Education requires chastizing

 Shemos Raba (2:1) NOW THESE ARE THE NAMES OF THE SONS OF ISRAEL, WHO CAME INTO EGYPT WITH JACOB; EVERY MAN CAME WITH HIS HOUSEHOLD (Shemos . I:1): Thus we read: He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (Mishlei 13:24). Ordinarily, if a man's friend says to him: ' So-and-so, smite your son, he is ready even to deprive him of his livelihood. Then why He that spareth his rod hateth his son? To teach you that anyone who refrains from chastising his son causes him to fall into evil ways and thus comes to hate him. This is what we find in the case of Ishmael who behaved wickedly before Abraham his father, but he did not chastise him, with the result that he fell into evil ways, so that he despised him and cast him forth empty-handed from his house. What did Ishmael do? When he was fifteen years old, he commenced to bring idols from the street, toyed with them and worshipped them as he had seen others do. So when Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne unto Abraham, making sport she immediately said unto Abraham: Cast out this bondwoman and her son lest my son learn of his ways. Hence And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight on account of his son, because he had become depraved. And God said unto Abraham: Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad a proof that Abraham was subsidiary to Sarah in the matter of prophecy. Presently we read: And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread and a bottle of water... and sent her away, to teach you that he hated Ishmael because of his evil ways and sent him together with his mother Hagar away emptyhanded and expelled him from his house on this account. For otherwise, do you really think that Abraham, of whom it is written: And Abram was very rich in cattle, could send away his wife and son from his house empty-handed without clothes or means of livelihood? But this is to teach you that when Ishmael became depraved he ceased to think about him. What became of him in the end? After he had driven him out, he sat at the cross-roads, and robbed and molested passers-by, as it is said: And he shall be a wild ass of a man: his hand shall be against every man. Another example: Now Isaac loved Esau; hence because he did not chastise him, he became depraved. As we have learnt: On that day, Esau the wicked committed five transgressions. He seduced a betrothed maiden, killed a man, denied resurrection, rejected the fundamental principles of religion, and despised his birthright. Moreover, he longed for the death of his father and sought to slay his brother, as it is said: Let the days of mourning for my father be at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob. He caused Jacob to flee from his father's home and he also went to Ishmael to learn of him evil ways and to get more wives, as it is said: So Esau went unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives that he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebaioth, to be his wife. Similarly, because David did not rebuke or chastise his son Absalom, he fell into evil ways, seeking to slay his father, sleeping with his concubines, and becoming the cause of his wandering bare-footed and weeping, and of the slaughter of many thousands and tens of thousands of Israelites, as well as of other sorrows without end. For it is written: A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son and is followed by:Lord, how many are mine adversaries become!. Depravity in a man's family is more grievous even than the war of Gog and Magog!; for whereas in reference to the war of Gog and Magog it is written: Why are the nations in an uproar  , in the case of Absalom it says: How many are mine adversaries. David treated Adonijah in a similar fashion, neither rebuking nor punishing him, and therefore he became depraved, as it is written: And his father had not grieved him all his life in saying: Why hast thou done so. And he was born after Absalom. Was not Absalom the son of Maachah, and Adonijah the son of Haggith? Then why And he was born after Absalom’? Only to show us that because Absalom had become corrupt on account of his father's failure to chastise him, while in the case of Adonijah we are told: ’And his father had not grieved him all his life,’ therefore he also became corrupt. On this account does it say: ’And he was born after Absalom. But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. This refers to G-d; because of His love for Israel, as it is written: I have loved you, saith the Lord, doth He heap upon them chastisements. You will find that the three precious gifts which God gave unto Israel were all given after much suffering: The Torah, Eretz Israel, and the Life to Come. The Torah, for it is written: Happy is the man whom Thou chastisest, O Lord, and teachest out of Thy Law. Eretz Israel,-for it is written: And thou shalt consider in thy heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee, and see what is written after this: For the Lord thy God bringeth thee into a good land. ' The Life to Come, -for it is written: For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light, and reproofs of instruction arethe way of life. But a father who chastises his son causes the son to have additional love for him and he honours him, as it is said: Correct thy son and he will give thee rest; yea, he will give delight unto thy soul, and it also says: Chasten thy son, for there is hope. He will increase the son's love for him, for it is said ’But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes; because he chasteneth him betimes, therefore doth he love him. You will find that Abraham chastened Isaac his son, and taught him Torah and to walk in his ways, for in reference to Abraham, it says:Because that Abraham hearkened to My voice, and it is written: And these are the generations of Isaac, Abraham's son: Abraham begot Isaac, to teach you that he was like his father in all things: in beauty, wisdom, riches, and good deeds. You must know that Isaac was thirty-seven years old when his father was about to sacrifice him, yet though it says: And Abraham was old and advanced in years  he bound him like a lamb and he did not restrain him; therefore And Avraham gave an that he had unto Isaac -a proof that He loveth him who chasteneth him betimes . Similarly, Isaac used to chasten Jacob betimes, for Isaac taught him Torah and rebuked him in the schoolhouse, as it is said: And Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. He learnt all that his father taught him and then separated from his father, and secluded himself in the house of Eber to study Torah; therefore did he merit the blessing, and inherited the land, as it is said: And Jacob dwelt in the land of his father's sojournings, in the land of Canaan.Also Jacob, our ancestor, chastised his children and taught them of his ways, so that no dross should be in them; for thus it is written: NOW THESE ARE THE NAMES OF THE SONS OF ISRAEL, WHO CAME INTO EGYPT WITH JACOB. comparing them all to Jacob, because all of them were as righteous as he-a proof that ’He that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.