
updated May 3 I am currently trying to understanding the recent transition from interpersonal relations governed by Torah concepts and the current replacement by secular psychological values and processes. Currently one of the most important psychological concepts is that of self-esteem. Despite the fact that there is no such concept in Torah we have here a call by Rav Reuven Feinstein to institute programs and methodology in yeshivos to fight against the "pandemic of low self-esteem" in our yeshivos. Furthermore he indicates that this secular attribute of self-esteem is critical for spirituality and serving G-d! This widespread and uncritical acceptance in our community of the importance of psychology - not only to be a healthy person but to develop sprituality - is in strong contrast with Rav Dessler (Vol 3 page 360). It is important to note that there is actually no scientific evidence to support the importance and centrality that self-esteem has in education, parenting and therapy. Why have rabbis accepted its importance? The following is a haskoma that Rav Feinstein wrote for a book - on building this psychological characteristic of self-esteem - written by a rabbi for the frum world. I have previously posted this Yeshiva Education and low self-esteem where I note that the problem of low self-esteem is uniquely a problem in yeshivos that follow the Lithuanian approach - but not in the Chassidic or Sefardic yeshivos. This is apparrently related to the emphasis of elitism described by Rav Dessler. See Rav Dessler - producing gedolim at expense of others. See Self-esteem is destructive
see video- Rabbi Twerski describe his struggles with low self-esteem
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See "Bringing out the Best"
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Rav Reuven Feinstein (Haskoma to Rabbi Roll’s Bringing out the Best on self-esteem 2008): In a generation bereft of spiritual guidance, following a path dictated by societal values and goals, it is clear that beyond the simple impairment of Torah Ethics and values, is the destruction of Jewish self-esteem. In yeshivos today there is literally a pandemic of low self-esteem. An outcome of this most horrible condition, is that once a person has achieved a state where self-worth and self-value are diminished, that person is literally open to all foreign pressures both within and without. Once those pressures are given free reign, the outcome is without exception, negative. Building, nurturing, and maintaining a healthy, positive and balanced self-esteem is critical to the development of any child. Instilling Torah Values side by side with a healthy self-esteem is not only fundamental to a solid foundation of Torah and mitzvos, it is critical for one wishing to grow and develop in their relationship with Hashem. Rabbi Roll has undertaken a most worthy project in addressing the deficit of self-esteem so prevalent within our communities, yeshivos and schools. The Alter of Slabodka’s work Ohr HaTzafun explains the Torah’s definition and obligation of self-esteem in this world. Rabbi Roll has expounded upon these concepts and presented them for consideration. There is no greater achievement in this world that to inspire, teach, or motivate another....
Rabbi Dr. Twerski's (Forward to Rabbi Roll’s Bringing out the Best on self-esteem 2008)to the same book: [...] We are fortunate that we have had great Torah scholars who were able to do so and extracted the gems of wisdom from it. Among them is the famous ethicist, Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel, better known as the Alter of Slobodka. A healthy self-esteem is essential for optimum function and for achieving one’s mission and goal in life. Unfortunately, there are many things that militate against the development of a healthy self-esteem, some of which I described in my book Angels Don’t Leave Footprints. In his sefer, Ohr HaTzafun, the Alter of Slobodka draws upon the Torah narrative to show us how the Torah emphasizes gadlus ha’adam, man’s potential for greatness. Just as the Alter derived these concepts from the Torah and made them available to us, Rabbi Yisroel Roll expands upon them and applies them to a person’s self-concept, with instructions on how to create a healthy self-image and implement these lesssons in our lives. Self-esteem is contagious. Children may get it from their parents, students from their teachers, and everyone from their friends. It is important that we become aware of the components of self-esteem and the factors that jeopardize our self-esteem. Rabbi Roll has utilized the teachings of the Alter and delivered them to us in a consumer-friendly fashion, with practical strategies to develop and enhance positive attitudes and encourage a family atmosphere of healthy self-esteem. The pursuit of happiness is universal, and if there is any one thing that is an obstacle to achieving happiness, it is the lack of self-esteem. By facilitating the development of self-esteem, Rabbi Roll has made an important contribution to enhancing family life and shalom bayis.
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In contrast we find acknowledgments that Mussar concepts are not those of Psychology
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Dr. Meir Levin (Beyond Psychology in Jewish Action 2003): Psychology and Musar Are Not the Same - Because of the lack of appreciation of the uniqueness of musar, some have recently begun misrepresenting it as a kind of psychological teaching. The bastardization of musar takes various forms. A number of self-help volumes targeting the Orthodox community have recently been published. While some of the authors of these books explicitly aim at the legitimate synthesis of psychological and musar approaches or at restating musar principles in the language of psychology, others use musar to Judaize psychological teachings. One must not minimize the beneficial effects that the spread of psychological insights can have in our communities. And those who do this work are well intentioned. In fact, practitioners of musar would do well to pay at least some attention to advances in behavioral sciences. Yet, psychology is not musar and musar is not psychology. The conflating of the two detracts from each one.
See Rabbi Ephraim Becker - why equating gadlus haAdam and self-esteem is problematic
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Update:We also find acknowledgment that self-esteem was not part of classic mussar. In fact self-esteem was discovered by Rabbi Twerski as the result of his own personal psychological-spiritual crisis as he describes fully on a video.
Andrew Heinze (Americanization of Mussar: Abraham Twerski’s 12 Steps, Judaism Fall 1999): Even though the emphasis on proper self-esteem seems more congruent with American optimism than with Jewish irony, Twerski speculates on the traditional sources of his orientation.
“My clinical emphasis on the importance of attaining a positive self-concept and avoiding self-flagellation may have had its origin in an anecdote about the Chafetz Chayim (Rabbi Israel Meir HaCohen) which Father repeated many times. One time the Chafetz Chayim was riding home to Radin and had the driver stop to pick up a man walking along the road. Along the way, the man mentioned he was journeying to visit the Chafetz Chayim, to which the Chafetz Chayim replied that. he
didn't see why the man was going to such effort because the Chafetz
Chayim wasn't so special The man then slapped the Chafetz Chayim in the
face. Later in Radin the man met the Chafetz Chaimand and
immediately bowed down, asking for forgiveness. The Chafetz Chaim said
there is no need for this, as the man was defending him. "But I did
learn something new trom this experience I have always pointed out how
wrong it is to belittle others. Now, I know it is also wrong to belittle
oneself.” [Twerski Generation to Generation pp 90-91]
The
lesson of the Chofetz Chaim notwithstanding, Twerski knows that his
emphasis on self-acceptance departs from the mainstream of mussar. In
trying to fathom why this should be so, he speculates that perhaps in
earlier generations the problem of low self-esteem was less urgent.
After Darwin and Freud, however, humanity faced a crisis in the form of
psychological determinism and the denial of special creation. These
theories, Twerski concludes, had an effect on the self-esteem "of even
the Torah-true Jew." [Twerski I am I page 40].
So,
in contrast to the darker and more stoic sensibility of mussar classics
like Mesillat Yesharim, Abraham Twerski's postwar American therapeutic
brand includes a softer touch and more empathetic disposition. Using the
confessional format as a way of establishing emotional rapport with his
readers, Twerski openly describes his own confrontation with unpleasant
inner impulses and his all-too-human deduction that he must be an
unworthy person to harbor such feelings. In grappling with this crisis
of self-esteem, Twerski ultimately found an answer in the Talmud (B.
Shabbat 89a) which explained that people have been given the mitzvot
precisely because they have been endowed with animal impulses. "The
discovery of animalistic traits within myself," he explains to his
readers, "was no reason for me to consider myself to be a 'bad' person."