Rabbi Efrem Goldberg (senior rabbi of the Boca Raton Synagogue) gave permission to republish this letter with the link to his shul's webpage. This is an important letter. [see letter by Rabbi Heshy Billet]
This time of the year, Rabbis everywhere can be heard lecturing and
preaching about teshuva, repentance. They are likely invoking the
famous formula of the Rambam, Maimonides, who instructs us that
authentic, genuine self reflection and introspection are made up of
three crucial elements: we must verbally confess the error of our ways,
we must be regretful and remorseful for what we did and lastly, we must
commit never to behave the mistaken way again.
This year, I believe, Rabbis would be terribly remiss if we didn’t
broadly and loudly model and exemplify the formula for teshuva ourselves
before we lecture about it. We, the Rabbinic community and the
leadership of the Modern Orthodox establishment, are in profound need of
collective teshuva. Allow me to explain.
The beginning of the new millennium saw the shocking revelation of
widespread sex abuse among Catholic priests and the apparent cover-up by
the Church itself. There was a public outcry stemming from the
inability to comprehend how those responsible for the safety, well-being
and protection of children could themselves be complicit in such
devastating behavior.
Sadly, as we have entered the second decade of the millennium, it has
become clear that the Jewish community is not immune to such behavior.
Though the latest revelations of abuse at Yeshiva University 30 years
ago are officially only allegations at this time, it is clear from the
anecdotal evidence that has emerged, as well as the direct statements of
dozens of victims, that our collective community is in need of a
profound and difficult teshuva process.
Abuse has not only allegedly taken place at Yeshiva University and
previously under NCSY’s watch, but over the last few years, sex abuse
scandals have shocked Orthodox communities all over North America and
beyond. Our own Boca Raton community has found itself the focus of much
attention of late, not because of allegations of abuse in our
community, but because of serious allegations surrounding a Boca
resident prior to his relocating here. (I once again invite anyone in
our community with questions or seeking clarification regarding this
issue to meet with me and I know Rabbi Brander extends the same
invitation to community members seeking clarification from him as well) [my emphasis DT]
A common theme in many of the cases is the knowledge among community
members that something was suspicious about the person and their
behavior long before a newspaper story was published, a scandal broke or
an arrest occurred. Yet, the discomfort with the perpetrator felt by
community members and leaders alike, rarely led to action.
Who is accountable for the pain, trauma and in some cases
irreversible damage done to those who were hurt after the community was
already suspicious? Is it previous victims? On average it takes a
victim of abuse 20 years to tell anyone, including those closest to him
or her. They are not to blame for failing to speak up and any attempt
at blaming them is deepening their pain while failing to understand
their plight.
Is it parents of those abused? In many cases the abused or their
parents desperately don’t want the attention or consequences resulting
from being the person or people who “brought the perpetrator down.”
They prefer to suffer silently rather than enter the fray. I don’t
believe we can judge them or their decision, certainly not if we have
never been in their shoes.
What about fellow community members who were aware of the suspicious
behavior? What is their accountability? After a perpetrator is
identified in the newspapers or by being arrested, you will often hear
community members say, “I am not surprised; I had heard that he has an
abusive past.” Some even have the audacity to call out community
leaders for failing to act when, in fact, the community leader may not
have known what these community members knew or as much as they knew,
and they are the ones whose silence was inexcusable. It is easy after
the fact to boast how much one knew about the perpetrator and their
nefarious behavior all along. Doing so, however, reveals in retrospect
that the boaster was a passive enabler to the abuse, as he failed to
intercede earlier.
I admire and applaud Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky and others who have penned an apology
for not having done more to speak up on their classmates’ behalf.
Perhaps similar statements by those who “knew” and didn’t want to get
involved in other cases would go a long way to alleviate the pain and
suffering of victims of abuse, who in addition to the pain suffered from
their perpetrator, have felt isolated and abandoned by those who should
have done more.
What about Rabbis and community leaders? What is our
accountability? As we reflect back on the scandal of silence, a harsh
and painful observation emerges. In too many cases, Rabbis were at best
alerted to, and at worst directly called upon to intervene to stop
perpetrators of abuse. Tragically, not only did too many fail to act to
report offenders to the authorities, but in many cases, some Rabbis
shielded and even embraced the perpetrators, instead of the victims.
Laws of lashon harah (gossip) and judging others favorably were
misapplied, often at victims’ expense.
As we reflect back, it is becoming clear that too many Rabbis turned
away victims, rather than rushing to embrace them, believe in them and
support them. Too many Rabbis justified and excused the behavior of
perpetrators maintaining their friendships, rather than protecting their
communities. Too many Rabbis, who no longer could tolerate the
offender’s presence in their communities, shipped them to other
communities in an effort to move on and hope the problem would go away.
Most egregiously, they failed to even notify their colleagues of the
offenders past so that his new community could vigilantly watch over
him. Too many institutional leaders and heads have failed to speak with
moral clarity in addressing our collective past, present and future
regarding these issues.
The Rambam’s formula begins with verbal confession. It isn’t enough
to know in one’s heart that he or she did something wrong. It doesn’t
suffice for behavior to be so egregious that an apology need not be
verbalized. No, the Rambam says, unless one undergoes the exercise of
articulating what went wrong, we cannot assume he or she understands the
severity of their misdeeds or the impact it had on others.
Now is the time to articulate our collective failings and where we
have been deficient. As the distrust in Rabbis and modern orthodox
institutions grows by the day, and the cynicism and skepticism for our
mission and messages increases with it, we absolutely cannot afford to
be silent and mute.
This week marks the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I
Have a Dream” speech in Washington, D.C. Many speeches were given that
day, but his is by far the most famous and the most remembered. But
there was a Rabbi who spoke that day on the steps of the Lincoln
Memorial. Rabbi Joachim Prinz, president of the American Jewish
Council, and a rabbi from Berlin who experienced the wrath of Hitler,
warned: “Bigotry and hatred are not the most urgent problems.” He
continued, “The most urgent, the most disgraceful, the most tragic
problem is silence.” Remembering the rise of Hitler, he added: “A great
people, which had created a great civilization, had become a nation of
silent onlookers. They remained silent in the face of hate, in the face
of brutality, in the face of mass murder. America must not become a
nation of silent onlookers.”
We cannot and must not be silent and thereby fail to address what
happened, what went wrong, who was involved and how can we prevent it
from happening again. If Rabbis are to retain the respect of our
congregants and if Jewish institutions and organizations are to retain
the trust of the community, rather than be silent onlookers, we must
speak loudly and clearly about where we stand on these issues.
We must ensure that our synagogues, schools, camps and campuses be
free of abusers, pedophiles and perpetrators. Aside from the continued
risk their participation presents, their mere presence can trigger past
trauma and pain of victims of abuse who are in the same room. I
recognize and empathize that when there is suspicion with no clear
proof, it is complicated to know what to do. However, while due process
is owed to the alleged offender, a process itself is owed to those who
raise the suspicion and to the community in which the accused resides.
The bottom line is this: There is a right side and wrong side to
this issue and now is the time to be clear which side we are on. It is
difficult, and perhaps even unfair, to evaluate the response thirty
years ago to accusations of abuse, with the knowledge and understanding
we have now. But, what in my mind is not difficult at all and what is
necessary now that we know so much more, is to be on the correct side of
these issues today.
When a leading Rabbi in Israel invites a convicted abuser to give a
Shiur to his Yeshiva, he is on the wrong side of this issue. When a
Yeshiva High School principal who wants the trust of his students and
parents maintains a visible relationship, even if understated, with a
registered sex offender, he is on the wrong side of this issue. When a
major Jewish organization retains a Rabbi who continues to defend a
pedophile who pled guilty in court, and continues to defend a letter he
wrote stating that the victim who reported the pedophile is a moseir who
has no portion in the world to come, it is on the wrong side of this
issue. [emphasis DT]
It pains me that my beloved Yeshiva University is currently embroiled
in controversy of its own, so let me be clear. YU and my many Rebbeim
there have shaped my identity, my thinking and my Rabbinate. I am YU
through and through and believe the world would be a much worse place if
YU didn’t exist. The Orthodox Union is a center of great chesed, youth
work, outreach and education. I am proud of our Shul’s affiliation
with the OU and my personal involvement in their activities and
programs.
I turn now to YU and the OU, not to alienate, criticize or condemn. I
turn to them as a loyal and loving ally, not as an adversary. I turn
to YU and the OU because that is what I have always done and because I,
like so many of you, yearn for their leadership at this critical time. I
respect and admire Dr. Lamm’s courage in addressing his role in the YU case, but more is desperately needed, and it is needed right now. [emphasis DT]
History will evaluate how the Modern Orthodox world, its leadership
and its institutions reacted to these revelations. I, for one, don’t
want to be accused of being a silent onlooker to the pain and plight of
victims who were failed by the community and the Rabbis who were
entrusted with the sacred duty of protecting them. We owe victims of
abuse an apology and a comprehensive plan of how we will make sure that
what happened to them never happens again.
To their credit, Yeshiva University has commissioned an investigation
and has promised to share the results publicly. I trust them and
eagerly await their showing us how to take responsibility, display
empathy, and put in place a process to prevent and address these kinds
of abuses.
The final stage of the Rambam’s formula for teshuva is a commitment
to the future. Here is my pledge to our Boca Raton Synagogue community:
As your Rabbi…
- I will always put the safety, security and protection of our children first.
- I will take seriously and immediately address any report of abusive behavior or inappropriate conduct.
- I will not hesitate or delay to report abusive behavior to the authorities to investigate, while staying cognizant of the fact that a person is not guilty just because they have been accused.
- I will be transparent with you regarding what I know and how and why I did or didn’t act, to the greatest extent possible without violating confidentiality.
- I will do all that I can to ensure that our campus is off limits to established pedophiles, convicted sex offenders, and abusers.
- I will be proactive in communicating with the leadership of other communities should a perpetrator of abuse move from my community to theirs. [emphasis DT]
I have no doubt that the Orthodox community will overcome this issue
and position itself once again as a voice of moral clarity and a
principal spokesperson of Torah’s timeless values. We will have to take
courageous steps, make difficult decisions and have uncomfortable
conversations. But when we do, we will have not only lectured about
teshuva, we will have demonstrated it.
I have an even higher expectation. The right and wrong side of issues are based on when the public opinion exists and creates this right and wrong side. At such a point, a Rabbi placing himself on the right side isn't such a difficult task and doesn't require much real backbone. It's when the public opinion hasn't yet developed that a Rabbi is really put to the test. He must do the right thing which The Torah teaches him when he learns The Torah with a true open mind - when he learns LISHMA. He must then follow The Torah's guidelines even if it on the apparently 'wrong' side of the issue. The time will eventually come when the issue will gain it's clarity amongst the masses and at that point Sof Hakavod Lavo for the Rabbi who was right all along even when he was fighting a lone battle. A true rabbi is a pioneer to follow only The Torah and not the pressure of public opinion. A famous understanding of the Gemara which says that at the Ikvasa D'meshicha it will be Pnei Hador K'pnei Hakelev is that as the dog, although walking in front of his master, is in fact none the less following his master, because he constantly turns around to see where his master wants him to go, so is the leader who appears to be leading but in fact only 'leads' to exactly where the followers demand that he go.
ReplyDelete2 questions for Rabbi Goldberg :
ReplyDelete1-When one becomes aware of abuse that took place, should he call a Rabbi or the police?
2-When someone chooses to call a Rabbi, should the Rabbi investigate the matter, or directly refer him to call the police?
When one becomes aware of abuse, he should report it to the authorities immediately
ReplyDeleteRabbi Efrem Goldberg
Boca Raton Synagogue
561.394.0394
Follow me at www.twitter.com/rabbigoldberg
Friend me at www.facebook.com/efrem.goldberg
Click here for our new Teshuva Campaign Brochure
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ReplyDeleteRabbi Goldberg wrote me regarding the above comment.
Delete"I don't know what this refers to at all. Please have him contact me off line and I promise to address immediately."
I will be glad to forward any material to Rabbi Goldberg if one don't want to communicate directly with him.
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DeleteWhen a Yeshiva High School principal who wants the trust of his students and parents maintains a visible relationship, even if understated, with a registered sex offender, he is on the wrong side of this issue.
ReplyDeleteWhat does this mean? A principal or Rov is not allowed to even TALK to a sex offender? He cannot counsel him or pasken his shaylos?
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DeleteThe comments from North Miami have been deleted because Rabbi Goldberger categorically denies the charges and presented evidence that supported his statements.
ReplyDelete