Ezer kenegdo - Netziv

Netziv (Bereishis 02:18.1)Ezer Kenegdo – We discussed the plain meaning. There is a well known medrash that Rashi cites which interprets this phrase to mean if he is deserving she will help him but if not she will be opposed to him. However even according to this medrash the wife as not created  to distress him so how is it possible to understand this phrase as being either a helper or opponent? It means the she should provide helpful opposition. For example if a person is prone to show anger and upset. If his wife supports and encourages him in this, even though at the time of anger he enjoys her agreement and support but later when he calms down he will be upset that his wife added fire and wood to his anger and upset and thus she actually was detrimental(kenegdo). In contrast if she would have opposed him initially and attempted to calm and placate him, even though it appears at that moment as opposition but she is in fact providing him with true help. The same can be said with all his other traits.Thus the meaning of ezer kenegdo is she should provide him with helpful opposition