Menachem Avel – Telephone

Igros Moshe ( OC IV #40.11)  Question Is the mitzva of comforting mourners (nichum aveilim) fulfilled by a telephone call? Answer  There are two factors in comforting mourners. 1) The benefit to the mourners since they are very upset and they need comforting which normally requires going to their home 2) The benefit to the deceased as is stated in the gemora (Shabbos 152). The Rambam rules that comforting mourners  takes precedence over visiting the sick since it is showing kindness with the living and the dead  The Rambam is obviously referring to a situation where there are others who will be taking care of the sick otherwise there might be a problem of pikuach nefesh.  It seems to me that the benefit to the mourner can be fulfilled by a telephone call. In contrast the benefit to the deceased can only be fulfilled by going to the place of mourning or where the body is located. Even for the mourners it is clearly preferable that he receive a physical visit. Consequently in actuality whenever  it is possible he should go personally and thus fulfill the mitzva in the best manner. Nonetheless a telephone call is at least a partial fulfillment of the mitzva. If it is impossible to go in person because of illness or he is involved in doing another mitzva then he can at least fulfill the mitzva with a telephone call.  It is clearly permitted for the mourner to to speak on the the phone and receive words of comfort. However just to make a telephone call to ask how some is doing – even a child – it is forbidden for the mourner