another stupid idea, I hope this fails,'" Sadler, 27, tells TIME. "It really was offensive because all I'm trying to do is trying to make something good happen and motivate people to get off their butts, get off the couch and do something to help."[...]

Kaifeng undergoing unusual Jewish revival

Jewish Tribune

TORONTO – The ancient Jewish community of Kaifeng, China, is experiencing an unusual revival, with many people interested in learning about their heritage. Shi Lei, a descendant of one of the original Jewish families of Kaifeng and a Chinese national tour guide, will speak in Toronto this month to raise awareness of his community.

The event, co-sponsored by Congregation Darchei Noam and the Canadian Jewish Asian Association, will be held on May 13, 7:30 p.m. (doors open at 7), 864 Sheppard Ave. West.

Shi Lei, 32, a graduate of Henan University, studied Jewish history and religion at Bar-Ilan University, near Tel Aviv, followed by studies at Machon Meir Yeshiva in Jerusalem.

The Kaifeng Jewish community hails from Persia and observes Sephardic tradition, he told the Jewish Tribune in an interview. For instance, the Torah case they use looks like a cylinder.  [...] 

Halachic parameters of sexual behavior

I was asked to give a presentation to a group of Jewish therapists regarding the halachos of sexual activity - in two weeks.

The request was motivated by the fact that child or wife abusers will claim that behavior "X" is permitted or that behavior "Y" is prohibited according to the halacha. Obviously a rav needs to be consulted in a particular case - but therapists also have to have an idea of basic issues as well as areas where there are legitimate alternatives.

However this is not limited to child abuse but includes even the general attitude of the halacha towards sex and marriage - needs to be explicated.

I would appreciate suggestions for issues or problems that you might think might need elucidation. I already have a section in my book about abuse which includes some of this material - but it needs some fine tuning.

4 Elior Chen followers guilty of abuse

YNET

Four members of the cult led by Elior Chen were convicted on Wednesday by the Jerusalem District Court of a line of serious offenses for their involvement in the children's abuse affair. One of the children who was abused is still in hospital in a vegetative state. [...]

Betrayal and Revictimization: Preliminary Findings

Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy
© 2009 American Psychological Association 2009, Vol. 1, No. 3, 242–257

by Robyn L. Gobin and Jennifer J. Freyd University of Oregon

The link between childhood sexual abuse and subsequent sexual, emotional, and physical revictimization has been widely reported. The literature is limited, however, in its exploration of the extent to which the level of betrayal inherent in a given childhood traumatic experience affects the likelihood of experiencing similar revictimization in adolescence and adulthood. This study assessed revictimization within a betrayal trauma framework among a sample of 271 college students. As predicted, individuals who reported experiencing high-betrayal trauma at any time point (childhood, adolescence, or adulthood) were more likely to report experiences of trauma high in betrayal during adolescence and adulthood. Relative risk ratios suggest that those who experience childhood trauma high in betrayal are 4.31 times more likely to be victimized in adolescence and 5.44 times more likely to be victimized in adulthood. Logistic regression analyses identified rate of childhood high-betrayal traumas and high levels of traumatic symptoms as significant predictors of high-betrayal trauma victimization in adolescence. Finally, participants’ responses to an exploratory self-report measure examining the relationship among revictimization, awareness for interpersonal betrayals, and response to betrayals in interpersonal contexts were analyzed. Preliminary findings indicate that revictimization risk may be linked to inaccurate identification of specific intimate partner betrayals and the inability to engage in proper self-protection. Suggestions for future research and clinical implications are discussed.

The formation of healthy intimate relationships involves a willingness to trust others, a secure sense of self in relation to others, a good balance of reliance on and independence from the other, and the ability to appropriately regulate emotions in the face of conflict (Cole & Putnam, 1992). Adaptive social functioning in interpersonal relationships is based on a good conceptualization of appropriate and inappropriate behaviors as well as the ability to feel comfortable communicating personal boundaries and, when necessary, avoid or withdraw from relationships that may be emotionally, physically, or sexually harmful (Cole & Putnam, 1992; DePrince, 2005). The collection of harmful long-term consequences associated with childhood sexual abuse may render survivors vulnerable to involvement in unhealthy interpersonal relationships and, thus, vulnerable to later revictimization.

Frumkeit - self-centered religious instinct

Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur vol 2):On the narrow path to Truth in serving G‑d there is a major impediment which is called “frumkeit” (religiosity) – a term which has no clear and exact translation. “Frumkeit is the natural urge and instinct to become attached to the Creator. This instinct is also found amongst animals. Dovid said, “The lion cubs roar for their prey and ask G‑d for their food” (Tehilim 104:21). “He gives to the beast his food and to the young ravens who call to Him” (Tehilim 247:9). There is no necessity why these verses should be understood as metaphors [and therefore they will be read according to their literal meaning]. Animals have an instinctive feeling that there is someone who is concerned that they have food and this is the same instinct that works in man – but obviously at a higher level. This natural frumkeit helps us in serving G‑d. Without this natural assistance, serving G‑d would be much more difficult.

However this frumkeit, as in all instinctive urges that occur in man, is inherently egoistic and self-centered. Therefore frumkeit pushes man to do only that which is good for himself. Activities between people and actions which are done without ulterior motivations are not derived from frumkeit. One who bases his service of G-d entirely on frumkeit remains self-centered. Even if a person places many pious restrictions on himself – he will never become a kind person and he will never reach the level of being pure motivated. This is why it is necessary that we base our service of G-d on commonsense (da’as). (Study Sotah 22b lists 7 types of activities which it labels as foolish piety. Each one of them is a manifestation of frumkeit without commonsense). Commonsense has to direct our service of G-d. From the moment we desert commonsense and act only according to frumkeit, our Divine service becomes corrupted. This is true even for a person on the level of a Torah scholar. [...]

Afghanistan's last Jew vows to stay put

CNN

Kabul, Afghanistan (CNN) -- Zablon Simintov is always guaranteed the best seat in his local synagogue here, but the privilege comes with a downside: he's the last Jew in Afghanistan.

The country's 800-year-old Jewish community -- an estimated 40,000 strong at its peak -- is now a party of one. [...]

British Anti-Semitism: Review of "Trials of the Diaspora"

NYTimes

Anthony Julius has written a strong, somber book on an appalling subject: the long squalor of Jew-hatred in a supposedly enlightened, humane, liberal society. My first, personal, reflection is to give thanks that my own father, who migrated from Odessa, Russia, to London, had the sense, after sojourning there, to continue on to New York City.

With a training both literary and legal, Julius is well prepared for the immensity of his task. He is a truth-teller, and authentic enough to stand against the English literary and academic establishment, which essentially opposes the right of the state of Israel to exist, while indulging in the humbuggery that its anti-Zionism is not anti-Semitism. Endless boycotts of Israel are urged by this establishment, and might yet have produced a counter­boycott of British universities by many American academics, whether Jewish or not. However, under British law the projected boycotts may be illegal. The fierce relevance of Julius’s book is provoked by this currently prevalent anti-Semitism. [...]

Gay father,surrogate mother & Jewish identity

Haaretz

A homosexual father of twins who were born to a surrogate mother in India is being denied permission to enter the country with his infant sons. The move stems from a family court's refusal to issue a standard legal order that would pave the way for the children to obtain Israeli citizenship.

For the past two months Dan Goldberg and his twin sons, Itai and Liron, have been staying at a Mumbai hotel, awaiting permission from the Jerusalem Family Court to proceed with a paternity test that would determine whether he is indeed their biological father. [...]

Lag BOmer at kever of Rema - 70 years ago

BHol

תיעוד היסטורי: כך חגגו בקרקוב לפני 70 שנה

סדרת תמונות נדירות מתעדת את עליית יהודי פולין לפני השואה, אל קברו של הרמ"א בקראקא, ביום ההילולא - ל"ג בעומר • התמונות, המדהימות בחדותן, מנציחות את התפילות, האווירה, והקבצנים