Guest Post:
Bartley Kulp's response to
LazerA's Kollel IV-Response to criticisms.
I would just like to respond to
LazarA's post. There are some points which I am in agreement with him but I would strongly diverge on other issues. We are both in agreement that the communities in Israel and the US have their own unique sets of circumstances and that they cannot be compared 100 percent. We both agree that the Israeli
kollel paradigm is presently much more difficult to sustain than the American one. Fine, let us examine the American one.
First of all I would like to question the validity of
LazarA's assertion that men who stay in
kollel for five years generally do not have a large economic disadvantage to men who don't.
LazarA has to be living in some parallel universe. Most
hareidim who are married for five years have at least two children with a third that will be on the way in one to two or three years. Only now this couple is going to take major steps to climb the economic ladder. Am I supposed to believe that in general they are not going have a significant social-economic disadvantage compared with someone who has made an investment during that same time period towards economically bettering themselves, starting on that path before they have had children?
In the modern serviced based global economic model that exists in North America today, even non religious Jews and
goyim a like are having a hard time even with their time invested education and work experience qualifications (not to mention businesses). These people do not even have the extra expenses that are shouldered by
frum yidden like
kashrus, tuition and in many cases having to live in more expensive neighborhoods because that is where the
kehilla is. This is not to mention that secular people time there pregnancies and limit the amount of children that they have for economic reasons at their personal discretion and convenience.
Frum Jews do not have that convenient luxury. Now
LazarA wants to purport that leaving
kollel with a wife, two kids(the couple will probably have their third within a couple of years or so
b'ezrat Hashem) and in many cases today not even having rudimentary
grammar, writing, math, office computer skills or a blue collar vocation, merely involves a simple transition period of playing catch up?
Now I am not suggesting in any way that economics alone is strictly a reason on why not to learn in
kollel. On the contrary, if a couple is ready to make sacrifices for
Torah then they should be praised. This in of itself is a big
Kiddush Hashem. Their family will be spiritually off in the long run by setting the course of its values early on in the marriage by putting
Torah first above all else. So why am I rambling about economics and arguing with
LazerA's assertion that learning in
kollel does not generally have its significant economic ramifications? Because I do not believe in white wash and gilding the lily. It is that kind of talk that lead people to make decisions based on misguided assumptions that they will only come to learn as false when it is too late. Unless a couple have well off parents who are enthusiastic about supporting them or that the husband has some sort of
Yissaschar/
Zevulin arrangement, the idea of preparing for potentially hard times is in order.
Now while I am on the issue of being
mussar nefesh for
Torah, I would like to discuss another issue that has not yet been addressed in this discussion. While it is obviously praiseworthy to be
mussar nefesh for
Torah, in my opinion it is not so when it comes to be
mussar other peoples
nefesh for the same pursuit. What am I talking about? I am talking about the parents who in many cases who are not young and are not wealthy (this is not to mention the fact that they are might still be raising other children at home). What about the increasing number of parents who are being beleaguered by excessive financial demands in the name of marrying off their children. Granted that there is a great merit in being able to marry one's daughter to a
talmud chacham. Also having one's offspring learn in
kollel. For some this is a giant financial Siamese white elephant. Granted that there are a lot of parents who consider this a personal
avodah. However there are a lot of parents who socially get forced into it for the benefit of their kids and the situation is analogous to being dragged by a pick up truck on a bumpy road. This has also (as it has in Israel) greatly contributed to what is called the
shidduch crises. Families only marrying their sons to daughters who's families can provide an apartment and vice
versa. That is already a subject well written about so I will not tarry on about it here. This seems to be the rapidly expanding trend across the American
frum landscape.
This is where I agree with
LazerA's comment on social engineering and personal choices. However my issue with the current model that is being increasingly presented in American
Chareidi society is that much of those choices are already being maid for individuals by the society that they belong to. The truth is that the American community is following the same path as the Israeli one which has a
hashgafa that I personally disagree with. Not the part about learning in
kollel. The part of being more than somewhat obliged to. Also the increasingly total disregard for secular education for boys. When I say secular education I do not mean the humanities and what is called well
roundedness. I mean basic skills that can later be built upon in order that these children will be able to work as something besides cashiers or
moshgichim. Again we are taking away the variables for people to make personal choices.
My understanding of what rabbis like the
Chazon Ish were trying to accomplish was giving young men the opportunity to extend their
Torah learning and spiritual growth into their marriages. The key word being "opportunity". What has happened 50 years since then in Israel and is rapidly being deployed as the standard in the US is one of social obligation that has no regard for personal circumstance or preference.
Granted that a lot of challenges that we are socially facing today do not have a singular cause and the issues are not so simplistic. However it is obvious to anybody who has eyes that can see that we took a wrong turn at Albuquerque and we cannot continue to head in this direction. There are major changes to be made and I mean major. May it be
Hashem's will that this year we should be enlightened towards a proper path.