Tuesday, September 6, 2011

One Sperm Donor, 150 Offspring


Cynthia Daily and her partner used a sperm donor to conceive a baby seven years ago, and they hoped that one day their son would get to know some of his half siblings — an extended family of sorts for modern times.

 So Ms. Daily searched a Web-based registry for other children fathered by the same donor and helped to create an online group to track them. Over the years, she watched the number of children in her son’s group grow.

And grow.

Today there are 150 children, all conceived with sperm from one donor, in this group of half siblings, and more are on the way. “It’s wild when we see them all together — they all look alike,” said Ms. Daily, 48, a social worker in the Washington area who sometimes vacations with other families in her son’s group. [...]       

Monday, September 5, 2011

13 reasons why rabbis can't solve the sexual abuse problem without the police

Guest Post from Henoch
A friend of mine who is a Rabbi casually told me that a Doctor had called him to warn him that a pedophile was moving into his city.  The sexual predator had worn out his welcome where he lives and the Rabbonim of his town had demanded that he move.  When I asked him what he is doing about it, he responded that he had no idea what to do about it.  The pedophile was unlikely to daven in his shul, so most of his congregants wouldn’t care.  With great effort and a strong campaign, at best he could accomplish that the person would perhaps choose a different city.  He wasn’t even sure how this would be accomplished and at best would only cause the man to relocate elsewhere.  This Rabbi is a great leader and a person with much integrity, yet he doesn’t see it as a cause that needs to take up his full attention for the next few weeks.  It would also cause much fighting, alarm, and strife for all involved. For the following reasons this small story illustrates why Rabbonim may find it hard to solve this problem.

1)      Rabbonim don’t have the resources and methodology by which this type of information is gathered. Patterns of behavior which characterize abuse can easily be identified by professionals, but can easily be missed by others. They would find it hard to convene a Bais Din to hear from all related parties and examine all evidence.  The testimony of women, children, psychologists, or DNA would be suspect.
2)      A story told by a victim or his family will very rarely trump the assumption of innocence for a neighbor, friend, or even a stranger.
3)      Assuming that the story is believed, there is not necessarily a mandate on a particular Rabbi to solve the problem.
4)      The Rabbi’s livelihood is dependent on the opinion of others. He will not necessarily jeopardize this, for a controversial cause.
5)      The Rabbi may think that he can control the problem by speaking to the perpetrator or by watching him closely. He may also believe that the criminal has done teshuva. A Rabbi lives by the idea that people can and do grow. The fact that statistics show that this is very unlikely will not prevent him from hoping that this particular man repented.
6)      Centuries of Jewish thought and teachings may lead him to the conclusion that Mesira (turning over criminals to the secular sytem of Justice) is rarely an option.
7)      Although prison is an option even under the rubric of Halacha, the parameters of that option and its’ use in a secular system of law is too controversial to consider.
8)      The possibility of Chillul Hashem and the potential destruction of the pedophile’s family often seems to trump the idea of justice to the victim or safety for the community.
9)      The idea that a child who was a victim of sexual abuse suffers ongoing psychological trauma after the event, is a relatively new discovery, and one which is not referenced in classical Halachic sources.
10)   Moving the perpetrator to another city or job is the best outcome that a shul or city can hope for, but is a zero net gain for Klal Yisroel as a whole.
11)   Great improvements have been brought to the Jewish world in the area of avoiding Lashon Hara. Whisper campaigns, rumors, and accusations run contrary to those improvements. Rabbonim are reluctant to create an atmosphere where relating negative stories about others would be favorably received.
12)   Yeshivas and other Torah institutions are created with great sacrifice and heroism. Rabbonim, who are the guardians of such institutions, cannot impartially judge the weight of an accusation, while adequately guarding the survival of these institutions.  This is a classic case of a conflict of interest. Rabbonim understand that when a community leader is accused of crimes such as these, the continued existence of Yeshivos affiliated with that individual are put in jeopardy.  This may be a price that is too high to pay.
13)   When police and secular courts are used, the outcome is usually accepted, whether the accused is found guilty or not guilty.  When cases of this nature are handled by Rabbonim, the perception of the public is often that a crime was covered up, and that the Rabbonim were the cause.

Due to the above points, there are reasonable questions of how Rabbinic authorities can play a positive role in sexual abuse cases. While cases where Rabbis publicly advocate on behalf of sexual abuse victims are rare or perhaps even non-existent, there may be Rabbis who privately provide advice and advocacy which may be quite beneficial to a victim’s family. It may be important to investigate a Rabbi’s position as to whether he advocates for the involvement of police and the secular court system prior to seeking advice or advocacy. A Rabbi who believes that police and secular courts should never be involved may be more likely to fall into the 13 traps outlined above. A Rabbi who believes that police and secular courts should be involved in certain cases may be able to play a more positive role in this difficult process, and may be more independent and less likely to fall prey to the above mentioned problems. However, many Rabbis project this image publicly, but will hardly ever advise going to authorities. This position of pretending to advocate for a victim yet actually covering up incidents has led to much pain and suffering in our communities over the past few decades. Rabbis who advise going straight to police and authorities when victims of sexual abuse approach them probably recognize their own limitations and understand that there is no other way to solve this problem.

Man arrested for sexually assaulting kids in synagogue



A 65-year-old man was arrested Sunday on suspicion of committing indecent acts on children whom he taught Torah to.

The investigation was launched last week, after a father of three filed a complaint with the Rehovot police. The inquiry found that the suspect promised to give the three children, aged 8-10, money if they answered Jewish law questions correctly. When they followed him into the synagogue, he allegedly committed indecent acts on them.

The kids' father said the suspect, who prays at his synagogue, offered his kids to teach them the Torah. [...]

Barry Schwartz: Using our practical wisdom


Post regarding annulment of geirus was removed at request of Writer

The recent post about annulment of geirus has been removed at the request of the writer. Baruch Hashem the issue has been fully resolved after discussion with a number of rabbis who explained to him that a valid conversion can not be annulled and that the cases in Israel that were annulled involved questionable conversions. The writer fully accepted that reality and will continue living as a fully committed and observant Jew. The issue of marriage has also been completely resolved according to the halacha. He should be zocheh to find his zivug soon. On the other hand, he mentioned that he was very upset that his sincere and innocent request for information should elicit so many harsh and negative comments about him and his motivation. [no critical comments will be accepted for this present post nor any regarding the original letter].
I hope to post a comment about the harsh and uncalled for attacks against Elliot Pasik that appeared amongst the comments to the deleted post. The assumption that anyone who has a critical comment or observation is anti-orthodox is unfortunately a reality. It brings to mind the Maharal's statement that only a weak religion is afraid of questions. It is doubly problematic when Elliot Pasik has spent much time and effort to improve the life and safety of the Orthodox community.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Weprin Clarifies His Position on Marriage

5 Towns Jewish Times

In the upcoming election for Anthony Weiner’s seat in the 9th Congressional District, Jewish voters are faced with a dilemma.  Both candidates are excellent choices both for Israel and for the New York City Jewish community, in general.  Mr. David Weprin has been particularly helpful in the past to orthodox institutions. However, there is some alarm that is spreading throughout the community in terms of his past support of specific legislation that undermines Torah values.

Two staff members of the Five Town Jewish Times spoke out these issues with Mr. Weprin directly on Sunday morning.  The editorial staff members, which included Mr. Larry Gordon, determined that Mr. Weprin viewed his statements as merely in the realm of supporting a civil rights issue.  He stated his belief that, in his view, “the status of state marriage is not viewed as a halachic marriage and is, therefore, not substantively different than a civil union.”

He further stated that “Chas veShalom - he would never do anything that would undermine the Torah’s values or halacha. This legislation is strictly a civil rights issue – nothing more, and nothing less.” [....]

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Imam Calls For Release Of Shalit

5 Towns Jewish Times Rabbi Yair Hoffman


We are here with Imam Abdullah Antepli, the Muslim chaplain of Duke University. He is one of the American Islamic leaders who recently wrote a letter to Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal asking him in the name of Islam to release Gilad Shalit. He did so with Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) and a group of “high-profile U.S. Muslims.” Gilad Shalit has been held captive since 2006.

Y.H.: Imam, many Americans were very proud of you for writing and signing the letter to the leader of Hamas regarding Gilad Shalit. Did you have any hesitations about doing so—say, because of possible repercussions from radical Islamists? [...]

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Black Congressman: Tea Party would like Black Americans hanging on a tree

N.J. mandated reporting of bullying: Every conflict is bullying



 Under a new state law in New Jersey, lunch-line bullies in the East Hanover schools can be reported to the police by their classmates this fall through anonymous tips to the Crimestoppers hot line.

   In Elizabeth, children, including kindergartners, will spend six class periods learning, among other things, the difference between telling and tattling.

And at North Hunterdon High School, students will be told that there is no such thing as an innocent bystander when it comes to bullying: if they see it, they have a responsibility to try to stop it.

But while many parents and educators welcome the efforts to curb bullying both on campus and online, some superintendents and school board members across New Jersey say the new law, which takes effect Sept. 1, reaches much too far, and complain that they have been given no additional resources to meet its mandates.

The law, known as the Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights, is considered the toughest legislation against bullying in the nation. Propelled by public outcry over the suicide of a Rutgers University freshman, Tyler Clementi, nearly a year ago, it demands that all public schools adopt comprehensive antibullying policies (there are 18 pages of “required components”), increase staff training and adhere to tight deadlines for reporting episodes.     

Rav Zilberstein: Only rabbis can decide about child abuse

Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein (click link for recording) spoke at the Jerusalem Conference on child abuse and pikuach nefesh - primarily about issues of doctors and pikuach nefesh. There is a brief segment of several minutes - starting at about 34 minutes into the recording - in which he responds to a question about reporting child abuse to the police. He responds very harshly regarding psychologists (despite the fact that he was speaking to an audience of frum mental health workers. He said only rabbis can decide these issues. He mentions the case of a frum yid who is serving 15 years in jail because what he claims are false charges brought against him by a child which a psychologist validated with drawings. He claims that the rabbonim know 100% that the man is innocent while the police were totally dependent on the fantasies of the psychologist. Bottom line he insists only rabbis know what to do with charges of child abuse.

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Yitzchok Zilberstein (Hebrew: יצחק זילברשטיין‎, also spelled Silberstein) (born 1934) is a prominent Orthodox rabbi, posek (Jewish legal authority)[1] and expert in medical ethics.[2] He is the av beis din of the Ramat Elchanan neighborhood of Bnei Brak, the Rosh Kollel of Kollel Bais David in Holon,[3] and the Rav of Mayanei Hayeshua Hospital in Bnei Brak.[4] His opinion is frequently sought and quoted on all matters of halakha for the Israeli Lithuanian yeshiva community.

He married Aliza Shoshana Eliashiv (1936–1999),[5] a daughter of Rabbi Yosef Shalom Eliashiv and granddaughter of Rabbi Aryeh Levin. She assumed the financial burden for running their household and encouraged him to continue studying Torah.[5] They began their married life in Bnei Brak, where Rabbi Zilberstein studied in the kollel attached to his alma mater and received another rabbinic ordination by the leading posek of Bnei Brak, Rabbi Shmuel Wosner. Subsequently, Zilberstein moved his family to Switzerland, where he served as a rosh mesivta and maggid shiur in the Yeshiva of Lucerne[5] for several years (From Wikipedia)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Rav Weiner: Calling Police for abuse cases Jerusalem Conference 2011

Rav Yaakov Weiner  is Dean of the Jerusalem Center for Research: Medicine and Halacha.
(Click on link to hear streaming audio player)

He received his rabbinical training at three distinguished educational institutions: Yeshivat Harav Chaim Berlin in New York, the Chevron Yeshiva in Jerusalem and Mosad Harav Kook in Jerusalem, where he was granted rabbinical authority to judge all halachic matters from HaGaon, Harav Bezalel Zolty (z"l), former Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem.

Rav Weiner served as a pulpit rabbi at a Young Israel congregation in Jerusalem and was a Rosh Yeshiva in Dvar Yerushalayim. He was also Rosh Kollel in Beit Shemesh and Rosh Kollel of the Institute of Science and Halacha. 

 He divides his time between actively pursuing the Center's goals in Israel, and lecturing around the world on a wide variety of topics in science, technology and Jewish bioethics.

He also serves as a scholar in residence in Jewish communities in North and South America and in Europe, and has delivered papers at professional medical conferences both in Israel and abroad.

 Rav Weiner is the author of two books: Ben Yechabed Av (1975) and Ye Shall Surely Heal (1995). He is currently writing the second volume of Ye Shall Surely Heal.

As a tribute to one of the patriarchs of the Weiner family, we have dedicated an obituary page to Mr. Harry Weiner, of blessed memory.

Rav Weiner can be e-mailed directly at y.weiner@j-c-r.org

Teacher strongly criticized for criticizing gay marriage


Jerry Buell is back in the classroom, as he should be. Or, perhaps, shouldn't be. Buell, 54, a devout Baptist, family man and veteran teacher of American history at public Mount Dora High School in central Florida, might as well be the faculty heavy in an episode of Glee: this summer, he set off a national First Amendment fracas by announcing on Facebook that gay marriage is a "cesspool" that makes him vomit and mocks God. Buell's employer, the Lake County School District, removed him from the classroom last week for the first three days of the new school year, pending an investigation of the Facebook comments, then reinstated him on Aug. 25 presumably because it realized his speech in this case was protected. But though he prevailed, his rant may backfire socially by helping to plant homophobia more firmly alongside racism and sexism on the nation's roster of hate speech.

By most accounts, Buell is a good teacher — Mount Dora's 2010–11 teacher of the year, in fact. But while watching a report last month on New York State's recent legalization of gay marriage, he posted a diatribe on his personal Facebook page: "I almost threw up ... Now they showed two guys kissing. If they want to call it a union, go ahead. But don't insult a man and woman's marriage by throwing it in the same cesspool... God will not be mocked. When did this sin become acceptable?"

Lake County Schools found Buell's remarks unacceptable. It launched an investigation into whether he violated the district's ethics code and compromised students' safe and unprejudiced learning environment — and whether as a public schoolteacher he breached separation of church and state by, among other things, writing on his class syllabi, "I teach God's truth. If you believe you may have a problem with that, get your schedule changed, 'cause I ain't changing!" (Buell's lawyer, Harry Mihet of the Orlando-based Liberty Counsel, denies any church-state violation: "It's teaching God's truth," he says, "that the earth is round or that 2 + 2 = 4.")