Why is it harder to raise kids or teach them in this generation?

 1 Extreme permissiveness - everything is OK

2) Patents and teachers have no time for the individual

3) Self proclaimed experts are incompetent

$4) Social pressure from internet and smartphones

6) Reality and being responsible are no longer important

7) Parents are too controlling

)8) academic success is not important

9) yetzer harah is too strong

10) Psychology is too pervasive

11) Daas Torah gives false sense of security

12 low self esteem  

13 too much self confidence

14) too much wealth

15) children are emotionally needy and demand too much attention

14) too much concern with self caring

15) no different than previous generations

Halloween Comes Early at Georgia Senate Debate as Herschel Walker Flashes ‘Prop’ Badge

 https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/herschel-walker-prop-badge-georgia-senate-debate-1234611922/

Walker’s opponent and incumbent Senator Raphael Warnock poked fun at Walker’s claims — as well as a 2001 report where the former football star threatened a shootout with police — during the debate. On the topic of law enforcement, Warnock quipped, “One thing I have not done – I’ve never pretended to be a police officer.”

As the audience responded to Warnock’s jab and moderator Tina Tyus-Shaw attempted to move on to a different subject, Walker reached into his coat pocket and whipped out a badge of unknown origin.

Questions I - what? vs why? vs silence?

I would like to start a discussion of the nature and validity of questions in the Orthodox world. This is a spin-off of the discussion regarding R' Tropper and R' Slifkin in the comments section. I think it deserves a separate post. Let me start by stating that forty years when I first met Rav Shlomo Freifeld. I asked him some fundamental questions. His response was, "These are good questions, it is important to ask questions. But you should know that probably all of the questions you will ask have already been asked by our sages and discussed. But you need to be patient. We will eventually get to your questions." It is one of the ironies of life that Reb Shlomo never did answer these questions - though we talked for many hours and I spent much time with him. One of the reasons for my sefer Daas Torah has been my own efforts to answer these questions. Reb Shlomo himself had many questions. He would raise questions in discussion or at the Shabbos table - but often there was no answer. He had an extensive library of English books which included philosophy and novels. He even had me take out various philosophy books from the Brooklyn College library for him to read. However he never articulated answers to fundamental questions. He served primarily to validate the enterprise of searching and questioning. Once he approached me for a favor. "I just got a donation of a set of Encyclopedia Judaic on the condition that it be used by the yeshiva. It is full of kefira so I can't let it be used freely. Would you please use it so that I can fulfill the conditions?" He often talked about the freshness of a child's curiosity and the unfortunate stagnation that happens when a person grows up and "knows" the answers A year after his petira, I called up his son-in-law - the present rosh hayeshiva - to ask what Reb Shlomo held regarding asking questions or discussing topics that might cause religious doubt. He responded, "I never discussed these type of hashkofa questions with him. The only one who mights have discussed these type of issues with him was my wife." As far as I know there was no yerusha concerning Reb Shlomo's comfortable open mindedness. There is a very profound statement by one of the most famous heretics - Spinoza. He asked, "What is an answer?" As any parent knows there is a certain age that child ask "why?" to anything and everything. What is an answer? Spinoza said that an answer is simply that which takes away the urge to ask another question! It was not just Rabbi Freifeld and Rav Hutner who had an insatiable curiosity about everything. Soon after the petira of the Lubavitcher Rebbe I was talking with Rav Yaakov Goldberg - the head of the Lubavitch baal teshuva yeshiva Hadar HaTorah - concerning some of these things. He said, "You are too late! All these fundamental questions were of great interest to the Lubavicher Rebbe. There is no one today." Finally let me mention my experience with writing and publishing my sefer Daas Torah. When I first started working on it I consulted a famous rabbi connected with Artscroll. He told me point blank - "you are a danger to klall Yisroel. You are going to cause confusion and doubt by telling people that there are multiple ways of understanding fundamental hashkofa issues." I consulted with Rav Bulman. His response was, "You will never get away with presenting multiple views. The yeshiva world holds that there is one right answer. You are following in the approach of Rav Tzadok and Rav Kook. But I want to buy the first copy. You hear I don't want a present I want to buy the first copy." I talked to Rav Yaakov Weinberg - rosh hayeshiva of Ner Israel in Baltimore. We talked for an hour and he repeatedly said. "We encourage questions from our talmidim in the yeshiva. There is nothing that you can't ask. However regarding writing - you can write about anything except the dispute between the chassidim and the Gra." He was also astonished when I mentioned Rav Dessler's view of eilu v'eilu - that it is simply a manifestation of different perspectives but all competing view of our sages are fundamentally in agreement. "You can't tell me that an intelligent person can think this way! If so words have no meaning." I then went to Rav Eliashiv - he told me simply that there is no problem of raising issues and presenting multiple alternatives - as long as the source material was from mainstream accepted views. He did not see a problem "as long as I did not present sources from the Cairo Geniza." In regards to the issue of confusion - he said simply "let them ask their rebbes and rosh yeshiva." You don't avoid teaching Torah because it raises questions." Rav Solveitchik on the other hand was not an intellectual i.e., he was not an open ended thinker - he was a Brisker. One of his students told me that one winter they were involved in a complex sugya when someone raised a question which was not discussed in any of the commentaries. It greatly upset Rav Solveitchik because "there is no valid question which is not discussed in the meforshim." The students were in the middle of their summer break when they received a call that Rav Soloveitchik wanted them to come to a special shiur. At the shiur he announced that he had found the solution to why no one talked about the question. The question was based on a mistaken girsa. He repeated again, "If it is a valid question you will find it discussed in the meforshim. If it isn't discussed that indicates it is not a valid question." In the next post I will cite some of the fundamental texts dealing with the validity of questions - in particular those that don't have clear definitive answers. One final caution - the issue of asking questions and being open-minded exists in equal measure in the non-Orthodox world - both secular and religious. It would be helpful if you read the classic work "Teaching as a subversive activity." It contrasts the view of secular education as process of socialization versus learning how to think clearly.

Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld

Reb Shlomo Freifeld - remembering his greatness and how he inspired others to be great

Rabbi Mendel Horowitz wrote an amazing article about growing up in Shor Yoshuv. It was just published  in Mishpacha for the 25th Yahrzeit of Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld. However I think it is difficult for someone who wasn't there to properly grasp the significance and the allusions and implication in Mendel Horowitz' rich emotional prose. I am including a few paragraphs (click the link for the full article). http://pillarofmyforever.blogspot.co.il/

To help get a richer glimpse of Reb Shlomo's unique sensitivity and personality I am offering a few stories from my 10 years in Shor Yoshuv. After reading them reread the article.

Rebbe Of My Past, Pillar Of My Forever

By Mendel Horowitz, Mishpacha Magazine, Succos 5776

According to my father, life for me in Shor Yoshuv began on Erev Rosh Hashanah, when still unredeemed, I lay on his shtender throughout Minchah at the coming of 5732. After Yom Tov, my pidyon haben happened in the basement of the “old” building. The deli platters were from a Brooklyn caterer who opened special for the occasion and the lemon meringue pie was my bubby’s who, until her end, spoke regrettably of the bochurim transporting those pastries upside down so the meringue stuck to the foil packaging. Twenty-five years later I would redeem my own son in the dining room of the “new” building, making me an incidental detail in a matter of Trivial Pursuit.

From the modest yeshivah he founded in 1967 and in the brotherhood that from there evolved, Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld "revived the spirits of the lowly and the hearts of those contrite." These words from Isaiah appear on his tombstone and in that way I experienced him in life. As a tower of passion and sincerity, Rabbi Freifeld influenced countless students throughout the 70s and 80s, religious from birth and baalei teshuva alike. Under his leadership, Shor Yoshuv became a haven for idealistic young men who found in him their mentor, model, and cornerstone for living.

My father was among those initially attracted to their rebbe’s vibrant manner, and with my mother, toiled to develop the yeshivah into a community. For as long as I can remember Rabbi Freifeld was our master and Shor Yoshuv was our muse. There was never uncoupling the two. Our teacher’s scheme was not aimed at scholarship nor was it limited to scholars. His surprising coalition of styles met a startling combination of needs. We trusted in our master because he believed in everyone first. In our rebbe we found incentive. In his yeshivah we discovered our worth.

Long before “at risk” was cliche, Rabbi Freifeld won the affection of uninspired youth from ordinary, Orthodox homes with his smile, honesty, common sense, and concern. Never a pioneer of any movement, the New York-born son of immigrant parents attended first to others like him, capturing the attention of unresolved yeshivah students who had nowhere else to go. In his rebbe, my wary father discovered a figure he could trust; and in Shor Yoshuv, a faith he could esteem. If you are an Orthodox Jew in America, you conceivably have experienced effects of Rabbi Freifeld’s magnanimity. In Far Rockaway, Rabbi Freifeld made possible a generation of families living inspired, inventive lives. In the hearts of his talmidim and in the methods of modern educators, my rebbe’s original influence endures.[...]
==================================================================

 ============Some of my personal memories  of Reb Shlomo - DT =============

I never remember him pulling rank as a rosh yeshiva or even as an older person. Nor do I ever remember his criticizing me - though I gave him ample reason. He was always focused on eliciting growth from everyone. Especially from those who felt they had nothing to offer. He never said anything because we deserved it, but rather what we needed to hear to continue our struggle to greatness. He was always smiling


At my first meeting with him - at the suggestion of Rav Bulman - I explained that I had many questions about Yiddishkeit that I had not gotten answers for and had been told that many of my questions were inappropriate to ask He said simply, "All questions are legitimate. The gemora is organized around questions. There is nothing wrong with asking questions. All I ask from you is to be patient about getting answers. I'll try and arrange private time for us to discuss your questions." In fact after 10 years he addressed very few of my questions. Some were dealt with by other rebbeim in the yeshiva. But his major contribution to me was to legitimize my questioning. I eventually wrote a sefer "Daas Torah" that deals with many of the issues that bothered me. Thus he ended up giving me the ability to answer the questions - myself.

update: Reb Shlomo not only had a great sensitivity and skill dealing with others but he also had a strong physical presence and charisma. I hadn't realized how much his physical presence was part of the "message" until I started transcribing his speeches for someone. When compared to my memory of what he said or even a hearing a recording - the paper record just sat there. The electricity and awesome power of his words simply weren't captured by the transcript. He once told me that he had trouble writing his thoughts and wished he could just commanded the pen to write. (This was before voice activated computer transcription programs). But the bottom line is the impact of what he said was strongly dependent on the personal experience of seeing this giant of a man expressing his heart felt words with his entire being.

It was one of the rules of the yeshiva that any stranger who walked in was to be greeted. That this is unusual was revealed by bochurim who left to go to other yeshivos and reported how strange and insensitive their new yeshivos were. One bochur who went to Lakewood reported that someone had come from Australia and went unnoticed in the Beis HaMedrash. He also told the story of another bochur who had an important phone call but didn't have change. He was ignored in the beis hamedrash where everyone was learning with great hasmoda. Suddenly he felt someone link arms with him. It was the mashgiach Rav Wachtfogel. The mashgiach announced to everyone, "your fellow student is in need of change - who can provide it for him."

Once I criticized the way Reb Shlomo dealt with a certain individual. Instead of being offended he said the following immortal words. "I never claimed to be infallible and I make mistakes. But the most important thing that I have done is create a tzibur. Most of what happens here is due to the tzibur - not to me."

Reb Shlomo told me that he was jealous of his devoted talmid - Benjy Brecher - who readily cried  during davening. I was astounded that the rosh yeshiva would reveal to a bochur that he felt he lacked something that someone else had.

When I started Shor Yoshuv I didn't know how to learn gemora. Most of the other guys had come up through the yeshiva system and had no trouble with the gemora. I was once sitting in the beis medrash feeling depressed about my incompetence an difficulty keeping up with the others. As usual he not only picked up that something was wrong - but he came over to try and deal with my issues. When I explained my serious problems, he said. "Is that all that is bothering you? You feel that everyone is far advanced of you and you will never catch up? You are in fact in a superior position to most of the other guys in yeshiva. They have spent years developing a strong hatred for Torah learning. You have a head start because you simply have to learn gemora. They have to first overcome their hatred for it in order to advance."

After Shabbos morning davening we had a kiddush in which he gave insights into the parsha. He once spoke about the gemora in Shabbos which says one should not ask a talmid chachom questions about a gemora that he is not currently studying because he might be embarrassed to admit the he didn't understand it and he would make up an answer. My chavrusa and I had just made a siyum on Shabbos and we both looked at each other when he gave an explanation for what the gemora meant. It clearly went against the intent of the gemora. After the kiddush we went over to him and asked him to explain why he gave an explanation which was clearly not what the gemora said. He looked at us both and said, "What do you expect from someone who hasn't looked at that gemora in 25 years." His unflinching honesty in admitting to his students that he was wrong served the purpose of not only showing his tremendous concern for the truth - even if it caused him embarrassment - but also reinforced the gemora. Most talmidei chachomim would have in fact attempted a rationalization to conceal their error.

There was a student in the yeshiva who had done the unforgivable. It had become public knowledge that he was living his with girl friend. Obviously he was going to kicked out of the yeshiva and we were all sure that he would be given a very harsh lecture from Reb Shlomo. I was sitting in the beis hamedrash when he came in for his meeting for Reb Shlomo. He sat next to me and said, "Well it looks like I am leaving and I am sure Reb Shlmo has some choice words which I deserve - but I really don't care what he says."
He was calm and acted as if he was glad his stay in yeshiva was over. A few minutes later he was called into Reb Shlomo's office and we waited for the yelling and screaming to start. But there were no sounds coming from the closed office. When he finally came out he was white and shaking. "
I asked him what did he say to you?" It must have been incredibly harsh to penetrate his confident sneer. He replied, "Reb Shlomo simply asked me for personal forgiveness - that he wasn't big enough to influence me properly." That was the only thing he had no defense against and it penetrated his defenses like a cruise missile.

I was one of Reb Shlomo's principle drivers - since I had access to a car. I once drove him to Williamsburg to get a new wide rimmed hat which had been custom made for him. When he tried it on he saw that it was not what he had ordered. I was amazed that he didn't directly criticize the man. Instead he said, "I am embarrassed that I have to say that this is not what I ordered."

When one of the supporters of the yeshiva who lived in Washington D.C. was niftar, he asked me and a few other bochurim to drive down with him to see the family who were sitting shiva. The man's children were all below the age of 8. What do you say to young children who have just lost their father?
He sat down with them at a small table. He didn't try to give them words of comfort - they meant nothing to them. What he did do was to talk to them as if he one of them. And he entertained them by making various faces. In short he comforted them on their level - something he was the master at doing. I learned that the mitzva of nichum aveilum is not  to make yourself feel righteous - but rather is to do what is needed to comfort the mourner.

 We were once driving to Brooklyn and he mentioned that according to the gemora in Berachos it is prohibited to mention Torah in the presence of a dead person - because the dead person no longer had the ability to learn Torah. He told me in the name of Rav Hutner, "It is not only for the dead that one should avoid shaming because of their inability to participate. This is a lesson for everyone. For example one should not have a spirited Torah discussion in the company of the ignorant who can not participate. One needs to be sensitive to the feelings of others."

When I moved to Brooklyn after 10 years in Shor Yoshuva, it was quite disconcerting. No one took the initiative to greet me or other newcomers. But perhaps the greatest change was the lack of community. In Flatbush there was no community to belong to. I once mentioned this to Rabbi Shimshon Scherer. His response was, "You have lived in a fantasy world for ten years. You will never find another community like it. Just be glad that you had a chance to be part of it."

When Rav Feivel Cohen shul's had a melave malke in Flatbush. Rav Feivel Cohen was hoping to form a genuine kehila like Shor Yoshuva.  Reb Shlomo was the guest speaker. I'll never forget the words, "As I was driving across the Marine Channel Bridge linking the Rockaways and Flatbush I knew that I was stranger entering a strange land. A land without a sense of community as we have in Shor Yoshuv. Fortunately Reb Feivel is working to correct that problem and with G-d's help he will succeed in building a genuine kehila here in Brooklyn.

 Reb Shlomo was down to earth and had a solid sense of humor. I spent a lot of time with his family, doing errands and well as spending time with his children. Once his 7 year old daughter took a vice grips pliers that I was using to fix something in the house and removed the screw and threw it out on the roof adjacent to their kitchen. I was very upset at losing a valuable tool. Reb Shlomo came in and sized up the problem. How to get the screw that was lying on the roof? Obviously no one was going to climb out the window to retrieve it. He thought a moment and asked his daughters for several pieces of bubble gum which he proceeded to chew. He then stuck the wad on the end of a broom stick and stuck it out the window and retrieved the screw.

At the yeshiva we occasionally had visiting talmidei chachomim give a shiur to the entire yeshiva. On one occasion, the distinguished talmid chachom spoke about Bava Kamma regarding the difference between a tam and muad ox. What was interesting was that the roshei yeshiva constantly interrupted him and disagreed with him. After the shiur a number of us stood around discussing the shiur. We concluded that it couldn't have been correct since the roshei yeshiva disagreed with it - so why was he asked to speak. Reb Shlomo sensed our question and noted, "You are probably wondering why we asked him to speak if we disagree with what he said. What I wanted you to note was not so much the content of the shiur but how he relates to Torah. Most of us have a very formal relationship with Torah. A distance is maintained with proper attitude. However I hope that you noted that for Rav Plontchik there is no distance. He relates to the Torah as if he were in a comfortable bed. Torah is something personal and intimate. I wanted you to experience a talmid chachom who has such a relationship to Torah - even if I disagree with his conclusions."

When I left Shor Yoshuv for Brooklyn, the final meeting I had contained one message. "Doniel don't forget to be normal. Far Rockaway is still normal - only one family has a chandelier." In fact saying that someone was normal was one of his highest praises.

Just before I left America to move to Israel, I drove to Far Rockaway from Brooklyn with my young sons. At that time Reb Shlomo was dying from spinal cancer. He was in constant pain and he was in constant danger from catching a cold or worse because of the medication that suppressed his immune response. Because one of my sons had a cold I left them in the car to run in and get his bracha and run out. He didn't have the energy for more than that.
However things didn't go as expected. He wanted to talk and we did. I realized it wasn't a good idea to leave my young sons alone in the car and so I stood up to say goodbye - explaining the problem.
When he heard that my sons were in the car he insisted that I bring them in - even though he was exposing himself to danger. He not only greeted them but insisted on talking with each one - including asking them to solve mathematical puzzles. Finally he gave them individual berachos and we departed. His literal mesira nefesh for others was astounding.

Shor Yoshuv October 1985 - Reb Shlomo speaks in his Succah

Trump employee tells FBI that Trump directed boxes to be moved at Mar-a-Lago after subpoena served

 https://edition.cnn.com/2022/10/12/politics/trump-employee-fbi-mar-a-lago-boxes/index.html

The Trump employee initially denied handling sensitive documents or boxes at Mar-a-Lago, according to the source. But the FBI developed evidence that prompted investigators to go back to the witness, who revised their story to say Trump had given instructions to move the boxes, the source said.

MAGA Republicans Decry 'Persecution' of Alex Jones After $1B Settlement

 https://www.newsweek.com/maga-republicans-decry-persecution-alex-jones-after-1b-settlement-1751384

Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene posted on Twitter shortly after the final damages were announced by the Connecticut jury, and argued on Jones' behalf, saying that "all [Jones] did was speak words."

Russians desperately search for Jewish roots to flee military conscription

 https://www.thejc.com/news/world/russians-desperately-search-for-jewish-roots-to-flee-military-conscription-5VsoE5csOKy4gwWvAonY42

Tens of thousands of Russians have fled their home country since the outbreak of war in Ukraine, and even more are desperately seeking to flee after Vladimir Putin announced a nationwide military call-up in September.

Many of those seeking to leave have scrambled to find any proof of Jewish roots in their family history to be able to flee to Israel, where the Law of Return allows anyone with at least one Jewish grandparent to obtain Israeli citizenship, as well as people who convert to Judaism.

Why Some U.S. Conservatives Are Finding Common Cause With Russia

 https://www.newsweek.com/why-some-us-conservatives-are-finding-common-cause-russia-1751115

Much of the U.S. right, particularly in Congress, still subscribe to anti-Kremlin positions, but a vocal minority have been taking positions that are either sympathetic towards, or openly supportive of, Vladimir Putin's Russia.

In unaired portions of Tucker Carlson interview, Ye made antisemitic remarks, spoke of ‘fake children’ infiltrating his home

 https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3683507-in-unaired-portions-of-tucker-carlson-interview-ye-made-antisemitic-remarks-spoke-of-fake-children-infiltrating-his-home/

Ye, the artist formerly known as Kanye West, made several antisemitic remarks and spoke of “fake children” infiltrating his home in unaired portions of his recent interview with Fox News host Tucker Carlson.

Ye — who was locked out of his Instagram and Twitter accounts in the last few days over antisemitic comments — advanced several antisemitic conspiracy theories in the unaired portion of the interview obtained by Motherboard.

DOJ's 'Compelling' Response to Trump SCOTUS Appeal Hailed by Legal Experts

 https://www.newsweek.com/dojs-compelling-response-trump-scotus-appeal-hailed-legal-experts-1750959

"DOJ's response opposing the emergency application Trump's legal team filed in the Supreme Court, with a stopover in Justice Clarence Thomas's chambers, is utterly devastating," Tribe tweeted. "It pulverizes all of Trump's arguments and leaves none standing."

Trump lies again!

 https://edition.cnn.com/2022/10/10/politics/fact-check-trump-documents-george-hw-bush-bowling-chinese-clinton/index.html

 All of these Trump claims are false. George H.W. Bush did not take millions of documents to a former bowling alley and Chinese restaurant. Rather, the National Archives and Records Administration took Bush’s presidential documents to this facility prior to the opening of the Bush presidential library in the same city. Trump’s claims about Clinton and George W. Bush are inaccurate in precisely the same way: NARA, not the former presidents themselves, put the documents in temporary storage at NARA-managed facilities at the former car dealership in Arkansas and the warehouse in Texas. And Trump was also wrong that there was “no security” at the facility where the elder Bush’s documents were housed: the facility was heavily secured, according to a news report at the time.

Why Herschel Walker Shouldn’t Have Run

 https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-herschel-walker-shouldnt-have-run-senate-race-midterms-son-wife-family-christian-cindy-grossman-mental-health-gop-11665092390

Explosive. But I think Republican strategists misunderstand the scandal, or miss the heart of it. It isn’t really about abortion or hypocrisy. It is about children born and the father says to the mother: You can raise it by yourself or you can abort it but I won’t help you raise it and act as a father. That is the story, that Walker is accused of abandoning his little kids, and it came from his son, Christian, 23, a conservative activist, who made the furious videos that blew the story up. That is the aspect Christian focused on: “My father . . . had all these random kids across the country, none of whom he raised. . . . Family values people: He has four kids—four different women—wasn’t in the house raising one of them. He was out having sex with other women. . . . You have no idea what me and my mom have survived.”