Are sons more desirable than daughters?

Pele Yoetz (Daughter): I have seen a terrible custom in some places that when a daughter is born that the people make a lot of jokes and ridicule it. One person says, “The cold is great” and another ones say, “The smell is overwhelming”. This type of “humor” is openly expressed until the person who just had a daughter born cannot find a place to hide from those pursuing after him with ridicule and jokes. This custom is totally disgusting to me and they violate the verse in Mishlei (17:5), “One who ridicules the poor has blasphemed his Creator.” That is because it one of the hidden matters as to why G‑d gives sons to whom He wants and daughters to whom he wants. Consequently one who ridicules the birth of a daughter is speaking against G‑d and well as transgressing the serious prohibition against mocking others. But there is something even more stupid and nonsensical than ridiculing the birth of a daughter. There are some insensitive and ignorant people that when their wife gives birth to a son they express love to her and greatly honor her. In contrast if she gives birth to a girl, they avoid her and basically abandon her – not even to see her.  How great must be his wife’s sense of alienation and grief! These are truly foolish people. What does he want from his wife? Did she go to the market to choose to buy him a daughter and not a son?  Furthermore what business does he have criticizing the private decisions of G‑d? Perhaps daughters are better for him then sons because of their mazel and their lot. We have personally witnessed fathers who have rejoiced equally for their daughters and sons and yet their daughters’ portion in life was more blessed than that of sons. Woe is it to the man whose sons’ accomplishments are more appropriate for daughters and even worse than daughters in their ignorance because in fact there are a great number of ignoramuses and true scholars are few. Great are the pains of the father of sons when they don’t make a name for themselves in Torah learning and service of G‑d. In contrast the highest goals for daughters are more readily accomplished since it is primarily to teach them an occupation and proper character.

Bava Basra (16b):A daughter was born to Rav Shimon the son of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi and he was upset because of it. His father tried to comfort him by saying, Increase has come to the world. Bar Kappara said to him, Your father has tried comforting you with a worthless consolation. Because the braissa says, The world can not exist without both males or females and yet happy is he whose children are males and woe is he whose children are females. Similarly the world cannot exist without both spice sellers or tanners, and yet happy is he whose profession is that of a spice seller and woe is he whose professions is that of tanner. On this issue of the value of daughters there is a dispute amongst the Tannaim. It says in Bereishis (24:1), G‑d blessed Avraham with everything [ba-kol]. What is meant by the word “everything”? R’ Meir said it means he was blessed with not having a daughter. R’ Yehuda said it means he was blessed with a daughter. Others (Acherim) say it means that he had a daughter whose name was “everything” (ba-kol).

Bava Basra(141a):  For R. Hisda said: [If a] daughter [is born] first, it is a good sign for the children. Some say, because she rears her brothers; and others say. because the evil eye has no influence over them. R. Hisda said: To me, however, daughters are dearer than sons.

שב שמעתתא (הקדמה ע' כא): ואפשר בזה רמזו בש"ס בבא בתרא ד' קמא ע"א בת תחילה סימן יפה לבנים דרבה לאחהא עפ"י מ"ש באבות כל שיראתו קודמת לחכמתו כו', וכל שחכמתו קודמת ליראת חטאו כוו וזהו בת תחלה היינו היראה סימן יפה לבנים היית תורה דרבי' ילבנהא, דע" י היראה התורה מתקיימת

Pardes Yosef (Bereishis 24:1): The Torah Temima (Bereishis 24:1.6) writes that in Menachos (43b) it states that Rav Meir decreed saying the beracha “Who has not made me a woman” and this is consistent with his view that a daughter is not a blessing. Rabbi Yehuda added that even though a son is a greater blessing than a daughter – that is only for someone who has a son. However someone who has a son also desires to have a daughter. Also the mitzva of having children is fulfilled only by having both a son and daughter. Others (Acherim) added that complete happeniness is only when the children go in the upright path. We know concerning Yitzchok that is says in Bereishis (25:19) that Yitzchok was the son of Avraham and that Avraham had a child Yitzchok. This verse tells you that all the fine qualities that existed in Avraham also existed in Yitzchok. However when it talks about the qualities of the daught the Torah doesn’t mention them. It simply says according to Acherim that the daughters name was ba-chol in the say one would say that a particular person has all the fine qualities. And thus he understands that Avaraham happiness was complete since he had a daughter with all the fine qualities.

Berachos(5b): ‘And that my bed should be placed north and south’. For R. Hama b. R. Hanina said in the name of R. Isaac: Whosoever places his bed north and south will have male children, as it says: And whose belly Thou fillest with Thy treasure, who have sons in plenty. R. Nahman b. Isaac says: His wife also will not miscarry. Here it is written: And whose belly Thou fillest with Thy treasure, and elsewhere it is written: And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold there were twins in her womb. 

Sanhedrin(100b): R. Joseph said: it is also forbidden to read the book of Ben Sira. Abaye said to him: Why so? Shall we say because there is written therein, ...  A daughter is a vain treasure to her father: through anxiety on her account, he cannot sleep at night. As a minor, lest she be seduced; in her majority, lest she play the harlot; as an adult, lest she be not married; if she marries, lest she bear no children; if she grows old, lest she engage in witchcraft!’ But the Rabbis have said the same: The world cannot exist without males and females; happy is he whose children are males, and woe to him whose children are females.

Berachos(60a): Within the first three days a man should pray that the seed should not putrefy; from the third to the fortieth day he should pray that the child should be a male; from the fortieth day to three months he should pray that it should not be a sandal; from three months to six months he should pray that it should not be still-born; from six months to nine months he should pray for a safe delivery.

Nida (31b): R. Isaac citing R. Ammi further stated: As soon as a male comes into the world peace comes into the world, for it is said, Send ye a gift for the ruler of the land [and the Hebrew for] male [is composed of the consonants of the ‘words for] ‘this is a gift’R. Isaac citing16 R. Ammi further stated: When a male comes into the world his provision comes with him, [the Hebrew for] male [zakar, being composed of the consonants of the words for] ‘this is provision [zeh kar]’,for it is written, And he prepared a great provision [kera] for them. A female has nothing with her, [the Hebrew for] female [nekebah] implying ‘she comes with nothing’ [nekiyyah ba'ah]. Unless she demands her food nothing is given to her, for it is written, Demand [nakebah] from me thy wages and I will give it