From my book Child and Domestic abuse vol II
There was a very well known kiruv personality. Perhaps you could say that he was a poster boy for kiruv. Warm and wise and very articulate in expressing the wisdom of the Torah. He was much in demand as a speaker - and as a consequence he spent much time flying between speaking engagement. Wherever he went he brought the light of Torah. It warmed his heart to see all the people he was influencing and he was a role model of humility and service of G-d. One day he was flying the long and boring stretch across the Atlantic when the stewardess asked him if he needed anything. He suspected that she might be Jewish so he engaged her in light banter – hoping to influence her to become more religiously observant. He stated in a joking tone that he was an outreach rabbi and that she probably should avoid him since he was a fundamentalist ultra-orthodox rabbi. She had never met such a charming and intelligent religious fanatic so she decided to play along. It turns out she wasn't Jewish - but she really enjoyed the discussion. The conversation deepened and she was really taken with this man. There was something about him that was different than all the men she had ever met. He of course told himself that he was motivated solely by altruistic reasons. The fact that she was stunningly beautiful and was quite intelligent and asked really good questions – simply made it a more interesting challenge. By the end of the flight they exchanged phone numbers and promised to stay in contact.
To make a long story short - he realized that she really made him feel alive. It was a wondrous thing watching her come up with a really deep question about the Ramchal that he had told her and the joy on her face when he took the question and connected it with Chassidic stories and Kabbala. It was an amazing thing realizing how much this beautiful woman benefited from everything he said. He realized that he once had that relationship with his wife of 20 years - but they hadn't had a deeper issue than who was coming for Shabbos - for at least 10 years. Besides his wife wasn't so beautiful anymore.
After much soul searching he realized that for the sake of his spirituality and hers he needed to drop his wife and marry her. The stewardess had readily agreed to convert - to marry him. Nonetheless it wasn't easy breaking his wife's heart and destroying his kids - but he was willing to make the sacrifice for the sake of G-d. After all isn’t spiritual growth the prime value? Besides all his wife could do was have babies and keep house. His interaction with this stewardess pushed him to spiritual heights and understanding. He just couldn't believe the profound Torah insights coming out of his mouth when he spoke with her. He decided he would abandon his family. He was young enough to start over again with a new family.
He did in fact divorce his wife, the stewardess converted and they married. Of course his former wife, family and community were totally devastated. But he moved elsewhere and is happily starting life over again with his beautiful student – purely for the sake of Heaven of course.
There is a long history of clerics abusing their power. Kiruv is just one angle.
ReplyDeleteOne gem of chassidus I remember from lubavitch (unless it's a g"mara) was that the heart desires, the eyes see, and again the heart desires. In other words, the flaw and yetzer were there, the incident was just the catalyst or opportunity to turn the desire to action.
Was kiruv his Achilles heel, or his marriage?
There's an old Bryan Adams song like this called "Run To You"
ReplyDeletePerhaps it never occurred to this fine Rav that perhaps he should take the elevated feeling he had when talking with this shiksa and try to restore it in his marriage?
Is that the same poster boy you posted about last week?
ReplyDeleteWhen rabbis teach kabbalah to dazzle men and women, and they get money and /or sex in return, it brings to mind one of 2 historical characters:
Shabbetai zvi and Jacob Frank.
no
ReplyDelete