How to Get Porn Out of Our Yeshivas by Raffi Bilek

 Update with comments of  SnugglyKindness and Ted video

Guest Post  http://www.frumcounselor.com/

http://www.baltimoretherapycenter.com/

The problem hardly needs elaboration anymore. Fewer and fewer people continue to deny that pornography viewing and addiction are extant if not commonplace in even the most traditional and the most insular communities. The reach of the internet knows almost no boundaries.

So far initiatives to arrest this problem have been few and far between. GuardYourEyes.com is, in the words of Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twersky, “the only weapon we have” in the fight against pornography. It is a very robust tool, but it is not enough. Nor do we have any preventative measures in place. One rosh yeshiva I approached with a proposal to speak to the bochurim about the issue responded that “the rebbeim already speak to the boys individually about this issue.” I would wager an awful lot of money that the rebbeim in that yeshiva are not approaching bochurim to discuss with them the dangers of pornography. Perhaps the rosh yeshiva was referring to sporadic shmuessen on the topic of shmirat einayim or similar topics. This is not nearly enough.

Apart from prevention programs, what do we need to preserve our boys (and girls) from the destruction of pornography? As Rabbi Twersky reports, when the “Just Say No to Drugs” campaign was launched in the 80’s, some adolescents responded with a question: “Why? What else is there?” Pornography is just another drug. (Indeed, studies have shown that the effect it has on the brain is comparable to the effects of heroin.) In order to beat pornography, we have to offer our children something better.

Perhaps you think I am going to turn here to laud the value and primacy of Torah. While I do not deny either, I humbly submit that this is not the answer. When we say we need to offer something “better,” we aren’t speaking about “good” in its moral sense. “Better” to a teenager means more interesting, more satisfying, more gratifying. Developing an appreciation for Torah is a lifelong pursuit; we cannot expect of our youngsters to feel an emotional connection to and deep appreciation of it in their adolescent years, much as we don’t expect children to willingly choose healthy alternatives to junk food (even when they may be just as tasty), or fine wines over sugary sodas.

Pornography is indeed interesting, satisfying, and gratifying – but only superficially and temporarily. The urge, once fulfilled, remains so for only a brief time until it rears its ugly head again. Torah, of course, is much deeper and more permanent, but it is a fine wine, and we can’t rely on Torah learning in its pure form to compete with the quick-and-easy stuff for the minds of our youth when they live in a world so deluged with opportunities for instant gratification. Of course, the deeper pleasures in life only come with effort; but there is a ladder to climb in learning to appreciate this truth.

Thus, in order to assist our youth in climbing this ladder, we need to provide them with endeavors in which they can participate that do take effort and do provide a more lasting satisfaction. And let’s be honest: not every bochur is cut out for full-time learning. Not every bochur is even cut out for more than a small quantity of itim k’vuim (and even then, gemara is simply not on the metaphorical or literal table for many). This is not a chiddush to anyone; yet the system has few answers for these bochrim.

Students who do not enjoy learning will not find it an attractive alternative to pornography. True pleasure comes from using the skills and talents with which one has been bestowed by the Creator in productive and meaningful pursuits. Research has found that people are happy when they are using those skills in a forum that challenges them, but that does not present goals that are hopelessly out of reach. And let us reiterate: for many people, those skills do not involve logical reasoning, linguistic deliberations, or any of the other requirements of serious learning. (I am not suggesting we not cultivate those skills in our youth; I am merely proposing that those skills take time to develop, and that while they are developing, they are not terribly effective as weapons against a very well-developed yetzer hara.)

For many people – all kinds of people! – the skills they need to call upon to actualize themselves are far more varied. G-d has created artists in His world, creative writers, actors – people who need to invent new ideas, express them, share them. He has created people who are athletic, who are physically nimble or strong or active and for whom nothing could be more fulfilling than pushing their bodies to the limits, whether it be on a hike, in the gym, or on the court. He has created “people people,” who thrive when engaging with others socially and emotionally, not just academically. All of these kinds of individuals will need pursuits that match their personalities and skill sets. Gemara simply isn’t enough of an answer. When adolescents are in front of a computer screen with free time, considering the options of how to spend it, it will be only a very few who will choose to look up a Ritva rather than browse a site that may be off-limits. But there are decidedly more who might be willing to try out a new illustration program, or look up recipes to try in the kitchen, or write a meaningful letter to soldiers out in the field – and how much more so would this be true if these activities were valued in our community, not merely tolerated (at best). To an artist, creating art feels productive and good. To an engineer, building a model or a robot or a prototype feels productive and good. THIS is the tool that will help us fight the scourge of pornography. THIS is what can ward off the emptiness that invites the filth in with open arms.

None of this is a contradiction to the primacy of Torah. For most of Jewish history, Jews held up the Torah as the central value and guiding light of our nation, yet only a very few were privileged to learn a significant portion of it, let alone all day every day. And yet the Jewish nation has indeed survived the millennia, and the Torah has not been lost from us. It is vital to imbue our youngsters with the wisdom and vitality of Torah; but that does not equate to turning every child into a kollel yungerman. G-d did not design us so. And when we deny our children the outlet that their very nature yearns for, learning will not provide an adequate substitute. The result is the lack of fulfillment that pushes our youngsters to the supremely accessible drug of pornography.

Saving the next generation from the vice that already has many of them – and many among the older generations as well – in its clutches will not be a matter of doing what we are already doing, just better and harder. It will take an approach that is different – but that is after all not so different from what we did for so many centuries before last.
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update

SnugglyKindness . • 2 hours ago

For those of you who deny that Internet pornography is harmful on the brain i would like to point you to the following links. Internet pornography addiction is harder on the brain then hard street drug addictions and this is scientifically proven as you will discover in the following videos and links.

I can't imagine that viewing Internet pornography even casually in a non addicted manner could be healthy or normal. if Internet pornography addiction does have such a strong impact on the brain even stronger then a heroin or crack addiction i can't imagine viewing it several times a week for short periods of time would not be harmful.

Would a person using heroin or cocaine casually once in a while or a few times a week not be harming and making detrimental changes in his brain? (and don't tell me these kind of people don't exist they absolutely do and i know so first hand from people iv known in my past before becoming Torah observant). maybe the damage wouldn't be as bad as someone who uses those drugs all the time but i can't imagine even once in a while would not be harmful (and maybe you would like to prove me wrong).

If the following links i post are true and Internet pornography addiction is more harmful to the brain then drugs including the hard ones then viewing them casually is going to have negative impacts on the brain.

And i don't think this is even important when you consider that its prohibited by the Torah which is whats really relevant here but for those of you who deny the Torah or pick and choose from it the following will be of interest (and probably of interest to Torah Jews for informational purposes and to better explain to Torah youth's the long lasting and permanent damage that can occur to there brains and sexual outlook for the rest of there lives by viewing Internet pornography).

Keep in mind also that all these links and information were compiled and created by a man named Gary B Wilson who is not religious and not even anti-pornography. he typically believes as is common today that people should be able to do what ever they want as long as they don't hurt anybody (live and let live type stuff).

He only does this to show the science behind it in order to help those who have been negatively affected by pornography addiction why they have so many problems with (number one being) erectile dysfunction, lack of motivation, depression, inability to view normal women as attractive and a multitude of other problems related to pornography addiction that you will find quite shocking.

Also to mention that youths are harmed way more then adults by Internet pornography and recovery from it takes a much longer time with many brain changes remaining permanent and irreversible.

So without further ado (and a warning to the extremely sensitive or completely guarded individuals that these videos do contain pornographic terms that you may or will not be familiar with that if you understood them you might not be comfortable. although there is no outright sexually explicit material in these videos that i remember):




Your Brain On Porn: website explaining pornography's negative impact on the brain hosted by Gary B Wilson
http://yourbrainonporn.com/

The Great Porn Experiment (TED Talk):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

Your Brain on Porn 6 part youtube playlist (a detailed scientific explanation on pornography addiction and its impact on the brain):
....

Adolecent Brain meets high speed Internet porn (Internet pornography addiction harms youth's way worse and permanently then it does adults)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
so check out these videos and draw your own conclusions but its impossible to deny the science behind this stuff and if you do well...