Personal safety - Talking to our children

Jewish Press by Bracha Goetz

Here are signs to protect our children from danger: In 95% of cases, the molester's not a stranger. He's someone you know and respect.  He's disarming. He is drawn to children.  And he's awfully charming.

 This is a handy little jingle for parents to keep in mind, but even though it's short, my rhyme is not for little children.  In order to adequately prepare our children, however, first we need to be aware of the red flags ourselves.  Then we simply need to schedule an "annual check-up" time to clearly and calmly bring up the subject of personal safety with our children. [...]

5TJT DA Hynes speaks about Rubashkin case

FTJT

In a video interview with the Five Towns Jewish Times, Brooklyn District Attorney, Charles Hynes speaks out about the harsh Rubashkin jail sentence.  He also compared some of the differences between federal cases and local cases, explaining why the local system is in many ways superior. [...] 

Believing abuser will stop?

Of interest is the question of believing that a child molester will stop because he said he did teshuva or that he claims he really is sorry it won't happen again. Apparently most studies assume that molesters are liars or incapable of controlling themselves. Are Jewish molesters different or are promises made to the rabbical authorites more likely to be kept?

Update: I came across an interresting Meiri that insists that the victim needs to forgive him before we can assume he has done teshuva.

Meiri (Berachos 19a): Concerning a talmid chachom one is not allowed to suspected him of sinning even if you saw him sin at night it is prohibited to suspect that he will continue sinning in the day. Rather one is required to assume that he has repented from sinning by the day. When do we make this assumption of repentance? It is only for sins between him and G-d but for those sins against other men you can assume he will continue sinning until it is known that the one he has sinned against has forgiven him

Speaking lashon harah about rabbis - to preserve emunas chachomim

Rabbeinu Yonah(Mishlei 24:28): Don’t be a gratuitous witness of your fellow man – ...This principle is stated in Berachos (19a), If you see a talmid chachom sinning at night, do not suspect of him of sinning anymore by the day because he will surely have repented by then. Since he has the reputation of a person who is fearful of sinning and he is upset and regrets that his lust overcame him. However if the talmid chachom is in fact a wicked person who is mistakenly thought by the people to be righteous – he is not only to be criticized to those who know how to keep quiet – but in fact it is a mitzva to publicize his deeds until they are well known to the public. That is because severe harm occurs when wicked people are honored because he will turn many away from the proper path and denigrate the honor of the righteous and encourages sinning. There is in fact profanation of G‑d’s name by honoring the wicked because some people will be aware of the sins the wicked do and will concluded that there is nothing wrong with sinning and that it doesn’t lower one’s stature (Yoma 86b)…

Abuse: Pope vs Belgium - Problems with self-policing

Time

A little more than a fortnight ago, Pope Benedict XVI asked for "forgiveness from God" regarding the sex-abuse scandals that have rocked the Catholic Church. His words aimed to turn the tide of public opinion back in favor of the church during what is turning out to be the Vatican's annus horribilis — a year punctuated by revelations of horrific abuse by pedophile priests in Ireland, the U.S., Austria and Germany that took place during the papacy of John Paul II and earlier.

But when a Belgian bishops' meeting was raided last week by police investigating renewed claims of child sexual abuse, the Vatican responded with outrage that seemed at odds with the apparent contrition in mid-June. The Pope himself described the searches as "surprising and deplorable" in a letter to the head of the Belgian Church, Archbishop André-Joseph Léonard, on June 27. Vatican Secretary of State Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone went further, saying the Belgian police's detention of bishops for nine hours without access to their cell phones was "serious and unbelievable" and akin to the practices of communist regimes. And after the police drilled into the tombs of two Cardinals, Léonard likened the actions to a schlock crime thriller. "It's worthy of The Da Vinci Code," Léonard said. (See church sex-abuse scandals around the world.) [...]

Abuse: Cyberbullies - the danger of technology

NYTIMES

The girl’s parents, wild with outrage and fear, showed the principal the text messages: a dozen shocking, sexually explicit threats, sent to their daughter the previous Saturday night from the cellphone of a 12-year-old boy. Both children were sixth graders at Benjamin Franklin Middle School in Ridgewood, N.J.

Punish him, insisted the parents. “I said, ‘This occurred out of school, on a weekend,’ ” recalled the principal, Tony Orsini. “We can’t discipline him.” [...]

Abuse: Expressing outrage or supressing response

When Yaakov’s daughter Dinah was raped and abused by their neighbor Shechem – there were two reactions. Yaakov reacted with silence, “And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter; and his sons were with his cattle in the field; and Jacob held his peace until they came.” (Bereishis 34:5). Her brothers, however, reacted with outrage, “And the sons of Yaakov came from the field when they heard it; and the men were grieved, and they were very angry, because Shechem had done an outrageous deed in Israel by raping Jacob’s daughter; something which should not to be done.” (Bereishis 34:7).

Furthermore we see that Yaakov’s sons not only expressed anger but they acted on their outrage and killed Shechem and his clan. Yaakov protested against this revenge by saying, “And Yaakov said to [his sons] Shimon and Levi, You have brought trouble on me to make me odious among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites; and I being few in number, they shall gather together against me, and slay me; and I shall be destroyed, I and my house” (Bereishis 34:30). His sons responded to their father’s protest by simply saying, “ And they said, Should he deal with our sister as with a harlot?” (Bereishis 34:31).

Rav Sternbuch - Reconciling Opposites

Rav Moshe Sternbuch-Opposites

Rav Sternbuch - Korach- Duplicity

Rav Moshe Sternbuch Duplicity-4

Hebrew Charter Schools:Success & danger

New York Times

Every so often, Aalim Moody, 5, and his twin sister, Aalima, break into a kind of secret code, chatting in a language their father does not understand.

Walking along Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn, they make out the lettering on kosher food shops and yeshiva buses, showing off all they learn at the Hebrew Language Academy Charter School in Midwood, where they both attend kindergarten.

Ask Aalim his favorite song and he will happily belt out:

“Eretz Yisrael sheli yaffa v’gam porachat!” — My land of Israel is beautiful and blossoming! — and then he continues in Hebrew:[...]

Robots encourage women to have babies in Japan