https://mishpacha.com/side-effects-of-sidelining/
Rebbi, here’s my sh’eilah. Locally, there’s a Modern Orthodox school called Bnei Melachim. It sounds crazy, but my wife and I are seriously considering switching Shloimy to that school. We realize that it will radically shift the trajectory of his life, but we can’t shake the feeling that they somehow “got it right” in an area where our culture did not.
But first we have to address your observation… that the kids in the modern school seem to be more wholesome, and act with more derech eretz.
So it comes down to math: The more you are mevatel, even if legitimately so — the more you create an aura of negativity and bittul. Being cynical to a child robs him of his natural innocence, and implicitly teaches him the middah of bittul, and its sister, chutzpah.
But the more you move to the right — almost by definition — the more of society you will reject. Innovation and all nonreligious matters are regarded with suspicion, analyzed and critiqued. Secular trends, means of communication, and the like are often rejected… and for good reason. Thus, at the far right, chassidim will reject most of American society; moving “left,” yeshivish will be more liberal, and Modern Orthodox even more so. That is their respective hashkafah, and all are valid.