Influence of non-Jewish maids and teachers on our children

Jersey Girl wrote "New Argentine Orthodox Jewish leader denies favori...":

[...]

A website for Christians looking for opportunities to evangelize Jews recommends South American Jews as prime targets for conversion to Christianity because:

"In South America, Jewish executives have been extremely successful. However, the more successful the Jewish executive in South America becomes, the greater tendency he may have to be assimilated into the Christian European society."

Perhaps this is true due to the tendency for wealthier people to hire servants to work in their homes. Chazal admonished us to be careful about the laws of Bishul Akum because transgressing these leads to intermarriage.

Shulchan Aruch 165 says that we should not let our children be taught by non-Jewish teachers to prevent our children being affected & influenced by them, and from being steered away from Torah ch"v.

Some try to justify the practice of hiring Christian teachers in yeshivas by quoting the Rama that Christians are not Idolators for this halacha, (it has been said that the Rama was forced to say this because he lived in a Christian society and did not want to upset the balance there).

How much more so are children influenced when their primary caregivers (maids) from birth are Christians?

I was sitting in a pizza shop in Boro Park a few years back and heard a three year old boy with peyos to his chest singing a perfect rendition of "Jesus es la Luz del Mundo" from John 8:1-30).

I went over to the little boy who was sitting with his mother and older siblings and conversed with him in Spanish. The mother was surprised that he spoke so animatedly with me because she said that at home he barely speaks(in Yiddish).

I asked her if she knew the song he was singing and she answered that "it was a lullaby the maid sings to him". I explained to her what he was singing.

I have repeated similar incidents many times over the years. When I meet frum children who I know have been cared for by maids, I converse with them in Spanish (in front of and with the permission of their parents). More often than not, when the young child is spoken to in Spanish, he will repeat parts of the Catechism etc.

I used to expect that frum parents would be horrified by this, but I have learned over the years that most families feel their children are immune to these influences in their homes because the children receive a yeshiva education.

In the face of rising numbers of frum kids going OTD, perhaps it is time to rethink the issue of Christian maids in our homes and the hiring of Christian secular studies teachers in yeshivas.

Naomi Ragen - A Modest Proposal [for the conversion crisis]

What follows are comments which I assume were sent by Naomi Ragen. I personally view them as a gross misunderstanding of the issue - but I do acknowledge that there are many who agree with her views. In the interest of civil dialogue with a sincere person who has a significant impact on society I am publishing her comments - even though I personally find them offensive. Improvement in the present situation does require greater mutual understanding than exists at present. Please note that since this is a moderated forum, I will reject all comments which I feel do not promote dialogue.

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A Modest Proposal

By Naomi Ragen

What began as a routine divorce between a Danish-born convert and her Israeli husband now threatens to tear apart the country, opening deep wounds and revealing the ugly face of the haredi judges who rule Israel's Rabbinical Court system.

This all began during an uncontested divorce in Ashdod. Rabbi Avraham Attia, a member of the Ashdod Rabbinical Court, asked the woman a question or two about her religious observance (which was none of his business, by the way). Apparently, he didn't like her answer, or maybe he didn't like the way she was dressed. In any case, on February 22, 2007- ignoring the reason she had come to court in the first place- he ruled that her conversion was invalid! Since she was not Jewish, she was not really married to her husband and therefore did not need a divorce.

By overturning this woman's conversion, which had taken place in the special conversion court set up in 1995 to help convert many Russian soldiers and other immigrants who wanted to be Jewish, but found the Rabbinical Courts unwelcoming, Attia, and his haredi counterparts, were calling into question the validity of thousands of conversions that have taken place there, and insulting its head, Rabbi Haim Druckman, the spiritual leader of religious Zionism in Israel.

On April 22, 2007, the couple appealed the lower court decision to the Higher Rabbinical Court, arguing that the Ashdod court had exceeded its authority and violated religious law, disqualifying Druckman's court without giving him a chance to defend himself.

The Higher Court ignored these issues. Instead, it chose to deal only with the question of whether the woman was observant. Granting the divorce, the court also ruled that the Jewishness of the woman and her children was in doubt and needed to be re-examined, and that in the meantime the family should be added to the list of people who are forbidden to marry. Outrageously, they ruled that all Druckman's conversion decisions since 1999 should be canceled, and that marriage registrars not register a convert who does not look observant from his or her external appearance.

This unbelievable decision was not only a slap in the face to religious Zionism, but openly violated the severe Torah prohibition of oppressing the convert and causing them pain, i.e. Shemot 23:9 - "Do not oppress a convert; you know the feelings of a stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt."

Ruth (not her real name) is on my mailing list. She is a convert. This decision has broken her heart. She writes: "At what point will my children and I no longer have to worry that someone will unilaterally and arbitrarily remove the cloak of Torah and Jewish identity out of our self-definition? How many years - 30, 50, 100 - never?

Does this mean that if I ever speak a drop of lashon hara, or some of my hair peeks out from under my tichel, or my elbows become uncovered, or I wear my sandals without socks - that I must reckon with someone's claims that this is sufficient evidence to disclaim my Jewish soul? If the Rabbis today reject numerous sincere converts and needlessly oppress them, causing them untold pain, is this not a much more terrible sin than a convert who may not keep all her hair covered? We do not care to be involved in internal conflicts and back biting. We call upon all G-d fearing Jews to speak with one voice in our defense. We ask all Jews to not become embroiled and ensnared in this evil which will split the Jewish nation if not reined in now. We ask that you stand up for us and call our leaders to account."

Susan Weiss, an attorney for the Center for Justice for Women, who represents the Danish convert, has taken this case to Israel's Supreme Court. Her petition is aimed at Avraham Attia, Dayanim Avraham Sherman, Hagai Eiserer and Avraham Scheinfeld of the Higher Rabbinical Court. According to Weiss, the case highlights many of the faults of the rabbinical courts. "They have no concept of due process or fairness, and they display no sensitivity to those who come before them," she told Dan Izenburg of the Jerusalem Post.

I have a modest proposal. Since all the dayanim involved here have openly violated an oft stated Torah prohibition against"oppressing the convert," and have spoken slanderously against a fellow Rabbi (another strict prohibition), they can hardly be called G-d fearing or religious. In light of their behavior, I think we should retroactively take away their rabbinical ordination, and nullify all the decisions in which they've been involved. They should certainly be thrown out of their posts as judges.

Naomi

Acid attack on 14year old girl in Beitar Illit - not done by Modesty Patrol

IHC Follow-up

Subsequent to the report concerning the 14 year old girl from the town of Beitar Illit in Israel who had acid thrown on her, the IHC checked out the story with the Beitar Illit authorities to clarify the facts. A 14-year-old girl was in fact burned by acid being thrown on her. However the police have not named a suspect. According to Moshe Friedman, Media Advisor for Beitar Illit, this was apparently a teenage brawl or attack, where youngsters took the law into their own hands. The ‘modesty patrol’ does not do things this way; the Rabbis would never condone such actions. There are fringe groups in every city and Beitar Illit is no exception. The municipality attempts to work with these youngsters in various settings and 90% of them are actively participating in various programs. The municipality assists them in a professional capacity, both culturally, socially and educationally. The city is not ‘partially religious and partially secular’ as reported, but mostly religious, with quite a few ‘newly returned-to-Judaism’ families whose children are not ‘there’ yet and hence the trouble makers. 75% of these children are dealt with in specific frameworks. Approximately 100 boys and girls do not participate in these specialized settings.

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Source: Israel Hasbara Committee, www.infoisrael.net.

Published 11 June 2008.

Permission is granted to use this material on condition the Israel
Hasbara Committee is properly credited and that it is not for commercial
purposes.

Religious Zionist MK warns conference RZ has become cult

Kadima MK warns Religious Zionism has become 'cult' [YNET]

Otniel Schneller speaks at Religious Zionism conference on education, economy society, says sector has lost its way and is demonstrating cult-like characteristics. 'Religious Zionism cannot stay closed up within itself, it will suffocate,' he says

by Kobi Nahshoni

"Religious Zionism has lost its true substance and has become a cult," said MK Otniel Schneller (Kadima) Wednesday at the Religious Zionism conference on education, the economy and society.

Dozens of rabbis, educators and public figures took part in the conference, which marked 60 years of Religious Zionism. The conference held various panels on subjects such as the breakdown of the educational system, the conversions crisis, the growing use of internet services among the religious sector, military prep-schools and the challenges the religious sector may face in view of the coming elections.

Speaking at one of the conference's panels, Schneller, a religions Jew, slammed the religious and political leadership of the national-religious public, saying "I grow up in an environment which perceived the rabbi as the 'whole'. The leaders of Religious Zionism have taken this whole and pulled it apart, supporting only one of its parts.

"The fight for the Land of Israel is important, but hailing it as the sole theme makes Religious Zionism a cult. I know many of you will resent this definition, but this wasn't the way taught by the Religious Zionism I grew up on."

Schneller went on to criticize the Religious Zionism rabbis' involvement in politics, saying that every decision religious politicians want to make must be clear by the rabbis first. "We've become nothing but a small group of kippah wearers," he said.

The lawmaker went on to say he does not like to use the term "Religious Zionism" as the title of his public sector, seeing how "it is a leaden term which constricts instead of expands."

[...]

New Argentine Orthodox Jewish leader denies favoring the Orthodox

<sub>Haaretz called the following

By The Associated Press [YNET also has article]</sub>

The first Orthodox man elected to head Argentina's largest Jewish organization took office Thursday amid an angry debate over religious and cultural identity.

Guillermo Borger tried to dispel fears that he would favor Orthodox Jews and their beliefs during his three-year tenure as president of the 22,000-member Argentine Israeli Mutual Association, known as AMIA.

"AMIA is, and will be, the representative of all Jews, without exclusion and with a spirit of dialogue," Borger said in a speech Thursday night.

Borger is the group's first Orthodox president in its 114-year history. On Saturday, Buenos Aires' leading newspaper Clarin ignited a controversy when it quoted Borger as saying that "genuine Jews are those who lead a life based on everything that is dictated in the Torah, our sacred book."

"It's a paradox that people call themselves Jews if they don't practice the religion," Borger added, according to the newspaper.

Borger, a 59-year-old businessman, denied having made the remarks in a
communique he sent to the nation's Jewish community.

"Clarin stands by its story. What we published is what he said," Clarin editor-in-chief Julio Blank told The Associated Press.

Argentina's 250,000-person Jewish community was divided Thursday between
Borger's backers and those who worry his alleged comments will divide the
AMIA.

"We respect Orthodox Jews' way of life and we want them to respect us too," said Agustin Ulanovsky, a 22-year-old law student who joined about 200 people protesting Borger's statements Thursday at his inauguration.

"We are all Jews!" they shouted, booing at the mention of Borger's name and drowning out remarks during the opening ceremony, which was televised on a large screen to accommodate an overflow crowd.[,,,]

A majority of Argentine Jews follow Conservative and Reform streams of the faith. [...]

Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita - Guidelines for calling the Police VI - the stigma of being molested

While the focus of my previous postings on this subject have been the legitimacy of calling the police - there is in fact a bigger problem. It is not the concealment and denial of the rabbis and community. It is rather the concealment and denial of the parents of the abused children.

People have greater fear of the stigma of their children being labeled as molested - then of the molesting itself.

Someone just told me of the case of a well respected member of the community who has molested more then 10 of his neighbors kids. The police were called in - but not a single family is willing to press charges! They don't want their kids being labeled as abused because it will be a problem for shidduchim - not only for the molested kids - but the rest of his/her family.

The local rabbis have dealt with the situation by assigning him a mashgiach or supervisor. According to a psychologist I consulted it is not unusual for families of molested kids to refuse to press charges. Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz provided a link to ABC news Nightline article which noted that in a case in which Jewish and non-Jewish kids had been abused - not a single Jewish parent had pressed charges but only the non-Jewish ones.

Would you want your son to marry a girl who had been molested or raped? Would you want your daughter to marry a young man who was continually abused from the time he was 8 years old? If the answer is no - then the molested child will be hurt again and again.

Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita - Guidelines for calling the Police V - Similar views

Rav Hershel Schacter's views on calling the police seem to be the same as those of Rav Moshe Sternbuch.
==============

Even if one is guilty of a crime and deserves a punishment according to the laws of the land, but due to anti-semitic attitudes he will probably suffer more than if he were a non-Jew; or, the (state) prison conditions are such that he will suffer at the hands of the other inmates (or at the hands of the guards) in a manner that is not proscribed by law, then turning the offender in would constitute mesirah, since his added suffering will be shelo kadin. However, mesirah is permitted in situations where one is a public menace (see Shach to Choshen Mishpat 388, 59), or if one is physically or psychologically harming another individual (for example, in instances of sexual abuse of children, students, campers etc., or spousal abuse) (see Shach to Choshen Mishpat ibid, 45).

The Jewish community does not have the ability to investigate these types of cases. Wherever there are raglayim ladavar that there seems to be a problem, the proper government agencies should be contacted to investigate.

Just as in other areas of halachah, one should consult a competent moreh horaah when faced with such a shayla. Just because one is knowledgeable in Yoreh Deah vol. I or one delivers a good pilpul shiur on sugyos in Nashim or Nezikin, it does not necessarily follow that that individual will be qualified to pasken on hilchos mesirah – lehakel or lehachmir.

Rabbi Yosef Blau wrote:

Virtually all poskim agree that if there is danger to future victims then there is no halakhic issue of mesira, but practically the taboo of mesira remains. Victims are discouraged from coming forward on other grounds as well; it will potential hurt shiddukhim , not only for the victim for members of his family as well. Compassion is expressed for the reputations of members of the abuser's family as well. The probability that family members may have suffered abuse themselves and continue to suffer from being in ongoing contact with the abuser, is not understood.

Taking the accusation to a Beis Din, unfortunately, is rarely effective. Few rabbis have any training in recognizing abuse and rabbinical courts have no investigative arm. Some abusers are charismatic leaders and have followers who will say whatever they ask them to say. Perjury to a Beis Din is not punished and in many cases the witness, in support of his mentor, has no difficulty with distorting what occurred. The cultic element in the guru's leadership is hard for us acknowledge. A rabbi promoting Judaism is seen as incapable of being a cult leader.

Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz wrote:

I cannot understand why members of our community are not willing to report the criminals who are selling drugs to our kids directly to the police. This is, in my opinion, a misplaced application of the concept of mesirah. Ten years ago, I asked our leading gedolim if I should pass along information to the police regarding drug pushers. I got a unanimous psak that drug dealers have the full status of a rodef (one who poses life-threatening danger to others), and that I have not only the right, but also the obligation to do everything in my power to have them arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. In my opinion, there is no substantive difference between a drug pusher and a child molester. Let the system work and let’s finally start protecting our children before there are any more shattered lives and suicides.

I think it is a terribly sad statement that an individual who sold non-kosher food in my hometown of Monsey ran for his life the moment the story broke and was not seen since, while a fiend who molested both Jewish and non-Jewish children in Boro Park is living comfortably in Jerusalem while evading extradition. I am most certainly not promoting or condoning vigilante violence. But it would be a positive step forward when accused child molesters in our community need to ask for police protection for fear of being harmed by righteously indignant people.

Incredibly, in that case, only the non-Jewish parents pressed charges. Here is text from a Nightline article on the subject: “The only victims that cooperated with the investigation were Italian. They were neighborhood boys who trusted the rabbi because he bought them gifts like bicycles. Not a single Orthodox Jewish boy or their parents would talk to the police. The statements of four Italian boys, aged 11 through 16, were the basis for the indictment against Avrohom Mondrowitz. He was facing eight counts of sexual abuse in the first degree, endangering the welfare of a child, and five counts of sodomy in the first degree.”

I ask, “Are Jewish children less sacred and worthy of protection than are non-Jewish children?”

Rabbi Michael J. Broyde has an excellent discussion of the issue of mesira in JLaw. In his summary he states

1. A Jew regularly assaults people. May one inform on him to the police? This case is straightforward. All agree that such a person must be informed upon, either because informing is permitted generally or because a violent person should be informed upon.¹⁰¹ [ Shach, Choshen Mishpat 388:20, and Pitchai Choshen Volume 5, Chapter 4, section 6. ] Thus, it is clear, that one must report allegations of child abuse (sexual or physical) when one is aware of it, (even if this means that the child might be places in a Gentile foster home).¹⁰²

[102. Abraham Sofer Abraham, Nishmat Avraham Volume 4, pages 307-11, quotes responsa from Rabbis Auerbach, Elyashiv and Waldenberg in agreement on this point, that one must report cases of child abuse. No alternative view is quoted in this enclyopedic work. Rabbi Abraham writes:

A child or infant who is brought to a hospital with symptoms of being a battered child... it is prohibited, after an investigation to return him to his home as they will continue to beat him until he might die. Because of the real danger, it is obligatory for the doctor to inform the courts, and with an order from the court, place the child with a foster parent or agency. There is no problem of informing since we are dealing with danger to life and the parents are the pursuers. This is permitted even if they will place the child, due to no choice, with a family or agency that is secular. It is incumbent upon the Jewish court to do everything in its power to insure that the child is placed with an observant family or agency. Particularly in the diaspora it is important that the Jewish court work to insure that the child not be placed with a Gentile family or agency. Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach agreed with all of the above.

Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv recounted to me that it is permitted for the doctor to inform the authorities even if it is possible that the child will be placed with a family or agency that is not Jewish ....

Rabbi Waldenberg wrote "if there is a real risk that the parents will continue to hit the child .... it is obligatory for the doctor to report the matter to the police..." Sexual abuse (of either boys and girls) is no different than physical abuse. [Rabbis Waldenberg, Elyashiv and Auerbach agree that reporting is mandatory also.] Rabbi Elyashiv writes "there is no difference between boys and girl since one is dealing with a seriously life wounding event (pegiah nafshit) and a danger to the public ... this is much more serious than theft and one certainly must report this matter to the school administration and if nothing is done, even to the police even in the diaspora."]

EJF holds meeting to affirm that gerim must accept mitzvos

A publicity release from Lubicom published by Yeshiva World News states that EJF is in favor of gerim accepting mitzvos.

(Wittten by Lubicom)

Jerusalem…An impressive group of Gedolei Yisroel, rabbonim and dayanim reaffirmed the importance of ascertaining the sincerity of potential converts in accepting the “ohl hamitzvos,” at a special meeting organized by the Eternal Jewish Family (EJF) on May 29th. The meeting followed the highly publicized debate in Eretz Yisroel over the assertion that many conversions were lenient about the concept of “kabolas ohl mitzvos” at the time of conversion.

The meeting was opened by Harav Leib Tropper, Rosh Yeshiva, Kol/Yaakov, who serves as the head of Vaad Harabonim of EJF. He noted that the timing was rife for a gathering of yirei hashem on the subject, “which could only lead to positive results.” Harav Shmuel Eliezer Stern, representing the Bais Din of Harav Vosner and Rosh Yeshiva of Chasam Sofer, read a massage from Harav Sholom Yosef Eliyashiv, who warned that “we must be on guard with all our strength to prevent the incursion of foreign concepts (in giyur) into bais yisroel.”

[...]

Harav Tropper suggested closer scrutiny at time of giyur to determine the sincerity of the potential converts in keeping Torah and mitzvos. He also reiterated the position of Gedolei Yisroel that conversions can only be performed in established batei din and not batei din that are set up for the purpose of doing giyur and whose conversion must be redone. The meeting resolved to embark on an intensive educational campaign amongst local religious councils to emphasize their responsibility in preserving the sanctity of the Jewish nation.

Amongst the participants were Harav Yitzchok Scheiner, Rosh Yeshiva of Kaminetz and a member of the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah; Harav Shmuel Deutsch, a Rosh Yeshiva at Yeshiva Kol Torah; Harav Eliyahu Heishirik, Dayan of the Bet Din of Tel Aviv; Harav Mordechai Shlomo Steinmetz, Rav of Chasidei Viznitz, Jerusalem; Harav Moshe Havlin, Rav of Kiryat Gat; Harav Yosef ben Porat, Rosh Yeshiva Ashrei Ha’ish; Harav Nochum Eisenstein, Chairman of the International Committee on giyur affiliated with the beth din of Harav Eliyashiv; Harav Mordechai Kalmanowitz, Director of the Wedding Registry, Ashdod; and Harav Zvi Weinman, a toen.

Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita - Guidelines for calling the Police IV

Despite having written three postings about this subject, I still hear repeated assertions that 1) perpetrators of sexual crimes are invariably going to repeat their crimes 2) rabbis have no competence in evaluating whether the facts indicate that a person is a possible present and future threat. 3) there is no need to involve rabbis since any intelligent adult knows when to call the police.

1) The fact is that the secular law assumes that sexual criminals are not likely to repeat their crimes - if they are properly supervised. The statistics bear this out. Otherwise all sex crimes would be punished by life imprisonment. It is true that the drive to commit the crime is very difficult to irradicate - but that doesn't mean that all or even most sexual criminals will be repeat offenders. Obviously a pedophile should not be allowed a job in teaching children. However Rav Sternbuch has readily acknowledged that therapy and treatment is not very successful in changing the person so that he won't repeat his crime if given the opportunity.

2) Regarding predicting behavior of criminals - either as to whether a particular criminal will or will not commit another crime - even the professionals have trouble .

3) However Rav Sternbuch is not saying that the rabbi is asked to do a complete forensic investigation. His job is simply listening to the facts and concluding that there is a reasonable concern that the suspect is a threat to others. Rav Sternbuch also emphasized the importance of a solid working relations with the police. So that if a person is arrested - the community has some constructive influence on how the investigation is carried out. The rabbi also serves as a shield for the person who files the complaint. Because of the concern that the person will be perceived by others as an informant - there might be a hesitancy to file a complaint. The fact that the respected rabbi tells him to call the police increases the likelihood that the complaint will be filed and minimizes the chance he will be criticized by others for doing so. The rabbi can also serve to work together with the police to minimize the negative consequences to others.

I find the criticism of Rav Sternbuch's view to be astounding. His view - which I believe is that of the majority view of the major poskim - represents a significant and enlightened change from not only the recent past - but also what still goes on in many communities. Instead of welcoming his views - I hear complaints about why rabbis have to be involved since they know nothing about the matter. We are talking about a matter which is shredding our communities, our schools, our families and our children. Calling 911 is not a complete cure for the wounds that have been created and that will be created by investigation and punishment. The alternative view that the public perception is the only concern that matters - and not the individual - still exists. I remember attending a meeting of rabbis concerning a child molester - in which the agenda was simply - how do we get him to move out of the neighborhood. When I asked Rav Sternbuch about the matter - he said simply "call the police." Thus we are not dealing with a grand jury investigation but simply whether the facts indicate that someone is a threat to others.

Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita - Guidelines for calling the Police III

Chaim Yankel asked..

"He replied that the rabbis in those days were not aware of the serious impact these attacks have on children.'

Why was it SO poshut to many balei battim 15 yrs ago, what is now poshut to the Rabbonim?

The issue of what is poshut is not so poshut. The history of psychology is replete with twists and turns and what is todays gold standard can be viewed as malpractice tomorrow. There was a time when it was considered obvious that abused and neglected children should be placed in foster families or orphanages. Now many consider it better keep the child at home and provide intensive in home supervision. At one time it was considered a sign of insanity for a wife or child to be disrespectful of their husband or father. People were sent to mental hospitals for years because of this offense. There was a time that schizophrenia was believed caused by dysfunctional mothers. There was a time when people had chunks of their brain removed because of problems of anger. There was a time when it was considered obvious that families - no matter how dysfunctional - were told to stay together for the sake of the children. At one time it was obvious that those who suffered trauma needed to talk it out. Now it is known that many times such counseling actually makes the problem worse. There is a time when children who have trouble sitting quietly through hours of boring classes are given potent psychiatric medicines to make them more obedient.

Only in the world of Blogs is the obvious course of action for every major question - poshut. As you will note below - even a world reknown psychiatrist such as Rabbi Dr. Twerksi admits the complexity of these issues and that even he is not competent to decide every issue. Only the bor and am haaretz who is high on righteous indignation - "knows" the answer to everything and "knows" that the rabbis, teachers, parents [the establishment] are evil and stupid. For those people who are part of the real world and want to make constructive criticism - there is one important rule to keep in mind. While most important and necessary change comes from the bottom up and not from the top down, most of the time there is no need to destroy an institution or community to get change. Ranting and raving and slandering with shotgun attacks sometimes produces needed change - however such an approach often impedes change. Not every problem requires an atom bomb.

So to answer the above question. What was poshut to many baalei batim 15 years ago was not poshut to many other baalei batim. What is obvious today to many psychologists and educators was not obvious 15 years ago. Even in the so called scientific field of medicine - 15 years has seen major changes in what is poshut. Even today there is not unanimity as to what is the appropriate course of action on many critical issues. Why don't we try to work together instead playing the game of "gotcha" - of striving primarily to discover and publicize how stupid and evil others are.

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THE SHAME BORNE IN SILENCE:

Spouse Abuse in the Jewish Community Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.

[page 3]

There will be those who will say that such subjects should not be aired publicly, and that to do so is a chilul Hashem, a disgrace to wife batterers. I understand that position” but if I must choose between being reprimanded by those who believe that this problem wife batterers. I understand that position, but if I must choose between being reprimanded by those who believe that this problem should be concealed or by a wife who has suffered (along with her children) from an abusive husband, and could not receive help because no one believed her, I know where I must make my choice. Battered wives have often turned to their parents or to their spiritual leaders for help. Very often they have been told to avoid disrupting the family unit, to preserve shalom bayis (peace in the home), and that things will work out. Parents and rabbis are good and considerate people. They mean well, but they may have no way of knowing that their advice is wrong and could be deadly. In our daily confession (oshamnu), we list a number of sins to which a human being may succumb because of anger, greed, lust, and various temptations that may override a person’s better judgment. We also confess to yoatznu ra, “we have given bad advice.” Why on earth would anyone do that? What gain or pleasure could possibly result from misleading someone else? Surely we are not suspect of being sadistic and deriving pleasure from malicious behavior. No, we are not in any way suspect of being perverse. Yoatznu ra, means that we have mistakenly and unintentionally given bad advice, which we thought to be good advice and beneficial to those who sought our counsel. It is much like someone telling a friend, “Try this medication. It did wonders for me,” without knowing that the other person has a condition for which this medication may be very harmful. Unless we understand the problems of spouse abuse, we may unwittingly give bad advice to our children, our friends, our clients, and our parishioners….

[page 130]

I am not going to elaborate on the all-important subject of the various types of child abuse, because I am not a child psychiatrist or psychologist, and I do not have adequate direct clinical experience to speak intelligently and authoritatively about the subject. I can only try to alert people to the fact that these problems do occur in the Jewish home, and as with wife abuse, there is no immunity. Child abuse and molestation may occur in homes where we would least expect it. I urge child clinicians to provide first hand, comprehensive data on this vital subject, and for everyone in the community to give their utmost attention to this problem and to do whatever it takes to uproot it. Concealing the problem only serves to perpetuate it, and as distasteful as it may be, the community must confront the problem even at the risk of exposure. The issue of mandatory reporting must be looked at carefully and clarified. There is often reluctance by neighbors, relatives, and teachers to report child abuse. Should one report suspected child abuse or only when one knows for certain? Children do fall and injure themselves, and if an overzealous teacher reports the case of a child who was injured in a fall as one of child abuse, will the family be unfairly harassed? What should be done when one is not certain? How can one investigate in order to discover the truth? It is clear that everything must be done to protect the child from abuse, but by the same token, false reporting may cause harm to the child and the entire family. This and other issues require a great deal of enlightenment, and there is a need for extensive education and training for parents, educators, counselors, and rabbis. The area of child abuse is a subject for a whole book, and I touched on it only because of the strong correlation between spouse abuse and child abuse.

Rav Amar threatens to quit if Rav Druckman not reinstated

Arutz Sheva reports June 10. 2008

by Hillel Fendel

(IsraelNN.com) Chief Rabbi Shlomo Amar stands behind Conversion Authority head Rabbi Chaim Druckman, and demands that Prime Minister Ehud Olmert reinstate him.

Chief Sephardic Rabbi Shlomo Amar, the Rishon LeTzion, plans to meet with Olmert's top aides next week. One of the main issues, the rabbi's aides say, will be Rabbi Druckman.

Rabbi Druckman became the center of a storm last month when a three-judge panel of the High Rabbinical Court invalidated all the conversions to Judaism performed over the past several years under Rabbi Druckman's watch. Religious-Zionist rabbis immediately stated that they did not recognize the validity of the ruling, and Rabbi Amar reassured government ministers that the ruling was not binding.

However, in mid-May, Rabbi Druckman received a letter from the Prime Minister's Bureau stating that because of his age - he had recently turned 75 - his term as Head of the Conversion Authority was not being renewed. The PM's Bureau oversees the functions of what used to be the Religious Affairs Ministry.

A top aide to Rabbi Amar told Arutz-7's Shimon Cohen that the rabbi will make it clear to the Olmert team that if Rabbi Druckman is not reinstated, "he will consider resigning." No Chief Rabbi of Israel has ever resigned.

"Rabbi Amar will not allow Rabbi Druckman's status to be hurt in any way," the aide said. "Rabbi Druckman must remain the head of the Conversion Authority."

Different Approaches
At the heart of the matter is the halakhic [Jewish legal] requirement, agreed upon nearly unanimously, that prospective converts display a sincere intention to observe a religious lifestyle, or else their entry into the Jewish nation is insincere and invalid. However, there are two schools of thought as to how to implement this requirement.

One school says that if a convert appears to be sincere in his desire to be a religious Jew when he appears before the rabbinical court, the judges may suffice with this and allow the conversion. In addition, they need not check up later on his "progress."

The more hareidi school of thought is that if a convert is later seen to be living a non-religious lifestyle, this renders the conversion invalid almost automatically.

Understanding Our Special Generation
Rabbi Moshe Klein, Rabbi Druckman's deputy in the Conversion Administration, said, "Though both sides rely on the same Halakhic sources, they disagree as to how to understand our generation of the Ingathering of the Exiles and our obligation to prevent intermarriage of Jews... Rabbi Druckman attempted, within the strictures of Halakhah, to make conversion more convert-friendly - but his work was stopped in the middle."

Rabbi Druckman has a sterling reputation among his many thousands of students, and regularly remains awake until 1-2 AM in order to meet with and help the many people who need him. For decades, he maintained a harrowing schedule as the founder and head of the Yeshivat Ohr Etzion institutions (including a military yeshiva high school), father to nine children, head of the nationwide Yeshivot Bnei Akiva umbrella organization, teacher in Yeshivat Merkaz HaRav, Knesset Member, advisor and helper to uncounted people who turned to him at all hours of the day, and more. [...]

Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita - Guidelines for calling the Police II

I thought Rav Sternbuch's comments were clear - and yet I just saw some pretty gross distortions of his views on another blog that cited my posting. In fact the comments on that blog reflected an understanding just the opposite of what Rav Sternbuch actually said. Rav Sternbuch’s point was that when there is present and future danger the police should be called. It is important to know that the previous posting was read, edited and approved by Rav Sternbuch himself. However some blogs have an automatic bias against rabbis and so they assume that Rav Sternbuch is trying to protect molesters. The truth is just the opposite. Furthermore these bloggers assume that if someone is a molester, it is obvious that one should always call the police and publicize the crime. Again it is not always simple and obvious as to how to proceed.

What follows is simply my own attempt to try to provide a clarification and context for his words and any misunderstandings are solely my responsibility.

Rav Sternbuch’s point was that when there is present and future danger the police should be called. This view is one not only contrary to the public perception of how the chareidi world deals with these issues but is also contrary to the rulings of many rabbis – especially in the past. Rav Sternbuch is not saying that the role of the rabbis is to stop a person from calling the police – but to clarify that there is a present and future danger. If it is clear that a person is a molester – i.e., he confesses or there are clear witnesses - then it is probable that the police need to be involved. If it uncertain whether the accusations are true – but there is a clear possibility and the trauma is real – the police are better equipped to investigate.

However the investigation by the police and social workers is not a pleasant or neutral experience. There can be a real danger of trauma for the child and his family because of the questioning of the police or social workers. Not all police departments, social workers or psychologists are properly trained to deal with these cases with sensitivity. Consequently parents and/or the prosecutor will sometimes decide not to press charges or will accept confession to a lesser charge – to avoid further trauma to the child and family.

I just received the following note from a rabbi who has been involved in these issues for many years.

"Excellent public service about child molesting. However you left out the main problem with calling the police. Here [in New York State] when you call the police the family courts and police gain control over the molested child and even parents are forced at times to go to therapy and satisfy secular people. Someone here caught a man molesting his children. He called me up foaming at the mouth and threatened to call the police. I told him that was fine but before he did he should find out what is going to happen to him once he calls the police about his child. He called me back later thanking me and he did not call the police.”

I was recently asked for advice from a man who had just discovered that his son was a child molester. He wanted to know whether and how he should inform his brother that his schizophrenic son had been molesting his brother’s ten year old son? I told him that even though his son was seeing a therapist, he needed to contact someone who had a lot of experience in this area as to how to proceed. Not every psychologist or social worker is competent to deal with these issues.

Rav Sternbuch told me that he is fully aware of the fact the condition is difficult to treat and success is not common. Therefore he says he typically will tell a person who contacts him that he should call the police.. His message was simply that rabbis who automatically advise people not to call the police in situations of present and future danger are mistaken.

Rav Sternbuch’s statement that a rabbi should be consulted, doesn’t mean any person with semicha can be consulted. The average rabbi is not equipped to deal with these issues – nor is the average therapist or social worker. You need to consult someone who is experienced and successful in this area.

I just spoke with another posek who concurred with Rav Sternbuch's position. I asked him why it seems so obvious now but that this what not the standard psak 10 or 15 years ago. He replied that the rabbis in those days were not aware of the serious impact these attacks have on children. This ignorance is not just in the chareidi world but also existed/exists in the Modern Orthodox world see the links on the Wikipedia article about R’ Yosef Blau mashgiach at Yeshiva University.

Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita - Guidelines for calling the Police

There is a widespread impression that the police and the chareidi world have an inherently antagonistic relationship. There is also a widespread perception that the chareidi world is more concerned with covering up crimes such as child or wife abuse and that pedophiles are given free run. In other words there is a perception that the chareidi community is more worried by adverse publicity then it is about the welfare of the individual.

This Shabbos I had an intensive discussion with Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita about these issues.

1) Child Molesters

He stated without hesitation and said that I can quote him - that if one knows that children are being molested that one should call the police. He noted that there is an important distinction to keep in mind. One calls the police when it is clear that someone is still in danger. Thus one does not automatically call the police concerning an event that took place once and is not going to be repeated. In such a case one should first consult with a rav. When I mentioned that many rabbis apparently felt differently – he dismissed such a view as being wrong. He noted also that it is important for the community rabbis to have a good working relationship with the police. That means that the police need to be sensitive to the needs and nature of the chareidi community and the community needs to be understanding of the police. He said that there is such a relationship with many police forces.

The rule is summarized simply – if one knows that someone is being physically abused or will be abused than it is required to call the police after consulting a rabbi who agrees he is a future danger as is common in such cases. It is self-evident that if there is danger that someone will be harmed or even might be harmed if a rabbi is consulted first  - then the police should be contacted first.

2) Vigilante actions

I mentioned the issue of vigilante actions in the chareidi community and whether they are to be praised or condemned. He noted that there are unfortunately disturbed and misguided individuals in the chareidi community – as there are in other communities. The general rule is not to make a public protest when the problem is rare and insignificant. He said that it only encourages these individuals when their activities are publicized. However if they progress beyond this stage then it is important to take action. He mentioned the Bedatz dealt last year with vigilantes who burned down a clothing store in Geula. I mentioned the recent incident in Beitar. He said he condemned such behavior. If it is clearly not a rare act of a disturbed person then it needs to be dealt with.

[This is also related to the recent outbreak of burglaries in Har Nof where Rav Sternbuch lives. The unanimous ruling of the rabbonim of Har Nof is that one can call the police on Shabbos if one witnesses a break-in as there is also life danger involved. As is explained in Shmiras Shabbos K’hilchosa (41:25-29) – this is because the possible danger associated with these break-ins. See also Aruch HaShulchan (C.M. 388:7). Tzitz Eliezer (19:52) also permitted calling the police in the case of teacher molesting his students. He based his psak on the Aruch HaShulchan.]

Conversion crisis reflects fundamental changes in Religious Zionism

Haaretz has a thought provoking article by Avirama Golan

This Shavuot will find N. preoccupied and anguished. N., a young woman born in Switzerland, visited her local rabbinate a few weeks ago to register to get married and suddenly discovered she was not qualified to do so. All lobbying efforts were of no avail, including those waged by senior Orthodox rabbis. When she handed in her parents' ketubah (Jewish marriage contract), as requested by the dayanim (religious court judges), their eyes gravitated immediately to her mother's name, Bat Avraham Avinu, "daughter of our father, Abraham" - a code for "convert." The rabbinical court refused to register her, the validity of her mother's conversion was questioned, and N. was sent back to the drawing board. There is simply no one to talk to about it.

N. is humiliated and shocked. Her grandmother, the daughter of a well-to-do Christian family, married a Jewish refugee who fled from Eastern Europe to Switzerland, and paid a heavy price for it. Her grandfather, who became a successful businessman, dedicated his life to Zionist activities and to helping the State of Israel. N.'s mother was raised Jewish.

[...]

N.'s experiences constitute a mere corollary to the events of the last few weeks. The rabbinical court in Jerusalem retroactively canceled the conversion of a married woman with children, thus nullifying her marriage and the Jewish status of her children as well. In the course of these proceedings, one of the leading rabbis of the religious Zionist movement, Rabbi Haim Druckman, who was involved in the case, was treated like one of the worst enemies of Judaism by the court. This once again illustrates the change that has taken place in the religious Zionist movement as a whole and among its leadership in particular.

The public did not fully understand the rabbinical court's ruling and its bitter outcome. The media hype focused almost entirely on the ultra-Orthodox rabbinical court judges' "hazing" of Druckman; in the end, it seemed he had been dismissed from his position as head of the Conversion Administration. Between this media uproar and the facts there is a substantial gap. In any event, Druckman was nearing retirement age. The Civil Service Commission, following the state comptroller's harsh report, sent home several other senior conversion officials. Druckman was not among them.

The current Conversion Administration, which was hastily created by then-prime minister Ariel Sharon with the goal of bypassing ultra-Orthodox bureaucracy, suffered from its inception from internal power struggles, external pressures and efforts to delegitimize its decisions. In retrospect, it was clear also to the sworn supporters of Druckman (who is an educator, but not an authorized dayan - a halakhic conundrum that was resolved only in part with the approval of the chief rabbis and which was never accepted by the ultra-Orthodox establishment), that the idea of an administration that is separate from the rabbinical establishment is totally flawed. Its existence was a permanent subject of dispute, and the idea that conversions would be overturned and that over 1,000 converts would turn into Jews with questionable status constantly hovered above it.

Differences of opinion

The differences of opinion on conversion between the different streams of Orthodoxy (ultra-Orthodox and hardalim - a combination of ultra-Orthodox and religious Zionist) are very clear-cut, and focus on the legal and halakhic (i.e., relating to traditional Jewish law) question of whether a person who will not maintain a religious lifestyle can even be converted. This is similar, for example, to the question of whether it is permissible to marry a couple that will clearly not observe the laws of family purity, or to mourn someone who violates the Sabbath. These are serious halakhic questions, the answers to which are definitive and well reasoned.

The ruling of Rabbi Avraham Sherman, who was responsible for revoking the conversions in Jerusalem, answers this question unequivocally: As far as halakha goes, a person who tries to convert despite the fact that it is known (or even suspected) that he will not observe the mitzvot, will not be converted. The phrase "converts are as problematic for Israel as psoriasis," was never so fitting.

Sherman argued, based on detailed halakhic arguments, that anyone who converts such people is tainted by sin, and even went so far as to annul the ruling of the former head of the Tel Aviv rabbinical court, Rabbi Shlomo Dichovsky (who was always attacked for his enlightened positions), who ruled several years ago in a similar case that the rabbinical court is not authorized to annul a conversion executed by a special court. This matter will be presented soon before the High Court of Justice, but the dispute between those who want to protect the threshold of halakha and those who seek leniency for social-nationalist reasons, will remain in force.

Ever since the advent of religious Zionism, creative solutions have been found to social-national-halakhic disputes. Today there is no chance of that happening. Among the religious Zionists, not a single respected rabbi today would dare express what many conversion court judges would be willing to accept - that the vital need to absorb hundreds of thousands of immigrants, not the ultra-Orthodox viewpoint, is the determining factor in the process, and that society and the nation are more important than the intricate, fine points of halakha.

Authorities ranging from the Tzohar rabbis (a young modern Orthodox organization of rabbis) to Israel's Chief Rabbi Shlomo Amar know that conversion can turn into a sweeping national-social means to ensure the acceptance of thousands of people, all of whom tremble before the wrath of Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, who heads the Lithuanian sect of Israel's Haredi society. They explain their evasiveness by claiming that only a few thousand individuals want to convert, and many get married in Cyprus or don't get married at all, as if they did not know that this is not the cause but the result, whose main victims are those who observe tradition.

The Zionist rabbis have always tried to walk a fine line and upset the "blacks" - ultra-Orthodox - as little as possible, but there were times when leaders of great stature dared to breach the limits of halakha for the sake of social and nationalist values. What a difference from the Hardali rabbis of today, who speak out mostly on issues relating to modesty (or the "wickedness" of the state), and from Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, who told the pioneers of Merhavia in 1913 that he came "not to influence, but to be influenced," and danced in a circle with them dressed in pioneers' clothes. Or, take, for that matter, the former chief rabbi, Shlomo Goren, who explained his decision to absolve the status of a brother and a sister who are considered mamzerim (bastards) according to halakha, saying that the "commandment to settle the Land of Israel is as important as conversion."

Back to Haredi basics

The ultra-Orthodox Sherman, well aware of the tension between the needs of society, the nation and Jewish law, waved a red flag before the nationalist religious rabbis in ruling that halakha overrode any other circumstance - but they responded with silence. Their silence does not stem from a weak capitulation to the ultra-Orthodox. It is the reflection of a process that goes much deeper and is far more serious.

The concept of the Greater Land of Israel as a central theme is gradually losing steam. The settlements are indeed still standing, but the Israeli public's attitude toward them has changed. The connection, which for a dramatic and limited period of time seemed so enchanting, between religion and the nation and between messianic faith and the state, which attracted many ultra-Orthodox to the cause, was abruptly torn apart during the disengagement. The disengagement is not the cause. It just provided a signal to mark the peak of the ongoing process, which was accelerated following the Oslo Accords and the Rabin assassination, but started even before, as rabbis, guides and educators preferred to withdraw to ultra-Orthodox values and gradually abandon the official state.

Now it seems that the circle, which evolved some 100 years ago when a handful of rabbis bravely joined the inherently secular Zionist movement, is gradually being closed. A substantial proportion of religious Zionists have been absorbed back into ultra-Orthodoxy, even if the latter is not receiving them with open arms. The almost exclusive narrative of religious Zionism concerns a spiritual return to Zion - not pragmatic political nationalism - and prominent rabbis are reverting back to the Diaspora conception that places halakha above any other principle, and primarily above society.

In this process, conversion has become a symbol. It holds the key to the gate to the Jewish people and/or Israeli society, and it pits the social-national agenda against halakha, Israeliness against the Judaism that favors "a nation that dwells alone," and the choice of forming a civil society dwelling on its land against the old longing for an existence outside history and time.

The annulment of the conversion and the denunciation of Druckman revealed a gap that is hard to breach among the religious Zionist public, and optimists hope that some kind of change for the better will emerge from it. However, it seems that the religious and secular majority, Jewish and non-Jewish, is incapable of and uninterested in waging the fight to wrest power from rabbinical tyrants.
[...]