Getting rid of molesters…. with TRUE effort
A story is told about a small church in town, which had a
garden that has become completely overgrown. Years of neglect have turned it
into a veritable jungle of thorns, bushes, and weeds. Among the members of the parish was a man who was quite a
talented and accomplished gardener. The sight of the overgrowth bothered him
week after week, until he finally decided to do something about it. He put on his gardening gloves and began pulling weeks,
removing bushes, tilled the earth, planted grass, transplanted flowers, and
over several days, the garden started to look really lovely.
He worked up to the last minute before services, and was on
his hands and knees in the garden, finishing up, as the priest walked by.
Looking around appreciably, he said “My word, isn’t it
amazing what man could accomplish with the help from Providence!”
The gardener stood up, brushed of his hands, and responded.
“With all due respect, father, you should have seen this place when Providence had this place
to himself!”
Obviously, the gardener was trying to point out that it was
his actions that brought about the beauty before them.
And, just as obviously, the priest was trying to point out that without a God
to cause seeds to germinate, grass to grow, flowers to sprout, and beautiful
colors come forth, all of the work the gardener had done would have also been
for naught.
This is the concept of “Hishtadlus”, loosely translated as
“requisite effort” that is basic to the Jewish faith. Ever since God commanded
the Jews to first travel into the Red Sea
before he split it, the understanding is that God will do “his job” as long as
we do “our job”
This responsibility to do our Hishtadlus carries on to
earning a livelihood, to keeping our bodies fit, and to safekeeping
ourselves……. and our children.
How much Hishtadlus one is required to do is up for debate,
but what is NOT up for debate is that whatever Hishtadlus entails, one is
obligated to do.
If you are continuously failing in what you are trying to accomplish, you must change your game plan, your Hishtadlus.
How do you reconcile “If you fail, try try again” with “It’s
not working, time to try something else”?
If you have a logical reason explaining why what you have
tried did not work, and now it might, then it might pay to continue. If you
have tried everything, and still have not had the success you have been hoping
for, Hishtadlus might very well rule that it is time to figure out a new game
plan that will work and get you the results you desire.
Continuing what you had been doing is not an option,
For decades, some of our children have been living in a
veritable jungle of fear, in an undergrowth of distrust, with the thorns of
molestation thrust upon them through the neglect of the community that should
have protected them.
During that time, the understanding was that the Rabbonim
with “siyata d’shmaya” were “dealing” with the problem.
However,
it was not working. The jungle life in the garden continued to wreak havoc, one
Korban at a time.
Clearly, what was being done was not working. We are now
coming to the realization that logically, going to the Rabbonim with was not true Hishtadlus.
How
could it be Hishtadlus? The Rabbonim with don’t have the resources,
training, equipment, or ability to conduct a criminal investigation.
Upon hearing of the recent guilty plea, I was flummoxed.
Where was the siyata d’shmaya? How could an Adam Gadol, who was so
POSITIVE that the accused was innocent, be so WRONG, in such a SPECTACULAR
fashion? The only explanation I could come up with is that “siyata d’shmaya
comes as PART of Hishtadlus. When a person has a Shaila about a chicken,
his Hishtadlus is to go to a Rav. And the Rav will be given siyata d’shmaya
in his ruling. Since proper Hishtadlus for a molestation victim is to go
to the authorities, “siyata d’shmaya was withheld from the Rav in that
situation who was not doing HIS Hishtadlus in that situation, by referring the
case to people who are properly equipped to investigate the situation,
prosecute the culprit, and assign proper punishment.
Our
Gedolim are Tzaddikim who lead us, guide us, in areas of Halacha, Mussar and
Hashkafa. They need to be looked up to, and follow their dictates, which indeed
DO have tremendous siyata d’shmaya in areas of Psak Halacha.
Conducting
a criminal investigation is not an area in which our Rabonnim have been trained
or properly outfitted for. Not only are they not qualified to conduct the
investigation, they are even less qualified – or even able – to mete out
appropriate punishment.
Clearly, while Halachically one is ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED to perform
proper Hishtadlus, to save the lives of their children, paradoxically there
were many the Rabbonim with “siyata d’shmaya” who were stopping this
very Histadlus from being performed.
Thankfully, though, the tide has turned.
Along came certain gardeners who have worked to start
weeding out the evil from amongst us.
Slowly, beauty is emerging in the absence of this evil.
The people harming our children are being incarcerated. Many
more are put on notice that we will not stand by and let them prey on our
young.
A beautiful garden is growing.
But, make no mistake.
The eradication of this evil is being done by gardeners
performing their Hishtadlus, the parents who are going to the authorities to
protect their children.
None of this beauty, none of our now convicted molesters ending up in jail came about by “Providence” alone. Nor through the work of Rabbonim with “siyata d’shmaya”. If anything, recent court actions show that due to the insistence of Rabbonim with “siyata d’shmaya” molesters have been free to continue to molest, to the point where we now have second generation molesters in our community, who have molested children AFTER the Rabbonim with “siyata d’shmaya” have been informed of their activities. In this particularly embarrassing case, the Rabbonim with “siyata d’shmaya” were absolutely CONVINCED, after “thorough investigation” that the accused was innocent… Until the accused stood up in court and admitted guilt to each and every charge.
Moreover, if the Rabbonim with “siyata d’shmaya” had
their way, Nechemia Weberman would still be giving “therapy” to teenage girls in
a locked office with a bedroom for 12 hours a week, Yosef Kolko will still be a
camp counselor, and Jordan Murray would still be teaching 5 and 6 year olds.
It is only through TRUE Hishtadlus, going to authorities, that
this problem can be dealt with.
It is clear that when people like Rabbi William Handler tell
us that we should leave the issue in the hands of the Rabbonim with “siyata
d’shmaya”, we
MUST stand
up, brush our hands off, and tell him “You should see what a jungle this place
was when the Rabbonim with “siyata d’shmaya” had it to themselves”
