The relationship between G-d and the Jews is like a husband to his wife

Jews are like G-d's bride

Rashi (Bamidbar (7:1): It is written as kalla (bride). On the day that the Mishkan (Tabernacle) was erected the Jews were like a bride entering the chupah

Rashi (Devarim 33:2): G d went out from Sinai — G d went out to meet the Jews when they came to camp at Mt. Sinai — as a groom coming to meet his bride…

Taanis (4:8): On the day of his wedding and the day of the rejoicing of his heart (Shir HaShirim 3:11). “The day of his wedding” is referring to the giving of the Torah at Sinai.

Rashi (Shir HaShirim 3:11): On the day of his wedding – This is referring to the giving the Torah at Sinai when they crowned G d as their king and they accepted His authority.

Hoshea (2:20-22): 20. And in that day I will make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, and with the birds of heaven, and with the creeping things of the ground; and I will break the bow and the sword and the battle out of the earth, and will make them lie down safely. 21. And I will betroth you to me for ever; I will betroth you to me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in grace, and in mercies. 22. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the Lord.

Ramban (Shemos 35:1): And Moshe assembled all the congregation of the children of Israel — G d had become reconciled with them and had given Moshe the Second Tablets and made a new covenant that He would go in their midst. Thus He returned to the previous relationship with them and to the love of their “wedding.” It was thus obvious that His Presence would be in their midst just as He had commanded him at first as He said (Shemos 25:8) , “Let them make Me a Tabernacle that I may dwell amongst them.” Therefore Moshe now commanded the people all that he had been commanded the first time.

Maharal (Vayikra 24:10): As long as the Jews were at Mt. Sinai, G d did not want Mekosheis to die because He did not want them to be involved in death. That is because the time that they remained at Sinai after they had received the Torah was a time of rejoicing (simcha). This is similar to a man who gets married. Devarim (24:5) says that a groom should rejoice with his bride for a period of a year. G d had taken the Jewish people to Himself at Sinai in a manner which was similar to a groom marrying a woman. The halacha is that a wedding takes precedence over a funeral. Therefore it is understandable why G d did not want them to be involved during this period with the execution of Mekosheis. Even though Mishlei 11:10) notes that the destruction of the wicked is a positive thing — nevertheless it is not joyful. Consequently during this period of a year, G d did not want to reduce the joy by having them involved in someone’s execution.

Holy of Holies in the Temple is called the Bedroom

Chomas Anon (Melachim II 11:20): The bedroom - In the Temple in the courtyard there was a place where the Cohanim and Leviim slept. But a more correct explanation is that it is referring to the Holy of Holies which was definitely protected and no one saw it.

Rashi (Melachim II 11:20): The bedroom – This is referring to the Holy of Holies… It is called the bedroom based on Shir HaShirim 1:13), My beloved is to me a bundle of myrrh, that lies between my breasts…

Rashi (Shir HaShirim 1:16):…The Mishkan (Tabernacle) is called bed as it says "Behold it is the bed of Shlomo (Shir HaShirm 3:7). Similarly the Temple is called bed as it says about Yoash (Divrei HaYamim 2:25), In the bedroom which was in the house of G-d because they were fruitful and muliplied the Jews

Shir HaShirim Rabbah (1:68): Also our couch is leafy - This is referring the Temple as it says, "With his nurse in the bedroom" (Melachim II 11:2). What is meant by the "bedroom"? R. Eleazar and R. Shmuel bar Nachman gave different explanations. R. Eleazar said it means in the side-chambers. R. Shmuel bar Nachman said it means the upper champers….Another explanation for Also our couch is leafy. R' Yehuda son of R. Shimon: It is like a king who went out in the desert and they brought him a short bed which he found to be uncomfortable and cramped for his limbs. When he got to the city they brought him a longer bed so he was able to stretch out and loosen his limbs. In such a manner until the Temple was built, the Shechina was confined between the two staves of the Ark. However when the Temple was built the staves were enlarged (Melachim I 8:2).

Prayer is like intercourse

Baal Shem Tov (Tzavaas Ribash #68): - Prayer is a form of intercourse with the Shekhinah and just as in the beginning of intercourse one moves one's body, so it is necessary to move one's body at first in prayer, but afterward one can stand still without any movement when one unites with the Shekhinah. The power of his movement causes a great arousal, for it cause him to think: "Why am I moving myself?" [And he answers himself:] "Because perhaps the Shekhinah is actually standing in front of me." And from this great power, he comes to a great passion."

Keser Shem Tov (page 4a #16): From the Besht: From my flesh I shall see God (Job 19:26).113 Just as you cannot sire [a child] in physical copulation unless your organ is "alive" and [you are filled with desire and joy, so it is with spiritual coupling, that is, with regard to the words of Torah and prayer: when it is done with a live organ, in joy and pleasure, then you can be fecund.

Rabbi Pinhas of Koretz(Likkutim Yekarim): Prayer is [an act of] coupling with the Shekhinah.!" and just as there is shaking at the beginning of copulation, so must you shake at the beginning of prayer. Afterwards you can continue standing without any motion, and remain attached to the Shekhinah in great devekut .

Idolatry is like adultery

Hosheah(2:3-9): 3. Say to your brothers, My people, (Ammi); and to your sisters, Pity, (Ruhama).4. Plead with your mother, plead; for she is not my wife, nor am I her husband; let her therefore put away her harlotry away from of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts;5. Lest I strip her naked, and set her as in the day that she was born, and make her as a wilderness, and set her like a dry land, and slay her with thirst.6. And I will not have mercy upon her children; for they are the children of harlotry.7. For their mother has played the harlot; she who conceived them has done shamefully; for she said, I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.8. Therefore, behold, I will hedge up your way with thorns, and make a wall against her, that she shall not find her paths.9. And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but she shall not find them; then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband; for then it was better for me than now.

Pesachim (87b): After two sons and one daughter were born to Hoshea, G d said to him, Didn’t you learn from your teacher Moshe? Because after I spoke with him – he separated from his wife – and you should have separated from your wife. Hoshea responded, Master of the Universe. I have children by her and I can neither expel her nor divorce her. G d to him, “If you, whose wife is a prostitute and your children are those of harlotry and therefore you don’t know whether they are yours or someone else and yet you feel this way – then Israel who are My children and the children of My tried ones, the children of Avraham, Yitzchok and Yaakov (one of 4 possessions that I have acquired in this world, Torah...Heaven and Earth, the Temple, and Israel) and yet you say that I should exchange them for a different people!...


Chastising and education

Hosheah(2:3-9): 3. Say to your brothers, My people, (Ammi); and to your sisters, Pity, (Ruhama).4. Plead with your mother, plead; for she is not my wife, nor am I her husband; let her therefore put away her harlotry away from of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts;5. Lest I strip her naked, and set her as in the day that she was born, and make her as a wilderness, and set her like a dry land, and slay her with thirst.6. And I will not have mercy upon her children; for they are the children of harlotry.7. For their mother has played the harlot; she who conceived them has done shamefully; for she said, I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.8. Therefore, behold, I will hedge up your way with thorns, and make a wall against her, that she shall not find her paths.9. And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but she shall not find them; then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband; for then it was better for me than now.

Rema (E.H. 154:3): And similarly a man who habitually angry and frequently sends his wife out of the house. In such a case he is forced to divorce her because since he sometimes doesn’t feed her and he does not fulfill his obligation to provide sexual relations – he is a rebel (mored) concerning both food and sex (Rashba 693). A man who hits his wife has committed a sin just as if he had hit any other Jew. If he habitually hits her, the court should punish him, ostracize him and to beat him with all types of force as well as to make him take an oath that he will not do it anymore. If he doesn’t obey the court – some say that he should be forced to divorce her. However this is only if he is first warned once or twice. That is because it is not normal for Jews to hit their wives – it is what the idolaters do. However this is only when he attacks her. However if she curses him without cause or ridicules his parents and he chastises her and she refuses to stop – some say that it is permitted to hit her while others says that even a bad wife can not be hit. The halacha is accord with the first opinion that she can be hit. If it is known who started the fight, the husband is not believed to say that she initiated. That is because all women are presumed to be righteous. Therefore observers need to be placed with them to see who is the cause of the problem. If she in fact cursed him without cause – she is to be divorced and not receive her kesuba. It seems to me that this is only if she habitually curses him without cause and only after she has been warned as we explained in 115. If she leaves his house and borrows money to eat – if she left because of constant beatings – he is obligated to pay for her expenses…

Bereishis Rabba (Buber Version 8:3): And G-d’s anger I will bear. This is comparable to a hero who is capable of immediately killing another man with a single blow. However when the hero enters into his own own home and hits his wife with a single blow – she withstands the blow. Her neighbors ask her about her great strength. “All the great athletes have died from a single blow – how many blows can you survive from him?” She replied, “My husband hits the others out of anger and therefore uses his full might. However for me he hits me according to my strength and therefore I can survive the blows.” Thus it is with G-d. He says that He doesn't hit the Jews the way He hits the generation of the Flood or the generation of the Dispersal or Sodom or the Egyptians or Sisro...But regarding the Jews who are the Children of Yaakov He will not destroy them....

Shemos Rabbah(31:10): Another explanation of IF THOU LEND MONEY TO ANY OF MY PEOPLE (XXII, 24). It is written, Refuse silver did men call them (Jer. VI, 30). When Israel were driven from Jerusalem, their enemies took them out in fetters, and the nations of the world remarked: ‘The Holy One, blessed be He, has no desire for this people, for it says, "Refuse silver did men call them."’3 Just as silver is first refined and then converted into a utensil, again refined and turned into a utensil, and so many times over,4 are destroyed, they are referred to as mashkonotheka (thy pledges). ‘It is not because,’ [says God], ‘I am in debt to the heathen nations that I have pledged My tabernacle to them, but it is your iniquities that have caused Me to hand over to them My sanctuary. Were this not the case, why was I then obliged to do this?1 Does it not say, Thus saith the Lord: Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement, wherewith I have put her away? Or which of My creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities were ye sold, and for your transgressions was your mother put away  (Isa. L, 1).2 With Moses, too, did I make this condition concerning them; as it says, "If thou lend money to any of My people, even to the poor with thee, thou shalt not be to him as a creditor" (Ex. XXII, 24); but if you transgress these commands, I will hand over two pledges, as it says, If thou at all take thy neighbour's garment to pledge --habol tahbol "  (ib. 25).’3 Moses asked: ' Shall they remain in pledge for ever?’ God replied: ‘No, only Until the sun appears’ (ib.),4 that is, till the coming of the Messiah; for it says, But unto you that fear My name shall the sun of righteousness arise with healing in its wings (Mal.III, 20).

Tanhuma( Parashat Mishpatim: 11): [My Jewish Learning] A parable to a king who beat his wife. Her guardian said to him: “If you want to divorce her, beat her until she dies. But if you plan to return to her, why are you so beating her so harshly?” He said to him: Even if my palace were to be destroyed, I would not divorce her Thus Jeremiah says: “If you want to divorce us, beat us until we die, unless you have utterly rejected us and are angry with us beyond measure" (Lamentations 5:22). "But if not, why have you struck us down so that there is no healing for us?" (Jeremiah 14:19). The Holy Blessed One responded to him: "Even if I destroy my world, I will not divorce Israel, as it says, “Thus says the Lord: If the heavens above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth can be explored, then I will reject all the offspring of Israel because of all they have done, says the Lord”" (Jeremiah 31:36). "Rather, even so, I have set a condition with them, that if they sin, the Temple will provide surety for them, as it says, ‘I have placed my Tabernacle (mishkani) in their midst’" (Leviticus 26:11), [read this as] I have placed my surety (mashkoni).

Yam Shel Shlomo (Bava Kama 3:9): The braissa says that a slave whose term of servitude has ended because of Yovel and his master is urging him to leave but the former slave does not want to leave and the master hits him and makes bruises – the master is exempt from payment. The Mordechai (#35) as well as the Mahrich (Simon 3) say, ”This is relevant also to servants. And this is applicable if the servant is suspected of stealing and the employer wants him to leave before then end of the term of employment and surely it applies to anyone who has the reputation that he is a thief.” However it is not only in the case where the person is suspected of stealing which involves a financial loss. Even if there is no loss, it is permissible since a person can take judgment into his own hands (avid dina l’nafshei). The gemora which explains that the case is a servant who is a thief – that is only necessary according to R’ Yehuda. But according to R’ Nachman the braissa concerns a servant even if he is not causing a loss – the employer can force him to leave. It is just the typical case that a servant would not be forced to leave before the end of employment unless there was suspicion of stealing or other damage or loss. That is why the Mordechai says that the case involves suspicion of stealing…And even concerning any trespasser on his property - the trespasser can be forced to leave without requiring any other justification than he doesn’t want him there. If the trespasser refuses to leave until he is beaten – the owner is exempt from paying for damages. That is because a person is allowed to take justice into his own hands in order to save that which is his. Everyone is the sovereign of his own house and no one has the right to trespass against his will… From this gemora the Terumas HaDeshen (218) learns that it is permitted for a man to hit his wife when she curses her father and mother because she is violating religious norms and thus he is concerned with her spiritual well being. It is not necessary to bring her to beis din … It is not just in this case but whatever she does against religious norms he can hit her until her soul leaves. Even if she is just passively not doing a mitzva. Nevertheless one should not be quick to hit his wife but rather should try to correct her verbally. But if he sees she is not obeying than he can use physical force. It is not just in the case of a master and his slave or a husband and wife – the same principle applies to every Jew that he can you physical force against another Jew in order to prevent him from sinning. The Rosh (13) also says this is permitted. We see also in Erchin (16b) that it is permitted to hit another to chastise them. However this permission to hit another Jew for the sake of chastisement is not given to all Jews but only those who have a reputation for integrity that it is clear they are only doing it for the sake of Heaven. And he must also be a very distinguished person. But an ordinary person is not allowed because if so than there would be anarchy and society would be ruined. Every low life will go and hit his fellow and claim it is chastisement because in fact there is no perfect tzadik. In truth the Torah only gives permission for judges to hit other people or an important person whose words should be listen to – if he sees his fellow attempting to commit a sin he is permitted to stop him by hitting him. All depends on what the judges see fit to do. This that there is a restriction that only judges or very important people are allowed to hit others to stop them from sinning is in regards to mitzvos concerning man and G d. However concerning issues between men – for example if a person witnesses another person hitting someone – it is permitted for all men even the most simple – to save their fellow. To save a person from a beating it is permitted to beat the attacker in order to save the victim, as I will explain…