NBC News The indictment of Vikings running
back Adrian Peterson for allegedly using a wooden "switch" to punish his
4-year-old son has put a spotlight on corporal punishment. Though on
the downswing in the United States, physical discipline is still common
in homes and schools and spanking, in particular, is widely supported.
Here's a snapshot of the situation:
AT HOME:
Corporal punishment is technically legal in all 50 states. Statutes
vary from state to state but generally say that the physical punishment
must be reasonable or not excessive, although Delaware passed a law in
2012 that said it couldn't cause any injury or pain. Proposed
legislative bans in several states have failed to pass, and courts have
generally upheld parents' right to spank. This summer, New York's second
highest court ruled that it was "reasonable use of force" for a father
to use his open hand to hit an 8-year-old boy who had cursed.
AT SCHOOL: Nineteen states allow corporal punishment in public and private schools. Federal data
collected for 2009, the most recent available, estimates 184,527
students without disabilities were physically disciplined in schools
across the country that year. The numbers reveal boys are more likely
than girls to receive corporal punishment, and it was disproportionately
applied to blacks.[...]
Tanach tells us we should hit our child when necessary if we love him. And Shulchan Aruch paskens l'halacha that corporal punishment should be part of the disciplinary approach with children.
ReplyDeleteIn America, hitting a child with a stick may or may not be considered abuse. It is definitely forgivable, especially if the accused claims to have had good intentions, and especially if he is a member of the NFL. What is completely unforgivable in America is hitting a dog with a stick. That is complete abuse of a defenseless creature. If there were pictures shown of a dog with welt marks from a beating at the hands of Adrian Peterson, there is no question in my mind that he would have been immediately dismissed from the NFL and would be receiving death threats.
ReplyDeleteYes, but the real question we should be asking if punishment helps kids internalize values and what lesson do they learn - which is often completely different from the one we teach. The Ritvah nearly 800 years ago already warned about -lifnei iveir for any kid who had a temperament that would respond defiantly. I know no serious Rov who recommends punishment when there is the alternative of working with a kid instead of doing to the kid , engaging in collaborative problem solving , reflection and helping the kid engage in the moral act of restitution. Rabbi Ya'akov Horowitz says that the abuse of kids is linked to corporal punishment. The Talmud, Tomer De'vorah etc recommend on helping a kid reflect and do Teshuvah . Corporal punishment or any punishment just teaches kids to avoid getting caught , makes them feel sorry forthemselves and distracts the kid and care giver from the real issues.
ReplyDeleteThere is something lost when a child is constantly exposed to rationality. One of the major results is that a child will simply respond "but it isn't fair". - as a reason for not complying. A child also needs to learn to do things - simply because an authority or situation requires it - even though it is unfair.
ReplyDeleteThere will be situations where the parent will simply say – I need you
ReplyDeleteto do it, even if it seems unfair. Now kids who are usually given explanations and
see that parents try to take into account their concerns as well are more
likely to accept and trust parents when they need to insist on things done as
the parents say. If you don't want to use power or get into a power struggle we
can deal with its unfair – by drilling down - can you tell me more and usually
we might get to the real reason that is bothering the kid and find a solution
that takes into account both concerns. When parents concerns are on the table
and are addressed we set limits. Ultimately we want kids to internalize the
rationality and guidelines , that the
reasons for doing things is that it an expression of their midos and what they
want for the family. Our authority is usually enhanced when we focus on trust
and relationship. 'With great power comes great responsibility. Parents can use power or authority – adopt the
authoritarian pose or they can try to adopt an authoritative pose and seek authority from authentic sources
beyond status. The authoritative pose, then, are earned—whether in the
context of authority status or not—and ultimately, the authoritative pose gains
authority from honoring that “great responsibility” that lies in the dignity
and safety of those under that authority.' – P.L Thomas
maybe that is how you are raising a generation of corrupt Judges and rabbis, since they do not have a concept of fairness.
ReplyDelete@Eddie I don't understand your point. We live in times where fairness is expected and yet we have corruption. Why do you think it is the result of lack of fairness.
ReplyDeleteIt is more likely that when a person feels that the system is not being fair to him he can twist it.
My point was in response to the last sentence you wrote "A child also needs to learn to do things - simply because an authority or situation requires it - even though it is unfair."
ReplyDeleteI think a child generally can accept punishment when it is fair. If I stab someone with a pencil, I know it is wrong and i deserve punishment. If I am hit , for example, even though it was somebody else who stabbed the other child with the pencil, that is unfair.
If you inculcate injustice into a system, then i think that is what will come out eventually.
@Eddie - has there been a decrease in corruption as the result of teaching about fairness? My point is the belief that life has to be fair allows rationalizing corrpution
ReplyDeleteMy point was that being able to be obedient to authority with or without fairness (see Makkos 8) is necessary for the function of society.
So you hold of beating kids with sticks?
ReplyDelete