White Institute Conference: Understanding & Treating Sexual Abuse in the Orthodox Jewish World

The presenters will include both expert psychologists and psychoanalysts from the Institute as well as rabbis who are experts on the halachic and theological considerations concerning sexual abuse in the Orthodox community.
 
Rabbi Yosef Blau who is on the Rabbinic Committee of the Jewish Board of Advocates for Children, and Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn, who has edited a groundbreaking book on Domestic Violence and Child Abuse that includes chapters written by several of JBAC's officers and executive committee members will join Drs. Alison Feit, Richard Gartner and Julie Marcuse in discussion and presentation of the complex cultural, religious and psychological dynamics involved in working with survivors in our community.
 
This historic event is recommended both for experienced clinicians who treat survivors of abuse, as well as for rabbis, teachers, school and camp administrators, victims advocates, community leaders and anyone else who finds themselves in a position to be of assistance to survivors of abuse.  
 
The Jewish Board of Advocates for Children is offering a limited number of scholarships based on need, for those who wish to attend but cannot afford to.  Please email me to apply.  Survivors for Justice is also providing some scholarships ---

Dr. Asher Lipner
email -  lipnera@gmail.com

Three Cups of Tea: Desire to believe in great men - the subsequent betrayal & shattered faith

Newsweek

I remember my first Mortenson Moment. It was a few years ago, in an old auditorium in Santa Fe, N.M., and I sat waiting with my wife and son in a large murmuring crowd. Greg Mortenson, arriving late, flashed a shy smile and a namaste sign as he took the stage. He had a bashful cluelessness that somehow made him all the more endearing. Soon he launched into The Story: How in 1993, he stumbled into the tiny Pakistani village of Korphe after a failed attempt on K2. How the kind villagers nursed him back to health with many cups of tea. How as payment for their generosity, he returned to build a school. How that one school became hundreds of schools across Pakistan and Afghanistan. And how, tonight, we could help him build more.

If Mortenson’s story—distilled from his mega-bestseller Three Cups of Tea—seemed smarmy in places, its pull was irresistible. Anybody with a heart had to be inspired by the beautiful idea that one man could make such a profound difference in such a hard and desperate part of the world. I remember thinking that this was not only a book talk and charity fundraiser, it was something akin to a religious experience—a modern-day tent revival. People had not merely come to listen, they’d come to believe. Mortenson, a son of missionaries and a nurse by training who by then had been thrice nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize (and whose books were required reading by the Pentagon), was a secular saint who’d seized upon a revolutionary notion that soared across conflicts and continents—the power of educating children, especially girls, in tribal societies racked by poverty and war. In our cynical age, he was one dreamer who seemed to give off an authentic halo glow. That night, I could see genuine reverence in people’s eyes and in the earnest faces of children clutching their jars of pennies. [...]

Addiction - does giving in sometimes cure it and is more economical?

Time

It sounds like an alcoholic's vision of heaven: a free place to live, paid expenses (mostly), and an ample supply of booze. But the reality of "wet houses" for homeless alcoholics looks more like hell, even as these programs — which take their residents off the streets — reduce costs to taxpayers and health-care providers.

A New York Times Magazine story slated to appear in print on Sunday reports on one such program in St. Paul, Minn. St. Anthony's Residence houses several dozen men including Dave, a formerly homeless 60-year-old man named who lives in a single-bedded "sterile 12-by-12 concrete room."

Hamas has taken over the Palestinian nationalist movement

Haaretz

The Palestinian reconciliation deal, if realized, heralds the takeover of the Palestinian national movement by Hamas, providing Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu with an escape from the rut he has fallen into because of the deadlock in the peace process. This is just what Netanyahu needed to unite the Israeli public behind him and thwart international pressure to withdraw from the West Bank.

A "unity government" or "technocracy" - as the Palestinians called it yesterday - is a nice but empty headline. In real life, there is no a-political rule and there are no egalitarian governments. There is always a ruling side with partners being dragged behind it. The stronger, more organized, better armed side, i.e. Hamas, will rule the Palestinian Authority and the PLO, not "technocrats." This is how the communists took over East Europe after WWII. [...]

Folic Acid Follies - dangers of too little & too much

Slate

No woman who's expecting, or expecting to expect, can avoid the advice, from any doctor or health site worth its salt: Take folic acid. The vitamin deserves its exalted status. When women take it before and during pregnancy, it reduces the risk of devastating neural-tube defects in the fetus. It's one of the only things we can do to improve fetal health that is supported by rigorous evidence.

But these days millions of women (and men) are getting high doses of the vitamin—and not because we're piling our plates with natural sources like spinach and collard greens. Since the late 1990s, the United States has fortified many breads, cereals, and pastas with folic acid. And then there are the supplements: both in regular multivitamins and freestanding folic acid pills. For pregnant women, the government recommends a daily dose of 400 micrograms in addition to any folate, the naturally occurring form of the vitamin. But millions of expectant mothers, as well women who are not yet pregnant, go hog-wild, taking more than 1,000 micrograms in pill form a day, an amount the government deems the "tolerable upper intake level." Somewhere along the line, it seems, folic acid crossed the line from vitamin to talisman.

Repeated sex offender suspected of assaulting 5-year-old girl

Haaretz

A repeated sexual offender was arrested Monday for allegedly sexually abusing a five-year-old girl in Holon while serving under house arrest. 

According to the complaint filed by the child's parents, the suspect approached the child while she was playing with friends in one of the city's public playgrounds.

A court battle over a husband’s rage & a wife who’d had enough

NYTimes

The morning after her nose was broken, as Mr. Sheehan, 49, was shaving, Ms. Sheehan, 46, shot him five times with his .38-caliber revolver, which he had left in the bedroom. When it was empty, she picked up his Glock and shot him six more times. 

The police arrived to find him dead on the floor of the bathroom, and her waiting on the porch with her sister and a UPS deliveryman. She was charged with second-degree murder. 

The case, now more than two years old and still at least months away from trial, returned briefly to State Supreme Court in Queens on Tuesday as a remarkable war was being waged between prosecutors from the office of the Queens district attorney, Richard A. Brown, and the defense lawyer for Ms. Sheehan. 

At the moment, she has been barred from presenting testimony from psychiatric experts about long-term abuse, but Richard L. Buchter, a judge who recently took over the case, has agreed to reconsider that decision.

Calling police - reviewed & approved by Rav Sternbuch p 109-111 in "Child & Domestic Abuse"

Consulting rabbi before calling social services or police
Despite the fact that the halacha is clear that a child molester should be reported to the police and in fact it is often required by secular law - the poskim generally state that a rabbi should be consulted first. It is obvious of course that if waiting to consult a rabbi results in danger or harm to the child - that the police should be informed without consulting a rabbi. In the normal case where there is time, however, why should it be necessary to consult a rabbi? Rav Sternbuch commented that where there are serious consequences of making a mistake - it is required that a rabbi be consulted for the sake of objectivity. Even if there is little chance of making a mistake, he said that a rabbi needs to be consulted “so the world should not be hefker (without structure and authority).”

In addition in this area besides the danger of misunderstanding information, there is also the possibility of false accusations. Students who want to settle a score with teachers or divorcing couples whose lawyers advise them to make false accusations to gain custody are a danger which a rabbi can help prevent. In most cases there is no danger to a child by consulting a rav first and if there is concern that there will be then the police should be contacted. It is always best to consult a rabbi who has a lot of experience in these matters and especially once who has close relations with mental health professions and government social agencies and the police. Even after consulting a psychologist or lawyer, a rabbi should still be consulted before going to the police. Not just because of the reasons already discussed, but also as protection against those who mistakenly consider all informing the police as being prohibited. These elements can not only harass those who go to the police but they can cause severe damage to them by their slander and criticism of the entire family.

Rejecting a rabbi’s psak when he says not to go to the police
One frequently encountered problem is when there is clear evidence of child abuse and yet the rabbi consulted says not to go to the police. He might say that the molester promised never to do it again or that the molester’s family or community or yeshiva might suffer significant financial losses or embarrassment. In other words if the rabbi is saying to sacrifice children for the sake of money or embarrassment or the disgrace to the community, it is clear however that this view has no basis in Jewish law. We don’t sacrifice innocent people for the sake of negative consequences to others. Rav Moshe Sternbuch commented that any rav who would say such a thing is not practicing as a rav. A rabbi has an obligation to provide protection to the victim. By definition it seems it is an unjust ruling. Any rabbi who makes such a ruling may be ignorant of either the halacha or he doesn’t understand what the molesting or wife abuse causes. Therefore if there is time - another rabbi should be consulted.
However an alternative reason that a rabbi might say not to report the molester is that he feels he can guarantee protection for children against the molester. For example he might threaten the molester with a severe beating or provides supervision or he claims the molester has repented and won’t abuse again. He might also claim he can provide therapy equal or better to a psychologist. While these seem to be logically equivalent to the police, the likelihood that they will be effective is not very high. Therefore one should find a competent rabbi who agrees that the police should be informed in the case of actual abuse. Rav Sternbuch commented that only a known talmid chachom posek can posken these problems.

Suspected rodef - defensive behavior when it is possible but not certain someone is a threat

Rav Yehuda Silman (Yeschurun 15): Question: Is it permitted to kill someone that there are doubts whether he is in fact a rodef (threat to life)? I was asked concerning a security guard in a public place e.g., the entrance of a restaurant or a mall who notices a man approach and he appears suspicious. The person is acting strangely and appears to be an Arab. When the security guard approaches him, he begins to run. The security guards suspects that he is a terrorist. This is only a suspicion since it is possible that he is in fact a Jew and there are people in the world who act strangely. In addition it is possible that the suspicious stranger is running away simply out of panic. However it is possible that in a short time the stranger will in fact cause a serious terror attack. Is it permitted to kill the stranger when the facts are not clear? This is a common question and a similar question can be asked regarding a bank teller who is suddenly confronted with a bandit with a pistol in his hand. There are many times when it is later determined that the gun was only a toy and even if it were real the bandit didn’t intend to kill but only to scare the bank teller. Nevertheless there is a doubt whether the person is in danger. In such circumstances is it permitted to kill him? Answer:… Conclusions: 1) It appears that we hold in practice that it is permitted to killed a suspected rodef. In other words someone who is doing activities that endanger others even if there are doubts. … 4) Therefore in the two versions of the question that were asked concerning a suspicious person it is permitted to kill him. That is only in a case there are valid bases to suspect that he is trying to kill. 5) In contrast in the case of someone running in the forest or is shooting and there are doubts as to his intent[ - he is not to be viewed as a rodef because we assume he has a legitimate reason for doing these things (chezkas kashrus).

Dangers of selling (giving away) chametz - actualized

 JPOST

As reported by haredi media outlets, members of the Mishkenot Yaakov community in the capital’s Ramat Shlomo neighborhood were encouraged by their Rabbi Simcha Rabinowitz to take the tradition one step further, and rather than selling the hametz, actually give it to the non-Jew, who would presumably return it after the holiday.

Many people chose to put their products – including expensive alcoholic beverages – in the room destined for the hametz, believing that such an act would be a higher degree of observing the holiday’s prohibition of not owning leavened products.

After the transaction took place and shortly before the holiday began, however, the gentile arrived with his vehicle and proceeded to take the goods, which were legally his. Objecting to his actions was not an option, since that would prove that the deal was not sincere, which would mean that the hametz would have belonged to the Jews.

Kikarhashabbat

תושבי רמת שלמה הופתעו: הגוי החליט לממש את זכותו
מקרה לא-נעים בשכונת רמת שלמה בירושלים, כאשר עשרות אנשים הפסידו את מיטב "חמצם", לאחר שהגוי מימש את זכותו ולקח את החמץ לעצמו ● בכניסת החג, הגיע הגוי עם רכבו והחליט לממש את המתנה שקיבל, הוא פתח את החדר בו הופקד החמץ של התושבים, ונעלם ● פרסום ראשון (זמנים, פסח

)

Hooked on Addiction: From Food to Drugs to Internet Porn

Time

America is having an addiction moment. Media headlines scream daily about new neuroscience findings on porn addiction, Internet addiction, food addiction and plain, old-fashioned drug addiction. As TIME's Michael Scherer wrote last week, 42 U.S. Senators called on Attorney General Eric Holder to increase obscenity prosecutions for pornography, due in part to fears over sex addiction. There's even a new online magazine about addiction called The Fix (full disclosure: I write for it).

But what do the recent neuroscience studies actually tell us about addiction? What is addiction really?

The Santa Monica bomber test - halachic clarity vs confusion

I recently discovered a very simple test of whether a person will report child abuse. Or rather whether he is so tied up in knots about the complexities of halacha and the horror of mesira that he would not call the police unless a godol gave him permission.

The test is the story of the confused Jewish individual who exploded a bomb at the Santa Monica shul and then escaped to Denver where he was recognized by a rabbi who then called his rabbi for permission to call the police.

The test consists of "What would you do if you recognized the Santa Monica bomber - would you call the police or call your rabbi for permission to call the police."

One answer I got - "You can't really trust the police - after all look at the harsh sentence that Rubashkin got. You have to consider all sides of the issue and a godol would know best what to do. Perhaps the guy just needed some therapy and understanding."

The test illustrates the need for our educational system and rabbonim to educate the community in the laws of pikuach nefesh and rodef. Issues which often do not allow time for a telephone call. This is no different than teaching the issue of pikuach nefesh for Shabbos. One case I heard was of a avreich whose baby developed a fever of 105 over Shabbos. He read through Shmiras Shabbos and concluded that it was permitted but didn't feel comfortable about calling the doctor. After Shabbos he went to the doctor and was told that his child was brain damaged. In a state of shock and depression he went to speak to Rav Moshe Feinstein - "How can this happen? I just wanted to sure to avoid avoid chilul Shabbos. Rav Moshe was very upset and told him - "the halacha is very clear that this was a life threatening situation - there was no heter of being frum at the expense of your child."

How to explain child abuse by Orthodox Jews - to secular therapists?

I was asked to give a speech at a major conference on the issue of child abuse in the Orthodox community. The conference is being held for secular  psychotherapists who deal with this issue daily. It will be in a month

I was not asked to speak as a therapist but rather as an Orthodox Jew. This is an interesting and important challenge since these therapists have a significant number of Orthodox patients and clearly would like a better understanding of the dynamics of this issue. Many of the therapists are Jewish but very few are observant. A number of them come from Orthodox backgrounds - but are now secular.

I would appreciate suggestions and insights which you think might be important to get across to an audience that will be polite  but not  sympathetic to the dynamics of the Orthodox community. What would you say if you had this opportunity?

===============

I'd also like to report  the fact that my books on abuse are selling in Jewish books stores without significant opposition - contrary to everyone's prediction.. Eichler's of Flatbush just told me that it is selling well and that they just reordered. The world has changed - but still has a way to go.

Rav Chaim Brisker - . Amora has the power to argue with a Tanna

 Contrary to the view of the Kesef Mishna and clearly at variance with Rav Elchonon Wasserman that the authority of a Tanna is that of Sanhedrin which an Amora can not reject. And also in disagreement with the Chazon Ish that the Tanna had greater knowledge of the truth than an Amora -  is Rav Chaim Brisker's view that theoretically an Amora can disagree with a Tanna but in general don't.

Rav Elchonon Wasserman[i](Kovetz Shiurim Bava Basra 170a #633): Rav said that the halacha is neither that of R’ Yehuda nor of R’ Yochanon. The Rashbam said that Rav was considered a Tanna and thus could disagree with other Tanaim. However Tosfos (Kesubos) says that R’ Yochanon disagreed with this halacha and since we have a rule that in a dispute between Rav and R’ Yochacon that we rule in accord with R’ Yochanon that means that Rav is not viewed as a Tanna and thus cannot argue with Tannaim. But this presents a question. How can it be that Rav is disagreeing with the Mishna here? This question I asked my teacher R’ Chaim Brisker and he answered, “That in truth an Amora has the power to disagree with a Tanna. This that we regularly find the Talmud rejecting the views of an Amora by simply showing that a Tanna rejects it – that is because as a general rule an Amora did not disagree with a Tanna. So if the Amora only knew the view of the Tanna we assume he would not disagree with it. However where we see that an Amora explicitly disagrees with a Tanna it is possible that the final halacha is in agreement with the Amora.”