Friday, May 10, 2013

Cleveland kidnappings: Emotional Recovery Seen Possible for Victims of Prolonged Abuse

NYTimes   Day after day, it was his voice they heard, his face they saw.

He was their tormentor and their deliverer, the one who — at his whim — could violate their minds and bodies, the keeper of the keys and the source of food and water. His dominion was a ramshackle house with boarded up windows. His control was absolute. 

For the women he is accused of kidnapping and holding prisoner for a decade in a home on Seymour Avenue in Cleveland, their captor was for all intents and purposes their world. 

David A. Wolfe, a senior scientist and psychologist at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health at the University of Toronto, said that in situations of long-term sexual abuse and threat to life, victims inevitably develop complicated and ambivalent emotions toward their abuser in order to survive. 

“You turn the devil into something you can handle,” he said, adding that the first thing he would want to know from someone who survived such an ordeal would be “What was your feeling about this person during the captivity?” 

Dr. Wolfe and other therapists noted that all traumatic experiences are different and that many details of the women’s ordeal have not been made public; some experts argued that for the women’s sake, they should not be. 

But they said many people can and do rebound from even the most extreme abuse, aided by the support of family and friends, the use of specifically tailored therapies and the privacy, safety and time to digest and come to terms with their experience. It is important, some therapists said, that the women not be turned into a spectacle, their identities as individuals diminished to “kidnap victims.”
“We know that resilience exists and that recovery is possible,” said Dr. Judith A. Cohen, medical director of the Center for Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh. “For people who believe that it’s inevitable that a horrific experience like this would leave lasting scars, the evidence does not necessarily support that.”

Kolko case: Trial update


YNET   Kolko has denied the charges, which include sexual assault and child endangerment.

The boy's former therapist testified Thursday that the boy told her in late 2008 he no longer needed help with his social skills because had had made a new friend, Rabbi Kolko.

"He's my best friend. He's the only one who understands me," Dr.Tsipora Koslowitz recounted the boy telling her.

Koslowitz said she told him that best friends were typically around the same age but he didn't understand.

At the end of a therapy session in February 2009, she said, the boy told her he had a secret. She said she had another patient coming in, so told him to tell her father. She said she thought it had something to do with bullying.

But that night, she said the boy's father called her to say it was about sexual abuse. [...]

The boy took the witness stand Wednesday on the first day of the trial, testifying how he wanted to remain close to Kolko, even though his actions made him uncomfortable, because Kolko was his friend and he had no friends in school or camp. [...]

Women of the Wall provoke a riot

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Open Letter to Rabbi Dov Lipman : The inside view of why Chareidim don't want & don't need secular training for parnossa

Rabbi Dov Lipman,

With all due respect to your American "yeshiva" training (i.e., Ner Israel), it seems to have left you ignorant and unacquainted with the Israeli Chareidi world. As an act of chesed I have written this to help you out before you make another disastrous proclamation regarding internal Israeli charedi affairs.

It is obvious to any chareidi Jews that aside from the kedusha and avoidance of pritzus  - yeshiva education is in fact superior to anything that Princeton or Yale has to offer. Harvard business school graduates are no competition against an avreich who learned 20 years in the Mir. Everyone know that a yeshiva bachur or avreich does not need secular education or training. That is because the analytic skills honed by years of Talmudic dialectics - makes him super‑smart and super‑adaptable. Furthermore his daily utilization of multiple languages makes him readily adaptable to all language problems - including computer programming language. His intense interaction with people - with his many siblings and chavrusos and community in general - has made him a genius in reading non-verbal clues and body language. Thus he quickly picks up whatever language he needs and is capable of communicating in cogent, closely reasoned prose. In fact his skills are vastly superior to those who wasted years in college. The fact that he can't spell properly is no problem today with spell-checkers.

The fact he has no math skills and that he needs to count on his fingers and toes when he doesn't have access to a calculator is no problem. Everyone has a calculator today- including kosher phones. The more advanced stuff like geometry or algebra or even calculus – is no big deal. He just needs a week or two with a text book to pick it up. Everyone knows that the Vilna Gaon was a math genius and created Kramers Rule - without any formal math education. No reason that anyone else can’t pick up math when needed – why waste precious time from gemora to learn it?

It is known that the typical chareidi Jew can succeed in any field he applies himself to. This is obviously true because in addition to the mental sharpness  and knowledge of reality from gemora study - it is known that all wisdom is found in the Torah. After all what Chassidic rebbe needs to go to medical school before he paskens on medical treatment and operations? Even in the Litvishe world - everyone know that the Chazon Ish told brain surgeons how to operate. This surely applies to less technical fields such as psychology or business.

Furthermore even without being a genius - a yeshiva product has native cunning with incredible fast grasp of reality. A frum Jew has a major advantage over those rigidly trained in college by goyim. Everyone knows that those ridiculous theories of business, teaching or psychology have to be unlearned before a person can succeed. A frum Jew does not have all that nonsense to unlearn - he just needs to run the business. Everyone know about the Korean and Japanese who are dying to learn Talmud because of their immense respect and recognition of the superiority of the Jewish mind.

Everyone of us knows frum people who aren't very bright - and yet they are multimillionaires. That  is because we know the secret that money is not obtained by one's own efforts and talents - it is a gift from G-d. It is simply the result of bitachon – which we obviously have more of then non-charedim. All G-d asks from us is that we do our hishtadlus. Because of this the Chofetz Chaim told people not to leave Europe where they were starving and go to America. He said that G-d can give paransso just as easily in Europe - so why move?

We know that science and medicine is nonsense. Don't we read in Mishpacha amd HaModiah every week how a new scientific study concluded just the opposite of what doctors were doing for years? Besides Holistic medicine works better without side effects. We all have friends who who were cured after suffering for 10 years with regular medical treatment. A friend of a friend recommended a natural treatment that combined with avoiding sugar made all the symptoms disappear. Everyone knows that doctors are in it for the money. A person who is a tzadik has wisdom that transcends ordinary biology. Any frum holistic practitioner - who got his degree after a 6 month correspondence course - is the match of any medical doctor. We know that not everyone is G-d messenger for a cure - and it is obvious that G-d will pick a frum person rather than a mechallel Shabbos or a goy to bring about a cure.

In addition because of the close knit family and community connections – a frum Jew doesn’t really need to worry about financing. His father-in-law is always available to invest in a new business. He also knows he always has a financial safety net from the many gemachs. Besides after years of living off a wide range of government programs – he can survive with minimal income. In fact he knows his willingness to work for slave wages makes him more attractive to employers. His wife has been working for minimum wage for 20 years already – and they have managed. Besides being satisfied with little is a key Torah value.

I hope this has been an eye-opener for you. You really live in a fantasy world. Why did you ever think that a Torah observant Jew could work together with that kofer ben kofer? You also need to realize that Israel is not America. Instead of coming to teach us natives how to live - it would really be best if you joined a kollel for a few years until you come to understand how things work around here.

       kol tuv,
Daniel Eidensohn

Women of the Wall hope to avoid showdown at historic Kotel prayer service

Haaretz   Anticipating provocations by ultra-Orthodox individuals and groups at their monthly prayer service at the Western Wall on Friday, Women of the Wall have instructed supporters and activists planning to participate in the event not to “engage in conflict – verbal or physical” with any of the protesters. 

Ultra-Orthodox protesters have made a practice in recent months of taunting the women as they approach the Western Wall plaza on their way to the women’s section and jeering loudly at them during their prayer service from across the barrier separating the men and women’s sections. The protests are expected to grow even louder tomorrow, following the recent landmark ruling by the Jerusalem District Court that it is not a violation of “local custom” for women to wear prayer shawls at the Western Wall. 

As opposed to instructions delivered in previous months, participants in Friday morning’s service have been told to arrive at the Western Wall already wearing their prayers shawls. Until now, police had acted on the assumption that it was a violation of “local custom” for women to wear prayer shawls at the wall, routinely detaining those who engaged in this practice. In a posting on their Facebook page, Women of the Wall said they did not foresee “problems with police” this month.  [...]

An unusually large group of women is expected to participate in tomorrow morning’s event, many joining the service as an act of solidarity with the women’s organization, whose cause has become a rallying point for advocates of Jewish pluralism worldwide. Typically, several hundred women have participated in the service, which is held on the first day of the Jewish month, known as Rosh Chodesh. 

This could end up being not only the first but also the last time in the foreseeable future that the women’s prayer group will be able to hold its service without participants being ushered away by police. Earlier this week, it was reported that Minister of Religious Affairs Naftali Bennett plans to present new regulations for Jewish holy places that could restrict the right of Women of the Wall to pray as they see fit in the future.[...]

FBI claims right to read your e-mail, just like other federal agencies

ars technica   If we’ve told you once, we’ve told you a thousand times—the feds can (and do) easily access your e-mail. In fact, sending materials through the United States Postal Service is legally more secure than e-mail.

On Wednesday, as the result of a Freedom of Information Act request, the American Civil Liberties Union has published the first public copy of the 2012 edition of the FBI’s Domestic Investigations and Operations Guide. And this document clearly draws that distinction. The new disclosure shows that the FBI believes it does have the authority to open your e-mail essentially whenever it wants:[...]

Here’s what all that means: under the much-maligned (but frustratingly still-current) 1986-era Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA), law enforcement must get a warrant to access e-mail before it has been opened by the recipient. However, there are no such provisions once the e-mail has been opened or if it has been sitting in an inbox, unopened, for 180 days. In March 2013, the Department of Justice acknowledged in a Congressional hearing that this distinction no longer makes sense and the DOJ would support revisions to ECPA.

If that weren’t complicated enough, one United States circuit court of appeals decided that federal authorities do need a warrant before accessing e-mail. The case, known as United States v. Warshak, has created a split as other circuits haven’t yet taken up the issue, including the United States Supreme Court. (Google has since taken the public stance that it will follow the Warshak standard.) [...]

Stephen Hawking boycotts major Israeli conference

Irish Times   In a major victory for the Israel boycott movement, British theoretical physicist Prof Stephen Hawking has pulled out of next month’s prestigious presidential conference in Jerusalem.

Wheelchair-bound Hawking (71), who had agreed to headline the conference, Facing Tomorrow , alongside other major international personalities, informed Israeli president Shimon Peres of his decision last week. Pro-Palestinian groups said he took the decision to respect the boycott “based upon his knowledge of Palestine, and on the unanimous advice of his own academic contacts there”. [...]

Either way, Israel is not pleased. “This is an outrageous and wrong decision,” said Yisrael Maimon, the chairman of conference’s steering committee. 

“The academic boycott of Israel is outrageous, especially by someone who preaches freedom of thought. Israel is a democracy, where anyone can state his case, whatever it may be. Imposing a boycott goes against the principles of holding an open and democratic discourse.” [...]

Nitsana Darshan-Leitner, director of the Israel Law Centre, criticised Hawking’s decision, noting that the cosmologist uses Israeli-developed technology to cope with his motor neurone illnesse.

“Hawking’s decision to join the boycott of Israel is quite hypocritical for an individual who prides himself on his own intellectual accomplishment. His whole computer-based communication system runs on a chip designed by Israel’s Intel team. I suggest that if he truly wants to pull out of Israel he should also pull out his Intel Core i7 from his tablet.”

TONIGHT: Rav Meir Triebitz: Mussar Movement & development of psychological sensitivity

Rav Triebitz will be speaking this Thursday  regarding the Seridei Aish's discussion of the development of the Mussar Movement and Dr. Steven Pinker views on the reduction of violence and increased empathy. It will take place at 8:30 at the home of Dr. Baruch Shulem. I am sending out the source material to those who have notified me that they are attending.


Who does Rabbi Dov Lipman of Yesh Atid speak for? Part 3.


Guest Post by RaP.    Part 1 (February 14, 2013)      Part 2 (May 7, 2013)

Events are moving quickly on this topic. Rav Aron Feldman shlit"a the current Rosh HaYeshiva of the Ner Yisroel Yeshiva (NIRC) in Baltimore, Maryland, USA has issued a letter officially disassociating himself, NIRC and his predecessor Rav Yaakov Weinberg z'l from one of its alumni Rabbi Dov Lipman who also has his ordination from NIRC. On an audio recording Rabbi Feldman also condemned Lipman as a "rosha" (wicked) saying that Lipman was a "shona upiresh" (basically that Lipman had "gone off the derech" (OTD)) and compared him to "Amalek and Haman", see the post Rav Feldman says Rabbi Lipman's hashkofa's In return, Rabbi Lipman quickly responded (he obviously has mastered the art of rapid response, something perfected by "Team Clinton" in winning the media wars and gaining favor in public opinion out there) denying the validity of the gross insults ands asking for an apology, correctly so, but at the same time confirming that he is going by his own calculus with his own agenda, that in point of fact he accurately states he imbibed AS AN AMERICAN at NIRC, see Rabbi Lipman's response to Rav Aharon

It is very informative to read how Rabbi Lipman defends himself and how he justifies his positions, see the full article at Baltimore Jewish Life  that he addresses to the "Baltimore Jewish Community" and its worth an analysis:

It's now a "battle of the tapes" as an audio recording of something Lipman supposedly said became the subject of an audio recording from Rav Feldman posted online that denounces him. No actual discussion or meetings or simple phone calls have been made here. It is just one person playing recordings to another person who then makes a counter recording attacking the first recording, that then leads to articles and discussions online and in the media but so far the parties are not talking to each other but past each other. At times the Charedim scream in frustration and at other times they speak softly and make frightening declarations that are aimed at their opponents to dehumanize and demean them that will not solve problems but will only aggravate them. Nothing constructive is happening.

At least Lipman is honest when he says that "The [secular] Israeli government should not fund [Torah] institutions which don't teach basic math and English. Yeshivos which don't do so will not be closed down but they won't receive government funding." And as he rightly points out that "It should be pointed out that there are numerous yeshivos which already take zero government money and continue to flourish." The point here is simple and so far Charedim have not grasped it, THAT YOU CANNOT INSULT YOUR OPPONENTS AND THEN ASK THEM TO FORK OVER BILLIONS AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED! Charedim will have to stop asking secular Israelis for money and instead will have to come up with ways to support themselves independently. The Israeli government is a not a "frum tzedaka" it has enough jobs that it does for everyone, Charedim included, for free. It runs the army to protect all Jews. It builds runs the infrastructure like sewage and roads and lights and water and electricity and hospitals, it does not have enough to pay every unemployed person a full time "salary" for life for the best of reasons because that is a job for the Messianic Age (maybe) and there is just not enough money. Charedim must learn to do lots more good KIRUV and PR (just as Lipman has done for himself) to WIN OVER the secular Israelis to want to help them. So far all they are doing is yelling and now getting Charedim from America to join in the fray.

Lipman is not wrong in wanting to help Israelis learn something to get jobs. But who on Earth taught him that a bit of Math and English will help??? Isn't Israel in the Middle East?? Why not teach all Israelis Arabic to be able to connect and trade with the Arabs? What's so great about "English" of all things? What kind of "Zionism" is it when for so long Jews strove to learn Hebrew and now they should learn English? Israelis sound so awful when they speak English. It is just not their cup of tea. Why prepare them for yerida to America?! Lipman could help himself by saying that he is open to finding ways to help frum people get parnosa and it has NOTHING to do with either English OR math! The things Israelis learn and earn money from are stuff like truck driving, mechanics, engineering, computers and none of that really requires English it can ALL be learned in Ivrit. A frum Jew does not need to learn English or math to open a store, run a little business and buy and sell things. Basic arithmetic is part of Torah learning. Whatever else needs to be figured out there are gadgets that everyone can get. Lipman and Yesh Atid should stop pestering the Charedim and cut them loose. Stop focusing on them and talking about them. At some point it sounds like anti-Semitism to harp so much about what is wrong with the "Jews/Charedim" and it must stop!

Then Lipman makes his biggest mistake when his slip shows and he sound like the true Jewish day school boy from Silver Spring that he really is with his limited knowledge about the Torah world. No Chasidim and no Yeshiva people are ever going to limit themselves to "proposing that 1,800 elite Torah scholars per year be recognized as serving the state and the Jewish people through their Torah study" -- that is such a goyish idea and a suggestion that's just LAUGHABLE because no such concept exists in the Torah world.

Lipman and Yesh Atid have to realize that people are entitled to choose their own way in life, especially a religious way of life that Jews have practiced for thousands or hundreds of years. While many have become the "learners of Torah" many others become the "supporters of Torah" and this CANNOT and SHOULD NOT and WILL NEVER be put into "quotas" as if it was some sort of "think tank" since the world of Torah Judaism does not need the secular state of Israel to help it formulate notions about how to be better Torah Jews, it goes the other way around that on the spiritual plane the secular state of Israel needs the learners of Torah to sustain everyone and the world. Of course people should be able to have a decent job, but that is not something that either rabbis or politicians can force or legislate, it is something that SOCIETY effectuates and produces voluntarily and naturally and of course G-d Himself is the ultimate source of parnosa.

Lipman should have known that sooner or later he would be targeted by even higher rabbis, and it will not get any easier for him. He is right to protest the injustice of being compared in any way to "Haman" and "Amalek" and who can argue with his obviously painful words that "Comparing me or anyone in my party to Amalek and Haman who wanted to kill all Jews including 'children and women' is simply incomprehensible. We are going to help Chareidim sustain their families - literally feed their children - and we are compared to murderers???"

Lipman is right that he true to his creed and education at Ner Yisroel Yeshiva (NIRC) that was founded by Rav Yaakov Yitzchok Ruderman zt"l and where college education for parnosa was not only allowed but encouraged!!! Not just at NIRC, but at many other famous yeshivas such as Torah Vodaas, Yeshiva Rabbi Chaim Berlin and many others today there are the yeshiva students who attend college part time and become professionals down the line. BUT NOT THE CHASIDISHA YESHIVOS, yet they too, in America allow a basic amount of secular studies in the elementary grades, so Lipman is right and now wants to bring this over to Israel.

For a long time Eretz Yisrael has resisted this trend and fought it as an inroad of the Haskala. There is a cherem in Yerushalayim against such education signed by past rabbis. But Lipman and thousands of FBC=Cool But Frum Charedi-educated men and women who have gone to college are finally defying the age-old Yerushalmi outlook, the very "New Charedim" who are being feared, and as their numbers increase they will succeed in setting up the kind of education they had in America to help their children because you can't take modern American Charedim and tell them they must now live like impoverished Yerushalmis. That was an old approach up to about 20 or 30 years ago.

Finally, what should really be noted is his last paragraph that shows that while Yesh Atid and Rabbi Lipman have positive ideas and want to do good KIRUV it leaves the Charedim mystified and in the dark fumbling to come up with a yet to be formulated response to things like this that sound like they came right out of an Aish HaTorah handbook:

"I would have never joined this party without meeting its leaders first and really understanding who they are and their intentions. The ministers and Knesset members in my party have no hate towards anyone and are not hoping that anyone becomes less religious. Yair Lapid openly declared that the religious side in Israel has shown the secular side that our basis to be in this land is G-d and our Tanach. The driving force behind our policies regarding the Chareidim is to generate unity and most importantly to get Chareidim to the work force. Money will be flowing to programs to help Chareidim get to work. My dream is to see the hi-tech corridors of Raanana, law and accounting firms in Tel Aviv, and government offices in Yerushalayim filled with Chareidim. Most young Chareidi young men are not cut out to learn Torah day and night for their entire lives and this will empower them to be Talmidei Chachamim, Bnei Torah, and also supporting their families with dignity. This will also have an immensely positive effect on Israeli society which will finally see the beautiful values and people in the Chareidi world. My e-mail in-box is filled with letters of support from Chareidim who say they finally see a future for their children - they will remain Chareidi but also not be impoverished. I must also note that our party started the first ever Beis Midrash for Knesset members in the history of the Knesset. Every Tuesday at 3:00p.m. we stop our busy schedules and sit in a committee room and learn Torah together - religious and secular MK's. Is this a group of people who deserve to be called reshayim, Haman, and Amalek?"

Can anyone point out what is wrong with anything here please ???????????

The Charedim must wake up or they will be left in the opposition for many years to come with the only thing left to them is screaming and tantruming in the Knesset and issuing all sorts of Kol Korehs and declarations that do not amount to a heap of beans and that have no teeth to them.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Rabbi Dov Lipman's response to Rav Ahron Feldman's personal attack

Baltimore Jewish Life   Rabbi Lipman wrote: 

To the Baltimore Jewish Community:

I owe so much to Ner Yisrael and want to be clear from the outset that my words are not against the yeshiva.  Tremendous damage for me and the yeshiva has been caused by an audio tape in which I am quoted as saying something which I never said and anyone who knows me knows I would never say.  I was quoted as saying that "all yeshiva ketanos in Israel should be closed" and then for all intents and purposes I was called a rasha and equated with Amalek and Haman.  The following is what I actually have said and what my political party Yesh Atid is working for:

1) The Israeli government should not fund institutions which don't teach basic math and English.  Yeshivos which don't do so will not be closed down but they won't receive government funding.  It should be pointed out that there are numerous yeshivos which already take zero government money and continue to flourish. Adina Bar Shalom, Rav Ovadiah Yosef's daughter appeared before the Knesset task force to help Haredim enter the work force which I founded and begged us to implement math and English because 50 percent of the boys in her chareidi college drop out due to their lack of math and English.  I meet regularly with chareidi young men who are still completely in the chareidi world and they tell me that the one thing which is necessary is some basic math and English.  I believe it is a sound decision for a government to make and look forward to seeing the yeshiva ketanos flourish and continue producing gedolei Torah while teaching basic math and English.  Ironically, the basis for my supporting this plan knowing that gedolei Torah can still be produced if general studies are taught is actually Ner Yisrael which produces.[...]

Absorption of Ethiopians a failure: State Comptroller

YNET   Israel's program to facilitate the absorption of Ethiopian Jews within the fabric of Israeli society has been a failure, according to a State Comptroller report released Wednesday. In 2001, Israel announced a nationwide project aimed to help some 130,000 Ethiopian repatriates, the majority of whom made aliyah to Israel in the early 90s, to better integrate within the Israeli job market and its military and educational institutions. The budget of the nine-year program was set at $660-million.

However, State Comptroller Joseph Shapira pointed to grave deficiencies in the implementation of the plan. Thus, since 2005, ministries have transferred only an annual average of NIS 22 million (roughly $6 million), a mere 8% of the annual budget for the project. In regard to education, the report claimed a 2.3% percent of all Israeli schoolchildren are of Ethiopian origin, proportionate to the demographic size of the group. However there remain big gaps between the school performance of Ethiopian youths and their native Israeli counterparts. The average of eligibility for a matriculation certificate among Ethiopian students stands at 41%, while the national average is 54.4%. The gaps in rates of matriculation certificates that meet the standards of Israel's universities are even larger. The Education Ministry, in coordination with the Treasury and the Absorption Ministry, has funded a program offering Ethiopian students extra classes and preparation for matriculation exams. However the state comptroller reported only some 40% of the students eligible for the program took any part in it.

It appears that the Education Ministry failed to define the exact perimeters of the program, including teaching hours, the size of classes and the extra-curricular social activities. In the end, the program remained at the mercy of school officials and failed to meet the specific needs of the students.[...]

More than 20% of Ethiopian soldiers failed to complete their service in 2010 due to "serious misbehavior." Among the soldiers who were incarcerated during 2010 the number of Ethiopians was very high compared to the general population; the rates of absenteeism and desertion among the demographic were three times higher than the rate at IDF. Shapira wrote in the report the data should "light a social alarm."[...]

 The comptroller rounded off the report saying "The findings of this report indicate that, despite the considerable efforts of government agencies and the third sector to promote Ethiopian Israelis, the gap between them and the rest of the population remains a considerable one."

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Vilna Gaon's Letter to his wife: Mussar, beatings & sensitivity

Vilna Gaon
[...] [translation is copyrighted] I also ask of you a very important request. You should guide our daughters very carefully so that they should never utter a curse, an oath, a falsehood or words of strife. Rather everything that they do should be done peacefully and gently from love and affection. You will find amongst my books a number of Yiddish mussar books. The children should read them constantly especially on Shabbos, the special holy day, when mussar books are the only thing that they should read. In fact you should constantly guide them with mussar books. For cursing, oaths or lies, you must beat them and not show them any mercy. That is because, G‑d forbid!, for the corruption of the children - the parents are severely punished and they will suffer shame in the World-to Come. As it is written (Vayikra 21:9), She profanes her father. In a case where the child is wicked even the son of a righteous man is called “a wicked person the son of a wicked person.” (Sanhedrin 52a). this is true in other matters such a lashon harah. [...] However the most impotant thing is that they should not simply leave the house and go outside – G-d forbid! When they do go out they should be careful to honor your and my mother and all those who are older  then them. In addition they must fulfil all that is written in the mussar books. Also your children – they should live – it is important to raise them in the straight path with gentleness. [...] I have also left books for them. For the sake of G‑d guide them with good and gently. You should also carefully watch their health and make sure they have enough food so they don’t feel they are deprived. You should first have them learn the entire Chumash to the degree that they know it almost entirely by heart. Be careful that the learning should not be through pressure but with gentleness. That is because learning is not absorbed properly except with calmness and gentleness. As motivation you should give them money or other rewards. It is important that you are always conscious of these matters which I have mentioned and everything else is trivial [...] Amongst my books is a copy of Mishlei in Yiddish. For the sake of G‑d they should read it everyday. It is better than all the mussar books.  They should also read Koheles constantly before you. That is because it clearly explains the insignificance of this world as do other books. Nonetheless, G‑d forbid! – that they should view reading books as their goal because it doesn’t necessarily motivate a person to act. In fact there are many who read mussar but do not act differently as a result. That is because of what we mentioned before - as well as going out into the world without purpose – causes everything to be lost. It is like one who plants seeds without first preparing the ground through plowing. Therefore the wind and the birds carry away the seeds because they are not properly fenced off and protected. Some plant on stone. This is referring to the heart of stone that nothing can penetrate. It is first necessary to hit the stone until it shatters. That is why I wrote to you that you should hit your children if they don’t obey as Mishlei  (22:6) states,  “Train the youth in the way he should go.”  This is an important principle of chinuch.

Update: Rav Dessler correctly notes that the Gra is describing two aspects of hitting. One is a punishment - and that seems to be limited either as a last resort or only for certain things that he specifies. However there is a second aspect where hitting serves to teach the child proper midos of humility and submission to authority - which enable him to listen properly and thus learn properly. This is clearly the view from Makkos 8a

This is from volume 3 page 361
עי' היטב באגרת הגר"א ז"ל (נדפס בסוף המסילת ישרים) ז"ל שם :,.ויש שזורע על האבן, והוא לב האבן שאינו נכבס בו כלל, וצריך להכות את האבן עד שתתפוצץ, לכן כתבתי לך שתכה את בנינו אם לא ישמעו לך"' כו'.

- הרי מכאן ענין אחר לגמרי בהכאה, דהיינו לעשות לבן לב נשבר ונדכה. ועי' היטב בדרך עץ החיים להרמח"ל זצ"ל, בד"ה :ועתה נחזור לשורש הענין ,וד"ה :הנה התורה היא הנקארת עוז. קשה להעתיק כל אורך לשונו, אבל הדברים עמיקים מאד, ומבט אחר להם לגמרי, דהיי' שהכאת הבנים היא בבחינת הפרדת ערלת הלב ובבחינת חבוט הקבר.

Rav Aharon Feldman says Rabbi Dov Lipman's hashkofa is not that of Yeshiva Ner Yisroel or its former rosh yeshiva

update:May 7 2013
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Today's Hebrew Mishpacha (page 4) reports that Rav Aharon Feldman - the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Ner Yisroel in Baltimore - has rejected Rabbi Dov Lipman's assertion that his hashkofa views are that of the yeshiva and in particular that of the former rosh yeshiva Rav Shmuel Yaakov Weinberg zt"l.
ביום חמישי האחרון בעקבות פניה שהגיעה אליו החליט ראש ישיבת "נר ישראל" ומנהיג מועצת גדולי התורה של אגודת ישראל בארצות הברית, הג"ר אהרון פלדמן, להתנער מבוגר הישיבה לחלוטין.

במכתב שנשלח על ידי הגר"א, נאמר כי הישיבה מתנגדת לדרכו של ליפמן ולכל דרך שתמנע את לימוד התורה ממי שחפצה נפשו בכך.  "העמדות וההצהרות של ח"כ ליפמן אינן משקפות בשום אופן את הדעות והחינוך של ישיבת  "נר ישראל" או של ראש ישיבתה לשעבר הגאון  הרב שמואל יעקב ויינברג זצ"ל". כתב הגר"א.  "ישיבתנו מבוססת על היסוד שתלמוד התורה הוא ציפור נפשו של עם ישראלי,' ממשיך הרב פלדמן  במכתבו, "ולכן דעתנו שאין זכות לשום יחיד או  גוף ממשלתי שקורא את עצמו יהודי למנוע בכל  צורה שהיא את המוסרים את נפשם ללימוד התורה".  

"משפחה" פנה לח"כ ליפמן וביקש את תגובתו על  הדברים, אולם תגובתו לא התקבלה עד סגירת הגיליון·

Who does Rabbi Dov Lipman of Yesh Atid speak for? (Part 2) by RaP

Guest post by RaP.   See the new very informative YouTube video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5O-qinTh70 (6 minutes in Hebrew, but not complicated. Posted on May 1, 2013 by MK DOV LIPMAN himself !)
 
"Who does Rabbi Dov Lipman of Yesh Atid speak for?" was exactly the implied question of Degel HaTorah Knesset member Rabbi Asher who screamed and ranted that Rabbi Dov Lipman is "not Charedi" and should stop pretending to speak as a Charedi. 

It seems the Degel HaTorah people think it's their job to maul the Yesh Atid people in the Knesset in front of the cameras which only makes the Degel HaTorah people look bad and boosts the ratings of Yesh Atid.

Once again the conflicts between the liberal-minded Ner Yisrael (in Baltimore, Maryland, USA) educated type of younger disciples of Rav Yaakov Weinberg z"l and the Israeli-educated Charedim comes to the fore. Kind of like the Liberals versus the Conservatives of the Charedi world facing off without faking that they like each other. It is as if finally, after a very, very long time, an Aish HaTorah softy smiley kindly type of kiruv rabbi (which Rabbi Lipman was for a number of years) is coming face to face and confronting an Israeli hard core tough and gruff Charedi politician such as Rabbi Asher who was mayor of Bnai Brak and was appointed by Rav Shteinman.  

Once again, it is the Yesh Atid team, here represented by the obviously very sincere and earnest Rabbi Lipman who comes out ahead in the debate with Rabbi Asher of Degel HaTorah. 

The unfortunate thing is that Rabbi Asher launched into a very personal attack against Rabbi Lipman. He should have stuck to the issues and cited Halachas or rulings of gedolim, but instead he just bluntly tried to bludgeon Lipman into a pulp which naturally did not work, since Lipman is tough enough in his own way (his father was a US Judge don't forget so he is no patsy) and he has already been used to being physically attacked in Jerusalem by Charedim for his advocacy. Lipman on the other hand was OBVIOUSLY prepared for such an uncalled for personal attack at any time and whipped out a list of Torah sources and correct points in Hashkofa, while in the background the hard-core cynical politicians in the Knesset stood around not knowing how to digest such intellectual honesty.

Lipman is immune to Charedi verbal abuse just as he is immune to physical attacks from them. It is shame that Rabbi Asher wants to continue in the Knesset a style that has not worked in the back alleys of Jerusalem. More civility and KIRUV is called for, not more vilification and name calling!!!

The issues at hand, about women praying at the Kotel, is now moot because the Israeli courts and obviously some smart Israeli politicians have managed to stop this issue from blowing up.

But there was really no need to pounce on Lipman personally since it only makes him MORE popular. The real question is who gave Lipman semicha and is it valid, if not have it pulled, otherwise respect his credentials, and who allowed him to become a rabbi in the first place, if he is then he is entitled to respect not just as rabbi but as a human being. 

The answer is that there are in fact liberal American Charedim, they are even in Israel. These are part of the "new Charedim" that the old time Israeli Charedim feel threaten by them, but they will have to adjust to this new wave of olim and live with them not just try to trample them into the dust. 

Otherwise the old-style Charedim are going to be sitting in the opposition for a very long time and more people like Dov Lipman will win the PR war because they are genuinely nice and caring. They know how to do GOOD  KIRUV, and it's obvious that while Yair Lapid and Dov Lipman do not share the same religious outlooks and levels, in fact one is an American-trained Orthodox rabbi and one is a secular Israeli Yuppie TV celebrity, yet they found common ground in this NEW  POLITICAL  REALITY in which the ousted Charedim are still trying to figure out where they belong.