Chinuch (#579): Divorce requires a document: ....The basis of this mitzva is that since a woman was created to help her husband and she is to him like an desirable utensil. A similar idea is expressed in Sanhedrin (22b), A woman does not make a covenant except with one who makes her into a utensil. Since a woman is there to serve a purpose, it is the will of G d that when he is disgusted with this utensil he should remove it from his house. Because of this reason there are some of our Sages who say in Gittin (90a) that even if she burns his food he is able to divorce her i.e., for a trivial matter since she is nothing but a valued utensil in his house. However others Sages say that since she is in G-d’s form and image and G-d prepared her for her husband’s needs and honor – with eyes to see and ears to hear and intelligence – it is not right to reject her and send out of his house except for a major reason. This is as the verse says, “Because he found in her ervas davar (something disgusting).” Nevertheless according to all the Sages, if he finds some major problem with her it is correct to divorce her. That is because of the reason I mentioned, that she was only created for his sake. And since she is causing him upset and he is disgusted with her there is no necessity for him to remain with her. The Jewish approach is not that of some of the non-Jews who make a strong binding commitment to marriage that is only ended by death. A man should not be afraid to divorce his wife if she does something repellent and destroys all that is in the house and burns down all of his possessions. However the Torah commands that when she is sent away that it shouldn't be done by words alone because this can lead to much trouble and immorality in our society. Because a wife who is committing adultery could simply claim that she was already divorced. In addition if divorce is too easy to do then it becomes very common. Consequently the Torah requires that a divorce be based on a written document and that there be witnesses who testify and that all those who claim to be divorced can show it. An additional advantage of a complicated written procedure over an oral agreement is that the delay and effort can cause the man’s anger to dissipate sometimes and he will decide not to divorce his wife and great is peace...
At least he writes that she is in G-d's form.
ReplyDeleteYour headline for this article is a complete distortion of the Chinuch's opinion.
ReplyDeleteIt reflects one opinion, which we do not follow. The Chinuch does NOT conclude "A man should divorce his wife when she is no longer is useful to him".
no
ReplyDeletehe indicates the dispute is the question of how seriously she is not useful to him
The conclusion is that divorce is for 'a major problem with her'. Not 'lack of use to him'. Two very different things. The example given is burns the house down and similar.
ReplyDeleteJust because a wife is of no use now, who knows what the future will bring? A bit short termist to divorce because a wife is currently not 'useful'.
Rabbenu Gershom made a cherem against divorcing against her will. It is inconceivable that he would make a cherem against doing something the Torah encourages.
ReplyDeleteI believe the Chinuch is not teaching what a man should do when he no longer finds his wife useful. There is no opinion that if she burns his food there is a mitzva to divorce.
Rather, he is explaining the rationale behind the Torah's granting a husband the right to divorce (as opposed to other legal systems, where either or none have this right). היה מרצונו ית' שכל זמן שיקוץ נפשו בכלי הזה שיוציאנו מביתו means: Hashem wanted that should he encounter such a situation he should have the ability to divorce. The moral basis for this right, says the Chinuch, is because she was created for him.
"A man should not be afraid to divorce his wife if she does something repellent and destroys all that is in the house and burns down all of his possessions." Well... if no adultery is involved, nowadays this can be approached in a different manner, because this woman needs medical treatment, a retreat in a mental facility or anti-depressants...
ReplyDeleteAre you sure it is "should" (divorce his wife when she is no longer useful) and not "may"??? Is it really a mitzwah to divorce a wife when she burns the dinner?
ReplyDeleteThe Torah encourages polygamy but R. Gershom placed a cherem on this. Married for life at all cost and monogamy fall in the realm of chasidut, according to the torah.
ReplyDeleteYou should be a Headline write for a Newspaper. A "Major Problem," "Disgust," "Burning down his house," become "when she is no longer useful."
ReplyDeleteVery strange. Indeed, Disgust usually will make her no longer useful, but no longer useful does not indicate Disgust.
Where does the Torah "encourage" polygamy? As far as I've learned polygamy was not the optimum course for Jewish people (see תרגום רות ד ו ). Almost none of our role models throughout history (including tanaim and amoraim) - besides kings - had more than one wife
ReplyDeleteThere is a big difference between encouraging and allowing.
Rabbenu Gershom made a cherem on things that the Torah allowed, but would not make cheren on something it encourages. So if the Torah would encourage people to get rid of their wife when she's no longer useful, why would Rabbenu Gershom place a cherem on divorcing without her consent?
OK fellas, let me represent the theme, if I may: Mesechta Gittin 90b: Bais Shammai say: A man should not divorce his wife unless he found in her an "ervas dovor" (adultery related, Bais Hillel say: even if she burned his meal, Rabbi Akiva says: even if he found someone prettier.
ReplyDeleteNow let the fun begin. ...