For Orthodox Jews, a Different Kind of Prenup

Wall Street Journal

The halachic prenup—which dates back decades and has been championed by the Beth Din of America, the U.S.’s biggest rabbinical court—has gone mainstream in some circles as a mechanism to avoid the messy, sometimes abusive situations that advocates say can arise as divorce becomes more common in the Orthodox Jewish community.

The prenup serves to reduce the incidence of agunot, a Hebrew term for women who remain married against their will. Orthodox Jewish couples need to both civilly and religiously divorce, and only men have the power to grant the religious divorce, called a “get.”

A husband’s refusal to grant a get is part of a pattern often common in domestic-abuse situations because it is an assertion of power and control over his wife, with economic and social ramifications that are unique to Orthodox communities, said Orly Kusher, an attorney at Sanctuary for Families, a New York-based advocacy group for domestic-violence victims. She leads the group’s new legal-services program focused on agunot.

In situations where women are refused a get, Ms. Kusher said, they are often not allowed to participate in religious ceremonies, and can be denied access to shared finances and to children. The women are sometimes ostracized from the larger Orthodox community, she added, their reputations damaged and religiosity called into question.

“It can be tough on their children,” Ms. Kushner said, “because when they approach the age when they are getting married, they are seen as damaged goods.”

Over 15 years of serving domestic-abuse victims, Shoshannah Frydman, a social worker and clinical director of family violence and social services at New York’s Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty, said she has seen an increasing number of Orthodox Jewish women coming to her agency seeking help and who are often unable to obtain a get. 

Most notable, she said, is the change in demographics. Years ago, her clients were in their 50s and 60s, with children who were also married. Now, she said, more of her clients are in their 20s and 30s, with one or two young children. “That is very significant because it means there is more awareness in the community,” Ms. Frydman said.

The drive toward more women seeking help, advocates and rabbis say, is partly a reaction to modern times. It used to be that communities were bound by geography, with limited mobility and strong rabbinical courts. Under those circumstances, a man refusing a get would be ostracized.

Now, to pressure a man withholding a get, people and organizations take to Twitter and Facebook, hold protests at his home or submit his name to a list published in the Jewish Press, an independent weekly newspaper.[...]

Rabbi Jeremy Stern, executive director of the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot, said his group is currently aiding about 70 women who have been working for years toward a get. Because of that, the organization has raised awareness about prenups and postnups at high schools, colleges and synagogues, even hosting postnup-signing parties. In the past 12 months, 125 prenups and postnups have been included in a registry, up from 48 from the previous 12 months, he said.

“We are very, very strong advocates of the Jewish prenuptial agreement,” said Rabbi Stern, “and we are looking to go out of business by standardizing its use.”

As Pennsylvania Confronts Clergy Sex Abuse, Victims and Lawmakers Act

NY Times

By the age of 12, Maureen Powers, the daughter of a professor at the local Roman Catholic university, played the organ in the magnificent hilltop Catholic basilica here and volunteered in the parish office. But, she said, she was hiding a secret: Her priest sexually abused her for two years, telling her it was for the purpose of “research.”

By her high school years, she felt so tied up in knots of betrayal and shame that she confided in a succession of priests. She said the first tried to take advantage of her sexually, the second suggested she comfort herself with a daily candy bar and the third told her to see a counselor. None of them reported the abuse to the authorities or mentioned that she could take that step.

So when a Pennsylvania grand jury revealed in a report in March that the Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown, which includes Loretto, engaged in an extensive cover-up of abuse by as many as 50 church officials, Ms. Powers, now 67, decided to finally report her case. She called the office of the state attorney general and recounted her story, including the name of her abuser, a prominent monsignor who was not listed in the grand jury report.

“I just felt like now, someone will believe me,” said Ms. Powers, who retired after 30 years in leadership positions at the Y.W.C.A. in Lancaster, Pa.

She was not alone. Ms. Powers was among more than 250 abuse survivors and tipsters who called a hotline set up by the Pennsylvania attorney general, Kathleen G. Kane. Twenty agents were needed to answer the phones, and a voice mailbox was set up to handle the overflow.

Nearly 15 years after Boston suffered through a clergy abuse scandal dramatized in the recent movie “Spotlight,” Pennsylvania is going through its own painful reckoning. From the State Capitol in Harrisburg to kitchens in railroad towns, people say they have been stunned to read evidence that priests they knew as pastors, teachers and confessors were secretly abusing children — findings the grand jury report called “staggering and sobering.” Victims are coming forward for the first time to family and friends, and alumni of parochial schools are pulling out their yearbooks, marveling at how smiling faces hid such pain.

Multiplying the outrage, the grand jury report supplied evidence that the police, district attorneys and judges in the Altoona and Johnstown area colluded with bishops in the cover-up, quashing the pleas of parents who tried to blow the whistle on priests who sexually abused children. Some of those officials are named in the report, and some still hold public office. [...]

The legislator leading the charge to extend the statute of limitations is State Representative Mark Rozzi, a Democrat from Berks County. Still boyish at 44, he is haunted by memories of being raped by a priest in middle school — a priest he later learned went on to sexually abuse some of his friends. He said he decided to run for office in 2013 after the second of those friends committed suicide. On Good Friday a year ago, a third friend also took his own life.

“If I had spoken up when I was 13 or 14, I probably could have saved a lot of my friends. I feel a lot of guilt,” Mr. Rozzi said. “I came here to do this.”

He did not speak about his abuse until he was 39, and since then he has not stopped. He ran for office campaigning to change the statute of limitations, which imposes deadlines on when victims can bring civil suits or prosecutors can press charges. Victims of child sexual abuse in Pennsylvania can file civil suits until they turn 30, and criminal cases until they are 50. [...]

"No-Brainer" For Orthodox Jewish Voters: Ted Cruz!! By, Rabbi Shloime Pollak

Guest Post [this post reflects only the view of Rabbi Pollak - will publish articles supporting other candidates as well]

Ted Cruz is simply the best- by far - on our top two issues: Israel’s security, and school choice.

We send politicians and "Shtadlanim" (special pleaders/lobbyists) to Washington and state capitals with the hope that they will advocate on our behalf. We hope they can lobby the powers-that-be, to be sensitive to our community's concerns......imagine having a President, that unapologetically advocates for our values......himself!!

Foreign Policy: Israel

The most concerning foreign policy issue to our community- and it's not even close- is the safety and security of our brothers and sisters, "the six million Jews" living in Eretz Yisrael.

Caroline Glick has publicly stated, that Israel has no greater friend than Senator Ted Cruz. That is an understatement. Senator Cruz has been defending and FIGHTING against Israel’s many mortal enemies for a very long time.

A Cruz Presidency would be the most pro-Israel presidency IN HISTORY. Do you think that this is an exaggeration? You won't, after you hear what happened, when newly elected Senator Ted Cruz was invited to give the keynote address at the Gala-dinner in Washington D.C....  

"In Defense of Christians"- is a non-profit group created to raise awareness of the plight of Christians in the middle east at the hands of Muslims. They invited the freshly elected, outspoken, and articulate Senator, to be their main speaker. As a devout Evangelical Christian, and a passionate voice for his Christian brethren the world over, Cruz was a perfect choice, and the Senator accepted. Cruz would later say, that he had been informed on the day of the dinner, that there will be Jew haters at the event...... Did he temper his remarks, or pander to the audience, like any politician would? NO!...

“Tonight”, began Cruz, “we are all united in defense of Christians. Tonight, we are all united in defense of JEWS." Boos began.... Did that stop the courageous LEADER? of course not!!... Two sentences later Ted Cruz announced in no uncertain terms, “Christians have no greater ally than Israel.” The boos resumed as did cries of “just stop it!!!"......

Calmly, the statesman paused collecting his thoughts, and without a hint of anger or trace of confrontation said, “If you will not stand with Israel and the Jewish people, then I will not stand with you. Good Night and G-d bless you.” Cruz, then, smiled, waved to crowd and walked off the stage!!!

Had Senator Cruz been just another "pro-Israel" politician, he would have rationalized, that the dinner was about an important issue, and simply refrained from mentioning the two words that drove those anti-Semitic bigots crazy [Jews and Israel] ...BUT NOT CRUZ! If you don't stand with the freedom loving Jews of Israel, Senator Cruz wants to have nothing to do with you!

Lest you think this was some publicity stunt, on behalf of the Senator to garner Jewish votes, consider the way this story was reported at the time (and is still reported as such, online) "Cruz Gets Booed Off Stage"!! It was treated as a great humiliation and failure on Cruz's part, and he wasn't given any credit in the media for being principled, and standing up for an ally- The State of Israel... But, WE must recognize that we truly have a one-of-a-kind friend, in Senator Ted Cruz.

In his short time in the Senate, Cruz led many efforts on Israel's behalf. He successfully led the effort to cancel Obama's anti-Semitic travel ban, during the Gaza war. He also shone a bright light on the plight of the three kidnapped Kedoshim by giving an impassioned speech on the floor of the senate next to a big picture of the three of them. Most critically, against the catastrophic Iranian "deal", there is not one person- Jew or Gentile- that has worked, advocated, campaigned, or argued as much as Cruz has...

As for promises for the future, Cruz has given his word- which has so far been as good as gold-to rip-up the Iranian "deal", and to move the US embassy to Jerusalem, on his FIRST day as President. He also intends to defund Universities that engage in BDS, and prosecute those engaged in illegal boycotts. Most importantly, for the first time since Oslo in the mid 90's, President Cruz will not impose on Israel a commitment to the failed "Two State Solution".

To put it in perspective, here are the current candidates for President-all self-proclaimed "Pro-Israel"- and where they stand relative to past Presidents’ relationship to Israel...

-Bernie Sanders & Hillary Clinton = Barak Obama......biased towards the "poor Hamas killers".

-Donald Trump = Bill Clinton......neutral, and evenhanded and very susceptible to bullying the more reasonable and peace loving side -Israel.

-Kasich (Rubio, mainline GOP) = George W. Bush......biased towards Israel, but easily distracted or overridden by other regional concerns.

-Ted Cruz= A class of his own......committed to the safety and viability of the State of Israel.

For those of you, considering supporting Trump, and ignoring his very troubling statements regarding Israel, because "Trump's daughter, and her family are Jewish, so Trump will certainlybe good towards Israel".... don't forget that Hillary's [ONLY] daughter is also married to a Jewish boy, and Senator Bernie Sanders is HIMSELF a Jew from Brooklyn!!!

Domestic Policy: School Choice

Our community is uniquely effected by the ongoing debate nationwide between the public school system, and empowering the parents to send their children to a school of their choosing. Senator Cruz's oft-repeated cry, that "school choice is the civil rights issue of this generation", can potentially SAVE - financially - our struggling families......

With public school absolutely off the table in the Orthodox community, every family is forced to pay tuition to educate our typically large families. In effect, we are all essentially being double taxed. We pay taxes to educate our neighbors' children in public schools, and then pay again, in the form of tuition, for our large families.

For years, we have understood, that if only every parent would receive a "voucher" to pay tuition to the school of their choice, almost everyone will be happy. Those of us inclined to send to private schools, would be able to do so in an affordable way. For the public in general, the free market would dramatically improve academic levels and equally as dramatic, drive down the cost.

A President Cruz, that is an ardent supporter of school choice, can help arguably the three most vulnerable among us; the Yungerleit/young families (haven't secured themselves financially), the large families (drowning in tuition bills), and the Yeshivas and their supporters (unable to recover all the tuition owed/ unable to cover the collection costs).

It is also important to realize that, free market principles are an integral part of Cruz’s worldview, he isn't "pandering" (telling a group of voters what they want to hear) to Orthodox Jewish voters. In fact, Ted Cruz, unlike Trump, DOES NOT pander. So when Donald Trump was promising Iowa farmers that he will force Americans to buy their corn for ethanol/gas, Ted Cruz did not tell that powerful interest what they wanted to hear. Senator Cruz also does not try to sound like something he is not. Trump cynically tries to fool the voters that he is a religious guy, and very pro-life, and then ends up embarrassing himself when his ignorance is exposed in public.

Why is this so important? Simple. When a politician is pandering to a specific group, even if hewas inclined to keep that promise, he would only be doing so, to curry favor from that group. The politician will easily change his mind, when a more powerful group with an opposing viewpoint, comes along, and the he wants to "pander" to them... (for example, in the case of school choice, the powerful teacher's union is dead-set against it). Ted isn't pandering, so his intentions won't be easily overridden. Couple that with his perfect record on keeping his word, and we are in business!

Cruz's unshakable support for Israel is also not a nod to the pro-Israel lobby. It flows from a firm belief in fairness and rule of law, and the commitment to friends and allies.

So, even if you don't feel like you are working for the federal government for three months a year, and you don't care for Ted Cruz’s 10% flat tax....and even if your insurance premiums didn't double under Obamacare (or you are on Medicare) ....and even if your deductibles didn’t skyrocket in the last few years.... Ted Cruz should still be your choice!

For the first time that any of us can remember, the Primaries in New York and New Jersey are consequential. Let us show our gratitude to Ted, for his unwavering support of the State of Israel. Cruz can, and B’ezras Hashem will, win this race. Let us do our “hishtadlus” to make it happen. Additionally, an outpouring of support from our community, will certainly shape the cost-benefit analysis for other politicians too, to be more positive towards Israel....

In your states primary, vote for Cruz like your life depends on it.... because your brothers' and sisters' probably does.

Important Shatnez announcement

Dear friend,

Hope all is well. 

I would like to share with you the details pertaining to the attached important Shatnez alert.

 

Recently, a woolen car coat with the brand name Baggio, was purchased at a popular Brooklyn retail store. Unbeknown to the customer, the car coat model # M23 contained linen taper reinforcements (shown below) thereby making it Shatnez. 

However, the content label attached to the coat stated clearly, "no linen inside". Additionally, he was advised by a close acquaintance that Shatnez testing on all Baggio garments is both superfluous and redundant as they are all "pre-checked". 

Nevertheless, being a cautious consumer, he did not rely on the information supplied by either the label or his close acquaintance. He brought his new woolen car coat to the Boro Park Shatnez Laboratory for testing. Rabbi Daniel Gurwitz, the director of the laboratory, discovered the linen reinforcements after a careful and thorough laboratory testing. Another car coat at the same retail store with the same model number, was subsequently found to contain the same type of Shatnez.

The Boro Park and Flatbush Shatnez Laboratories are therefore recalling all Baggio brand woolen car coats model #  M23 purchased from the Fall of 2014, including those that have already been tested. 

Unfortunately, this incident involving Baggio garments is part of a pattern.  Baggio woolen garments with content labels stating that they do not contain linen and sold by salespersons claiming they are pre-checked, have been found to contain Shatnez in the past. This has been documented with both men's and children's garments since 2004. Click here and here for links to Shatnez notices that addressed recent incidents of Shatnez in Baggio garments.

Regretfully, many garment consumers  continue to trust the Baggio label and faithfully rely on the assurances furnished by Baggio's salespersons. Consequently, a significant number of these seemingly negligent consumers unknowingly fall victim to actually donning Shatnez. Vaad L'Mishmeres Shatnez has spoken to the family of one of these Baggio victims.

Attached is a consumer alert regarding the current incident. You may also access it by clicking here. This alert does remind the consumer regarding the vital importance of having his woolen garments tested at a qualified Shatnez laboratory, regardless to what a label suggests. Please publicize, as you may be saving someone from wearing Shatnez.

If one has numerous untested Baggio and/or other woolen or linen garments, a Shatnez house call is strongly recommended. Please call Vaad L'Mishmeres Shatnez @ 1.877.4.SHATNEZ for more information.

Thank you very much,

Rabbi Moshe Bresler

Vaad L'Mishmeres Shatnez

1-877-4-SHATNEZ

R Shmuel Kaminetsky- welcomed with open arms by Rav Steinman and Rav Kaniefsky after publicly disowning the Kaminetsky-Greenblatt heter

It looks like Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky and his son have gotten away with the equivalent of halachic murder as well as the betrayal of Tamar Epstein and Adam Fleisher whom they encouraged to marry with a phony heter. The betrayal also extends to Rav Nota Greenblatt whom they persuaded to give the heter with a false psychiatric report and who now remains standing with the bag of smelly garbage and the contempt of rabbis around the world. Rav Shmuel is being viewed as a tzadik for his retraction - despite the fact that he has not apologized for the horrible slander against the first husband as well as the corruption of the halachic process. 

In short - the gedolim are sighing a sigh of relief after finding a modest fig leaf to welcome him back.

http://www.kikar.co.il/196270.html#

My rough translation:

Rav Kaminetsky has rejected the Heter and visited gedolim in Israel

The rosh yeshiva of Philadelphia recently announced that he was rejecting the Heter to annul a marriage and the woman is in fact still married to the first husband. Following this he visited today Rav Steinman and Rav Kaniefsky.

After a long time of turmoil and halachic discussion in Israel and the rest of the world concerning the bitul kiddushin in America - Rav Kaminetsky announced last week that he was retracting his support for the heter that he had given to annul the marriage. He said did this because he was accepting the psak of Rav Dovid Feinstein that the heter was worthless ...

Thus he joined the view of poskim and gedolim around the world that there was absolutely no validity to the heter. The most important ones being Rav Chaim Kaniefsky and Rav Moshe Sternbuch and Rav Malkiel Kotler who had written sharp words against the Heter.

As a consequence of his retraction in this matter he was able to have a private audience today in the homes of gedolim in Bnei Brak including Rav Kaniefsky, Rav Steinman and Rav Eidelstein

It should be noted that by relying on this heter it has created a terrible problem for the woman who remarried based on it because she is still married to the first husband. However all indications are that the woman is still remaining with her second husband - relying on the heter that had been given to her by Rav Nota Greenblatt  that the first marriage never existed - and he is still holding that the heter is valid.

הגר"ש קמינצקי חזר בו מההיתר וביקר אצל גדולי ישראל

ראש ישיבת פלדלפיה הגאון רבי שמואל קמינצק, הודיע לאחרונה כי הוא חוזר בו מההיתר להפקעת הקידושין וכי האישה אשת איש, בעקבות זאת ביקר היום אצל מרנן הגראי"ל והגר"ח (חדשות חרדים)

סערת ביטול הקידושין בארה"ב ממשיכה להסעיר את הציבור החרדי בארץ ובתפוצות. לאחר תקופה ארוכה של דין ודברים ומשא ומתן הלכתי ארוך, הודיע בשבוע שעבר הגאון הגדול הגר"ש קמינצקי ראש ישיבת פלדילפיה וממנהיגי היהדות החרדית באמריקה, כי הוא חוזר בו מההיתר שנתן לאשה לבטל את הקידושין וכי הוא סומך את ידו על פסק ההלכה של הגאון רבי דוד פיינשטיין הסובר כמו כלל גדולי ישראל שהקידושין תקפים והביטול לא חל.

במכתבו כותב הגר"ש קמינצקי "זה עתה קיבלתי פסק הבית דין בראשות הג"ר דוד פיינשטיין ובאתי בזה להודיע שוודאי כאשר הורו כן יקום וכמו שכתב אאמו"ר שליט"א וכבר מסרתי פסק הבי"ד לבעל הדבר שאין תוקף לביטול הקידושין כלל וכלל ולשומעים ינעם ותבוא אליהם ברכת טוב וה' יגדור פרצות עם ישראל.

בכך חוזר בו הגר"ש קמינצקי מהוראתו להתיר את ביטול קידושי בני הזוג ומצטרף לדעתם של כלל גדולי ישראל מהארץ ומהעולם, שטענו כי אין להפקיע קידושין ובראשם מרנן שר התורה הגר"ח קנייבסקי, הראב"ד הגר"מ שטרנבוך והגר"מ קוטלר שכתבו בלשונות חריפים כנגד ההיתר.

לאור ההסדר והחזרה בו מדבריו הגיע היום הגר"ש קמינצקי לביקור מיוחד בבתיהם של גדולי הדור בבני ברק וביניהם מרנן ראש הישיבה הגראי"ל שטיינמן,שר התורה הגר"ח קנייבסקי, והגרי"ג אדלשטיין.

יצויין, שעל סמך אותו היתר של ביטול הקידושין בשל בעיות נפשיות אצל הבעל התחתנה האשה  לאחרונה וכעת היא נשואה לבעל אחר.

האשה מסתמכת עדיין ככל הנראה על ההיתר שהעניק לה הפוסק רבי נתן גרינבלט, שהפקיע וביטל את הקידושין הראשונים ועדיין נשאר איתן בדעתו שכך היה עליו לעשות.

Shemini-Parah(chukat) 76 - The way we speak, P.M.I & CPS - collaborative problem solving by Allan Katz

  guest post by Allan Katz

The Parasha- Portion of Shemimi – Parah (Chukat) deals  with the Inauguration of the Tabernacle – Mishkan, the Dietary laws – kosher animals etc.  and the purification process using the Red heifer – Parah A'dumah . The features and characteristics that distinguish animals from plants is that they have mobility and eat  food. And what makes them kosher is that their  limbs are not designed for aggression – a cloven hoof and bringing up/ chewing  the cud as opposed to feet with claws or a full hoof  (kicking ) and a digestive system and teeth that serve predators and carnivorous animals well. What distinguishes man from the animal is sophisticated communication and speech. So a kosher man is not a man who puts into his mouth only kosher food, but a man who is also particular of what comes out of his mouth. The Midrash commentary on Parashat Chukat quotes Psalms 12 - the sayings of God are pure and gives examples from the Torah so man can learn to emulate God. Instead of describing animals that went into the ark as Tameih and impure, the Torah which usually concise and uses few words says that the not pure animals went into the ark, a more positive and finer expression than the negative description of ' impure ' animals. When the Torah in our parasha lists the non-kosher animals for e.g. the camel, it first describes the positive-kosher feature that it brings up its cud, and then afterwards says, but its hoof is not split encouraging us to talk firstly about the positive in people. The Midrash then says that the generation of King David suffered losses in battle because there were slanderers and people spoke ' lashon ha'rah. The generation of Ahab, despite being idolatrous, was victorious because they did not speak badly about one another. Speech and communication should make a positive contribution to people.

The way we speak impacts on our relationships with people and how we solve problems. The problem in our parasha was the dispute between Moses and Aaron concerning the sin offering goat for the Rosh Chodesh service. Two other goat sin offerings that were specific to the inauguration ceremony – the special offering of the tribal leader of Judah, Nachshon and one for the inauguration ritual for the Tabernacle were never to be brought again and were called kodshei sha'ah. The Rosh Chodesh goat offering would be brought at the beginning of each month was not specific to the inauguration ritual and was called kodshei olam   le'dorot. Moses instructed the priests – kohanim to eat the mincha offerings which were kodshei sha'ah and also the meat of the sin offerings. The question was - did this instruction include the sin offering of Rosh Chodesh, even though it was not specific to the ceremony and kodshei le'dorot.? The problem or Moses' unmet expectation was that the sin offering was not eaten but burned. Moses was extremely angry and criticized Aaron's sons (not Aaron himself, out of respect for Aaron) for not eating the sin offering. Aaron answers and gives an explanation which Moses accepts. The Sages say that Moses erred because he became angry and had it not been for his anger he would have been able to get a clear understanding of the concerns of the Kohanim and come to the conclusion that they had acted properly.

Edward de Bono's P.M.I tool helps us deal with situations when our  expectations are not met. In order to get a better understanding of what others are saying and be more creative and exploratory we should first look at the positives – the P, about their idea, statement or action. Then we can use our critical thinking skills and look for the Minuses, and then ask questions what will happen If... and make Interesting points or observations about the Idea. This is the same lesson which the Torah teaches, when it teaches us about the positive or kosher feature of the camel before mentioning the negative and non-kosher feature. It is very difficult to see the other's point of view and perspective if we are first use our critical thinking skills. Intelligent people are often non-creative and bad thinkers because they are only focused on criticizing the other position and defending theirs. When Moses heard Aaron's reasoning, he accepted it and did not try to defend his position.   Ross Greene's CPS – collaborative problem solving model suggests that a person with an  unmet expectation, whether a parent, teacher, peer etc. should in a non-emotive neutral way, just describe what he has seen and ask – what's up? So Moses could have just said – I have noticed that the goat offering of Rosh Chodesh has been burnt and not eaten, what's up? Aaron would then express his concern and perspective. The CPS model first focuses on the concerns and perspectives of the other person, student or child and then the  the care giver or teacher, parent etc. would put his concerns and perspective  on the table. Then the parties are invited to brain storm durable and realistic solutions that address both concerns and are mutually satisfactory.  Here we adopt a similar approach of Beit Hillel who first tried to understand the other party's perspective and learning before sharing their perspective and learning.

Moses was understandably angry, anxious and concerned about integrity and spiritual  perfection  of the tabernacle-mishkan.  The tragic death of Nadav and Avihu caused by them initiating the bringing of their own incense, an eish zarah, a foreign fire into the Holy of Holies was in sense a replay of the sin of the golden calf after the  receiving of the Torah on Mount Sinai. On the day of their death, Aaron and his other sons became 'onenim', mourners who may not perform mitzvoth including the temple service. Moses told Aron that as an exception to this  rule,  they were obligated to do the inauguration service. The test whether the erection of the Mishkan was successful and an  atonement for the sin of the Golden calf would be the Kohanim eating from the meat of the Rosh Chodesh sin offering (which was not part of the inauguration ritual) after the completion of the inaugural ritual. When Kohanim eat from God's table, it is an expression that God's presence resides in the Holy place and there is atonement for the people. Aaron answered that because they were special mourners, one'nim, they lacked the sanctity and holiness to affect atonement through their eating of the offerings and cause God's presence to reside in the mishkan –tabernacle. The deficiency was not in the mishkan, but in their person. As one'nim- mourners they lacked simcha – joy and sanctity which impacted negatively on their inner souls and beings and the ability to connect to God. They  therefore they could not eat from the sin offering of Rosh Chodesh as it was kodshei olam le'dorot and not specific to the inaugural ritual.

It is interesting to note that Aaron did not respond with a direct answer to Moses, but in a tentative way asked if it was proper for him as an Onen to eat from the Rosh Chodesh offering, and would God have approved of it?  The Telze Rov says that Aaron acted in the same way as a child should act. The child should bring a parent's attention to the Halacha-law written in the Torah by asking a question and not directly criticize a parent. The parent would come to his own conclusion and correct himself while his dignity remains intact.

We can learn from Aaron that the way we speak to parents is a respectable way to speak to all people including children. Communication and problem solving should be respectful and positive and focus on identifying the concerns of all and then brainstorming solutions that are mutually satisfactory.

Interruption of moderation warning: Will be in New York for next two weeks

I will be going to New York tomorrow for two weeks. Since Internet availability will be irregular my moderation might take longer than usual - particularly tomorrow.while I am travelling.

Kaminetsky-Greenblatt Heter: Rav Hillel David confirms that the Feinstein Beis Din was convened solely at the request and for the benefit of Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky - and not for any other reason

My brother just spoke Sunday night with Rav Hillel David regarding the Feinstein Beis Din and its ruling. My brother said I could write about what he told me was said - and added that it was important to note that Rav Hillel David was very open with him and very polite and respectful. 

Rav Hillel David was asked why after over a month of deliberations - no psak has been released to the public. He answered unambiguously that Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky had requested the ruling of the beis din regarding the Heter and that he was the sole person of concern. That what had been decided was not the business of the public. Therefore the psak was conveyed only to Rav Shmuel and his son.

My brother noted that the issue of the validity of the heter was in fact of public concern as are the associated issues as to whether Tamar is committing adultery and her future children will be mamzerim as many great poskim have already said.

Rav Hillel David repeated that the beis din was concerned only with the question that Rav Kaminetsky had raised as to whether they considered the heter valid. The beis din did in fact answer Rav Kaminetsky's question - and did not address the other issues. Because the mandate of the beis din was limited to Rav Kaminetsky's question - they did not deal with whether Tamar was an adulteress or whether she needed to separate from her husband. It was simply not their job. 

In short Rav Hillel David provided crushing confirmation of the worst conjectures concerning the Feinstein Beis Din. It showed an absolute lack of interest of the most pressing issues that this heter has raised regarding rabbinic corruption and the validity of annulling marriages. Thus instead of bringing closure to this scandal - it merely served as a ladder for Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky and his son to distance themselves from the heter. We thus have 3 major talmidei chachomim who failed to address the real needs of the Jewish people at this time. By ignoring the full ramifications of this scandal they have ended up participating in the cover up to just show that Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky is a tzadik who listens to Rav Dovid Feinstein. 

It seems that the Aguda has heaved a sigh of relief and feels that the issues have been properly resolved behind closed doors - and that it is time to forget and get on with life. 

But that is sheker and the matter has not been resolved nor will it be forgotten. This is a shameful episode that gets worse by the day. By Rav Dovid Feinstein's participating in this cover up, the Feinstein name has been besmirched

Learning a Mishna a day with your son

   Yeshuat Yaakov

Problem with Disqus: Comments are not showing on the Blog after moderation

 update: Just received the following information from Disqus which seems to have solved the problem

This is occurring because Blogger recently began using unique, country-specific URLs depending on the geolocation of the user visiting the page.
As Disqus is designed for a different thread to be created on each unique URL, this is causing new, 0 comment threads to be created when the page is accessed from any country where the site will not end in “.com”
To prevent this Blogger change from affecting your site, please follow the instructions here to prevent Blogger from creating new country-specific URLs for the pages of your site: http://www.labnol.org/internet/prevent-blogger-country-redirection/21031/

Have a great day!

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I was just informed that no recent comments are being displayed on the Blog. I have approved over 300 comments this week - but they do not appear on the Blog. I just contacted disqus. If the problem doesn't clear up I will drop Disqus and go back to the old system

Rav Avigdor Miller on the Divorce Epidemic

class #646, Mind of Control, 1:23:45

When the great dread day [death] comes, when finally Hashem says you are free, you are absolved, does the neshama feel relief, does the neshama celebrate that it's all over? Oh no. It's the yom hamara, the great and bitter day. Because our happiness in life is the duty of being in control. Ta'avah ni'hiya, when a desire is broken, is repressed, te'erav le-nefesh, [Mishlei 13:10] how sweet it is for the soul.

Disappointments when you accept that in good will, that's a great success for you. Success doesn't mean anything. Anybody can rejoice with success. When a person who keeps his mind calm even in disappointment, that's the person who is gaining shelmaius. And that's why HaKodesh Baruch Hu created us.

Life is full of disappointments. It's full of joys. If there are joys and successes we have to celebrate by thanking Hashem. Certainly we should [also] be grateful and express our gratitude for all the difficulties of life.

Here's a woman who had seven children with her husband. Then she put her eyes on a strange man. And she fell in love with a strange man. This mishugenah woman decides that she's unhappy with her husband. Now later she gets over this infatuation with this strange man. He goes away and moves out of the neighborhood. Now she's disillusioned with her husband. A woman with seven children. She lived like a Jewish woman until now.

But she has deep down in her heart gentile attitudes, attitudes maybe there's such a thing as romance yet in life. That's a gentile attitude. And she feels unhappy. And the husband is a hum drum husband, an ordinary decent Jewish husband. Maybe a handsome man too. But still you're accustomed to him already. He's too accustomed to be romantic anymore. And so she starts becoming dissatisfied. You know what she's doing? She's ruining her neshama.

Of course she's not going to commit adultery. She's going to force him to give her a get. She's going to break away from him and she'll look for somebody else to marry. She'll be disappointed. No question. The second time will be worse than the first time. No question.

But the breaking away, that's a corruption of the soul. Your perfection is to take what Hashem gave you (.... ) Cling to Hashem all the days of your life. V'dovak b'ishto. Control yourself. Squelch the imaginary romances that you think are waiting for you in life. It's all false. Make up your mind that what you have is what's good for you and people who live that way into their old age. No romance. Just live dutifully, live loyally, loyal to Hashem Who gave this to you. And don't be a nirgon, don't complain.

How long is life after all? The great day will come when you will finally be relieved then you'll say, ah now I look back and see how fortunate I was, I was loyal to my husband all these years. I didn't complain. I bore my burden dutifully as a bas Yisroel what HaKodesh Baruch Hu wanted me to do.

[1:27:36] Unfortunately today there's a rash of divorces and in most cases it's Jewish women.  Even the frum Jewish women are demanding divorces from their husbands, all over, everywhere. It's an epidemic and a tragedy of tragedies. They are ruining their lives, but most of all they are ruining their neshamas.

People are not willing to make peace with their circumstances. Say I'm going to live the best I can with the circumstances that Hashem gave me. These are the people who are going to succeed and they are achieving what's called shlaimus of parishas haratzon. They are conquering their passions. They are ruling with their minds over their emotions. And that is the greatest perfection.

See if you can do it with yiras shemayim, with fear of Hashem, very good. Even if not, any which way you succeed in living dutifully and accepting what Hashem gave you, you are successful and you live your life with a grand purpose.

Purim; Ester- The Daughter Of A Military General?! by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

 guest post by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

Historians have long struggled to identify Ester Hamalkah- Queen Ester...

Assuming Achashveirosh is in fact Xerxes, the forth known major Persian king, historians relate his queen to be Amestris- the daughter of a MILITARY COMMANDER, and not the daughter of Mordechai- a member of Sanhedrin....

The options that have been proposed thus far, are:

1. Amestris refers to Vashti

2. Ester was only a lesser wife

3. Historians got it all wrong

We suggest that Ester WAS the daughter of a military commander....

For questions or comments, please email us at salmahshleima@gmail.com

https://youtu.be/

Unprecedented: Father jailed for son refusing to divorce wife

Update: Supreme Court delays jailing father
ynet

בג"ץ עיכב את כניסתו לכלא של אבי סרבן הגט

לאחר שבית הדין הרבני קבע בצעד תקדימי, כי יש לאסור אב של סרבן גט בשל סיוע לסרבנות - החליטה שופטת העליון על עיכוב ביצוע ההחלטה, עד להכרעה בבג"ץ

 


update from srugim

Arutz 7

Tel Aviv rabbinical court finds father encouraged son to leave disabled wife without religious divorce, sentences him to 30 days in jail.

For the first time in history, an Israeli rabbinical court has sentenced a man to prison because his son will not grant his wife a divorce.

The court ordered that a Jewish-American tycoon be sent to jail for 30 days in jail after his son refused to give his wife a get. According to Jewish religious law, a husband must give his wife a document known as a get in order for the couple to be divorced. A woman whose husband refuses to do so is called an aguna [plural agunot, literally "chained woman"].

The ruling came after it was found that the father has discouraged his son from granting his wife a get for the past ten years. The head of the Tel Aviv rabbinical courts, Rabbi Shlomo Shatsman, stated that "The complainant's extended and brutal divorce case is one of the hardest agunot cases the rabbinical court system has had to deal with."

The court heard the story of a haredi couple who married 19 years ago and lived in the US, where their two children were born. About 10 years ago, the family visited Israel. During their trip, the wife suffered a severe stroke. She was left disabled and remains confined to a wheelchair.

After the stroke, the husband abandoned his wife and children in Israel and returned to the US. Since then, he has refused to grant her a divorce. He has ignored the Tel Aviv rabbinical court's ruling that he must grant her a get, and did not even bother to file an appeal.

The court tried to uncover the husband's perplexing motives. The court's aguna branch carried out a secret investigation in Israel and the US, and found that his father, a rich businessman known for his philanthropy in the haredi sector, is behind the refusal. When the husband's parents visited Israel, the court summoned them to testify and even issued a restraining order preventing them from leaving the country until they do so. This alone was an unprecedented decision. The parents, however, had rabbis and public figures apply strong pressure to the court in an attempt to obstruct justice. [...]
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srugim

מאסר לאביו של סרבן הגט, איך זה בכלל חוקי?

במבט ראשון אכן נראית דרישה זאת כלא צודקת וכלא הוגנת, אולם במבט בוחן ומעמיק יותר, ניתן להיווכח כי דווקא זוהי דרך הישר וזו התוצאה המוסרית והצודקת. עו"ד מוריה דיין המייצגת את העגונה מסבירה

פסק דין תקדימי פורסם השבוע בפרשת עיגון חמורה, אשר בה יוצגה האישה על ידי ארגון "יד לאישה", לפיו אבי הבעל ייעצר בגין סרבנותו של בנו לתת גט. נשאלת השאלה – האם יש בכך צדק? הלא אנו אמונים על העיקרון לפיו "לא יומתו אבות על בנים ובנים לא יומתו על אבות, איש בחטאו יומת" (דברים כ"ג ט"ז). כיצד, אם כך, מצאנו לנכון לבקש מבית הדין להעניש אב על חטאי בנו?

במבט ראשון אכן נראית דרישה זאת כלא צודקת וכלא הוגנת, אולם במבט בוחן ומעמיק יותר, ניתן להיווכח כי דווקא זוהי דרך הישר וזו התוצאה המוסרית והצודקת.

כאמור, פרשה עגומה זו החלה לפני למעלה מעשור ובמרכזה ניצבת אישה אומללה אשר במהלך ביקור משפחתי בישראל עברה אירוע מוחי חמור אשר עקבותיו נותרו בה עד היום. אישה זו, אשר נותרה נכה במחצית גופה לצמיתות, ננטשה ע"י בעלה שחזר לארה"ב מיד לאחר שהאירוע התרחש וזאת בעצת אביו, לאחר שהובהרה לו חומרת מצבה של האישה. מאז ועד היום מעגן הבעל את האישה, בחסות אביו ובאופן אכזרי, וזאת ללא כל סיבה נראית לעין.

במהלך העדויות שהושמעו בבית הדין עלה כי לא רק שהאב הוא בגדר "מסייע" בעיגון האישה, אלא אט אט התברר כי הוא הוא בעל הדבר עצמו. אבי הבעל הוא המושך בחוטים, הוא המתנה את התנאים, הוא הקובע את הכללים, והוא אשר ברצותו תעוגן האישה וברצותו תשוחרר.

בית הדין עשה שימוש בסמכויות המוקנות לו בחוק, שעניינן אכיפה וציות לפסקי דין שניתנו כדין ע"י ערכאות שיפוטיות במדינת ישראל. מאחר וכנגד הבעל ניתן פסק דין המחייב אותו לתת גט והתברר כי אביו הוא הגורם המכריע באי קיומו של פסק הדין, לפיכך ניתן להטיל עליו סנקציות מכוח פקודת ביזיון בית משפט.

אולם, מהי המסגרת ההלכתית והמוסרית אשר בתוכה פעלנו אנו כמייצגי האישה ובגדרה ניתן פסק הדין? הנה מצינו בפירוש הרמב"ם על המשנה (תרומות ו, ג) לגבי המסייע לדבר עבירה כי הוא בכלל "לפני עיוור לא תיתן מכשול", וז"ל שם: "והמתעהו והמביא אותו לידי מכשול, או שציווהו על העבירה, או שסייעו עליה באיזה סיוע שהוא.. עובר הוא על מה שאמר ה' 'ולפני עור לא תתן מכשול' אם גרם לעבירה, או שעובר על דבר ה' 'אל תשת ידך עם רשע' אם סייע לחוטא". במקרה זה אבי הבעל, הגורם לעיגון האישה, הוא בבחינת "לפני עיור לא תיתן מכשול" ועובר על איסור חמור.

 

Israeli Man Accused of Raping Stepdaughter for 15 Years, Siring Boy

Haaretz

Ashkelon Magistrate’s Court extended the remand of an ultra-Orthodox couple from Ashdod on Monday after they were arrested the day before on suspicion that the father raped his stepdaughter for 15 years, leading to the birth of a son.

A gag order has been imposed on the case, so names and details cannot be disclosed. However, the father confirmed that the son was the couple’s biological offspring, but said relations with his stepdaughter had been consensual and had taken place when she was an adult. 

The plaintiff, now 31, filed a complaint with Ashdod police last Thursday, saying she had been raped by her stepfather for 15 years, starting when she was 11. She claimed that her biological mother, who is married to her stepfather, knew of the sexual abuse and rape but did nothing to prevent it.

The plaintiff is now raising an 8-year-old boy and the police are preparing to conduct paternity tests in order to verify her claims. A police source told Haaretz that preliminary investigations show there is a factual basis to the complaint. He added that the parents had become Orthodox in recent years. [...]