The nature of this holiness (kedusha) that we have been commanded is avoidance (prishus). In other words a person needs to protect himself from sin and lusts by avoiding even that which the Torah permits – as our Sages said, “Sanctify yourself even with that which is permitted to you.” Thus concerning eating and drinking – he should eat and drink less then what he wants – just enough to sustain his body. He should engage in sexual intercourse only for the purpose of procreation, or for his wife’s conjugal rights (onah) or to prevent sinful thoughts. All other motivations are prohibited by the Torah. Similarly in regard to speech he should restrict himself to speak only after careful deliberation and less then is necessary. Except for that which is necessary for his spiritual well-being such as talking matters of Torah or those required for his physical needs such as his livelihood and sustenance. One should also restrain himself concerning touching any part of his body with his bare hands – especially below his belt. It was because of exercising restraint in not touching his lower body that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was called the Holy Rabbi as is stated in Shabbos (58b). All these restraints are part of being holy and self-restrained (prishus).
And thus our Sages explained in Toras Cohanim, “And you shall sanctify yourselves become holy (Vayikra 11:44). This verse teaches that just as G-d is holy so should you be holy. Just as G-d shows self-restraint you should also show self-restraint." Thus holiness is defined as one who is separated and restrained from lust and he is fully focused on serving G-d. Thus there is a great benefit and need for the Torah to write “And you shall sanctify yourselves and become holy.” Because if it hadn’t been written, a person would simply gorge himself on food and drink – because they would have been unconditionally permitted. He would have eaten and enjoyed all things which taste good – simply because they are pleasurable. Similarly with speech - he would have uttered all the thoughts that came to mind. The lack of restriction would result in his becoming disgusting with all types of bad habits such as being a unrestrained glutton, or alcoholic – all because there would have been no restriction in the Torah concerning pleasure. Consequently this mitzva of being holy is stated after the listing of prohibited foods in the Torah. This teaches us that being holy means that a person not only must avoid prohibited food but even eating permitted food is only according to what he genuine needs - not solely because they give him pleasure. Therefore this mitzva of being holy comes in the section of prohibited foods to tell you a person needs to restrain himself in eating – and surely if the food itself is prohibited - because restraint in avoiding permitted food is also necessary. So if a person who avoids consuming prohibited foods is called holy, then surely one who restrains himself in eating that which is permitted is called holy. Because a person needs to subjugate and break his lusts and destroys his desires in the mortar of his intellect for the honor of G-d his Creator.[…]
The first two words seem to be a typo: "A G d dreaded"
ReplyDeleteAnd the Yerushalmi which says we are brought to account for the permitted pleasures we forego?
ReplyDelete@Eddie - it doesn't mean that you must take every pleasure that comes your way - but rather there needs to be a balance. Look at the Ravad
ReplyDeleteRavad (Baalei Nefesh): What is the meaning of Sotah (47a): Yetzer, child and woman – the left hand pushes away and the right hand brings close. Since our Sages have specified the frequency of sexual intercourse for different types of people (Kesubos 61b) – what is the significance of the left hand pushing away and the right hand bringing close? Only a person who doesn’t have proper understanding would have asked this question. Let me first explain the meaning of “yetzer” and “woman” because there is value in their explanations. Afterwards I explain this I will answer the original question. There are two basic explanations of “yetzer” and “woman”. Some say that “yetzer” is referring to sexual intercourse while “woman” is referring to all other aspects of a woman such as feeding her or giving he drink, clothing or jewelry. Thus it is saying not to typically give her everything she wants. Rather it is necessary to criticize her from time to time so that she doesn’t become too burdensome. There is also benefit in his criticism so that she doesn’t become too dominating. Because there is no more evil illness than the evil of a wife who rules over her husband. On the other hand some say that “woman” is referring to sexual intercourse while “yetzer” is referring to the other desires in the world and that a person should not satiate his soul with them. But rather push them away with the weaker left hand while his stronger right brings them close so that he eats when he is hungry and drink when thirst. In short he should take care of those needs which are necessary but not fast to afflict himself. This is stated in Taanis (11a): That one who causes himself suffering by avoiding wine is called a sinner and surely one who denies himself from all other pleasure. Furthermore it says in the Yerushalmi (Kiddushin 4:12):”In the future a person will have to give a reckoning of all that he saw but didn’t eat. R’ Eleazar used to collect money so that he could purchase all types of fruit once a year.” Both these explanations are correct.
having sex with ones wife to prevent sinful thoughts in todays day and age in the buisiness world would require at least twice a day.
ReplyDeletecan one be a frum hedonist or kosher hedonist?
ReplyDeleteeg 20 types of kosher chocolate/ wine etc?
it doesn't make someone not frum - but probably not ideal either (a la the 'naval bershus hatorah' of the Ramban)
ReplyDelete