Vayikrah 76 - Social Thinking and Da'at = Social Intelligence by Allan Katz

Guest post Allan Katz

The Book of Leviticus- Vayikrah deals with the sacrifices, holiness and purity. It opens with … 'And Hashem- God called Moses and spoke to him saying '…The commentaries explain that Moses did not want to enter the Tabernacle- Mishkan until God had given him an invitation and permission to enter. The Midrash commentary says 'that any sage or wise scholar who has no da'at – social intelligence, is worse than a rotting carcass. Moses, who was extremely close to God, his representative and emissary in the world to teach God's Torah, perform miracles etc and he even built the Mishkan, did not enter the mishkan until God called him and invited him to enter. And just as Moses acted with דרך ארץ – derech e'retz and sensitivity, God called Moses and addressed him by his name. From this למדה התורה דרך ארץ, the Torah taught derech e'retz, the way of the world, as how people should interact with each other. If a person wants to have a conversation with someone, he should first address him by his name and then start the conversation. 

God's call to Moses was out of affection and relationship. On the other hand, God just appeared to Bilaam, the prophet of the surrounding nations, as if by chance. Out of humility, Moses wrote the words 'and God called '- וַיִּקְרָא with a small ' aleph ', so God's revelation to him would be written as similar to that of Bilaam –ויקר by chance. It seems that a precondition for prophecy, the frame of mind for engaging in the offering of sacrifices and a relationship with God and people is humility. R' Akivah says a person who is arrogant because of his Torah learning, is like a rotting carcass. "אִם נָבַלְתָּ בְהִתְנַשֵּׂא '… you became like a rotting carcass' by being arrogant.-Proverbs 30:32. This wise scholar or sage may be academically intelligent but lacks social- emotional skills, sensitivity to others, derech e'retz, common sense and common courtesies. Because of his arrogance he fails to take into account the concerns and perspectives of others, how they perceive his teaching and behavior and the possible impact and consequences of his actions on others. The sage desecrates God's name with his behavior, people say that the Torah is to blame for his behavior, and at worst, it is possible that some people would learn bad ways from him. A rotting carcass does not do much damage and people know to keep away because of the bad smell. A leading Rabbinical Judge R' Shlomo D'chovsky in his farewell speech on retiring, encouraged fellow judges – your decisions don't always have to be ' glatt', taking into account all the stringencies of the law. Sometimes a b'di'eved or lenient decision may more accurately reflect the situation and meet the needs of the parties concerned. A stringent decision may cause more problems and certainly not be true, just and contribute to peaceful relationships. R' Isaac Sher asks that( 1) all people , not only wise scholars and judges have to act with derech e'retz, be sensitive to others and act with common courtesy so why does the midrash refer only to a sage and (2) why does the midrash use the word ' da'at ' instead of the word ' derech e'retz . The wise scholar and sage, because of their learning of God's Torah are expected to reflect on the highest levels of understanding as to how people are supposed to interact with each other and be highly sensitive to how they impact on others and how they perceive their needs. The scholar should be learning practical lessons on human refinement and sensitivity from his learning and finding ways to apply his learning to an imperfect world taking into account how people experience what he says and does. This is not just derech e'retz but da'at , a highly sophisticated social intelligence and understanding of 'da'at elyon', the highest form of intelligence. When such a person is honest in his business dealings , and he speaks pleasantly to people , people begin to speak positively about him and say that his teachers and parents who have taught him Torah are sure to be happy and proud of him. The reason his ways are fine and his deeds are righteous is because this man has studied the Torah.

When it comes to children and teenagers, their lack of derech e'retz, da'at or social intelligence has less to do with character or personality flaws like arrogance, but more to do about lagging social skills. Adult problems may also be due to ' untreated lagging skills ' when they were kids .We are born to a 'social mind ' which has a predisposition to ' empathy' and available to learning. New born babies identify with the cries of other babies, showing the trait of empathy. Crucial for the development of the social mind is child- directed play with others, and also an exposure to a lot of non-verbal and verbal language. Unfortunately, children are being introduced to academic learning at a younger age and this comes at the expense of social and emotional learning – less time for play and adults focusing on compliance. And some kids are developmentally delayed and have difficulty in naturally learning these social skills and therefore are challenged in area of social interactions.

Teaching kids by rote ' social scripts or behaviors' in the hope that they can generalize to other situations and help them function more socially does not help very much. Instead of static skills, they need to learn dynamic skills that enhance their dynamic intelligence so they learn to be flexible and adapt their behavior depending on situations and people involved. This is done by promoting ' social thinking' so the skills developed are not isolated, but a product of a problem solving process. It is not only being able to perform the skill that is important, but understanding the context and the purpose of the skill. Social thinking is how we navigate the space we share with others. We have to interpret and understand peoples' motives, intentions, concerns, to assess how others are feeling and predict what will happen next – how people will react and the consequences of our words and actions etc. it is not enough for a kid to understand his intentions but how others are reading his intentions. A kid maybe able to identify his concerns and the concerns of others, but he must also be able have some understanding as to how they interpret his intentions. In the social arena, a problem is not only about the kid having a problem pursuing his concerns, but often the problem includes addressing the concerns and expectations of others. The child also needs to learn to initiate conversations, articulate his concerns, and participate in brainstorming solutions that are realistic, durable and mutually satisfying.

In Schools and even in homes, social and emotional learning is about adult expectations and the consequences imposed on kids for infractions and rewards or praise for compliance. Besides promoting the most primitive form of morality , helping kids to ask what's in it for me , they never learn to ask themselves what are the consequences of my actions on other people and the environment. Adults never model perspective taking and seeing the kids ' world through their eyes'. They fail to learn the lesson – that it is not what we teach that matters, but what kids learn, and how kids experience what we do to them and say. What matters is just ' behavior ', ignoring the whole child, his feeling and motives, in the blind belief in the power of the Lo lishma, m'toch she'lo lishmah ba lishmah. Hillel taught – if I am not for myself, who is for me and if I am only for myself, who am I. If we totally ignore kids concerns and expectations, we don't teach them the social skills and social thinking as how to pursue their own needs in appropriate ways and yet take into accounts the perspectives and concerns of others. If we want kids to have derch e'retz, da'at and social skills we need to take steps - more play and more social, emotional learning focusing on social thinking.

Reinstating the Old Fashioned Torah Part 2 The Old Fashioned Torah by Joe Orlow

Guest post by Joe Orlow

What is the Old Fashioned Torah?

The key element of the Old Fashioned Torah is that it requires a Jew to think. Books such as "Obligations of the Heart" and "Path of the Upright" make this point. A Mitzvah requires the alignment of a Jew's inner and outer states. Thought and action have to coincide. For example, for someone to "pray" without understanding that they are addressing G-d, even if they say the words in a language they understand, they have accomplished nothing.

Thinking leads to the realization that the Torah requires a man to work, not for a man to mooch. The sources in the Torah that teach that everyone must work have been taught by Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn, and will only be treated briefly here. The Rambam says that a man must marry at age eighteen, and have a job and a paid up house. The Zohar says that not to have a job and paid up house and to marry puts the man into the category of a Shoteh, a strong term meaning someone who is untrustworthy due to his careless behavior. Rava, in the Talmud, encouraged his students to have business investments that would give them the income and the time to study Torah.

To be sure, it is proper at this point in history for some men to devote themselves full time to learning. But the decision that a given individual should learn full time should be made by the community in consultation with a Rav who has nothing to gain by deciding that the man should not work. The decision not to work should not be left up to the man himself, even if his wife is willing to be the sole source of income for the family; nor should the decision be made by his Rosh Yeshiva who stands to benefit from the increase in size and prestige of the Yeshiva.

The Torah World was a natural outgrowth from the great Yeshivas that taught the Old Fashioned Torah. What happened?

The Torah World got to the point of falling apart because it began demanding unthinking unquestioning obedience to Gadolim, some of whom turned out to be unworthy of their followers (please refer to the article Pseudo Gadolim appended below). The way to counter the break up of the Torah World is to teach people to think.

It is helpful to examine how unthinking became entrenched in the Torah World. Reb Chaim of Volozhin started his Yeshiva in reaction to "Enlightened" Jews disputing with Torah-true Jews as to the legitimacy of Torah observance. The Volozhiner Yeshiva emphasized pure Torah study isolated from the give-and-take of conversations with "Maskilim". Later, Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch articulated arguments to counter the Reform and others. Rav Yisrael Salanter introduced the Musar Movement to Yeshivas. Still, there remained a standoffish attitude within Yeshivas, which is now becoming their downfall.

Specifically because all outside criticism is eschewed, Yeshivas lack a correction mechanism when their leaders veer away away from the Torah. They are closed to rebuke, immune to pressure. What was once a strength has become their undoing.

How can we teach people to think, the pre-requisite of an Old Fashioned Torah Yeshiva? That is the subject of Part 3.

Blueberry Cafe: A benefit for ORA Looking to help more Tamar Epsteins

In measles outbreaks, those who passed on vaccinations are most often the patients

Los Angeles Times

A comprehensive new study of measles and pertussis outbreaks in the United States suggests that adults' reluctance or refusal to vaccinate themselves and their children have played a key role in the resurgence of diseases that had been completely or largely eradicated in this country.

In an analysis published Tuesday in the Journal of the American Medical Assn., epidemiologists scoured published and public-health reports of measles and pertussis outbreaks to glean what role vaccination refusal and hesitance played, and how significant the contribution of waning immunity was among the vaccinated.

In measles outbreaks, the researchers found the role of the unvaccinated to be powerful. In 1,416 measles cases occurring in the United States since the disease ceased to circulate in the United States in 2000, 57% were in people who had no history being vaccinated. Of the 574 cases of measles seen in unvaccinated individuals, 405 (almost 71%) were unvaccinated due to nonmedical exemptions.

Using the reports to draw a "cumulative epidemic curve" -- the trajectory of the infection's spread -- the researchers found that unvaccinated individuals tended to be among the first, or within the first few groups of people to contract and pass along measles. That suggests that unvaccinated people ignited many of the outbreaks, and were a key accelerant in their spread as well.

In children under 5 and adults over 20 who contract measles, complications are more common and can be serious. Inner ear infections, which can cause hearing loss, are not unusual. As many as 5% of children who get measles will develop pneumonia and one in 1,000 will develop swelling in the brain, which can cause seizures and lead to deafness or intellectual disability. Death is a rare complication, but occurs in one to two children per 1,000 infected.

The new research found a slightly different picture looking at pertussis outbreaks. Of the more than 10,000 cases that occur annually, outbreak frequently occurred among the vaccinated -- evidence that vaccination with the DTaP (the combination vaccine against diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis) is not conferring lasting immunity in all who get it.

Researchers reviewed 32 reports of pertussis outbreaks in which the vaccination status of the 10,069 patients was known. Unvaccinated and undervaccinated individuals accounted for between 24% and 45% of the infected in five of the largest statewide epidemics included in the analysis. [...]

Reinstating the Old Fashioned Torah:Part 1 A Primer on the Torah World and Its Challenges

Guest post by Joe Orlow

What is the Torah World?

The "Torah World" is a worldwide network of Jewish communities. The communities are centered on the study and observance of the Torah. The men in these communities study the Torah in schools called Yeshivas. Another term used synonymously with "Torah World" is "Yeshiva World".

The children in the Torah World are sent to schools where all students are Jewish. The children study the Torah. To satisfy civil law requirements, and to prepare for working at a job, the schools also have classes in math, science, language, etc. Many communities have separate schools for boys and girls. Most of the students continue with the schooling until graduation, typically when the students are about eighteen years old. Students then often attend yeshivas (for the men) and seminaries (for the women). Marriage follows. Marriages are often arranged, with the bride and groom both raised in the Torah World. Families of ten or more children are common.

There is no strict definition of which families are in the Torah World, and which are not. Torah World families generally are part of a greater Jewish community in the cities where they reside. A general rule is that the men of the Torah World wear black suits and black hats, and will attend services, or Daven, at a Yeshiva and/or at Shuls affiliated with a Yeshiva, as well as study there.

In broad strokes, this is the Torah World.

It should be noted that there is no central governing authority in the Torah World. There are councils of Rabbis in various regions of the world. These councils, in turn, stay in communication with each other. In the U.S., Agudath Israel of America has a "Moetzes Gedolai HaTorah", "Council of Torah Sages", which self-selects Rabbis to discuss matters of import to the Torah World communities in the U.S. Each community may also have an independent council, or Vaad, and an independent Jewish Court, or Bais Din, that deals with, and decides matters of, Jewish Law, or Halacha.

Through marriage ties and through having ties to the same Torah leaders, communities in the Torah World are close-knit. In some Torah World communities, the homes of Torah families are in close proximity, to the extent that Torah World families form the majority of the population for many blocks within a city. In other communities, Torah World Jews live in near each other, but also among non-Jews and non-Torah World Jews.

The interaction of Torah World Jews with outsiders can be friendly and open in the public realm, but is also strictly proscribed, and limited, in the private realm.

How are families supported in the Torah World?

In some Torah World communities, the husbands do not generally work, outside of teaching or running camps or being paid to study Torah. Some of the money to support these Torah World families comes from tuition and camp fees paid by other Torah World families. Much of the income originates outside the Torah World from non-Torah World Jewish families who send their children to Torah World schools and camps, or non-Torah World Jews who donate money to these schools and camps.

Many husbands in Torah World families do work, and in some Torah World communities it may be most men. Other income streams for families with or without husbands with jobs or investments may be from wives working, support from relatives, support from government programs, etc. It's important to note that sitting and learning Torah full-time is still held to be the desired way of living even by those men who work. Working is seen as a fallback plan when the option of learning full time is not possible for reasons such as an unwillingness to live in near poverty.

However, even for those men who work, life can be on the financial edge, as staggering tuitions, camp fees, and cost of living in a nice neighborhood can drain the resources of even families with two incomes from husband and wife who have substantial income from professional employment. This is because poorer parents are given breaks in tuition costs. The upshot is that the wealthier families pay full tuition that essentially subsidizes the poorer families. This setup can be a disincentive for some men in destitute Torah World families to seek employment, since a large part of extra income may just go to pay tuition increases.

What is the standard of living in the Torah World?

The large families, relatively high percentage of non-working men, and cost of schooling, cost of Kosher food, etc., along with the unspoken obligation to support married children and grandchildren, leads to widespread poverty, near poverty, or just financial desperation.

How does the poverty impact the quality of life?

Many families struggle to survive in Torah communities. They willingly accept deprivation because of their high level of dedication to keeping the Torah. In some families, the women have to work to support the family, and are also responsible for the upkeep of the home, food shopping and preparation, and raising the children. It is not unusual to find women who have lost their idealism along the way, or who never fully embraced the Torah World mode of life, and who thus divorce their husbands. Constant lack of finances typically puts pressure on families, and that unrelieved pressure can be a contributing factor in divorce.

Large families can mean that the population of a Torah community expands 10% every year. Housing can become scarce in these communities, driving up the cost of living even higher. This can lead to borrowing and high levels of debt as families try to pay basic needs like utilities.

How does the Torah World leadership interface with families that are struggling?

A highly sought after qualification for a Torah World leader is a willingness to permit people to support themselves in ways that are legally and Halachically shadowy. This lends itself to disastrous results when violations of civil laws and Halacha that the corrupt Rabbis tried to keep hidden are exposed, as happens from time to time.

In other words, the corrupt Rabbis who condone wrongdoing are apparently being practical. These Rabbis are themselves under tremendous pressure to make a New Torah that sanctions sometimes ignoring civil law and Torah Halacha. Without this New Torah, the Torah World would disappear as many now permitted resources to survive would become forbidden fruit.

Thus, the very existence of the Torah World requires occasionally not following the Torah. Now, there is a concept of "Hora'a Sha'a", the need for expedient rulings on rare occasions. But even these rulings that allow breaking the Torah are part and parcel of the Torah. What many Torah World leaders permit or wink at goes well beyond the necessity to violate the Torah in order to preserve it.

A non-financial example of grinding the Torah under the heel is how the Torah World places paramount value on families appearing to be perfect by Torah World family standards. In a bizarre twisting of Halacha, some communities unofficially label children as unmarriageable if these children come from families that don't meet these community-set standards. This can lead to something as relatively benign as hiding the behavior of the sibling of a child seeking to marry, to activity designed to avoid divorce, which may include wife swapping and other adulterous under-the-radar transgressions. All this subterfuge is intended to give an outsider the impression that a home is perfect.

It is historically unusual that so many Jewish men in a community sit and learn and do not work. What will be the outcome in the long run?

It should be noted that the Torah requires men to work and support their families. There are indications that there may be a limit to how much longer the women in the Torah World will put up with being raised at home and taught in schools the lie that men not working is the highest expression of a Torah life.

After several decades of this lifestyle, we may be nearing the breaking point. The Torah World in the U.S. was born of the social upheaval of the '60's (non-Jewish calendar). The first generation of the Torah World was supported in large part by parents who worked, and by generous government programs subsidizing families and schools. The second generation was supported by these same parents, now supporting grandchildren. The family support is now drying up, since Torah World parents don't have money for themselves, much less for their married children.

It is interesting to note that the current presidential campaign in the U.S. is fueled almost entirely by a debate over whether those who work and have a comfortable life are obligated, through taxes, to subsidize those with less. The outcome of this election will have a far reaching impact on the Torah World.

We will explore further the role of women in the Torah World. In particular, what would happen if the women refused to continue to support the men?

The overwhelming burden of keeping the Torah World going falls on the Torah World women. These women are trained from birth to be the economic engine for the Torah World, in opposition to the Torah. The collective burden is growing to the point of becoming impossible to sustain.

It is becoming increasingly likely that women who have "chapped" the deception may begin to refuse to marry non-working men.

Men and women may opt out of marrying altogether due to the high divorce rate -- in other words, singles will not marry out of a fear of getting divorced and being wiped out financially and even socially.

Thus, Torah World communities will be impacted as many women choose to live a Torah-true life where their husbands work, or when singles choose, against the Torah, not to marry at all and write themselves out of the Torah World. Commensurate with this, the number of births into the Torah World will begin to dwindle. This will put even more financial burden on those left in the community, since the non-working adults will be an even higher percentage of the community at that point.

Some fault lines of Torah World communities are already apparent as significant numbers of school age children choose on their own to stop going to school. Some end up alienated from their families. Going to a school is part of the price for a ticket to a Torah World marriage. These young people, by leaving school, are essentially checking out of the Torah World.

While this breakdown of community integrity is occurring slowly now, the danger of a meltdown is looming. It would take just one generation of nineteen year old girls to rebel, and the edifice of the Torah World could crumble, as younger sisters might join the rebels, and an avalanche of refusal to serve in the ranks of the Torah World would ensue. The artifice of men learning without earning would collapse under its own weight.

Sara Schenirer revolutionized education of Jewish women. Tradition teaches that the Chashmonean only took up arms when a relative refused to be taken to the Hegmon on her wedding night. What Yeshiva girl is now studying up on the myriad of Jewish women in whose merit the Jewish People have been saved, from Sara Imeunu to Yehudis to the woman who single-handedly circumcised her baby in a concentration camp? Is this Yeshiva girl energizing herself to battle and lead us back to the Torah-true life? It would only take a few "texts" to her friends for her to pull the plug on the Torah World.

What does the future hold for the Torah World?

The Torah World has to morph, as a whole, into a Torah-true World. Men will have to find employment to find a wife and to increase the likelihood the marriage will last. This will have to be part of an organized movement, not ad hoc as is now the case.

The next segment will outline some possible ways of re-building the Torah World based on the Old Fashioned Torah.

Orthodox Jews Set Sights on N.J. Town (Toms River)and Angry Residents Resist

Bloomberg

Every home is big on glass in a Toms River, New Jersey, neighborhood called North Dover. Windows let in the sun, or show off chandeliers in multistory entrance halls.

These days, though, most homeowners draw the blinds, retreating from brushes with a fast-growing Orthodox Jewish community that’s trying to turn a swath of suburban luxury 10 miles (16 kilometers) from Atlantic beaches into an insular enclave. The rub, a township inquiry found, is “highly annoying, suspicious and creepy” tactics used by some real-estate agents.

They show up on doorsteps to tell owners that if they don’t sell, they’ll be the only non-Orthodox around. Strangers, sometimes several to a car, shoot photos and videos. When they started pulling over to ask children which house was theirs, parents put an end to street-hockey games.

“It’s like an invasion,” said Thomas Kelaher, Toms River’s three-term mayor, who’s fielded complaints from the North Dover section since mid-2015. “It’s the old throwback to the 1960s, when blockbusting happened in Philadelphia and Chicago with the African-American community -- ‘I want to buy your house. You’ll be sorry if you don’t.’ It scares the hell out of people.”

The upset has its roots in adjacent Lakewood, home to yeshivas including Beth Medrash Govoha, among the world’s biggest centers for Talmudic study. Scholars typically marry young and start large families that maintain strict gender roles and limit interaction with secular society.

Rabbi Avi Schnall, state director of Agudath Israel of America, which represents Orthodox Jews on political, social and religious issues, said a few sales agents “are overly aggressive and making a bad name for the others.” He declined to say whether anti-Semitism is at work, but said the “extent of the anger” in Lakewood’s neighboring towns is deep, fueling opposition to a learning center, a boarding school, dormitories and other proposals. [...]

Rabbi Hirsch on Korbanos part 2

By Hirschy;

"Which natural enjoyment does it [the Torah] seek to eradicate? Is there one natural enjoyment that it does not ennoble, one inborn drive that it does not hallow...? As means to a higher end, subordinate to the Law and dedicated to its purpose, these drives are holy and truly human, a way of fulfilling the human destiny." - Rabbi S.R. Hirsch , letter 15 of the Nineteen Letters (pages 196-7 in the Elias edition)

As mentioned in the previous post, shechitah is only a necessary first step. Afterwards, the real avodah begins. The blood is absorbed in a kli sha'reis. This signifies that a persons 'lifeblood' must be sanctified by being placed in a holy vessel. [5] This is followed by zerikas ha'dam.[6] The blood is placed (or thrown, depending on the type of korbon) on the corners of the mizbayach. This signifies the person taking to heart to elevate himself to the ideals which the mizbayach represents. Those ideals will be explained in a future post. For now, let up just note one important point. The mizbayach must be square. If not, it is passul. Now, a square is not a 'natural' shape. Left to the elements, objects in the wild tend to end up circular or some similar form. The mizbayach's very shape indicates that human activity is key and a positive thing. [7]

To be continued...

[5] See commentary on shemos 29:37

[6] Actually this is preceded by ha'kravah- the blood is carried to the mizbayach. However, that avodah merely symbolizes the drawing near to ha'shem that was already indicated by the person's decision to bring the korban in the first place. Therefore, this stage is dispensable and may be skipped in a scenario where the shechitah was done next to the mizbayach.

[7] According to Rabbi Hirsch, the korban symbolizes the the determination on the part of the makriv (the one bringing it) to dedicate all of his energy, abilities, and talents to the service of Hashem. Again, the point is not to eliminate anything, but to redirect it.

It cannot be over emphasized that Rabbi Hirsch utterly rejected the notion that people are fundamentally bad and need to be crushed into some sort of pathetic broken soul with no normal tendencies. See Rabbi Yechiel Yakov Weinberg's article about Rabbi Hirsch (Seridei Aish volume 4 page 364-7), where he notes that this is fundamentally what differentiates the optimistic Jewish view of this world from the morbid Christian one. "At this time, Rabbi Hirsch stood up and proclaimed the ancient truth of Judaism: life and religion are one and the same....the mitzvos were not given as an alternative to the joys of life or as some form of compensation for them.... In his writings, Rabbi Hirsch makes one fundamental argument: enliven the religious sense so that it nurses from the depths of a persons soul- not from fear of death and the punishments that follow." As Rabbi Weinberg notes, there is nothing new about this demand- it's called yir'as ha'rommemus. It's only that Rabbi Hirsch made a point of stressing it- in opposition to reformers like Holdheim who claimed that 'rabbinic' Judaism and real life are incompatible. 

See also the section "Judaism And The Moral Law Innate In Man" in Dayan Grunfeld's introduction to Rabbi Hirsch's Horeb.

Defendant Mendel Epstein has moved for bail pending appeal

   Mendel Epstein Motion 3-4-16 

No evidence Ritalin makes a difference long term for ADHD kids

Sydney Morning Herald

Drugs such as Ritalin make no difference to the long-term outcomes of children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, who continue to struggle academically and mentally as they get older, early research findings suggest.

The Murdoch Childrens Research Institute has been following 178 children with ADHD and 212 children without ADHD for three years to identify what factors make a difference to the development of children with the disorder.

By the age of seven there are severe academic, social and mental health differences between children with ADHD and their peers, the Children's Attention Project, which is funded by the National Health and Medical Research Council, found. Three years on, these disparities persist, preliminary findings suggest.

Four times as many 10-year-olds with ADHD suffer from mental health problems such as anxiety and oppositional disorder. They are also well behind their peers in their maths and reading abilities. There was no difference in outcomes between boys and girls.

"All of them continue to be substantially at risk of academic and mental health problems as they had been at seven," one of the chief investigators of the project, paediatrician Daryl Efron said.

The 13 per cent of children in the study who were taking medication such as Ritalin to treat their ADHD were doing no better or worse than their unmedicated peers at age 10. "Medication doesn't alter the long-term outcomes of kids [with ADHD]," Dr Efron said. He cautioned that the project wasn't designed to test the long-term effectiveness of drugs.

Dr Efron said drugs like Ritalin were very effective in reducing the day-to-day symptoms of ADHD "but we haven't progressed very much beyond that".

"Medication is fantastic for treating the symptoms of ADHD . . . helping kids be calmer and focus better. It doesn't surprise me that so far we haven't shown medication makes a difference to kids doing better into the future."

Dr Efron said doctors need to find out what combination of support and intervention does make a difference long-term. He suggested it could involve medication, parent support and remedial strategies.[...]

Paula Burgess has found that occupational therapy and the family's new dog have made the most difference to her seven-year-old son, Jesse, who has ADHD. Jesse will ask his mum to rock him on the yoga ball when he feels his symptoms escalating.[...]

It's been a far more positive experience than the disastrous six weeks Jesse spent on Ritalin. While his teachers noticed an improvement, Jesse's anxiety spiralled, and he would lash out at his mother when he got home from school, kicking and punching her.[...]

No, Science Is Not Faith-Based

Forbes

Even the most well-learned scientist, working within the frameworks of the most robustly tested and verified theories, can never be certain that the next experiment or measurement will continue to provide the results that we expect. Last month, when the LIGO collaboration announced the direct detection of gravitational waves for the first time, it confirmed a new aspect of Einstein’s general relativity: one that had been predicted and whose consequences had been seen indirectly — through the decay of neutron star orbits — but one that we couldn’t be sure about until we validated it directly. But writing in the Wall Street Journal, Matt Emerson makes the erroneous claim that science is faith-based, too. Here’s the crux of his argument, followed by why it falls apart.

He quotes physicist Carlo Rovelli, who wrote that the discovery of gravitational waves was the realization of a “dream based on faith in reason: that the logical deductions of Einstein and his mathematics would be reliable.” He quotes Paul Davies, who wrote, “Just because the sun has risen every day of your life, there is no guarantee that it will therefore rise tomorrow. The belief that it will—that there are indeed dependable regularities of nature—is an act of faith, but one which is indispensable to the progress of science.” And then, based on the use of the word “faith” in these two sentences, he makes the following leap:

Recognizing the existence of this kind of faith is an important step in bridging the artificial divide between science and religion, a divide that is taken for granted in schools, the media and in the culture. People often assume that science is the realm of certainty and verifiability, while religion is the place of reasonless belief. [...] The fundamental choice is not whether humans will have faith, but rather what the objects of their faith will be, and how far and into what dimensions this faith will extend.

To be willing to make this statement is to deliberately misunderstand what the enterprise of science is, and how it fundamentally differs from any theological conclusion one could ever reach.

Faith, by definition, is the belief in something despite insufficient knowledge to be certain of its veracity. Some beliefs require small leaps of faith (the example that the Sun will rise tomorrow), as the body of evidence supporting that prediction is overwhelming, while others – the existence of dark matter, the inflationary origin of our Universe, or the possibility of room-temperature superconductivity — may still be likely, but may also reasonably turn out to be wrongheaded. Yet in every case, there are two key components that make the prediction scientific:

The prediction, or the belief that the outcome can be accurately predicted, is predicated on the existence of quality evidence.

As the evidence changes — as we obtain more, newer and better evidence — and as the full suite of evidence expands, our predictions, postdictions and entire conceptions of the Universe change along with it.

There is no such thing as a good scientist who isn’t willing to both base their scientific belief on the full suite of evidence available, nor is there such a thing as a good scientist who won’t revise their beliefs in the face of new evidence.

We may have had faith that Einstein’s predictions, and the existence of gravitational waves, would turn out to be correct, and that LIGO would make the greatest scientific discovery of the 21st century so far. But if it hadn’t been true — if advanced LIGO had reached design sensitivity and seen nothing for years, or if it had seen something that conflicted with Einstein’s theory — that faith would be instantaneously discarded, and replaced by something even better: a quest to discover how to extend and supersede Einstein’s greatest accomplishment to account for the new evidence. [...]

A Tribute to Rav Shlomo Elyashiv, Author of Leshem Shevo v-Achloma: On his Ninetieth Yahrzeit

Seforim Blog    by Joey Rosenfeld

R. Shlomo Elyashiv (1841-1926) known as the Leshem after his vast body-of-work Leshem Shevo v-Achloma was a Lithuanian Kabbalist known for his adherence to the school of Kabbalat Ha-Gra.[10] Described as the fourth stage, or peh revieeh within the chain of talmidei ha-Gra, the Leshem formed a system in which the apparent contradictions between the Vilna Gaon and the Arizal were reconciled through a unique form of Kabbalistic analytics. R. Avraham Yitzhak ha-Kohen Kook, close friend and student of the Leshem described R. Elyashiv as applying Talmudic analytics (pilpul) onto the Lurianic corpus thereby clarifying and reconciling the various contradictions and textual ambiguities.[11] With an exhaustive knowledge of the gamut of Jewish esoterica- from the philosophic rationality of the rishonim to the complex intricacies of R. Chaim de La Rosa’s Torat Chachom[12]- the Leshem can be described as one of the most comprehensive as well as creative Kabbalistic thinkers of the late 19^th and early 20^th century. Born in Zagory, a small city in northern Lithuania, R. Elyashiv was raised studying Talmud with his father R. Chaim Chaikl Elyashiv until leaving home to study under the tutelage of R. Gershon Tanchum of Minsk where he became known for his Talmudic expertise. After his marriage to the daughter of R. Dovid Fein the Leshem went on to study at the Telshe yeshiva where his intellect and vast memory earned him the appellation of Telsher illui. While in Telshe the Leshem was introduced to chochmat ha-nistar by his teacher R. Yosef Reissen who then served as the Rav of Telshe. While learning in Telshe, R. Elyashiv became familiar with the fundamental texts of Jewish mysticism, learning the Pardes Rimonim of R. Moshe Cordevero as well as the Vilna Gaon’s commentaries on Sefer Yetzirah, Safra D’Tzniyuta and the Tikkunei Zohar. Only afterwards did the Leshem begin studying the system of the Arizal and it’s commentaries. R. Aryeh Levin who served as R. Elyashiv’s assistant after the latter’s move to Jerusalem includes within the curriculum the texts of R. Moshe Chaim Luzzato as well; however the distinctive relationship between R. Shlomo Elyashiv and the Ramchal’s school of Lurianic mysticism will be discussed below. After leaving Telshe, the Leshem settled in Shavel, Lithuania where he began to write what would become his vast oeuvre known as Leshem Shevo v-Achloma. In 1922, through the help of Rav Avraham Isaac haKohen Kook and Rav Yitzhak haLevi Herzog,[13] R. Shlomo Elyashiv moved to Jerusalem with his family where he eventually passed away on the 27th of Adar in 1926. While never accepting upon himself any form of communal leadership, the Leshem became known as the preeminent scholar of Kabbalah, through his written works, glosses, vast reaching editorial skills and the various rabbinic personalities with whom he studied and taught.[14] [...]

R. Moshe Shapiro: The Popularization of Leshem Shevo v-Achloma

This phenomenon in which the texts of the Leshem undergo the “occasional deletion of a passage so as not to include matters of concealment (nistarot)”[61] for the sake of making them “equal to every searching ben-torah” has taken place primarily within the school of R. Moshe Shapiro and his students. Viewed by many within the Haredi world as the preeminent baal-machshava, R. Shapiro is purported to see in the Leshem- who he describes as “a giant, discordant with the nature of our lowly generation, sent to enlighten our eyes and enable us to grasp a miniscule taste of the depths of torah”[62]- a paradigm of authentic hashkafat ha-torah. In a letter reprinted in Shaarei Leshem[63] at the behest of the Leshem’s grandson R. Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, R. Shapiro explains the rational for publishing a collection of texts taken out of context as follows:

            “Many have been asking and searching, who will give us faithful waters to drink from the well of living water, the seforim of our master (the Leshem) that were given over closed (chatumim), and they are yearning to find an opening, one that does not engage the depth of the sugyot in the Zohar and writings of the Arizal. And it is known that many of the drushim open gates in the knowledge of God, the fundamentals of faith and yearning for redemption that each Jew is commanded to know, and in our generation in which the wicked ones surround us and things are “cheapened in the eyes of men” and anything that stands at the height of the world is cheapened and lowered to the dust, it appears to be a “time to act for God” (ait laasot la-Hashem), to open an opening for the masses to the enlightened writings that cleanse the eyes and heal the spirit, that they may swim in them so that knowledge be spread; and I know personally how wondrous the affect these writings have on those who learn them, and even on those who taste from the edge of their sweetness, their eyes shall be enlightened.”

R. Shapiro’s logic is clear, due to the spiritual dereliction of the generation two difficulties arise in learning Leshem Shevo v-Achloma properly. The first is practical in the sense that many have expressed interest in the philosophical aspects of the Leshem’s system without a prior knowledge of the Kabbalistic subject matter. Secondly, the spiritual climate in which the holy is “cheapened in the eyes of men” demands a paradoxical transgressive act for the sake of upholding the law, an “ait laasot la-Hashem.” By utilizing the rabbinic notion of ait laasot R. Shapiro enables himself to support the simplification of the Leshem’s work while simultaneously maintaining the non-ideality of such an undertaking. R. Shapiro’s ambivalence between the ideal sanctity of Leshem Shevo v-Achloma as a unique contribution to the Lurianic system and the real inability of many within the Haredi yeshiva world to grasp the complex subject matter is relieved through the utilization of ait laasot, a temporary disavowal in which the laws governing the revelation of Kabbalistic texts are held in abeyance. [...]

R. Moshe Schatz: Leshem Shevo v-Achloma as Foundational Text

Within the Hasidic world of contemporary Kabbalah study, Rabbi Yitzchak Meir Morgenstern - rosh yeshiva of Yeshivat Torat Chochom - has consistently incorporated the works of the Leshem into his dynamic synthesis wherein the works of the Arizal, Rashash, Baal Shem tov and Gra are grafted together creating new constellations of thinkers who coalesce in a textual matrix described as “secret of secrets” (razin di-razin)[65]. It is R. Morgenstern’s teacher however, who serves as a significant scholar of Leshem Shevo v-Achloma. R. Moshe Schatz- born and raised in Brooklyn- sits in his cramped study in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Givat Shaul teaching the Leshem’s system to a wide range of students, many of whom have studied the Lurianic system extensively only to reach a point of confusion. In a process akin to Derridian deconstruction, R. Schatz leads his students through a process of deliberate unlearning in which the previously held assumptions regarding the Lurianic system are shed.[66] Once the student has moved beyond the preconceived notions that have compounded their confusion, R. Schatz begins to slowly work from the bottom up, elucidating and clarifying the fundamental ideas that the Kabbalistic system is built upon. For R. Schatz the Lurianic system - as refracted through the teachings of Rashash - is a complex structure in which specific concepts undergo a process of repetition through reconfiguration. Utilizing the Lurianic depiction of Partzufim, the works of the Arizal, Rashash, Baal Shem Tov, and the Vilna Gaon coalesce into a unified whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. Building a gestalt of sod, R. Schatz simultaneously reveals the unity that rests beneath the disparate manifestations of Kabbalah throughout history as he removes the commonly held assumptions of machloket that have marked the interpretive approaches of many scholars.  [...]

R. Meir Triebitz: The Leshem as Authentic Mitnaged

Another current teacher of Leshem Shevo v-Achloma within the Haredi yeshiva world is R. Meir Triebitz who serves as a maggid shiur at Yeshivat Machon Shlomo, a baal-teshuva institute in Jerusalem. R. Triebitz, who also serves as a posek for his community, completed his dissertation in mathematical physics at Princeton University before moving to Jerusalem to teach. Aside from the Talmudic course he teaches, R. Triebitz delivers classes on Leshem Shevo v-Achloma: Hakdamot u-Shearim as well as pertinent source materials from the Leshem’s writings. R. Triebitz’s approach is noteworthy in that he maintains that the Leshem’s system is one in which the Kabbalistic system is purified from any pantheistic and acosmic notions. As an adherent to the Vilna Gaon’s interpretation of Kabbalah, R. Triebitz views the Leshem as the last authentic Mitnagdic thinker, fighting both the Hasidic predilection towards pantheism as well as R. Chaim Volozhiner’s revisionism of the Gra’s radical materialism. In supporting his thesis, R. Triebitz highlights the Leshem’s usage of Maimonides’s Guide as well as his literalist approach to the Lurianic system as signifying his attempt to bridge the widening gap separating mysticism and rationality. Of note is R. Triebitz’s usage of philosophical texts- from Kant to Kripke – in an effort to contextualize the evolution of Kabbalistic theology. [...]

Child abuse? Blocking contact with a child's kidnapper - the only mother she has known 18 years?

AP   A woman in South Africa has been found guilty of kidnapping a newborn nearly two decades ago from a hospital and raising the girl as her own, just a short distance from where her devastated real parents were living.

Zephany Nurse, now 18, was reunited last year with her biological parents, Morne and Celeste Nurse, after the couple's second daughter befriended a girl at school who looked remarkably like her.

After a police investigation and DNA tests, it turned out they were sisters and that the new friend was the Nurse's missing child. [...]

After she was found, the girl chose to continue using the name given to her by the kidnapper.[...]

Celeste Nurse was dozing in her hospital bed when three day-old Zephany was kidnapped by a woman disguised as a nurse back in 1997. [...]

The girl was not in court and is taking final exams to graduate from high school.

The much publicised reunion between the girl and her real parents has been tense, with South African media reporting infighting among the Nurse family.

The girl, struggling to adjust to her newfound family, has pleaded for her privacy, and in a statement appeared to give the woman who raised her the benefit of doubt.

"Don't you think for once that that is my mother? Whether it is true or not is not for you to toy with," she wrote, addressing journalists. "Take all the professionalism away and think how it would be if this was you and your family, and your reputation gets swept through the disgusting gutters of filth."

After her arrest, the court ruled that the kidnapper could not make contact with the girl.

Television images showed the man who raised the girl as his own weeping outside the courtroom. The defendant testified that her husband never knew that the child was not his.

The defendant, 51, had pleaded not guilty to all three charges. During the trial she testified that she adopted the child.

"I didn't know the baby was stolen," the woman testified, according to the African News Agency.

Pekudei; Not All "Baddim" Are Created Equal by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

Guest post by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

Over and over again, we find a difference between the Baddim that were made to carry the Aron and the Mizbeach HaChitzon (in the courtyard), vs. the Baddim that were made for the Shulchon and Mizbeach HaPinimi....

In Parshas Pekudei, the Baddim of the Shulchon and Mizbeach HaPinimi, are NOT EVEN MENTIONED....only the Baddim of the Aron and the Mizbeach HaChitzon are discussed....

In Parshas Terumah and Tetzaveh, the Torah tells us to make the Baddim, and in the case of the Arom and Mizbeach HaChitzon- to insert them, but not by the other two...

In Parshas VaYakheil, when they made the Baddim, we see that difference again...

In Bamidbar, the Baal HaTurrim points out, that by the Aron and Mizbeach HaChitzon it says  "ושמו בדיו" whereas the other two it says "ושמו את בדיו".......

For questions and comments, please email salmahshleima@gmail.com

https://youtu.be/IyAzvdnbDKA

Child Abuse: A case illustrating the difficulties of reporting - what would you have done?

Guest post regarding actual events.

Some of the details have been changed to protect privacy.

The Situation

A male teacher is in charge of a small class of girls at an Orthodox school. The girls are aged seven and eight years old.

The girls have been told not to touch the teacher. With one exception, the girls observe this rule.

One girl has a habit of sticking her arm out when she passes by the teacher and brushing him with her hand. She does this, apparently, unconsciously. When it is brought to her attention, she apologizes.

The words of the apology indicate that the girl touched the teacher accidentally. This would seem to be the case, since it generally happens when she is not facing the teacher directly. Yet the girl's tone tells a different story. She seems to only become aware that she touched the teacher after she touches him.

That is, only when she is notified of what happened does she realize what she did and recognize that she touched the teacher.

The teacher gently rebukes the girl numerous times. He devises games for the class where they practice consciously keeping their distance from the teacher. Still, this girl repeats her behavior of touching the teacher, and sometimes at the most inopportune times, such as in the presence of her patents.

Warning: the following is a graphic description.

Even though the girl touches the teacher without looking at him, invariably her hand strokes his crotch. As stated, this can happen even when there are other people, including her parents, around; and even with a large space to play. The girl drifts over to the teacher and without warning extends her arm.

The girl's reaction is also invariable: "Sorry," without the least hint of having intended to break a rule.

Analysis

(1) The girl likes the teacher. The girl enjoys being near the teacher. Her arm moving towards him is not intentional, and given the height difference, the contact point is just incidental.

(2) Same as (1), with the added understanding that pre-pubescent children can exhibit some overt sexual behavior. This can be intuitive, picked up from observing adults, or some combination.

(3) The girl is being sexually abused. Aa male in her life is engaging her in some activity that involves the girl touching him. The girl is non-verbally communicating this to the teacher when she touches him.

The Question

What should the teacher do? The context is that the only men having regular contact with the girl are her father and her teacher.

An independent investigation will almost certainly center on the father, and may ultimately boomerang on the teacher.

The teacher is under stress because of the constant vigilance required for him to be aware of the location of the girl in the class at all times. Furthermore, he finds himself lashing out at her because she often manages to touch him when his guard is down.

The teacher is reluctant to broach the subject with the parents because if there is ongoing abuse, one or both of them may be involved, or aware of the abuse. For example, the girl's mother may tolerate the father abusing her daughter, since to deal with it could lead to the breakup of the family. The mother does not have a paying job and is dependent on her husband for financial support.

Mendel Epstein Torture for Get Gang - voluntary surrender extension

Case 3:14-cr-00287-FLW Document 433 Filed 03/08/16 Page 1 of 2 PagelD: 8491 UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT 

DISTRICT OF NEW JERSEY

Cr. No. 14-287 (FLW)

ORDER MODIFYING VOLUNTARY SURRENDER DATE

 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, Plaintiff,

v

MENDEL EPSTEIN, JAY GOLDSTEIN, DAVID ARYEH EPSTEIN, and BINYAMIN STIMLER,

Defendants. :

THIS MATTER having been opened to the Court by Defendants Rabbi Mendel Epstein and Rabbi Binyamin Stimler (collectively, Defendants); on separate motions for bail pending appeal; it appearing that the current motions are pending before this Court, and that Defendants' voluntary surrender date is set for March 14, 2015; it appearing that because the Court requires sufficient time to review and rule upon Defendants' motions, it is prudent to modify Defendants' voluntary surrender date until the motions are resolved; accordingly, 

IT IS on this gth day of March, 2016,

ORDERED that the voluntary surrender date, currently set for March 14, 2016, of Rabbi Mendel Epstein and Rabbi Binyamin Stimler is extended until further notice from this Court. 

/s/ Freda L. Wolfson

Freda L. Wolfson

United States District Judge

Child Abuse Allegations Plague the Hasidic Community

Update :Added Interview with Newsweek editor

Update: Comment by anonymous frum insider 

There are as many irritants in the article as in the few comments thus far.  There is a way to deal with it, and much progress has been made.  To deny that is to lie.  There’s much more to go.  However, the Newsweek and other media reports are certainly not useful.  They accomplish nothing more than the fanatic “advocates” did – chilul Hashem, destroying lives, and nothing more.  The basis for these media reports is greatly flawed.  Their primary sources are the several who have escaped the frum community, and are engaged in the mission of creating as much destruction as possible.  These detestable creatures have long abandoned their victimhood, and have enlisted with the enemies of Klal Yisroel.  I have lost my ability to have any rachmonus on them.  If they want to help, then join the campaigns to bring about greater awareness, prevention programs, school and institutional policies that accomplish something.  The media stuff is miyus, as it has no role whatsoever in protecting a single child.

Meanwhile, a simple observation.  We are both familiar with defense mechanisms.  I make observations all the time of new mechanisms that are just that, but masquerade as something else.  The Agudah position, which we know to be fundamentally flawed, is not really a policy at all.  It is a simple effort to cover-up the cover-ups.  They cannot do different, because that would be self-incrimination.

update: added this interview with Newsweek edit



Newsweek    [...] While there is no evidence that child abuse is any more likely to occur in ultra-Orthodox schools than in public or secular institutions, stories like Reizes’s—an alleged abuser sheltered and victims unwilling to talk for fear of losing the only way of life they know—are common in the Hasidic school system. The many former students, advocates, sociologists, social workers and survivors interviewed by Newsweek, along with recordings, documents, public filings and personal emails that Newsweek obtained, place the blame on a confluence of factors: widespread sexual repression, a strong resistance to the secular world, and, most important, a power structure designed to keep people from speaking up about abuse. [...]

In the ultra-Orthodox world, sexuality is simultaneously denied and monitored to the point of obsession. Starting in childhood, boys and girls are separated; the opposite gender remains a mystery until it’s time to marry, usually in an arranged pairing. Boys are taught to avoid looking at girls, while girls are taught that they are a source of sex and transgression, say former members of the Haredi, or ultra-Orthodox Jewish, community.

If children aren’t taught by their parents and teachers about appropriate sexual behavior, they have no way to sense when touching turns into something that is wrong. “You don’t even know what your body is,” says Lynn Davidman, a professor of sociology and religious studies at the University of Kansas who grew up in a religious Jewish family. “And you are not supposed to touch or know, and then all of a sudden you are introduced to forbidden knowledge in a most abusive way.” The abused have no way to make sense of what’s going on, to stop it or to tell anybody about it. [...]

“I think there is little doubt that the extent and seriousness of abuse in society at large was underappreciated for decades until relatively recently,” says Rabbi Avi Shafran, director of public affairs for Agudath Israel of America, an umbrella organization that provides leadership to Haredi communities. “Unfortunately, the Orthodox community was likewise unaware of the degree and severity of the problem in its own midst. That, though, has changed.”[...]

Today, in North American Haredi communities, there is debate over how the mesirah prohibition should be applied. In 2011, the Crown Heights Beis Din (the rabbinical court that handles internal religious disputes) ruled that mesirah “do[es] not apply in cases where there is evidence of abuse” and that “one is forbidden to remain silent in such situations.” And earlier this year, 107 Hasidic rabbis signed a kol koreh, or “public pronouncement,” stating that there is a religious obligation to notify secular law enforcement when it knows of child abuse.

However, “knowing” is a murky term here. In 2012, Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel, executive vice president of Agudath Israel of America, said mesirah meant community members should turn to rabbinical authorities to “ascertain that the suspicion meets a certain threshold of credibility” before reporting child abuse to the authorities. Scroll through the comments section of any of the muckraking websites that track abuses in the Haredi world—Unorthodox-Jew, FailedMessiah.com—and it quickly becomes clear how deferential this community is to religious authority. At the bottom of news coverage of sexual abuse trials are seething comments claiming the reporters are acting above their pay grade. “Stop speaking loshon harah and chillul Hashem ”—evil speech and the desecration of God’s name—“and let the Rabbis sort it out,” they have written.

The problem, though, is that this puts the decision to report on individuals who are usually not qualified to recognize signs of abuse—and who, many say, have a vested interest in keeping secular eyes away. Furthermore, while New York state law says all school officials are required to disclose any child abuse, physical or sexual, they see or hear about to Child Protective Services—religious clergy are not. And when school officials are also religious officials—all yeshiva teachers are rabbis—there are dangerous legal loopholes. [...]

A mother claims her husband has abused their daughter- but has no proof

Reshet TV

מה עושה אישה חרדית שמגלה שבעלה תוקף מינית את בנותיה, כשבקהילה הסגורה שלה לא נהוג לפנות למשטרה? הרבנים בשכונה הירושלמית סוגרים את הדברים בחדרי חדרים, ועל הדרך מאשימים את האישה: "את צריכה לתת לו יותר"

למי אמורה לפנות אישה חרדית כשהיא מגלה שבעלה פוגע מינית בבנותיה? מי אחראי לכך שהבעל ייענש בחומרה על מעשיו? בקהילה החרדית מעדיפים שלא לפנות למשטרה, ולסגור את הפרשיות הרחק מחדרי החקירות ובתי המשפט.

סיפורה של האם הצעירה מתחיל בשכונת מאה שערים בירושלים. לאחר שעזבה את העולם החילוני, חזרה בתשובה והצטרפה לחסידות ברסלב. תוך שלוש פגישות שודכה לבעלה, ובתוך שלוש שנים הפכה לאימא לשלוש בנות.

"הילדה הגדולה הייתה בת 6, היא הייתה ילדה שמחה, פתוחה ומשוחררת. היא הייתה מספרת לי הכול. ופתאום היא התחילה לא לאכול ולהיות חיוורת וסגורה", מספרת האם על הרגע שבו התחילה להרגיש שמשהו אינו כשורה. "היא אמרה לי שהוא הוריד לה את החצאית, נשק לה בפה, נגע לה במקומות. אני חשבתי שזה חלום, לא ידעתי מה לחשוב באותו הרגע".

אישה חרדית בקהילה הסגורה - פונה תחילה אל הרב. הראשון שאליו הגיעה בדרך הייסורים שהיא עומדת לעבור הוא רב הקהילה שלה. "שאלתי את הרב מה הוא מציע לעשות, הוא אמר לי - 'אני חושב שאת צריכה להיות אתו יותר, לתת לו יותר, אולי הוא יירגע ולא ייגע בבנות'". זאת לא תהיה הפעם האחרונה בה היא תשמע שהאשמה מוטלת עלייה.

הרב השני אליו פנתה הוא הרב יונה לייבל. לדברי הרב, במידה ותחליט להתלונן כנגד בעלה הוא עלול להתאבד. במקום לפנות למשטרה, שזאת חובתו על פי החוק, לרב יש תחושות והערכות משלו. "עקב מה שקרה, מה שאת בכית ומה שהוא בכה ומה שהילדים, הוא לא יעשה זאת יותר".

האם פנתה גם לרב ניסים אליהו. כששמע הרב על גילוי העריות ועל הטענות לפדופיליה, אמר: "תתני צ'אנס, אני מאמין שאחרי מה שהיה זה יפחיד אותו. הבנות גם יותר גדולות. כמה זמן עבר, שנתיים שלוש". ומי לדעת הרב אליהו אשם בכל המצב שנקלעה אליו האם ובנותיה? - "בן אדם אוכל בבית. אם הוא לא אוכל מספיק בבית, הוא הולך לאכול במסעדה בחוץ".

[...[

ממשטרת ישראל נמסר בתגובה: "כלל הממצאים שעלו בחקירה סוכמו, נותחו והועברו לפרקליטות לשם קבלת החלטה בעניין. משטרת ישראל מנהלת חקירות רגישות, כדוגמת חקירה זו, במשנה זהירות, במקצועיות ובקפידה".

מהפרקליטות נמסר בתגובה: "התיק נסגר מחוסר ראיות, לאחר שנבחנו החומרים בתיק החקירה. עיקרי חומר החקירה נמסרו למתלוננת לצורך הגשת ערר, אך זה טרם הוגש".

מהרב ברלנד נמסר דרך עורך דינו שרון נהרי: "הרב טוען כי הדברים סולפו ואינם מציגים את התמונה האמיתית. נגיב אם נידרש לעשות כן בפני כל רשות ולא בתקשורת". 

Dutch Jewish teacher arrested in Tel Aviv on Amsterdam sex charges

ynet   Teacher from ultra-Orthodox school left the Netherlands for Israel after 16-year-old students tells parents teacher sexually assaulted him; Israeli courts to now deliberate on his extradition to Holland.

A Dutch Jewish teacher suspected of sexually abusing children has been arrested in Tel Aviv earlier this week, two years after the Netherlands asked for his extradition, the Dutch Telegraaf reported on Thursday.  

The teacher, 28, has been in Israel for three years. He was arrested on Monday and was brought to a remand extension hearing at the Jerusalem District Court the next day.  

According to reports in the Netherlands, the suspect was born to a Reformist family in Amsterdam and became more observant a few years ago. He attended a yeshiva in Jerusalem, while teaching at a private school of languages in central Israel. In 2010, the suspect returned to the Netherlands, where he started working at the Cheider School in Amsterdam - a prestigious ultra-Orthodox institution that includes a kindergarten, a primary school and a high school. 

In 2012, a 16-year-old student told his parents that the teacher sexually assaulted him in a side room. The parents turned to the school but were ignored, so they turned to the media. The school - where 200 children aged 2-18 study - said it "held a clarification conversation with the teacher."

That year, other students at the school, younger than 10, started suffering symptoms of anxiety, and a doctor who examined them raised the suspicion that they were also sexually abused. It was only at that point that a police investigation was launched.
The reports, published in the popular newspaper Telegraaf, embarrassed many in the Jewish community in the Netherlands and led to great public pressure for the school's administration to join the police complaint. [...]

Shabbos; When Is Burning In Gehenom, Good?! by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

Guest Post

The famous Dyybuk- in the times of the Chofetz Chaim- said, she was not protected from her trauma even on Shabbos, because during her lifetime she didn't keep Shabbos....

Indeed, the Chidah in his Sefer Chomas Anuch in the beginning of Parshas Vayakel brings from The Zohar in Parashas Terumah, this same concept- if you didn't keep Shabbos, Shabbos doesn't protect you...

However, the Gemarah in Sanhedrin (65b) brings a story that even a gentile, who certainly never kept Shabbos in his life, is protected from Shabbos...

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https://youtu.be/Ho-RhOHACTA

Vayakhel 76 - The Copper Mirrors and Photos of your Children by Allan Katz

Guest Post Allan Katz

Which task was more difficult - the creation of the world or the building of the mishkan –tabernacle? The Talmud –Ketuvot 5 makes a comparison between them and says that the deeds of the righteous, the building of thae mishkan are greater than the act of creation of the world which was done with one hand ,"my hand established the land "- "אף ידי יסדה ארץ but the building of the tabernacle , was the work of both hands –" "מקדש ה′ כוננו ידיך- your hands have established God's sanctuary .The source of holiness and purity is from Hashem-God , but its manifestation in this world depends of acts of the people and especially righteous ones who themselves are described as the sanctuary of Hashem. The task of building the mishkan and its keilim-utensils was given to Betzalel. It involved more than just producing and manufacturing the utensils. The primary task was to use חכמה ומלכת מחשבת , wisdom, thoughtful design and craft. It meant injecting all the utensils- keilim with holiness and purity – kedushah and ta'harah so that they would be the conduit to channel God's abundance in the form of wisdom, Torah, prosperity, forgiveness and atonement to the people. Betzalel would thus relate to the utensils on the deepest level of understanding and intentions in order to inject them with kedusha - holiness.

With regard to the Kiyor- washbasin –laver , it is written that Betzalel made the copper washbasin and its copper base out of the mirrors of the dedicated women [ha-tzove'ot] who congregated at the entrance of the Communion Tent. (Ex. 38:8). The Midrash commentary gives the background. Moses rejected these copper mirrors because mirrors, although they are important for the husband –wife relationship, they are perceived as objects that promote lust, vanity and self-centeredness. God told Moses to accept them, because they are more precious than anything else because through them a new generation, legions of people was born. The women, by their faith, courage and ingenuity, secured Jewish survival. The Egyptians not only had a policy of infanticide towards the boys, but decided to destroy desire with back-breaking slave labor and interrupt family life by preventing men from returning home and being with their wives. The righteous women used the mirrors to make themselves up and adorn themselves. They then went into the fields to tend to their weary and tired husbands and seduce them using the mirrors. Together they would look at each other in the mirror and the wife would say to the husband ' I am more beautiful than you ' and this would arouse the husband and lead to intimacy.

The women's dedication to their husbands and the future of the nation of Israel , injected kedusha- holiness and sanctity into the mirrors which made them fitting for the kiyor – the washbasin. The water from the kiyor was used by the Priests-Kohanim to sanctify and purify their hands and feet as they entered the Mishkan to do the daily service, a reminder that kedusha depends on a person's intentions, actions, thoughts and motivations. The water from the' kiyor ' was also used in the process to restore marital harmony and trust when a wife was suspected of being unfaithful and misusing her passions.

The Midrash said that the mirrors were not only used to help the woman put on their makeup, but she also wanted her husband to look in the mirror and see how beautiful she was. The question is asked, why didn't the wife simply say to the husband,' look at me '– without using the mirror - , 'I am more beautiful than you'. The answer is that people tend to 'project' their feelings and state of mind onto the people they are interacting with. This is even more so when people are stressed out, over-worked and depressed. They don't see the other person and here ' a wife ' as an independent entity outside of themselves. They see them as extensions of themselves. It takes a photograph or seeing the person in a mirror in order to see the other person as somebody separate from them and see their real beauty, depth and many levels.

As parents and educators we need to regularly look at photos of children. We, especially parents see children as extensions of ourselves or there just to do what they are told, be compliant and don't make trouble. When children are viewed only in terms of meeting our expectations, then any inappropriate behavior is seen as an attempt to avoid tasks, attention seeking or attempting to get something. But if we see kids as separate from ourselves, as independent entities with a neshama and soul, we can start to see the world through their eyes and acknowledge that they too have legitimate concerns, perspectives and needs. We all seek attention, avoid tasks that we don't find appealing or try to get what we want. The difference is that some kids don't have the skills to do that in an appropriate way. When there are unsolved problems or infractions we may try to motivate a kid to behave better using rewards, punishments, consequences or non-verbal rewards like praise. When we do this, we first are only concerned about our unmet expectations of kids and getting them to be compliant. We totally ignore their concerns or any of their unmet needs. But if we use collaborative problem solving we first explore their concerns and help them put them on the table so they feel understood, we then share our concerns and then try to solve the problem by finding a mutually satisfying solution that addresses both concerns.

When it comes to learning, academics or even sports we focus on achievement and kids meeting our goals and expectations. We are not concerned whether the kids enjoy or can relate to what they are learning and doing and whether they find the activity interesting and enjoyable. We are only concerned with success and failure. We need to take heed of the words of Jerome Bruner – those kids should experience success and failure only as information so we can help them focus on what they are doing, connect to what they are doing and not focus on how they are doing. It is only when we see them as separate entities with their own wishes and personalities that we can respect their autonomy and respects their choices.

Sanctity and kedushah means that we relate to people and the world with depth and on a higher level. Just as we try to elevate the material world and inject spirituality with our thoughts, intentions, and motives and how we use the world also trying to benefit others and the community, we need to relate to people and especially our spouses, children and students, not as projections of ourselves but as separate people with souls. We need to connect to children etc on this higher level, and connect to their souls so we can help them to help themselves to elevate themselves and the world around them.