An immodest prohibition: Does a strong concern with modesty lead to an increased unhealthy awareness of sexuality?

JPost  by    SEYMOUR HOFFMAN

The writer is a supervising psychologist at the Marbeh Da’at Mental Health Center, Mayanei Hayeshua Medical Center. He edited Rabbis and Psychologists: Partners or Adversaries (2014), Reader for the Orthodox Jewish Psychotherapist: Issues, Case Studies and Contemporary Responsa (2014) and authored Thinking Out of the Box: Unconventional Psychotherapy (2015).

‘...we no longer aim to produce a community of pious persons. Rather, we are striving to engineer a community where men simply never see women’ – Dr. Nachum Klafter

Jewish law insituted prohibitions, guidelines and safeguards regarding the interaction between men and woman – prohibitions of abiding alone with, touching and looking at a person of the opposite sex. It did not institute separate sides of the street for men and women to walk on, or separate hours for men and women in supermarkets. It did not obligate women to sit in the rear of buses.

Dr. Nachum Klafter, a prominent Orthodox American Jewish psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and academic, opines that “severe standards for modesty and gender separation have lowered the threshold for sexual stimulation, which has led to an increase in sexual problems. Gender separation, when it becomes so extreme, causes a shift in the locus of control from internal to external. With this approach, we no longer aim to produce a community of pious persons. Rather, we are striving to engineer a community where men simply never see women.”

Ultra-Orthodox publications do not include pictures of modestly dressed women and even altered the photograph of the new Israeli government so that the faces of the female ministers were either pixelated or removed entirely. In Beit Shemesh, the word “isha” [woman] was spray-painted over on a sign for a women’s health clinic.

In the article, “An immodest obsession: Vanishing Women,” (The Jerusalem Post, August 14, 2015), Shoshanna Keats- Jaskoll highlights the dangerous trend of erasing women from the public sphere in haredi communities in Israel and the US. In the article, Keats-Jaskoll interviews Menachem Schloss, a Beit Shemesh haredi psychotherapist. “A clear result of extremes in tzniut [modesty] is, ironically, pornography,” Schloss is quoted as saying.

“People with such mind-sets [that women should be hidden from view] are far more likely to perceive normal human drives as an addiction issue.”

As a result of this approach, young haredi men absorb the message that women are primarily sexual objects, and one has to be always on guard not to fall prey to their temptations. These men do not have the opportunity to learn how to interact respectfully with women or to appreciate and value them for their intelligence, personality traits, talents and contributions to society. Many young haredi men feel uncomfortable speaking to females, and they avoid looking at them even though these women are modestly dressed.

Recently, Rabbi Yitchak Zilberstein, a highly respected arbiter from Bnei Brak, in reply to a question raised by a haredi psychiatrist, recommended that limits for the sake of modesty should be placed on treatment by psychotherapists of patients of the opposite gender. Klafter, in an excellent article titled “Psychotherapy Treatment with Patients of Opposite Sex,” wrote: “It has been suggested to me that perhaps Rabbi Zilberstein’s advice is appropriate for a therapist who lives in the type of hassidic or haredi community where such efforts are made to prevent any interaction, public or private, between men and women.”

Keats-Jaskoll, in her article, points out that Rabbi Haim of Volozhin (18th century), one of the outstanding Torah scholars of his day, discusses the paradox of lustful thoughts, maintaining that when a man commits to never looking at a woman, his desire will burn like fire. “The very thing he seeks to avoid will come to dominate his mind,” she writes. [...]

In a responsum dealing with the inevitability of seeing and coming into contact with women in public places, the above author refers to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, the most respected halachic authority of the last century, ruling that “one should be capable of riding on buses or subways in close contact with women without becoming sexually aroused.”

He adds that if an individual is not capable of doing so without becoming sexually stimulated, he would indeed be obligated to avoid being around women, but would also be obligated to take steps to change himself. “If one knows that he has a lustful nature and that he will become sexually aroused – then it is prohibited even if he needs to travel on buses and subways. But Heaven forbid that a person should be that way! This is a result of idleness.... therefore one needs to be involved in Torah study and in work, so he will no longer be like this.” [...]

A Letter From A Mother of a child abuser - the perspective from the other side

Jewish Press

It takes courage to write my story. I am not a young woman anymore and I feel compelled to put my family’s story on paper to give us a voice when we have none. I hope that by sharing our painful story, other parents can learn from our mistakes and that we will ultimately be able to open a dialogue about judgment and forgiveness – for ourselves and others. What follows is story of a regular family and a tragedy that unfolded while we were not looking. In that, ours is a cautionary tale for every parent.

It all began with a phone call. I was on my way to work when a woman called saying, “Do you know that your son Yisroel [a pseudonym] sexually abused my son in camp several years ago?” So shocking was this accusation that at first, I didn’t quite take it in. In the few seconds it took me to assimilate the information, I blurted out, “No. I don’t know anything about it, but I will find out and do whatever has to be done.”

I can’t really explain the effect this call had on me. I wondered if it could be true. This wasn’t the introverted, gentle son I knew – could he have done this terrible thing? Then, as any parent would, I started searching for any hint that I could’ve missed; what didn’t I see? And I searched my heart, wondering what I had done wrong. This child had been born at a chaotic time when I was overburdened with family troubles. My mother had cancer, and I had been turning the world upside down in a futile search for the doctors and treatments that would save her. Sadly, my efforts were too little and too late, and I was left grieving and feeling guilty. The next few years brought the death of my father and other medical crises, but despite it all, our family life seemed normal. In all the hours of soul-searching that followed, I wondered if this child, who perhaps needed the most attention of all my kids, didn’t get all that he needed. I know we had struggled to do the best we could.

Yisroel had been diagnosed with ADHD and had difficulty making friends at school. He was bullied and became sullen and withdrawn, and he seemed to lack social skills needed to make close friendships. We sought advice from a child therapist but nothing helped. When he finally made what seemed to be a good friend, a neighborhood boy a couple of years older than him, I was so happy. But my impression was terribly wrong. My son was being sexually exploited and I was totally oblivious. These events took place many years ago, and in those more innocent times, such things were unimaginable to most people. This older boy was “frum” and from our own Orthodox neighborhood, and I felt very comfortable. In fact, I saw this new relationship as a “bracha” for my child who was so bereft of friends. [...]

By the time the distraught mother called me with the accusation, Yisroel was 22 years old and immersed in Torah studies. I immediately confronted him and told him about the call. I won’t lie; I hoped with all my heart that he would be shocked and deny it. I hoped it would wind up being untrue, a mix-up – that it was not my son; that it didn’t happen. But my son just looked at me with an expression I couldn’t interpret and was silent. Heartsick, my husband and I took him to see a therapist, a specialist in the treatment of sexual abuse recommended by an Orthodox referral service. A battery of tests confirmed that he had been abused himself and also had abused his camper. My husband and I, together with our other children, were enlisted in Yisroel’s treatment plan, charged with enforcing his attendance in therapy and monitoring his comings and goings, but he was anxious to cooperate in the treatment and continued willingly for six years.

Life went on almost normally. Eventually, Yisroel met and began dating a young woman. Concerned about whether he was ready for marriage, we consulted his therapist, who assured us that he was healthy and posed no danger to the community since he had received treatment early and had never repeated his offense. He gave my son his blessings for the marriage, and we were thrilled that our son was finally reentering life, albeit with a heavy burden.

It was three years after his marriage and almost 10 years after the abuse incident that another surprise phone call upended our lives again. This time, the former camper himself called and accused my son of molesting him. Yisroel readily admitted his guilt, apologized profusely and explained that he was still in therapy. But, unbeknownst to my son, there was a police detective listening in and recording the conversation, and in a classic sting operation, he arrested my son based on his admission.

Life has a way of forcing us to learn many lessons that we would rather never know, and so, we began our tutorial on the legal system that would occupy such a dominate place in our lives to this day. We became aware of the various classes of felonies: since the statute of limitations had passed, the state would have to apply the higher-level offence, which subjected our son to a mandatory sentence of five to 25 years. We learned that our only option was a plea bargain which required an admission of guilt, 10 years probation and being registered as a sex offender, and mandatory therapy through the court system, although he had already had six years of specialized therapy. We learned that in some respects, the law is unfair to the victim, instituting an unreasonable time frame for charges to be brought, and to the perpetrator, in that all offenders are lumped into one undifferentiated bunch. There was little we could do other than agree to the terms we were offered. We live with enormous guilt and anguish knowing that our son so grievously hurt another child and caused tremendous suffering to the victim and his family. To undo the damage is impossible, and we made the only reparation we could, paying unstintingly for the victim’s therapy, which ran into six figures.

Torah Psychotherapy: Learned from Torah or doesn't violate Torah?

 Update:8/18/13 I'd like to summarize what I understand Ploni is suggesting regarding developing a Torah therapy. 1) It is desirable to have psychotherapy based upon the insights of those who contributed to our Mesorah instead of either a purely secular therapy or one that the therapist hopefully selects elements that are compatible with  Torah and avoids those elements which are against the Torah. 2) There is also at the present no clear guidelines for the goals of therapy. Ploni is suggesting that we identify Torah appropriate goals and avoid inappropriate goals. 3) Before a true  Torah therapy is developed it is important that there be some official psak as to what secular therapy is appropriate for use with frum Jews.  4) Therapy needs on going rabbinic supervision as well a prescreening by rabbis.
My simple response to this is a practical one. I don't think it is feasible because it is essential creating mashgichim for therapy. In Ploni's future I can see that we have Bedatz therapy and therapists and OU therapy and therapists. Who are these mashgichim going to be? By and large rabbonim who don't understand therapy - but think they do. So why should they supervise it? In addition it would seem that each client would need not only to find a therapist but also a rabbinic supervisor to assure that therapy is going on in line with rabbinic approval. I find this rather intrusive and counterproductive as well as cumbersome. An alternative would be that only rabbis would be allowed to be therapists. This also is not a good idea because many talented therapists are not capable of learning properly while many Torah giants would simply relate to a client as they do a shtender. We see how child abuse has been handled with rabbinic supervision and I don't have reason to think therapy would be handled any better. I find the idea of total rabbinic supervision rather depressing. Furthermore while I think theoretically it is possible to build a Torah therapy, I am not convinced that a Torah therapy would actually work better than a selective use of secular therapy or developing new neutral techniques which don't claim roots in halacha or hashkofa.
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There have been a number of heated discussion about the issue of Torah psychotherapy. Part of the problem is clearly defining what is meant. Equally important is whether the "Torah therapy" is actually derived from Torah sources in the Hirschian sense - or whether they are simply translation of secular language and metaphors into Torah terms? In other words, does the Torah define what a good marriage or child rearing is - or are secular standards used and Torah is simply used as a tool. Does Torah prescribe ways to reduce anxiety or become more sociable or outgoing  - or is it derived from Dale Carnegie or Freud?
Update: See additional discussion about frum self-help books

Update: This is more than an academic question. A friend was informed by an activist in a major Torah community that 50% of community charity monies are now going to provide psychotherapy. Most of it was spent on frum therapists who had received at most a years training in a frum therapy program. The askan was not only upset about the amount of money being spent but he said he had no idea of whether the therapists were competent and had no way of determining whether the money was being well spent.

Update 8/14/13 If in fact the therapy is truly Torah therapy - then it would seem that there could be no excuse to use secular therapy. However problems clearly exist when Torah principles of what constitutes proper education or the ideal marriage clearly are inconsistent - not only with modern secular values but also that of the vast majority of Orthodox Jews. 
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Conclusion - Update 8/16/13 It is apparent from the comments to this post is that there is no such thing as Torah Psychology or Torah Therapy that was given at Sinai. There are psychological insights which are found in our Tradition which can be used in therapy - but they don't constitue a program of therapy. A psychology or therapy based primarily or exclusive on Torah sources might be desirable - but it doesn't exist at present and it clearly is not part of our Tradition from Sinai.

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There are a number of possibilities. 

1) Mental health achieved by prescribing Torah activities.  A person with low self esteem might be told to make a siyum to build his self esteem. A person who is shy, might be encouraged to do chesed to be less self-conscious. A man who has anxiety and depression by being in an adulterous relationship with another man's wife is told to stop sinning and do teshuva. A person might be told to pray at the graves of great tzadikim.

2) Therapy done by a rabbi or rebbetzin.  Some believe that any therapeutic technique that is done by a religious authority is Torah therapy. This may or may not include using religious language and examples. Thus there is absolutely no difference in the technique - only the person doing the therapy. An example is Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein's declaration that while psychologists have techniques for evaluating whether a person is a pedophile or child molester - only a talmid chachom actually knows.

3) Traditional secular psychotherapy techniques that don't violate halacha OR HASHKAFA [Ploni's correction]. A secular therapist once told me that the cure for the depression for his  yeshiva bachur client - was to get a girl from and engage in sexual relations. Obviously this was not acceptable. Another example is that some therapy is predicated about speaking lashon harah about parents and friends. A Torah therapy would seek a cure without using such techniques if at all possible.

4) Techniques developed from classic Jewish sources such as mussar or chassidic writings- without reference to secular sources. These typically involve using a conceptual framework of spirituality that if found in seforim such as Mesilas Yeshorim- often kabbalistic ideas are utilized.. No reference is made to secular psychology at all. However a secular therapist will typically recognize these techniques as variations of secular therapy.

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Thus ultimately the question is whether there is an inherent Torah approach to curing mental health problems. To answer this question it should be sufficient to observe whether great Torah scholars are also great therapists? I personally think the answer is no. Rav Moshe Feinstein is quoted in the introduction to the 8th volume of the Igros Moshe that being a gadol in Torah doesn't make one a successful politician or provide other wisdoms. Gedolim typically tell people with psychological problems to go the therapists. It is really no different than a medical problem. While there clearly are rabbis who have an innate talent for therapy - it doesn't seem that this is the result of studying Torah. There are in fact wise people from all sorts of backgrounds who are able to give therapeutic advice and direction.

A corollary of this answer that there is no inherent Torah therapy is the reality that advice from rabbis is not beyond question. One rosh yeshiva told me about a friend of his who was having marriage problems. He said it was obvious that the couple should never have gotten married. However since he was a student of Rav Moshe Feinstein he went and asked for advice. Rav Moshe told him emphatically that he should remain married. The man suffered for 5 more years and finally couldn't take it any more and got divorced. The rosh yeshiva - who was close with Rav Moshe - said his friend wasted 5 years of his life.  I have heard this regarding other gedolim such as Rav Steinman. Rabbis - even amongst the greatest - are known to have bad marriages or messed up children. This is readily stated in the Talmud.

Update 8/15/13 From Rav Wolbe's article on Psychiatry and Religion it is clear that there is no independent Jewish psychology or psychotherapy given at Sinai - but psychology which has been adapted or filtered to be appropriate for a religious Jews. this is from page 77.

היחס של היהדות הדתית אל הטיפול הפסיכיאטרי.

ידוע הוא יחס התורה של חכמת הרפואה בכללה: הרשות ניתנה לרופא לרפא - "ורפוא ירפא" כתיב  - וחיוב מוטל על האדם:

"ונשמרתם מאד לנפשותינם"  ~. ויש מרבותינו הסוברים כי פקודתו של רופא יש לה דין של "מצוה מדאורייתא" בכל החומרות שלה. והי' צריך להיות מובן מאליו, כי לפסיכיאטרי' מגיע אותן מעמד כמו לשאר ענפי הרפואה. הרי דבר פשוט הוא: כל הפרעה רצינית, אם נוירוטית אם פסיכוטית, צריכה לבוא בהקדם האפשרי לאבחנה פסיכאטרית ולטיפול מתאים. למרבה הצער, האמת הפשוטה הזאת אינה נחלת הציבור הרחב, וזאת משתי סיבות: נפוצים משפטים קדומים בכל הקשור למחלות-נפש, וגם שוררת אי-ידיעה ככל השייך לתחום זה.

ישנם משפטים קדומים רבים בענין, הראשון - המחריד ביותר: יש החושבים, כי חולה-נפש מהווה כתם על המשפחה כולה. בעיני ראיתי, איך משפחה טובה מאד התכחשה לבן יקר שיצופרני; בתחילה התכחשה לאבחנה. אחר-כן. עם התקדמות המחלה, התעלמה מהחולה עצמו, שעזב את הבית והתגלגל במסדרון של איזה מוסד בחוסר כל ובלי שום טיפול. כמוכן, כל מי שיש לו השפעה על משפחות החולים, חייב ללחוץ על המשפחה שיביאו את החולה לטיפול פסיכיאטרי, ובהקדם! - משפט קדום שני מכוון נגד האישפוז: על מי שהי' מאושפז פעם, מוטבעת גושפנקא של "אינו מן הישוב", וזה מערים קשיים על עתידו אפילו אם הבריא לגמרי. עוד זאת חוששים קרובי החולה, שהאישפוז עצמו יגרום הרעה במצב החולה. גם בזה יש צורך בהסברה לציבור הרחב, כי הרופאים מודעים לאפשרות זאת, והם עושים כל אשר ביכולתם למנוע אישפוז מיותר. רצוי שהציבוו ידע, כי היום עומדות לרשות הפסיכיאטרים תרופות חדישות שחוללו מהפכה בטיפול במחלות פסיכוטיות. [...]

בעיות אלו משותפות לציבור הדתי ולפסיכיאטרים. יש צורך דחוף בארגון קורסים לרבנים בפועל ולמחננים, במטרה להפיץ ידע בסיסי על הסימפטונים של נוירוזה ןפסיכוזה ודרכי הטיפול שלהן בקווים כלליים, כדי שידעו להפנות חולים בהקדם אל הרופא. ידיעה בסיסית היתה מסלקת הרבה משפטים קדומים!

Satanic child abuse - Is there a ring of such pedophiles operating in Sanhedria Murchevet?

 update:Added an ocr'ed version of Rav Berkowitz talk The Hebrew phrases were not converted properly but it is still understandable . - it is for those who are not able to read the Scribd version

 A few years ago Jerusalem was shocked to hear allegations of a ring of Satanic pedophiles in Nachlaot. This allegedly involved missionaries and secret tunnels and hundreds of victims. At this stage is is not clear what actually happened because of the mass hysteria which led to behavior which messed up a reasonable possibility of a proper police investigation. Parents were interrogating their children with very direct questions - which we know is not the way to get at the truth. There were people accused, there are people who went to jail and there are many children who have been given treatment. But again - it is not clear what actually happened.

A similar situation apparently has occurred in Sanhedria Murchevet. Apparently most of the response to the allegation is the direct result of the leadership of Rav Yitzchok Berkovitz. Unfortunately just as with Nachlaot  there is not much evidence to verify there is in fact a ring of of child abusers.  The police have been informed - but they also don't see any clear evidence. Rav Berkovitz kept the news of these allegations from the public in the hope of being able to identify who the perpetrators are. He hired a private detective. My sources indicate that nothing of significance has come from this paternalistic approach. I was told that it was only due to the clear failure of the secret approach that Rav Berkovitz made the information public several weeks ago. 

I find it astounding that if in fact there is a ring or even the suspicion of such a ring - that parents should not have been informed about it and the community given a chance to take protective measures.

  These are the recordings of the public revelation that there are allegations of a pedophile ring in Sanhedria Murchevet- the first is Rav Berkovitz and the second is a psychologist - Dr. Nitai Melamed.

Rav Yitzchok Berkovitz

update  March 12, 2015
 it was just brought to my attention that "Dr Nitai Melamed the psychologist" is not a doctor nor a psychologist.He is a psychodrama therapist. I just deleted the incorrect titles
. Nitai Melamed

Update - the story appeared recently on Kikar HaShabbat

http://www.kikar.co.il/165607.html

http://www.kikar.co.il/165723.html

update included the transcript   Rabbi Yitzchok Berkovitz (transcript)

Rav Berkowitz speaks about SRA (Sadistic Ritual Abuse a.k.a Satanic Ritual Abuse)

I'm not here tonight DlJlJT.l Knesses Yehuda - I have not come to defend the cheder. I'm here cause I'm worried. For some two years, along with a small group of people, I've been walking around with the burden of a very painful, dangerous and difficult situation in Yerushalayim. One of our greatest fears was that this would one day get out, before being solved - create panic, pandemonium - to the point that we are going to end up doing more damage, to ourselves and our children, than the O'lllN.il a·v~.n, the perpetrators can possibly do. It seems that at this point this is the direction things are taking .... I'll do whatever I can tonight to try to share with you what is and what isn't going on. 

IY.lN. N.'7 DN. •'7 IX 1nx ax •'7 'IN. - 'N.JT p. pru: p.1 1r.iN. 0'71J '711. At this point, I'm dealing with something quite explosive. I'm very much afraid to tell you what I'm going to tell you tonight. At the same time, it seems that if I don't, things are going to be far worse. I've discussed some of these things with select people, sometimes of groups of people, when absolutely necessary, with the hope that it wouldn't go further. At this point in time, I have no choice other than speak in public. 

There's nothing dearer to us - to Yidden - there's nothing dearer to us than our own children. Their gashmius, their ruchniyus. When we feel that our children are threatened, we become - of course, l'havdil - we become like a bear, who thinks that its offspring are being threatened. All of our instincts take over, to the point that we're dangerous, to the point that we're frantic and don't know what we're doing, to the point that we don't think straight, to the point that we hurt ourselves and, once again, even our children - and everyone around us. 

I'm appealing tonight to all of you - baruch hashem, the angle community here in yerushalayim, we take pride in the fact that we are a mature, highly intelligent group of people - men and women. I'm appealing to your sense of reason - please, please, allow your seichel hayashar to hear, to process and to think, and overcome the instinctive hysteria, that once again is causing so much damage to everyone involved, and, cholila, has the potential to spread throughout Yerushalayim, and Hashem knows, chas v'shalom, can happen here. If all of Yerushalayim goes into hysteria ... And it's not just us, it's going to reach the locals, and we have kano'im among us, and it has happened before ... in the present atmosphere - where everyone becomes a suspect - I'm sure people are going to get beaten, cholila someone can die! We have to come back to using our seichel, we have to calm down - despite the fact that we're talking about our children, and we're talking about something very serious. So I'm appealing to your seichel hayashar. 

Listen, I'm not going to keep secrets, I'm going to give you the gory details - but I'm also going to tell you what's not going on, I'd also like you to understand the proportions, I'd also like you to understand what can and cannot be done, what should be done, and what should not be done. 

At the end of ;i."vl!m 10¹1, I received a phone call, a phone call from one of the yungerleit in the neighborhood, a member of the ·kehilla, someone whose family I know very well, I know every one of the children. He tells me, his daughter seems like she's trying to say something, his daughter sounds like someone hurt her, but he doesn't quite understand. I recommended that the daughter be brought to a woman I know that specializes in molestation, works primarily in chutz la'aretz, but happens to be here a good part of the year- I sent her there. 

After a session that lasted hours, I get a phone call from this therapist, and she says -I took out the teddy bears, and this girl described to me an act of oines, nothing less, with all the details - to the very end, including how they cleaned her up, and what hurt and when. In the conversation, what also emerged was that this happened many times. 

Obviously, I was shaken. I immediately phoned Mrs. Coopersmith from the children's unit at Neve, someone I always consulted with in issues of child psychology. I said I understand this is something that cannot go unreported - what do I do? She said, you've got to go the TI'i1 m;ti1'1 D1Yl, a place that was set up for interrogating children, rather than the police station .... social worker's there, a police representative. Something that's supposed to be a little more user-friendly for the kid. The girl was traumatized by the initial session with the therapist. The parents were even more traumatized. It took a lot of convincing - they went. The girl was once again traumatized - and said nothing. She wouldn't say anything. So I was informed, there's not much that can be done, because the girl isn't talking. 

At home, she continued to talk, and she started mentioning names of friends who were there at the same time and shared the experience. We contacted the parents. I urged them to bring their kids to the 1'1•11 mm'7 n1YJ as well. It wasn't easy. It's not something that parents feel like doing. They went, three girls went all together - no one said a word - even though one of them said she was eager to talk to someone. Apparently, the atmosphere is not especially user friendly for chareidi kids, and the question is altogether how much they're in tune with children, with young children, and especially those who have experienced something traumatic, and are not so open to talking. They claim that they're limited by the rules, the laws. In order for a child's testimony to be accepted in court, they have to ask the parents to leave. Without the parents there, to speak in front of strangers, especially a kid who is now afraid of strangers because of what was done to her, to expect her to talk, it's a bit far-fetched. So they were traumatized needlessly a second time - didn't say a word. 

What do you do? - there's nothing you can do with the police. I hired a private investigator. Not a top-notch one, I was doing this on my own - they're very expensive. So first, he brought into the neighborhood "mashkifim", people standing around with binoculars looking to see what's doing. I was getting phone calls from all over the place, there are some different looking people around the neighborhood with binoculars, should we call the police? Called the investigator-you don't understand, that's not going to work here. 

So next, he put these hidden cameras around the neighborhood, today you can get a camera the size of a button or smaller, he put them on rocks in different places. Lots to watch, nothing that would shed light on what happened. 

So he moved on, he said that he was going to do intelligence work. You know, Sanhedria Murchevet is full of machsanim, people make a little extra money, they have a room, in some of these machsanim you have single people living, they are the first suspects, let's find out who they are and do a police check on them. 

He gets back to me - I've got your guy. Yeah, there's someone there with a police record, he was accused by his 9-year old daughter of molestation, he lives in a building just where these people live, he's your guy. He does some more work - he got onto the guys computer, expecting to find shmutz, instead he found something far worse. This was an avreich, and he had shticklech torah of why it was all mutter. l'lJ:l lJ:rm [nuo ,'.:t rue nruns » it's nothing. rruan '•1J9 - eh, the Rambam's shitta, he's wrong, rov rishonim don't hold that way. And he left off at the end, if I'm mistaken, then it's a ta'us in halacha, but it's not yetzer hara. 

We've got our guy! I run to the police, with the report from the therapist, the disc of what's on this guy's computer, I checked first with the 1'7¹i1 m.:til'7 TJiY.l, spoke to a n•11:1.1n, the police woman there, she got in touch with a 1j71n at the police, they were waiting for me, I came there, testified for a long time, pages and pages and pages ... they take a look at the report - one minute, this woman isn't licences to practice in Israel, it's disqualified. The CD - that was obtained illegaly, that doesn't count. We feel very bad, but there's not much we can really do for you. 

I realized that wasn't going to work. I got in touch with one of the askonim in narrun 'rrrruo, Yosef Shoruk, a good man to know, and he brought to the house the person in charge of intelligence, for the police, but their intelligence unit, for the whole, not just the neighborhood, but the whole area. He comes to the house, hears the story, he said he'll check into it, worked quick, within days the man was out of the neighborhood. I asked him, where is he, I mean, what neighborhood did you send him to. He said, he sent him to family, he thinks he's safe. We thought all was fine and dandy. We got the guy, it would have been nice to see him in prison, but at least he's out of the neighborhood, the place is safe, nothing to talk about. 

Now, this girl was traumatized by the first therapist. We realized that we needed something a little gentler for her. A person that was contacted was someone, a world class trauma specialist, Dr. Dani Kahn, who happens to often work with one of the speech therapists in the neighborhood, who happened to be working with this girl as well, and he suggested that since this girl has a relationship with her, let the speech therapist work with her, he will tell her how you do such therapy, he'll supervise it, he'll be there for many of the sessions, he wants it all videoed and he's going to view the videos as well, just in order to establish the right kind of climate for a kid who has undergone such trauma, to get some healthy therapy. And that's what happened, and in play therapy we start hearing a whole different story. Perhaps it was good that we got this, this character out of the neighborhood, but it sounds like, that's not what happened. 

The girl starts talking, slowly, in the language of a little girl, she was talking about how she was taken, taken out of the neighborhood, some of the time she was here, some of the time she was taken out of the neighborhood. Now, it's very difficult to really know exactly what you accept for little kids and what not. When you're dealing with young children, I mean, you know your kids. They're so sweet, and they talk so much narishkeit. It's very difficult to be able to sift out what's for real, what's real, what's accurate, and what's not. What's stam, what's fantasy. Part of what she told was, that she was given things to drink ... at one point, in one of her therapy sessions, she actually showed up, and the therapist said - this girl is drugged. The mother confirmed that night, that she found a needle mark on her. Apparently, part of whatever was done to her, involved drugging her first. 

But she talked about a lot of kids together, things being done to them of the same sort. Now, although we question the reliability of little kids, when a young child starts describing things that she clearly knows nothing about other than by the fact that she experienced it, something she never heard about in school and never heard about at home, and at that age, you don't have the wise aleck that knows everything, we're talking about little kids! - there are things that she described that she had to have experienced, and we accept that 100%. 

But then she said, she's scared to talk, because they took a cat and slaughtered it in front of her and told her they'd do the same to her if she tells her parents. And she was taken to a fire, and brought closer and closer until it really hurt, and told that if she tells, then she's going to get thrown into that fire. 

And she told of this happening many times. Where? That's where there's a lot of confusion. At one point, she was talking about this big building with lots of steps, colored windows. She talked of being taken to a pool. This sounded very much like stories that we had heard from Nachla'ot. Honestly, I was given a lot of literature about what happened in nachla'ot. I read through it, and decided that this is surreal, no level-headed human being can believe it, and it's therefore untrue. I was unwilling to deal with it. The problem was that when we started hearing these stories, it sounded identical, it sounded exactly like what the kids in nachla'ot testified to. 

With time, this girl wasn't alone, more girls spoke, and we realized there was a real problem with girls of the ganim in the neighborhood. It did not seem that things were happening in gan, it sounded much like it was a matter of on the way home. And we checked. It seems that the girls were coming home together, a bunch of little girls, no adults. How long did it take them to come home? How long does it take kids to come home from gan? There are so many interesting things on the way. It never occurred to the parents if it takes an hour to get home within the neighborhood, that's something to worry about. 

My wife went out a couple of days when kids come home from gan, pretty much at the center of the neighborhood. You know, we have Tzafon, shiras devora, a bunch of ganim, there are hundreds of girls out on the street at the same time - my wife said she was the only adult there. We realized that parents had to be made aware of the fact that the streets are not safe, and you got to protect your children.

I consulted with the professionals that I know, that I had experience working with, some knew people I got to know, I asked for names ... to get to speak to the parents. It wasn't an easy thing, we had to get someone who on the one hand, would be respected by people as sharing our hashkafa, at least to a certain extent, it's got to be a professional, it's got to be someone who will tell it like it is, on the one hand, without causing panic. 

We organized an evening for the women in Sanhedria Murchevet, we brought in Dr. Aviva Shechter. Many parents took it to heart and stopped allowing their kids to go to school alone. It seemed that many of the kids had learning disabilities and that they were targets. 

Well, it didn't stop there. We started finding out that Sanhedria Murchevet is not the only neighborhood where this is happening. We found out that this was going on in Givat Shaul, in Romema, in Neve Ya'akov. Same kinds of stories. We then found that in many of these neighborhoods, among the kids that were speaking up, there were many who were in chinuch meyuchad, in special ed. Once again, it sounds like these are prime targets. It became clear that this was not happening in the actual ganim of chinuch meyuchad. There were too many people around, and these were trustworthy people. What we did find out was that the lriya, the municipality, provides, they have a private company that provides transportation. The drivers are chiloni, and so is the melave - which is also very interesting, there's a melave for a tender full of girls. In other words - two frei men, on a tender full of girls. Often, they changed tenders in the middle of the way. And, there were many reports of kids coming back an hour late, and always some feeble excuse - of traffic, got stuck, got lost, a new driver. It seemed that this was happening quite regularly. The Sulam system filed many reports, with nnnn n)l!.l'7, the different nD1u'7 throughout Yerushalayim. Sulam has several ganim in Yerushalayim and there were reports coming from all over. We tried passing the word around - you don't use the municipal transportation for special ed, they are unsafe. 

All right, so there's the ganim, there was special ed, and then, we started getting stories from boys in the chadorim. Primarily little boys, young boys, the same kind of thing, some described things happening on the tender, some described being taken out of the cheder. Once again, we are talking about not only Sanhedria Murchevet, not only Knesses Yehuda - in fact, the vast majority of the stories around, the vast majority of the boys that have spoken up, are not from knesses Yehuda. 

Now, here again, there's a lot we know, and there's even more we don't know. You're talking about children. A 3 Y, year old tells you he was taken up to the second floor in building 138, to an apartment whose interior was all blue, with blue chairs, and there were animals running around. What do you do with that? Walk around 138, neither kenisa on the second floor has an apartment that's all blue. What do you accept, what do you not accept? And not only are we dealing very often with 3 Y, year olds, but they all seem to be saying that they were given something to drink, or there are needle marks. 

By the way, I was consulted by kupat cholim here, the local kupa, they said that they had to report, they had to report a kid that came in with a needle mark, they wanted to know, like, do the Rabbonim approve of reporting - if they're not going to report they're going to close down the kupa. I said report! Report, get the police involved! Let's see if they can do something. We're getting nowhere with them. Every single parent that was sent to the police, a month later, gets a letter, nl'lf") IOlnYl l:lOJ j7'ni1. The kids are not talking, they don't talk at the police. What goes on at the therapists, doesn't matter to them, it's called eidut mezuhemet - for all you know, the therapist told them what to say. And there are people around Yerushalayim that claim that the therapists made this whole thing up. A therapist with a lot of imagination is getting the kids to say these things. I have one problem with accepting that theory - too many kids have told their parents the whole story before they got to a therapist. 

When I say the whole story, so I'm going to go back and fill in some details now. It seems like there's a cult operating throughout Yerushalayim. This is nothing less than a cult. We're not dealing with pedophiles here. We're dealing with a sadistic cult. Their exact agenda is difficult to know - baruch hashem, our minds don't work that way. 

What we have figured out are several things: 

Number one: their first concern is to protect themselves. They therefore choose very young kids, and if possible, kids that seem insecure, kids with learning disabilities, children who even if they do speak up, people will probably not take too seriously. They are also easier to manipulate. Second, of course, they scare them to death. They threaten to kill them - and their parents. Third, and this is what's most frightening, they use all sorts of technology, and systems, for compartmentalizing their brain, so that whatever they're experiencing remains subconscious, conscious on only a certain level, and the other part of their brain is totally unaffected by it, so that they won't talk. This seems quite clear, we've even discovered a lot of the technology. So kids don't naturally talk up. 

Where do they speak? They have nightmares, there's bedwetting, major shifts in behavior - or sometimes they actually talk, depending on the way the kid thinks and feels. That very first child who spoke up, happens to have some kind of Issue where her emotions were not that attached to her seichel, so she was able to talk freely at a certain point. 

What are they doing to them other than just protecting themselves? They destroy the child's entire sense of seder and values. They create total confusion. The kid walks away not knowing who the good guys are, who the bad guys are. Many of the kids initially claim that their parents were the perpetrators. If we take the kids literally, there should at least be 40 fathers in Sanhedria Murchevet either behind bars or at least away from their home. They talk of their Rebei'im as being perpetrators. If not their Rebbe'im, some other Rebbi. By name. The perpetrators confuse them. They use names, the names of the Rebbe'im in the neighborhood. They're a little mixed up sometimes. You can have a kid in one cheder, who talks about a Rebbi is another cheder, because the perpetrators are using that name. They have a "Tzaddik", they have a "Rabbee", they have "Papa" - these are common names they're using. The kids are totally mixed up. They tell them that their parents are evil, and they're good. They tell them not to listen to their parents. And then comes religion. They tell them to be mechalel shabbos. They tell them to stop making brachos. They tell them that they're not Jewish. 

Whether or not they actually baptize them is hard to know. Kids have talked about pools. It's hard to know. And we have to be very clear: let's not jump to conclusions on our own. I know imaginations run wild. We don't know. There are things out on the street that this is all a plot, and it's the pope that's on top of it. Rabbosai, rabbosai, the more we use our imagination, the less credibility we're going to have. 

But we do know that they're attacking religion. And everything - they are just completely destroying everything that is sacred to the child. The child is left totally confused. Understand that the therapy necessary - I heard this from one of the most experienced therapists in Yerushalayim, a child psychologist in Yerushalayim, a very wise Israeli woman, she says - what you have to do is rebuild every value they've got because everything is destroyed. 

And of course, they're self-confidence is nonexistent. Many of them regress academically, because they're so insecure.

If that isn't bad enough, we go further. We don't know exactly what they're indoctrinating them with, but we certainly know how they're doing it. One of the most effective ways of getting something into one's subconscious is through pain. L'havdil - C)?C1 'ffTY.l'71U ;nm - when you learn under stress and pain, that's engraved on your heart, it becomes part of you, it's so deep that you'll never lose it. Torture is one of the most effective means of reaching someone's subconscious. Whatever it is that they're indoctrinating them with subconsciously, they do it through torture, and this is where I mentioned we're not just dealing with pedophiles, we're dealing with sadists. The kids are tortured. Exactly what it is, we don't know. Again, there are lots of animals there. We know that they're forced to do all kinds of things, and there are things are done to them that are terribly painful. And at the time, we don't know what it is exactly that they're telling them, but it's there in their subconscious. 

Here too, there are those who claim that we're dealing with missionaries and what they're trying to do is convert them that in another generation, chas v'shalom, all the chareidi kids in Yerushalayim are going to be members of another religion. Maybe. We don't know. We don't know and let that be very clear. 

Where is this taking place? Once again, a drugged 3 Y2 year old doesn't really know. We don't know for sure. We don't know where it's taking place. Word is out on the street that there are 14 apartments in Sanhedria Murchevet where things are happening all the time. If anyone knows where these apartments are, please let me know. We do not have a clue as to where anything is happening. The kids are so mixed up. They're so mixed up as to where they are. Once again, they're describing places, in Sanhedria Murchevet, ... such places don't exist here. 

And that's only our neighborhood. Once again, there are kids from all over. In recent months, it has spread all over. We're hearing from Ramat Shlomo, we're hearing from Sorotzkin, it's all over Yerushalayim. 

How many kids are we talking about? Let's get it straight again: there's what we know, and there's what we don't know. There are a lot of kids whose parents reported that they spoke. Of those, many of them were sent for therapy, nothing really much has surfaced. Some therapists, who are very sensitive to nuances have suspicions, and they may even warn parents and shake them up, but even, even according to those therapists - they don't know. We are talking about tens of kids who have actually spoken up and described everything I've told you about. Tens of kids. How much is it? There are those who want to say we're talking about hundreds of kids all over Yerushalayim ... We don't know. 

Now, having heard all this, I want you to understand. I've been involved in this, I said, for about two years now. When I heard what kids were saying about different Rebbe'im in the cheder, what I said was, you have to talk to people who know what's going on. You've got to understand, that when a 3 Yi year old talks about his Rebbi doing something to him, if it's anything that smells like what we're talking about, it doesn't mean all that much. That doesn't mean you just forget about it, you look into it, you look into it, but that doesn't mean that you've got a bunch of perpetrators around. None of the Rebbe'im are suspected pedophiles, we have absolutely no reason to think so. Most of the kids that named Rebbe'im, named them as watching when it happened. Even that is far-fetched - we find it hard to believe that things are going on in the chadorim - on the scale that the kids are describing - it doesn't fit. Once again, we're talking about young kids who are drugged. If you take everything that they tell you literally you're going to find yourself with lots of confusion. There are lots of stiros. Their timing is totally off - kids have a hard time with timing anyway. Their time, the place, the personalities - they're off. 

I maintained to begin with that we're doing injustice to the staff of this cheder, or any other cheder where it's about to happen, cause once again, the stories are coming out of all the chadorim, and to be honest, there are fewer stories coming out of Knesses Yehuda than a lot of other chadorim in Yerushalayim. If everyone is going to start panicking and accusing every Rebbi of being a pedophile because a kid here said something, or allegedly said something, we're in trouble. We're going to be doing more damage to ourselves than the perpetrators are. 

(Spoke about the precautions being taken in knesset Yehuda ... ) 

Rumor is out on the street that either myself or the people I work with, we believe that we should allow the perpetrators to do whatever they want so that one day we'll be able to catch them. I can't say I haven't heard people believing in that... I cannot see how anyone can accept such a thing l'halacha, and I would never stand for it. That was not the plan. We have to protect our children. 

In terms of working with the police, there have been many attempts. It does not seem that they are too motivated. There are different theories about why the police are not motivated. The head of the detectives that I met with said - the police in blue are incompetent. So that's one approach. A second approach - this is scary, it's too big, they would rather not believe it than get involved. There are those who accuse them of actually cooperating with the perpetrators. Listen - although, I'll have to say, some of my experiences may support that, I'm not one for conspiracies. There are people walking around writing pamphlets about how half of Yerushalayim is in on this conspiracy, it goes all the way from the pope, to a bunch of choshuve Rabbonim in Yerushalayim, they're all in cahoots ... I am sorry, Rabbosai, let's not lose our minds.

There's a dangerous cult around. It doesn't seem like the police are going to help us. Whatever other means we're trying to use, to employ, to catch them - they haven't worked yet. Of course, we're hopeful. Our responsibility at this point in time is to protect our children. That is our prime responsibility.

The way to protect our children is, or course, making sure they're not hefker. Little kids cannot be out on the street alone! I'm sorry to disappoint everyone. You came to Yerushalayim, but you're going to have to forget the old attitude that Yerushalayim is safe. 3 year olds, 4 year olds, 5 year olds, 6 year olds, 7 year olds cannot walk around alone! There have to be adults around. You want them to play outside? - all you need is one adult who's watching them. And by the way, it's got to be an adult who's watching them - we had things happening in the parks, Shabbos afternoon - there were a bunch of women there, the kids were playing, someone came over- it had nothing to do with this - but someone came over, someone came over and did something with the kids. Where were the mothers? - involved in some very interesting conversation. Nobody was looking. Nobody was looking! You got to watch your kids. 

I have to tell you something, we brought one family to an Adam Gadol for chizuk. They're broken, they're broken, their kid is talking, their kid is messed up. He looked at them and his first reaction is, why don't you watch your kids?! Kids are hefker! Now, of course, a broken family needed divrei chizuk, and not that. But he's right. 

Kids have to be taught... - and let me tell you something else, there hasn't been a single report of a kid that was taken by force, and we think we know why. You got to hear this: we've been told, that in the state of Israel, if you offer a child a candy, he says thank you, and then you ask him to come with you in your car, and he goes along, you're not considered kidnapping, because it wasn't against his will. He's 3 Yi years old! But, eh, he agreed. These people are very careful not to do anything illegal. It starts with a candy, a toffee, a sticker, a drink ... crossing the street. 

Which is another one ... Kids here, they know, up to 9 you don't cross yourself. So what do you do?

Something even more dangerous than crossing yourself - you ask a stranger to cross you. Apparently, one of the first girls that we, that we actually heard from, said that there was this man that crossing this group of girls every day, every day he was there when they needed to cross. He was crossing them every day, and they got to know him. And then one day he said come with me. 

We even have to teach our children - I know this is terrible - we have to teach our children not to do chessed. If a stranger comes and says, "oi, this is too heavy, could you help me shlep it up the stairs?", you have to say, I have to ask my parents. I know it's a terrible thing, it's a terrible thing, we're telling our kids not to do chessed. It's sakanas nefashos! We got to watch our children. We can't be mafkir our kids! 

At the same time, you can't live in fear. Listen, I'm not a therapist, although I must say, I've heard many ... I've been given many private lectures from many professionals over the past two years. I've learnt a lot. I've learnt to respect a lot of people. One of the things I've learnt is how damaging panic is. Nervous parents mean nervous children. Nervous parents mean insecure children. When there's panic, not only are you imagining that everyone out there is a monster, but so are they. They pick up on it. 

You got to be calm. You're going to tell me, how can you be calm after hearing what I told you? 

Very simple. If your kid is not having nightmares, and your kid is not bedwetting, and there are no major changes in personality, and it's the same, good ... gets up to trouble here and there, a mischievous kid, but the same kid that you've known all the years -your kid's ok, nothing has happened. 

Don't start interrogating your kids and giving them ideas - some parents have done that too. You give them ideas- they'll go for it - they'll be even more creative than you are! 

You just have to know that the cheder is safe, and anyplace else they go to is safe, and they're not out alone. At what age can your kids go out alone? A strong, mature 10-11 year old ... ok, better a little later, but that, ok. Nothing less than that. What kid can be trusted to take care of younger kids? This Dr. Shechter than spoke to the women said - a kid that is old and strong enough to save the younger kids from a fire .... Ok? 

We have to train our kids over and over, not to take things, not to go with people, and to talk to us. 

(Spoke about security at Knesset Yehuda ... ) 

(Knesses Yehuda is doing) ... what we hope every cheder is going to do. And that is: install cameras, have someone watching them!, be careful about attendance being taken regularly. Of course, the doors cannot be open, the shomer has to be very careful who he allows in. That's all very important.

If the cheder is safe, you got to make sure they're getting there in a safe way. (Spoke about transportation at Knesset Yehuda.) ... if the cheder's safe, make sure they get there safely. If your kids walk to cheder, make sure they're not walking alone. 

(Spoke about other schools in the neighborhood with the girls' schools and ganim.) Kids cannot be coming home alone from gan. Anyone who is in gan, cannot come home alone, and a bunch of gan kids together are not safe either. 

(Spoke more about Knesset Yehuda.) 

The ribono shel olam should help us all. Once again, I've told you everything. I said, ,-m1N ON •'] '11'< lY.UN x'7 ON •'7 'IN, I hope I haven't said too much, but if I wouldn't tell you the whole truth, I think that would be doing you a disservice at this point. 

Understand, most of what you're hearing about in the street is rumor, speculation, some of it is totally not true, some of it is "who knows". A lot of the kids, even that have spoken up, we don't know if they're part of this or not. There are a lot of unknowns. What we have to do is secure our cheders, secure our bais ya'akovs, and take care of our own children. And daven. 

The Ribono she! olam, should be '7•y1)1 ll'.lll!.l, all of us, our children ... Here we are, a community that came to Yerushalayim from Chutz La'aretz, probably, among other reasons, but the most important one is because we believe this is where we want to raise our children, these are the values we want them to grow up with. The Ribono shel olam should be ~'7nn our sincere desires to raise our children il~JrljD. mnuar, to be healthy, happy, productive members of Kial Yisrael and ovdei Hashem Yisbarach.